Name : -RoG-

Age : subzero

Sex : Only with lemmings

Weight : Husky

Education : Helga's Trucking School

Last Tetnis Shot : 7/13/85

"What You Would Do For A Klondike Bar?" : I'd lick some rust

Honors : Named "Most likely to achieve world peace" 1994

Hobbies : Hippie Termination and Doing the Richard Simmon's "Deal-A-Meal" plan

Favorite Book : The Cynic's Dictionary

Favorite Quote : "Fuck Ryan Outload!" because it sounds like "For Cryin Outloud!" when you say it really fast

Biography :

-RoG- was born in Alaska in 1976. His father, "Big Goomba", disowned him after he realized that his son was a failure in the art of "ice fishing". Luckily, some local penguins and one polar bear took -RoG- into their family and raised him as their own. With their aid, -RoG- picked up on the instincts of the animal kingdom. Often seen urinating in public to "mark his teritory", -RoG- let's everybody know that his animal instincts are stronger than ever whenever the chance arises. Now a member of Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy., -RoG- enjoys the chance to express himself through his musical insanity. When asked what his proudest moment was in a 1997 interview in Forbes magazine, -RoG- responded, "When I learned the word 'Rhubarb' of course! Why, did you think I was going to say something like 'When we put our first tape out!' or something!? Get real!" Interesting fun fact: -RoG- and Evanderhoëf Rolnichek were in a band a long time ago called "GROG". Their mascot, "Glurp", is still alive and well today. Glurp is the skeleton that you see on the main page, and if you talk badly about Glurp, -RoG- and Evanderhoëf are likely to whoop yo' pidley ass!

In recent years -RoG- has been working on a cloning project. Not much is known about this, but rumor has it he has been successful in creating a clone of himself named: "-GoR-". Not much is known about -GoR- and we're trying to get some pictures of him/it. We'll keep you poster on -GoR- and what his role will be in a.l.e.

*There will be more info on -RoG- when he feels like adding it to this page. If you want to learn more about him, go visit his website:

-RoG-'s Website