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The Gingerdead Man

So there's this movie called "The Gingerdead Man" that I had been looking forward to seeing for quite a long time. The name alone is a winner and when you add in the fact that it's a tale about a killer (played by Gary Busey no less!) who gets reincarnated in a bakery as a homicidal gingerbread man, you expect nothing less than a horror-comedy masterpiece. And just look at this cover:

The Gingerdead Man - starring Gary Busey!

Just look at that, it's beautiful! They even used the free "Godzilla" font for the box art for chrissakes. Gary Busey. Killer gingerbread man. Cheap fonts. How could this anything but entertaining!? Seriously folks, I was expecting the next Jack Frost movie here. Instead, I'm extremely sorry to report that it's one of the most uneventful movies I've seen in quite a long time.

First off, the ENTIRE movie takes place inside of the bakery where Busey the psychopath is brought back to life as a homicidal gingerbread man after his ashes are mixed in with some cookie dough and blood (don't ask). When he comes to life (about a HALF HOUR into the movie which is ONLY 60 minutes long!!), he's as small as a regular gingerbread man cookie. He then starts eating a bunch of the other baked goods, so naturally I assumed he would grow bigger and become a giant raging cookie. But no, he doesn't, he stays the same size and instead makes a few bad jokes here 'n there. It comes off like "Child's Play" without any of the good one-liners or budget to back it up.

Second, I'd say about 90% of the movie is spent on character development. It's a movie about a fucking homicidal cookie, you don't need character development! When people rent a movie called the Gingerdead Man, they are expecting to see some damned amusing kills, and it's the job of the moviemakers to make 'em happen. The only thing they made me do is wish I rented "The 'Burbs" for the 500th time in my life instead. (shut up, it's a fucking great movie and if you don't agree, leave this web site right now)

In the end, the movie is only 60 minutes long, yet it feels like an eternity due to the fact that nothing really happens. The death scenes aren't even worth mentioning, you quickly grow tired of seeing the same two rooms of the goddamned bakery (couldn't they have at least tried shooting some of the film in a friend's house for a change of scenery? I expected a little more from the same guy who directed "Trancers".), and not even Gary Busey's crazy ass will make you crack a smile upon viewing any of it. It had all the promise of the next great horror-comedy, but it failed on every level, so do yourself a favor and skip this one. Not that I need to tell you to do that. I'm probably one of the only guys in the country who gives a shit about renting a movie starring a killer cookie.

So have any of you actually seen this disaster of a film? If so, what'd you think. If not, name another horror movie you were really looking forward to that was a big let-down.



Fathom Zero (Guest) on 02/17/2006 7:48 am

May I be the first to say that The Sixth Sense was the most boring movie ever, I don't share the same opinions as everyone else. The whole thing was a gradual slowing-down from an otherwise good beginning, all leading up to an anti-climactic ending. While I don't think it may be as bad as the Gingerdead Man, the Sixth Sense remains one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I loved Jack Frost, by the way.


SunnyD (Guest) on 02/17/2006 2:36 pm

i rented this one movie at the local blockbuster called "the dead hate the living" and i honestly expected it to be a tad funnier than what it was. they used ms paint for the fire neear the end of hte movie for crissakes! but no, it was still kinda a huge letdown....


John Boy (Guest) on 02/17/2006 5:24 pm

Have I seen it?? I own this little piece of cinematic gold. Did you happen to notice that the female leads name in the movie is Sarah Lee? Jesus Christ this movie reeks of awesome. I would go as far as to say that the Gingerdead Man is the Citizen Kane of Psychopathic Holiday cookie movies. The fact that Busey signed on to this "project" leads me to believe that he hasn't just "hit the skids" he IS "the skids". I thought that I liked this movies so much because the first time I watched it I was playing Edward 40 hands with myself (You know, the game where you duct tape two 40oz's to your hands, only removing them when they have both been consumed), but I've watched it several times since sober, each with awesome results. Actually, this film was a fucking train wreck, I just kinda wanted to get someone else to watch it. Its tough to think that probably five other people in the world have experienced the 60 minutes enema of acid that is the "Gingerdead Man". Also, I would like to encourage you all to go out and rent "Frankenhooker" I was tricked into renting this movie when I was like 10 because it was the only movie at my video store with a talking box. When you pushed a button on the side it said "Wanna Date?" in a puesdo scary voice, I'm afraid that the talking box was the best part of that movies.


wiggyman (Guest) on 02/17/2006 8:31 pm

Want a dissapointing time? Go see Hostel.

For a movie so hyped as the most graphic and intense film ever, it was way too story focused and dull. It was supposed to be so horrifying that paramedics were called in at advanced screenings (you all remember the bullshit hype). I fell asleep twice in the theatre.

There was only one reason anyone went to that movie, to see ungodly amounts of brutal physical torture uncut and in it's full, gooey glory. It just made you want to shout at the screen "just shut the hell up and kill someone already!"


raxar (Guest) on 02/17/2006 9:57 pm

so is it safe to say that this cookie is less palatable than a cardboard sandwich?


Ryan Wolven (Guest) on 02/18/2006 12:15 am

A good horror Comedy:
holy shat is that a damn funny movie. seriously, its one worth renting.
lots of kills, awesome jokes and some good sex thrown in for measure.


The Bob (Guest) on 02/18/2006 7:20 am

I bought this movie a few weeks ago at a garage sale. And my God was it boring!
Your right about the death scenes, the only good one was The butcher baker guy getting thrown into the oven.


AngryHydralisk (Guest) on 02/18/2006 10:09 am

Character development in a b-horror flick. That on paper sounds amusing and more realistic and likely to happen then say, "Character development in a comedy or hyper-violent anime".


me (Guest) on 02/18/2006 7:50 pm

first there was santas slay, now gingerdeadman! what's next, cupids revenge?


Chirko (Guest) on 02/20/2006 5:10 am

Wow, a homocidal gingerbread man... I'm getting a boner just thinking about it...

Is anyone else depressed about the fact that this obvious piece of utter garbage got funding?


El Guano (Guest) on 02/20/2006 10:08 am

Not really,todays horror movies are just GingerDead man with a better Budget.


lordpoke (Guest) on 02/20/2006 10:58 am

uum..yea....this movie was want the best watch "Santa'a Slay" ITS GOT FRIGGEN GOLDBERG AS SANTA!!! in the first 5 minutes an old man threatens to stick a fork in a guys eye for groping his wife and then gives this beauty "YOU HALF A FAG IM GUNNA STICK THIS FORCK IN YOUR MOTHERF*CKING EYE, WHY DONT YOU ASK SANTA FOR A PAIR OF BALLS!!" notions of "dry turkey" and foreplay are given....and then santa a way only goldberg was ment to be in...a palmeranian is punted across the room hits a ceiling fan ricotchets and hits the chimney...and fran dresser is murdered....AND THATS IN LIKE THE FIRST 10 MINUTES!!!


perry (Guest) on 02/20/2006 7:30 pm

i think you should watch chopping mall, i've been very tempted to rent it but i never have yet, robots go crazy in a mall and start killing people


-RoG- (Guest) on 02/20/2006 8:07 pm

Fathom Zero, I wasn't a big fan of the Sixth Sense either, but when a movie is overhyped like that one was, it's destined to disappoint.

John Boy, you had me goin there for a minute, I really thought you actually liked the Gingerdead Man. I'm glad to see that wasn't actually the case. And damn you for reminding me about that Frankenhooker box, now I'm gonna want to find a working one which will be next to impossible I'm sure.

wiggyman, yes Hostel was a huge let-down, I didn't even think it was shocking or really gory at all, not compared to some of the real horror movies I've seen over the years. It really just felt like a skin-a-max movie more than anything.

raxar, believe it or not, yes, it IS even less palatable than your cardboard sandwich. When are you gonna finish eating that thing anyway, it's been quite a while since you started posting in this blog about it. Cardboard must have some kind of expiration date too, just like bread.

The Bob, I didn't even like that death scene. I thought it was weak how they all clumsily fumbled around as they barely exerted any energy to push him into the oven room.

lordpoke, between that one and the new horror movie with Kane from the WWF (I refuse to call it WWE), the world of horror appears to have been hit over the head with a chair and piledrived into the canvas of stupidity.

perry, good call. I actually OWN "Chopping Mall" and it's a total classic. It's been on my "movies to be reviewed" list for quite a while now. Maybe I'll finally get around to it this year!


Ben (Guest) on 02/21/2006 4:44 am

Chopping Mall is a cinematic masterpiece!! Especially since it stars that one curly haired blonde chick from Night of the Comet and she also played a cheerleader in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. But out of all the holiday themed horror flicks, I still have to say the best (worst) one was Uncle Sam that took place on the 4th of July. Soooooo bad. Just you wait everyone till I make Rent-A-Cop 4 (there is no 1-3 unless you count that one movie starring Burt Reynolds and Liza Minelli, which I don't) it will make all bad movies look like Citizen Kane, plus the fact that I'm gonna make it 3 and a half hours long. Oh, I can't wait to make this film. If I'm able to even start filming I can die happy.


Simon (Guest) on 02/21/2006 7:32 am

I used to love the Burbs! I haven't seen it in so long, hopefully I'll be able to rent it out now you've reminded me.


Jreed (Guest) on 02/21/2006 7:48 pm

Ok...since where on the subject of bad movies,let's get started on two movies that must have come from hell....or at a discount bin over at Hollywood video.Anyways,if you happened to come across this movies....plese,dispose of them at once...only if your sound of mind.But,for the rest of you screwballs,then I dare you to watch these two movies,School's out,and Slasher's.Both made from the movie company Fangoria.Maybe you've heard of them.Anyways,these movies will make you cut off your mother's scrotum and eat it!It's that bad!There worse than Jason X and New Nightmare(You know it's true, Rog.) combined!


Wolfguy (Guest) on 02/23/2006 5:26 am

Oh, Garey Busey. You played Buddy Holly, once. Now you're starring in a Full Moon Productions movie. You actually signed on with the company that made such "films" as Murdercycle and Alien Arsenal. How the mighty have fallen.
It occurs to me that things like this are probably why I seem to have turned to Asia lately for all my movie needs. I'll take Versus or Attack the Gas Station over crap like this any day.


orange (Guest) on 03/28/2006 11:40 pm

i saw his wasnt that bad. i would DEFINENTLY chose it over a peice-of-fucking-bullshit romantic comedy.


Yaoi Huntress Earth (Guest) on 09/29/2006 4:27 pm

I kinda liked Slashers. Mainly because I could actually see Japan putting on a game show like that.

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