Lucas
Lucas
| Official A.L.E. File For: Lucas |
| Name : Lucas Age : "Ask me that question again and I'll kill you" Sex : Yer damned straight, cowboy! Weight : Enough to crush you Education : Torture Methodology Last Tetnis Shot : Never, he's rabid "What You Would Do For A Klondike Bar?" : I'd rip out your intestines through your eyes Honors : Named "Most likely to overthrow a government" 1994 Hobbies : Killing Favorite Book : The Marine Handbook Favorite Quote : "Shut your face hippie"/"I'm going to rip out your eyes and piss on your brain" Biography : I was born. I grew up. I learned to compose symphonies. I invented the artificial heart. I learned to speak Japanese. I became a teen idol. I won an oscar, but declined my pathetically stupid MTV movie award. I successfully argued for the death penalty in the supreme court so we can further rid the Earth of scum. I hit the winning run in the 1952 world series. I made a billion dollars and lost it all in Vegas. I ran for president on the platform of ridding the earth of hippies and stupid peeple. I died. I came back to life. I revised War and Peace to make it less cumbersome. I was the second person to set foot on the moon. I created my own religion based on true love and a personal relationship with God that no greedy, power hungry church interferes with and got rid of all the other stupid ones that preach hatred and give you stupid outdated rules to live by as if God actually cares if you do any of them. I became a practicing physician. I founded a city. I united the world under one peaceful government, but it fell apart because of the idiots. Finally I joined the Marines where I now train to become a more efficient killer to protect the good 'ol USofA. So don't fuck with me. I have important things to do. |
| Pictures of Lucas |
