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Halloween Junk Mail

Wanna know another thing that makes Halloween unique? I actually look forward to getting my junk mail every day. When I go out to my mailbox, even if I'm not expecting any important letters or packages, I can almost always count on a pile of junk mail to be waiting for me. Well, during Halloween season, that junk mail is often stuff that's fun to look at... even if it's just for a minute or two. All the local costume shops must have the printers working some late graveyard shifts, because every single day I get a new flyer from them. Sure, they showcase most of the same costumes and other Halloween novelties, but it's still always fun to flip through the pages to see if there's something new. Granted, I've always liked Halloween ads and I even did a advertisement photo gallery feature about them last year. Today, however, came what is probably the best piece of Halloween junk mail I've received so far this season:

I vant to suck your Pizza! Pizza!

Little Caesars shows exactly how all businesses should completely embrace Halloween in their advertisements come October every year. They could've just shown Little Caesar dressed as Dracula, but no, they went all out by including pictures of the other classic Universal monsters on the wall too. Then to top it all off, they fill a coffin with pizzas. A COFFIN FILLED WITH PIZZAS. What more could you need in a Halloween advertisement?

I honestly think they're onto something with that image too. Wouldn't you all pay a little extra to the delivery guy if they delivered your pizza to you... IN A COFFIN? I know I would. Seriously, they should just make some coffin-shaped pizzas, put them in coffin-shaped cardboard boxes and they would be the PIZZA KINGS every year for Halloween. If they did that, I'd even forgive them for not carrying their "crazy crust" pizza anymore. For those of you who never had it, they used to offer all different kinds of so-call "crazy" pizza crusts - the best being poppy-seed. Well anyway, that's my story about Halloween junk mail. Pizza, pizza. Have you gotten any amusing Halloween advertisements this year?

So in other news, this is a huge week for I-Mockery. The last full week before Halloween and you know that means a lot of the big stuff we've been working extra hard on this season is coming up. You probably noticed that on Monday and Tuesday we had double-feature days... yep, TWO new pieces in one day. Don't be surprised if you see that happen a few more times before Halloween rolls around!

I've also put up two features, "The Greatest American Hero Costume" and "The Haunt Your Own House Kit" which include some videos. That's another thing I've been slowly working towards doing a lot more of on I-Mockery, so lemme know what ya think of 'em!

And last, but certainly not least... the biggest piece of the entire Halloween season is finally here: I-Mockery's 2007 "Select Your Destiny" Halloween Story! If you've been with the site over the years, you know that this is an annual tradition between myself and the other writers on the site. We spend months working together on a story, playing off of each other with what we write, and come the final week before Halloween, we unveil it for you to enjoy! This is easily the most fun we've had doing a story together and I'm sure it will show in the writing. It's also the largest one of these stories that we've ever done, so it should keep you busy for a while. Hope you enjoy the adventure!



Gryphman (Guest) on 10/25/2006 4:57 am

Damn you! We don't have Little Caesars here anymore. Why must you tempt me with that which I cannot obtain!?


Aks (Guest) on 10/25/2006 7:29 am

We have a Little Caesars here but they dont deliver. But they do have "crazy" bread sticks.
Anyway Im really friggin excited about this choose your adventure piece! Yay for time eating activites!


teknotheef (Guest) on 10/25/2006 8:10 am

Well, about the videos, I absolutely loved the Haunt your own house one, I never stop laughing. I've watched it like 10 times. But to me The Greatest American Hero was a little long for it's own good. seemed to drag. but keep up the good work, I like where your going with the videos!


J. Tithonus Pednaud (Guest) on 10/25/2006 9:30 am

Little Caesar's blows goat.

By far, the best pizzas anywhere are the local mom and pop type places.

Where the main ingredient in love - and sometimes E. coli.

'That which does not kill you, makes you poo like a shotgun'.


i-mock-you- (Guest) on 10/25/2006 9:42 am

Little Cesars... why must you tempt me -RoG- why... I haven't had it since i was about 9.

The coffin shaped pizza box idea is brilliant. Next up, Ghost shaped, jack-o-lantern shaped, vampire shaped, witch shaped... the possibilities are endless.

All the new stuff is awesome, and I can't wait to see the rest of the stuff. Props to the I-Mockery crew!


jack_the_ripper (Guest) on 10/25/2006 11:01 am

Ain't related but, check this out:

Kneel before Zod!!!


jack_the_ripper (Guest) on 10/25/2006 11:05 am


Jesse B (Guest) on 10/25/2006 11:13 am

-RoG- Shall be also known as -GaH-


Jesse B (Guest) on 10/25/2006 12:00 pm


Steve (Guest) on 10/25/2006 12:27 pm

That reminds me RoG... did the Choose Your Own Adventure Book publishers threaten to sue you for using their book name a while back?


-RoG- (Guest) on 10/26/2006 8:03 pm

J. Tithonus Pednaud, while I agree that nothing beats mom 'n pop pizza shops (especially after living in New York and Philly for so long), but Little Caesars is still fine for a cheap 5 dollar pizza. I definitely like them much more than Domino's and Pizza Hut.

Aks, heheh yeah it's over 120 pages long so it'll definitely kill plenty o' time for ya. Most people who've tried going through the entire story have been saying it takes them roughly 2-3 hours.

teknotheef, cool deal. Thanks for the comments and the feedback on both of the videos.

jack_the_ripper, heheh yeah a ton of people emailed me those Zod videos. Good stuff. It's always nice to see of the greatest bad guys of all time starting to appear more in pop culture.

Jesse B, a tad too expensive I think heheh.

Steve, yeah they sent us a Cease & Desist letter a while back, and were actually pretty jerky about it considering I wrote all sorts of nice things about the old stories and tried getting people to buy them. So as a result, I not only removed the book images, I removed any mention of the CYOA stories because I didn't think I should promote any company that treated its fans so poorly. I guess that's what happens when you let lawyers with too much free time run your company. Sad, isn't it?


Eternal (Guest) on 10/27/2006 12:15 pm

Woo, The select your destiny story took me 3 hours to get through. [with only the right choices and none of the others]


Bobby (Guest) on 10/27/2006 4:39 pm

Does anyone else think that Little Ceasar dressed up like the Wolfman in the right picture looks like Alf?


Jason Kane (Guest) on 10/28/2006 1:35 pm

i always thought pizza hut always had the good stuff...does anyone know why these pink and green lines have appeared on my screen..i started it up and they were there..i dunno why.


ryan (Guest) on 10/29/2006 7:48 am

little ceasar's still around? I haven't seen one of those in a long time.


ColdFusion (Guest) on 10/29/2006 3:19 pm

Little Caesar' still exists? Damn, I haven't seen one in decades. Stupid midwest.


Max (Guest) on 10/31/2006 1:00 pm

Nice post. Support fellow bloggers and keep it free

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