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Onward to West Hollywood we go! Plus, Circus Liquor!

So our move to West Hollywood is finally coming up this Thursday and I can't wait to be done with it. As nice as it's going to be living in this new place, if I have to pack up another cardboard box with stuff I haven't seen in the past year, my head just might explode. Then again, they say you if you haven't seen something in over a year, you don't need to hang on to it any more. Well guess what... "they" don't know what they're talking about because "they" aren't pack rats who eventually find uses for stuff they've been holding onto for years like I do.

Speaking of boxes, since we needed so many, we decided there was only one place we could go: Box City!

Where do you go for all your box needs? BOX CITY!

Much like Spatula City in Weird Al's "UHF", this place sells only one thing: boxes. Lots and lots of boxes. Their claim to fame is that you can get "Over 2000 Sizes" of boxes. I can't say I saw quite that many varieties there, but when you're boasting big numbers like that, you generally don't worry about whether anybody else is keeping count. Who's to question whether McDonald's has really sold over 20 billion burgers? We just have to take their word for it. Regardless, Box City definitely had a lot o' moving boxes to choose from and they were far cheaper than the ones for sale at the UPS store or the local grocery store.

Along with packing up the house, there is the inevitable "shit we simply must get rid of" phase. Most of it is stuff that isn't hard to let go of... outdated computer parts from years ago that I still have for some reason, expired "mystery foods" wrapped in tinfoil, dead batteries, t-shirts with dozens of holes in them, etc. etc. Still, there are some larger things going this time. The refrigerator we no longer need because the new place comes with one. I'm not gonna miss it really, it's just a fridge after all, but that's still one more thing I need to take care of before we're done moving out. The thing that is gonna be hard to let go of is our couch:

THE Couch. It will swallow your soul and ask for second servings.

Also known as "THE Couch" amongst our friends, it's a couch that I've had forever and as a result it's insanely broken in. Probably moreso than any other couch in existence. People don't sit on this couch... they sink into this couch. It doesn't just swallow their loose change, it swallows their bodies. I've always thought it was comfortable as hell as do many others, but there are some friends o' mine (especially Protoclown) who hate it with a passion because they find it difficult to get out of. I wouldn't be surprised if a few of my friends who I lost touch with years ago are actually stuck somewhere in the depths of this couch.

Whatever the case, it's really old 'n dirty with broken shards of wood sticking out the back, so even I have to admit that it's time for a new one. Fortunately, we found a badass couch for the new apartment that will be delivered in a few weeks. It's extremely comfortable and we got to choose the color of the fabric too. We went with "GUACAMOLE!" I think it's gonna look great, and if nothing else, it sounds a hell of a lot better than some of the other names such as "CELERY", "FIG", "SEA BREEZE" and "FRECKLE RAVEN". I'll post some pics of the new couch when it arrives, along with pics of our new place once we have it all set up. But before that, I must say goodbye to THE Couch...

Goodbye old friend. You've been with us for many years, surviving countless moves and all the abuse our collective asses could deliver. You've been a place that was often more comfortable to sleep on than most beds. You've left people gaping in awe over your ridiculous level of cushiness. Most importantly, you never gave out on us. Goodbye old friend, you've earned your rest. Enjoy your retirement up in couch heaven.

On a final note, I have to tell you all about a fantastic place we stopped by the other week: Circus Liquor!


I may not drink, but I can still appreciate an insanely awesome liquor store sign when I see one. And honestly, nothing tops this place. Not only do they have an extremely sinister looking clown promoting their liquor, but the inside is a hell of a sight too. Sure, there's plenty of booze in the store, but they also have giant strips of beef jerky that appear to have tire treads on them. They have a generous supply of porn and make no effort to cover it up. They even had cans of "Cocaine" energy drink, which as you may or may not know, was pulled from store shelves as a result of the FDA's decision that the drink was "illegally marketing their drink as an alternative to street drugs". People can't even sell full cans of the stuff on eBay anymore, only empty ones. That's right people of the U.S.A., you can't name your products anything you want. Take that, freedom of speech! Still, Circus Liquor and their evil clown are more than happy to give the finger to the FDA along with anybody else who would dare tell them how to run their liquor store.

In the end, I left the shop with a big smile on my face. I skipped the booze, beef jerky and porn, but purchased a bright green Circus Liquor clown t-shirt and some cans of Cocaine energy drink. Thank you, Circus Liquor clown... thank you. My life is now one step closer to being complete.

Survey: Name something that you had a hard time getting rid of and why it was so hard to let go.

Survey #2: What are some other establishments and/or products that use creepy looking clowns in their logo?



gigi (Guest) on 08/15/2007 9:55 am

One time I found a shopping cart outside. It was magnificient so I decided to keep it. But then, 2 years after, I moved and I couldn't keep it. It was a sad day for me because I used to do cool stuff with it like 1-person shopping cart race, or trying to stay alive in the shopping cart goind down a hill ending with a river and sharp rocks. Such great memories...


Chris (Guest) on 08/15/2007 10:18 am

In before Ronald McDonald.


James (Guest) on 08/15/2007 11:14 am

My first moped was hard to let go, even though the chinese made fuel tank had a huge crack in it, which probably would've exploded had I continued riding it....

Still it was a fine vehicle that served me well.
It would have been funny if I exploded, and yet continued to ride down the street, with my Space Balls helmet on...


briny bill (Guest) on 08/15/2007 1:17 pm

my life i lost it to aniame join ddaaf (drunk drivers aganst aniame fans) today


arg_zombies (Guest) on 08/15/2007 2:26 pm

That time I accidentally stucka pound coin to the palm of my hand with a glue gun, accidentaly being the keyword here :)

According to the McDonalds wiki page, Ronald wasn't even a clown, he was a cousin and wrote the biography
Now that's just mean


Tristan (Guest) on 08/15/2007 3:43 pm

I got a legendary liquor clown for you. Everyone that lives in or near Middletown, New Jersey knows of the evil clown of Middletown. It is considered a landmark and i believe it's fame prevented it from being torn down. Pick up any weird New Jersey magazine or watch Clerks II to see this magnificent structure.


Tristan (Guest) on 08/15/2007 3:44 pm

P.S. there is even a wikipedia page for it when you search Evil Clown of Middletown


SupraGenius (Guest) on 08/15/2007 3:59 pm

Shirts with dozens of holes are always REALLY comfortable, and very hard for me to part with. Especially if they are extremely large and baggy. I never throw them away. At some point, someone else must do it, or else they eventually just totally dissolve into dust. I have the same problem with socks, but at some point or another, every sock simply vanishes.


jesse (Guest) on 08/15/2007 7:44 pm

When I moved in with my girlfriend I gave up my Royal Australian Air Force poster that said "This is a MANS job" I loved it because it was so un-PC and sexist.


Protoclown (Guest) on 08/15/2007 8:00 pm



Jesse B (Guest) on 08/15/2007 8:46 pm

Hey, -RoG-, do you need a enemy to take on that Sergeant Slaughter G.I.Joe?


The Squatch (Guest) on 08/15/2007 10:51 pm

The single hardest thing I ever got rid of was my old DeLorean. I got it in 93' and hung onto it until last year. The transmission went out and there aren't a whole lot of replacement DeLorean transmissions on the market. The thing I miss most about it was whenever someone would ask me where we were going I could say " the future" but that joke isn't as funny in a Mercury Sable


Jimmi (Guest) on 08/15/2007 11:50 pm

The The Funhouse (A punk club in Seattle) has an awesome evil clown on the front of the building.


J. Tithonus Pednaud (Guest) on 08/16/2007 9:49 am

The old-school Ronald McDonald, played by Willard Scott is creepy as hell. He looked more like a shambling dumpster heap of trash and bad intentions.


Fauna (Guest) on 08/16/2007 10:39 am

Right near my house, there used to be a place called "TIP TOP CLEANERS" that had a creepy mine [does that count?] that winked at pedestrians and tipped his hat. Unfortunately, somebody stole the mime in '06 and the dry cleaner's was torn down earlier this year. Damn mime.


shannon (Guest) on 08/16/2007 12:25 pm

i just want to send my condolences to THE couch. it will be missed, as it was the perfect place to sink into after a few glasses of wine.....


WarpedBoard (Guest) on 08/16/2007 3:33 pm

A moment of silence for what appears to have been a true legend of upholstery...

Actual (possibly) useful fact: liquor stores are a great place to get boxes, especially if you can find one that will give your old ones for free (they often just end up in the dumpster anyhow). Those are some very sturdy boxes... and if you're REALLY lucky, they might even have an evil clown on them!


Tim (Guest) on 08/16/2007 6:13 pm

The hardest thing to let go that I knew had to go was caffeine. What a solidly horrible 2 weeks quitting caffeine is when you drank roughly a 2 liter of soda a day.

As for creepy clown logos, doesn't the casino Circus Circus have a big clown on the front of it? And don't you have to enter said casino through it's mouth? It has been awhile since I have been to Vegas though, so someone please correct me if I am mistaken.

So when the couch goes to the trash, how long do you think it will be before someone grabs it?


ColdFusion (Guest) on 08/16/2007 10:14 pm

Fuggin FDA. Hey, they should call it "NOT COCAINE" instead! Can't argue with that!
Creepy clowns rule.. CIRCUS liquor? Yeah.. enough to get an elephant drunk! XD


uncle_sham (Guest) on 08/17/2007 12:02 pm

Rog! i totally seen u on tv lastnight! i was watching gamehead on spike tv and they were at comicon and the was interveiwing another guy at the wow/blizzard area and when the interiew started im pretty sure i seen u run out of shot quickly. u had a very large poster at hand.


MrEff (Guest) on 08/17/2007 1:14 pm

In uni about a year ago at Halloween me and my housemates used some wood, a pair of old crutches and various other materials to build a trebuchet. We even took it out on the street and used it to fling oranges and other fruit at other people and friends houses. It was a marvelous contraption but alas we had to leave it when we all graduated.


Eric (Guest) on 08/17/2007 1:50 pm

one of the hardest things i had to let go of was a toy box i had for years...i would occasionally use it for books,dirty laundry,etc...i had to sell it at our garage sale.


nuffels (Guest) on 08/18/2007 11:03 am

actually, the hardest thing for me to get rid of was my old couch. it was extremely comfotl i'd had it since i was born.


Aks (Guest) on 08/18/2007 7:46 pm

We have a part store called Tribot (can't spell it right) and it has a kinda creepy clown. For a creepy product, if you count movies, I'd say Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Scurry.

I had to give away a basketball game that I had since I was like 4 about 2 or 3 years ago. It fuckin' sucked, I regreatted it big time. It was like a mini basketball court that shot balls, and the backboard went back and fourth. :( I miss that thing.


Dauss (Guest) on 08/19/2007 1:39 pm

Oh my, my precious sweater...

My mom took me to 'take your kid to work day' and dressed me up all stupid. All the other kids had dressed fine, but not me...

So we went at lunch and bought myself a 20 dollar sweater.

I fell in love with that sweater... Covered in blood stains from nicking myself, the colours are beginning to fade... But I'll never let it die. My mom refuses to let me wear it to school, she says she'll burn it first... But then I'd stab her. :)

Oh precious sweater, never leave me...


Angryhydralisk (Guest) on 08/20/2007 10:09 am

I'd go to that clown store, even though I don't drink either.


1. My video games and LEGOs. These things WERE my life for the first twenty years, and the way people knew me best. Now I have communed with the animals and they give me kisses. Now I am more like a caucasianopian Ace Ventura with glasses.

2. Duhh......Insane Clown Posse official face paint? I don't really dabble too much with clowns either.


guitarjon123 (Guest) on 08/21/2007 1:37 am

welcome to west hollywood.


Nothing (Guest) on 08/21/2007 5:18 pm

Hey Rog. I don't know if I've ever had to get rid of anything I cared about so much that I couldn't get rid of it. I hate clutter.

Creepy Clowns for a logo? Maybe Bozo the clown back in the day. That show was strange...

Hey Rog, I always wanted to ask.. Do you work in LA now too or do you just do internet stuff these days? Also, what made you want to go to LA? I never pictured you and Re being the type to live out there.. Are you going to try and be in the movies?? :o


noe (Guest) on 08/29/2007 10:56 am

Nooo not the couch!! I think half of my childhood toys are entombed in there...and probably all of those escaped hermit crabs we never found.


ghostmorphine (Guest) on 09/17/2007 8:08 pm

The Circus Circus in Vegas may still have a clown, but the one in Reno is really creepy, and over three stories tall. And directly in the center of downtown. It sort of overshadows most of reno when you walk past it.

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