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A boneheaded mix-up at Target, plus I-Mockery’s Ultimate Guide to the Halloween Candies of 2007!

As you know by now, there are all kinds of fantastic seasonal Halloween goodies at Target once again this year. But me thinks they have some lazy quality inspectors working for 'em too, because lookee what I found there:

Uhhhhhh, if those are hands, then my hands must be mice.

Funny looking "Bone Hands" aren't they? Yeah, that's because some geniuses put the wrong backing on the package. Unless "Bone Hands" is a hip new way to describe little rodents, I'm thinkin' they screwed up. And this wasn't the only package, there were a bunch of 'em with the same error. Even if this wasn't an error, I got screwed on the deal because it clearly states on the package that there should be an "8 Count" of the Bone Hands I only got 6. But hey, maybe some of you can help me verify that this is in fact a mistake on their part. If any of you own a pet snake that eats mice as part of its diet, the next time you go to the pet store to stock up on them, just go in and say, "Excuse me. I'm all out of food for my pet boa snake... do you have any Bone Hands in stock?" Be sure to let me know what their response is.

So I hope you all enjoyed the "Halloween Candy Week" last week, I sure had a good time doing it and I'm still high as a kite on all those sugary sweets. For those of you who missed out on it, fret not, for it's all up online for you to see now in "I-Mockery's Ultimate Guide to the Halloween Candies of 2007". I still might add some more candies onto the list by the end of the month, but for now I think it's pretty damned comprehensive. Besides, there are more pressing matters to attend to at the moment.

For one thing, I've got our annual "Select Your Destiny" Halloween story to wrap up with the guys. It won't be quite as long as last year's mega-story due to how frequently we've been updating the site this season with so much content, but it should still satisfy more than a Snickers. There's also another Count Pop adventure which many of you have asked about already... so yeah, I'm happy to confirm that one of those is definitely in the works. I never know what I'm gonna end up doing for those things, but that's part of the fun of it all his rockabilly radness. Of course, we'll have plenty of other fun Halloween content going up on the site 'til the very end of this month too along with another contest, so be sure to keep checking back for it.

And finally, my biggest surprise of the Halloween season will be an epic Flash game that should keep you guys busy for quite a while. If you enjoyed our Haunted House Candy Hunt game from last year, this one will amaze you so much that you'll want to thank me by stuffing all your credits cards into an envelope and sending them to me as a gift (something I highly encourage btw). We just finished the demo version of it earlier tonight and I couldn't be happier with how it's going so far. I swear, making video games has got to be one of the most satisfying things I ever get to do. It's a fuck-ton of work, but it's fun work and there's nothing cooler than seeing people's reactions to the finished product. I could say the same about all the articles 'n stuff I do on this site, but the games require even more time, so I guess they're extra special to me. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I want to marry them, ok? Ok.


In a rare bit of non-Halloween news, I just finished my Level 2 improv class with the Upright Citizens Brigade. From what I've been told, it's the hardest level of all the classes, and I'm inclined to believe it. After getting back from one of those 3-hour classes, it's easy to feel really mentally wiped out. There's just a lot of paying attention you have to do, which I suppose is ironic since one of UCB's main slogans is "Don't Think". Anyway, I guess it's good that I learned a lot and survived the level 2 course since a lot o' people supposedly drop out (I think we only had one guy drop out of our class this time). I'm definitely looking forward to moving on to the next classes, but I probably won't start level 3 until after October is done with.

Ok that's all for now, gotta get back to more writing for the site. Hope you all caught the big gallery of 100+ photos (and a few video clips) from the Halloween Horror Nights and Eyegore Awards Scaremoney show. I'm still thinking of going back there a 2nd time because it was so much friggin' fun. What more could a horror fan want than to be thrown headfirst into the worlds of Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees and Leatherface and still live to talk about it? If I'm sure of anything so far this season, it's that Halloween is alive and well my friends... Halloween is alive and well. Hope you're all making the best of it!



melonian (Guest) on 10/15/2007 10:25 am

Wonderful gallery of the Halloween Horror Nights...It was great to see the tons of pics.

So thanks for all that and the coolest Halloween candy review online!!!

Still two weeks to go! Weeeeeeeeee....


Willem (Guest) on 10/15/2007 11:35 am

Where did you pick up the Wonka Doughnuts from? I live in Canada so I hope they're here too! Great Candy review. You should try to do a retro version sometime of older candies.


Su (Guest) on 10/15/2007 11:42 am

Well, hell, RoG. It's not like you can expect Chinese slave worker babies to be able to read English.


MEK (Guest) on 10/15/2007 12:03 pm

Yaaay for -RoG-! I'm really looking forward to all the awesome stuff you have in store for us! Best of luck mate!


-RoG- (Guest) on 10/15/2007 1:47 pm

melonian, thanks, glad ya dug it all! And yeah, two more weeks to go still... by which time my eyes should be bleeding "Halloween".

Willem, from my experience, the best place to find 'em is at pharmacy stores like CVS and Walgreens, but I would imagine any place that carries a lot of Wonka brand candies would have 'em in stock come October each year. And yeah, I might do a look at older candies sometime, I'll keep that in mind.

Su, hah... sadly this is probably true.

MEK, gracias seƱor!


ninjawolf (Guest) on 10/15/2007 3:05 pm

I thought we were already supposed to be sending you all of our credit cards.


melonian (Guest) on 10/15/2007 4:19 pm

btw -RoG- what are those lessons you're taking about?? Are they acting lessons?


Tim (Guest) on 10/15/2007 4:55 pm

Glad to hear there will be another Count Pop adventure. Good times :)


shannon (Guest) on 10/16/2007 2:10 am

dont forget like i told you last year... universal will start selling out now that its closer to halloween.... i was actually thinking of maybe going a THIRD time the sunday before halloween seeing as its only $39


Maquel (Guest) on 10/16/2007 3:32 pm

...those rodents look damn yummy
if you ask me...


Sticks (Guest) on 10/16/2007 8:42 pm

Wow. Bonehands.


Aks (Guest) on 10/16/2007 10:25 pm

I can just imagine the teacher/director guy above the stage with strings attached to you. "ACT MY PUPPET, ACT!! MUAHHAHAHA!"

I'm still traumatized from trying to be in a school play.


Mandi (Guest) on 10/17/2007 9:02 am

Count Pop is on his way back?!?!?!?!

I think I popped a capillary in excitement.

This Halloween season is turning out to be the best one in recent years for me:) I'm getting married at dusk on Halloween. So it's getting to be a really exciting process for me:)

p.s. Congrats on the Improv Class...always something I wanted to do


ColdFusion (Guest) on 10/17/2007 6:51 pm

What? Somethin 'bout ham bones? *fixes hearing aid* ahh, in my day if you put the wrong candy in a package YOU GOT IT FREE and the seller got a whuppin.
Naw I'm not actually old, but wouldn't that be hilarious?
Wow... Improv classes.. you're, like, amazing. I couldn't do that for shit. XD


-RoG- (Guest) on 10/18/2007 10:42 am

ninjawolf, er yes, that is correct, you should've already been sending me all of your credit cards. What I meant was, that you should also be sending me all of the candy you get from trick-or-treating this year as well.

melonian, heheh... it depends on who you ask. Some people say acting lessons and improv are a lot alike, but I haven't taken acting lessons before so I couldn't say. This is long-form improv and it, like the name implies, requires you to make up stuff on the spur of the moment based on audience suggestions and playing off your scene partners. It really trains you to pay close attention to what people are saying and keeping track of what was already done in the various scenes. There are improv groups everywhere, and I'd suggest going to see a good one if you really want to know what it's all about.

shannon, hehe yeah I remember... I'm not even sure if I'll have time to go again this month. Already so much stuff going on at the moment, but if I can go again I will!

Mandi, thanks, glad you guys are looking forward to another Count Pop installment. And that's pretty cool you're gettin' married on Halloween! Congrats! Make sure they all throw candies at you instead of rice at the end of the ceremony. You gotta go out in style!

ColdFusion, heh, nah there's nothing amazing about it... you just gotta be willing to get up there and try it. Lots of people do it. Once you accept that some scenes are gonna suck and some will be gold, there's really not much to fear.


RADIX (Guest) on 10/18/2007 9:05 pm

Perhaps it's a trick. You rip open the fake mice to find, not a mousy skeleton, but a BONE HAND! Damn red herrings!

And congrats on making it through your Level 2 course. You are obviously a better man than me.


Daniel (Guest) on 10/21/2007 1:50 pm

Cheap dollar store halloween items are always like this. I once went to a Dollarama and there were shelves full of "Daggers" which were actually battle axes.


FoRgEd (Guest) on 10/30/2007 10:29 am

Those look just like same junk, that i bought to my all-knowing cat.

Someone actually bought these?


Mike Paahana (Guest) on 11/01/2007 10:38 pm

wasssup Mike da MAN any body like play out dere

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