So today I want to talk to you a little bit about bubble lights. Why? Because I recently went to one of my favorite shops in L.A., La Luz de Jesus, which has some of the greatest books, art and novelty items you'll find anywhere in the country. While walking through the store, I noticed what can only be described as the Ultimate Halloween Bubble Light plugged into one of the walls. I immediately asked the cashier if they sold them, and sure enough, they did. Now, I like a good set of vintage Christmas tree bubble lights as much as the next guy, but this Halloween one truly takes the cake. Feast your eyes on this beauty:
Almost makes you want to shed a tear doesn't it? Even the glitter inside it is black and gold in some bright orange water. Absolute bubbly perfection. I was real happy with how that pic turned out, so here's a large still photograph of it for any of you who want a nice wallpaper image for your desktop. Oh bubble lights... can you do no wrong?
Actually, apparently they can because, with this badass bubbler, comes a set of "important safety instructions for bubble lights." And like any product, the only reason such precautions are included with them to begin with, is because at some point in time a bonehead made the mistake of nearly killing himself with it. Some of the warnings include:
-If vial breaks, do not swallow liquid. If swallowed, call your local poison control hotline.
-If liquid gets into eyes, flush thoroughly with water and contact your local poison control hotline.
Can you imagine just how a phone call like that to your local poison control hotline would go?
Operator: "Poison control hotline, how may I help you?"
Bonehead: "My bubble light broke!"
Operator: "Ok sir, but what does that have to do with you being poisoned?"
Bonehead: "I... I couldn't help myself! I had to drink it!"
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but we didn't cover 'bubble light poisoning' in our training sessions. Can you tell me what it says on the box for this bubble light?"
Operator: "Why not?"
Bonehead: "Because I had to pour the rest into my eyes and now I'm blind too!"
You know, come to think of it, I'd love it if somebody who worked at a poison control center would release a CD of their most insane phone calls. Oh the stories I bet they could tell...
Anyway, I hope you're all enjoying our annual "Two Months Of Halloween" here on I-Mockery so far. We're really scouring the earth to bring you some extremely spiffy Halloween coverage this season. It puts a smile on my face seeing all the stores slowly become Halloweenified while we've already been covering Halloween all month long. Over the weekend, I saw the first one of those "Spirit" seasonal Halloween shops pop up in Burbank, but their selection was pretty bad. Maybe it's just because it was still early September, but the stuff they had in the shop just didn't compare to previous years. Even more odd was a huge section in the center of the store that they were using to sell framed poster prints. No, not Halloween poster prints, but random "oldies" posters ranging from photos of Marilyn Monroe to James Dean. It just didn't feel right. Fortunately, there are plenty of other stores in the area that are already doing Halloween the justice it deserves. Why, just the other day I picked up one of the most hilariously cheap Halloween gems you'll ever lay your eyes on... but you'll find out all about that later this week.
So what fun Halloween stuff have you guys seen in your towns so far? Anything I should know about? As always, feel free to make suggestions for anything else you'd like us to cover on the site this Halloween season!
p.s.: I hope you've been collecting all of Max's "Scary-Ass Cards: Series II" so far because there are plenty more to come! More Halloween contests coming soon too!
Mr L. Jenkins (Guest) on 09/11/2007 7:56 am
Spooky lighting, check.
Giant eyeball, Check.
Strange fluid that appears to be semen, check.
Tube filled with glittery water, check.
Yep, I'm sold
Ian (Guest) on 09/11/2007 10:26 am
hey ROG i have some bubble lights but not as cool as the eye bye light.
Cpt. Beardless (Guest) on 09/11/2007 10:38 am
This is the first time I've ever seen a Bubble Light. Marvelous!
I have to say though, where I live we don't take halloween that seriously.. It's just too cold here and everyone becomes depressed then form death metal bands instead of celebrating.
James (Guest) on 09/11/2007 10:44 am
The zoo where I work is throwing a huge halloween fundraiser, with several scary different themes. Sadly, it is not allowed to be to creepy, because it is a "family" event :(
Other than that, the city of Gainesville seems to be desolate of halloween decor, I blame the church!
Joe Davis (Guest) on 09/11/2007 11:48 am
hey rog maybe you can do a piece on good halloween movies to rent for the season thanx
arg_zombies (Guest) on 09/11/2007 3:37 pm
A few idiots are putting up Christmas stuff :/
-RoG- (Guest) on 09/11/2007 3:51 pm
Mr. Jenkins, you have chosen... wisely.
Ian, as long as you have some kind of bubble lights in your life, all is well. Everybody needs at least one.
Cpt. Beardless, where are you located exactly, Norway?
James, heheh, I can understand why there need to be "family" Halloween events so that the really young kids aren't traumatized, but damnit, can't they split the zoo in half so you have one side dedicated to truly horrific stuff for older people to enjoy?
Joe Davis, no need to, simply go through the countless horror movies we've already featured on this site and take your pick! The "Greatest Horror Movie Moments" section is a good place to start. But, if you need suggestions for a specific type of horror movie, feel free to ask and I'll do my best to give ya some recommendations.
arg_zombies, yeah... some stores always start putting up Christmas stuff this time o' year. It's sad when you see a store that has more Christmas stuff than Halloween stuff for sale in September or October.
James (Guest) on 09/11/2007 3:55 pm
You'd think they'd do that, come to think of it, that is a really good idea. I'll bring it up to the higer ups tomorrow, thanks Rog! If the idea flies, you get full credit, or candy, whatever comes first.
Cpt. Beardless (Guest) on 09/11/2007 4:49 pm
-RoG-, nope but close. I live in Sweden.
MEK (Guest) on 09/11/2007 7:18 pm
London doesn't seem to do Halloween too much, it's too dangourous here, guys my age and up mostly in hoods all year around, attacking people for phones and what not, happened to me once on a double decker bus >.> NOT a good thing.
But Luckly, if I do choose to go out at all at Halloween, I got this cool "Adult Delux Mask" and a Mafia lookin' hat, which go together pretty well.(http://www.themekkingdom.com/Kingdomites/Details/style.html), as for bubble thing, I've got my trusty Lava Lamp on my desk, so I'm happy!
Amanda (Guest) on 09/12/2007 3:23 am
1) I'd never even HEARD of bubble lights before, awesome! Do they basically work like night lights? Because that would be the best and most counterproductive night light of all time...
2) I was watching Unwrapped on the Food Network and they mentioned Boo Berry cereal, and I said, "Hah, they promote that on this website I go to..." and then who appears on the screen? ROG! My boyfriend thinks I'm insanely nerdy for recognizing an internet persona on a food network show... but anyhow, NICE.
MrEff (Guest) on 09/12/2007 12:02 pm
This is one of the reason I hate living in the UK, Halloween here is so underplayed. There's barely anything halloweeny (is that a word?) up near where I live, yet shops are already stocking Christmas decorations and chocolates. Things be crazy here.
Juanfer (Guest) on 09/12/2007 5:42 pm
In Colombia is a lot more fucked up. Like... 8 years ago some people decided that Halloween was "stupid and American" and that it made it easy for "satanic psychos" to kill children with poisoned candy, or just to kidnap them and rape them. So they decided that in November 1st there would be a national day called "Little Angels' Day" or something like that where children still get to ask for candy but they all basically dress in the same fucking costume (like angels?). It's realllllllly stupid.
So now here in Halloween nothing happens. People sometimes make an excuse out of it so they can throw parties but they're just boring parties not costume parties.
Last year I went trick or treating (yeah, enough people told me I was old enough to trick or treat) and there was no one outside. Some evangelical people gave me flyers that said something like "DONT TRICK OR TREAT".
I remember years ago when I was a little kid I was too scared of masks to go out every year, but I went out once or twice and malls and all that were crowded. Oh good ol' times.
I want an excuse to dress up ):
Anonymous (Guest) on 09/12/2007 7:35 pm
^ What the fuck
Aks (Guest) on 09/13/2007 4:59 pm
I dunno bout you but since I moved to a better neighbohood Ive been raking in the sweets. Oh yes. The cavaties shall be mine.
-RoG- (Guest) on 09/13/2007 5:27 pm
James, good luck man, may your zoo soon be haunted by the most nightmarish creatures and ghouls this planet has ever seen.
Cpt. Beardless, hey, at least you've got some great music there.
MEK and MrEff , yeah I've heard that there's not much Halloween celebration stuff going on in the UK. There are some great horror attractions there though. Last time I visited London I got to check out The London Dungeon and it was great. The decorations and props were much nicer than most places... I particularly liked the animated one of the lady puking up blood into a big bucket.
Amanda, yep, they work just like night lights, only they bubble when they heat up. You can also get them in stringed form so you can wrap them around a Christmas tree.
Glad you caught my appearance on the Food Network. They always re-air the episode once every couple o' months but I never find out about it until I get this flood of emails from people asking me Boo Berry questions heheh.
Juanfer, you don't happen to still have one of those "DON'T TRICK OR TREAT" flyers do you? I'd love to get a scan of that. I love wacko-religious flyers, they always make for some great laughs.
Aks, if you're looking solely for the best candy haul, I suggest finding a good suburban neighborhood where the houses are all tightly packed together (ie: no huge yards separating them). That's what we always did to cover the most houses in the shortest amount of time.
Juanfer (Guest) on 09/14/2007 6:06 pm
No, I don't happen to have it anymore. I think I threw it on a garbage can that same night. It was in spanish anyway.
Comment by (Guest) on 09/15/2007 4:16 pm
Religious flyers rule.
Do you have "The Weakest Link" tv show in the US?
I have a wacky religious flyer that says shit like: "God is not Anne Robinson" (ie. "cruel" and "a bully") and "The Lord only says "you are the weakest link, goodbye" to those who deny him."
usedbread (Guest) on 09/15/2007 6:58 pm
as far as poison control hotlines go... i glean that youre a fair teetotaler from reading this site for years, but we used to call them to identify pills we'd found/bought. im sure they loved us, since we were calling 4/5x/wk
Gus (Guest) on 09/23/2007 8:44 pm
i wish i lived in LA because then i wouldn't need normal lights, just eyball ones. but seriously, my parents don't like halloween decorations much so i can't decorate :(
anti-whiney kid (Guest) on 10/09/2007 2:48 pm
what a poser emo kid site. ^^
London is best (Guest) on 10/02/2010 12:55 pm
London Dungeon is a must if you visit London
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