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An Open Letter to Hannah Montana, Who Made My Daughter Cry.

Poor Cordie...

Dear Ms. Montana…

Ms. Cyrus… Miley. My name is Max Burbank. I’m just a small-time comedy writer and proud father. Cordelia, my youngest daughter, is seven. This year for Christmas, Santa brought her a Hannah Montana doll, the Hannah Montana Backstage Closet, and a Hannah Montana FM radio microphone. Santa knows Cordelia loves you. I think Santa knows that Cordie isn’t just a fan. You inspire her. You make her want to reach for the stars, and believe that she can do that by embracing her essential self, being true to her heart and her friends. And Cordie’s not alone. All over the country, little girls look up to you not because you’ve done something they can’t, but because they see in you all they can become.

Cordie’s a good girl. She understood we couldn’t take her to one of your concerts. She knows the tickets are bigger than the biggest present we could buy her. She knows that in America, Santa can’t give every child what they want, even if they really want it, even if they are as good as they can be. At seven, she understood that concerts are only for a few people who have a way to get some of the limited tickets that are available, for the one performance they can travel to. When your movie came out, she was so excited! It wouldn’t be the same as seeing you, but it would be as close as most kids would ever come and that was good enough for her. She’s a bright little thing, but bright as she is I couldn’t get her to understand why the movie was only going to play for a week and that tickets were very, very hard to get. She’s only seven. It didn’t make any sense to her.

Daddy,” She said, “only rotten stinky movies run for just a week! That won’t happen to the Hannah Montana movie! I love Hannah Montana! We all love Hannah Montana very, very much! Her movie will play and play until every little kid who wants to see it has a chance!

She didn’t understand that while Miley Cyrus is a real person, a girl just a little older than she is with a father who dotes on her, Hannah isn’t real. Hannah is a product someone owns. Hannah Montana can be packaged and manipulated and campaigned and sold in whatever way the corporation that owns her thinks will increase her market value. At seven, Cordie can’t grasp concepts like that, and frankly, I’m glad. The more years she can grow without understanding the difference between Hannah and Miley, the better.

Today I read in the paper that the Hannah Montana movie made more money than any other movie this week. I read that the corporation that owns the movie has changed their plan and decided to let the movie ‘play and play until every little kid who wants to see it has a chance!’ which is almost certainly what that corporation had always intended. It was just a marketing trick. Cordelia will get to see the Hannah Montana movie, maybe more than once. Even though my wife and I had to tell her last week we couldn’t get tickets. Even though she cried herself to sleep in my arms. Even though she was already made to believe that Hannah Montana is only for a few, select, special girls and that good as she is, she just isn’t good enough.

Cordelia won’t hold it against Hannah. She doesn’t think there’s any difference between Ms. Montana and Ms. Cyrus. Because she sees right through Hannah to you, Miley. She could never believe you’d pull a mean old trick on her like that. She could never believe you’d make her cry. And I bet she’s right. You wouldn’t. I’m a dad. I know a good little girl when I see one.

In fact, I think you’re good enough and strong enough that even though someone besides you owns Hannah Montana you’ll use your voice to ask them not to make little girls like my daughter cry. I believe in you because Cordelia loves you and I trust her judgment. I hope in the future you won’t let either one of us down.


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CarpetGnome on 02/05/2008 3:56 am

Wow...... not even one swear word....

I feel for your Daughter, My step (I hate the sound of that) daughter is only 3, but she calls her "Anna Tanna" and wanted to go see.... we didn't have the cash either.... lucky for us, at 3, icecream is God and it cures all.

I hope she gets to see it as often as it takes to make you angry again.

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Jaimas on 02/05/2008 4:06 am

Incredibly insightful and wholly touching, Max. Hopefully your letter has the desired impact.


James (Guest) on 02/05/2008 7:27 am

Wow...hope your little girl gets to see the film now Mr. Burbank. After writing a letter like this, she should be first in line at the theaters.

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Pentegarn on 02/05/2008 7:32 am

I remember thinking when I heard that movie would be a limited engagement thinking, "They are only doing this to falsely inflate the demand by deliberately limiting the supply." I am not surprised they pulled this crap, it fits their pattern.

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Shadow40000 on 02/05/2008 8:08 am

“only rotten stinky movies run for just a week!"
Kids say the most true things.


valentinaburbank (Guest) on 02/05/2008 9:29 am

Hey sweetie- I love ya - you are a great daddy!!!

The Bride


john (Guest) on 02/05/2008 9:40 am

wow, what a spoiled society we live in. tell your daughter to get over it, and when she crys show her the back of your hand.


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Jigby Huggletinks on 02/05/2008 10:34 am

Good job Max. It's a very good look at the issue. A lot of things I never thought of in there. Your little girl sounds sweet as can be and I hope she gets to see that movie.

And John is a tard. KTHXBYE.

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BakaGaijin on 02/05/2008 10:48 am

Corporations are mean enough, holding back on things that adults want to make us salivate and fight over them. But holding back on something for kids? That's just plain cruel and evil. Yet, we as a species, keep falling into the same traps which makes it such an effective marketing ploy. I wish we could make children understand that "it's just stuff" and that it doesn't matter in the big scheme of things.

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Ronin S on 02/05/2008 10:50 am

I'm personally very disturbed by the way kids are manipulated by the mega marketing corporations. Every day in which I see the newest pop sensation come out that every little girl wants to go see, I am more convinced I was left on the doorstep of my parent's house by aliens from another planet. Even when New Kids on the Block were all the rage, and He-Man was the highest rated cartoon on TV, I never dreamed of being a pop star.


valentinaburbank (Guest) on 02/05/2008 11:10 am

Wow yourself John!

In the past year Cordie has volunteered for various causes, including homeless children, recycling, saving teacher’s jobs and helping stray animals. She’s asking guests at her next big birthday party to bring donations for the animal shelter instead of gifts.
Oh, by the way – Cordie can also spell “cries” correctly!
So, if she “cries” over not getting to go to a movie, I’m actually okay with that.

What have you done lately, John?

If you showed Cordie the back of your hand, she’d bite it off.
Don’t mess with my girl, John!

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rizzo on 02/05/2008 11:16 am

"I’m personally very disturbed by the way kids are manipulated by the mega marketing corporations."

Make that two of us. Every time I see a little girl in a 'Princess' shirt and short shorts crying about how she can't see a Hannah Montana concert, another little piece of me dies. God damn Disney(and all the other huge corporations that make billions of dollars every year from the tears of children).

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Great Mighty Poo on 02/05/2008 11:45 am

Reminds me of when I was young they did a Ninja Turtles live tour. At the same time it was the dumbest and most 'gimmicky' thing I had ever hears of but it was also about the coolest thing. If one couldn't have the cure for cancer or world peace, surely then Ninja Turtles singing and rocking live on stage would be acceptable.

Same thing with Miss Montana here, just a different decade (and perhaps a different gender appeal).


Napalm (Guest) on 02/05/2008 12:11 pm

Here's a thought - stop coddling your kids people and letting them run your lives. Limit their TV exposure (I know this will be hard as you use that as a crutch to parenting) and when they 'want what everyone else wants', if you think it's crap tell them why and explain how they shouldn't be a sucker. I'm raising my kid to not be a sheep - maybe you all should do the same, although it sounds like it's too late after all Santa brought her. You doomed yourself, the corporation just exploited the opening you left them.

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Colonel Flagg on 02/05/2008 12:35 pm

My daughter is 5, and I pray that we can keep her from the ravages that is the world of high-stakes marketing for a few more years.

BTW, anyone who thinks that you can keep this sort of marketing from youngsters simply by limiting TV exposure sadly underestimates the power of advertising. The symbols and the images are everywhere, from the supermarket to the classroom.

Nice job, Max, in bringing a poorly conceived marketing ploy into sharp focus, with a personal flair. Hat's off to you.


Napalm (Guest) on 02/05/2008 12:37 pm

Colonel Flagg -

This part was for you - and when they ‘want what everyone else wants’, if you think it’s crap tell them why and explain how they shouldn’t be a sucker. I’m raising my kid to not be a sheep - maybe you all should do the same.

Yes you can't limit / deny exposure but you can sure educate and reason with your child or flat tell them no. Tears may flow but in the end they will thank you for it when they aren't a moron later in life.

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Bus Driver Moe on 02/05/2008 12:39 pm

Napalm, beautiful example of irony if I've ever seen one.

Truth be told, I'm sure it wasn't in the minds of the corporate execs to make your daughter, or any other child cry. They aren't demons or Snidely Whiplash clones twirling their Salvador Dali mustaches as they plan on shutting down Granny's farm. The concert movie has been done before, yes, but on the whole it's an untested market. The first week was more than likely a test to see if it was a viable money maker. Now that it has proven itself, at least when done with a big gun, it'll be seen more often. That and in venues lasting longer than a week, so that all the people that want to see it, can.

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mburbank on 02/05/2008 1:02 pm

Mr Napalm;

Good luck with your kids. I'm certain your strategy won't backfire as you choose for them what culture they will and won't consume.

I choose my battles. No Barney, No Suite Life of Zach and Codey. Hannah Montana passes muster for me. The values and the writing are acceptable. Hey, if it's good enough for Larry David, who's guested on the show, it's okay by me. Not as good as I-Carly, but okay enough.

Check my brides post above and you'll see we have no worries about pop culture poisoning Cordie's wee soul. She's doing okay and is pretty good at knowing what's a TV and what's a parent.

It's also possible you may have missed the location of my tongue in reference to my cheek and taken the blog on a humor website a little more seriously than it was intended.

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Pentegarn on 02/05/2008 1:21 pm

What I am wondering about these people who are posting such negative garbage (Napalm and John, I am looking right at you two and your unoriginal troll act) is what the hell gives you the authority to tell Max how he should raise his kids. Max will do the best he can. Limiting TV will do no good, there is far too much corporate feces splattered over everything, not just TV. All he can do is talk to his kids and try to make things easier in whatever way he is able.

In order to limit exposure to things as you suggest Napalm, you would have to take your kids into the mountains and grow your own food without any access to technology or communication that provides advertising such as TV, radio, the internet, news papers, and magazines. Seeing as how you had to log onto the internet to tell Max how to raise his kids, I am left to wonder if you are capable of raising your kids in this sort of sterile environment? Can you give up the above things in order to hide them from your kids Napalm? Since you couldn't muster the willpower to resist using the internet to hand out parenting advice to Max, I highly doubt you can do so.


Ian (Guest) on 02/05/2008 1:32 pm

Tongue in cheek as it was, Mr.Burbank, it was touching indeed.


steve smashstuff (Guest) on 02/05/2008 1:52 pm

I never thought I'd write 'Max Burbank' and 'Touching' in the same sentence without adding the rejoinder 'Dead Animal.' but, Max Burbank- that was touching.

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Colonel Flagg on 02/05/2008 1:59 pm

One of the reasons I joined this motley crew was the learned discourse and thoughtful exchange of different viewpoints.

Not to mention all the free, wickedly ironic and sarcastic humor.


Napalm (Guest) on 02/05/2008 2:04 pm

I wouldn't have to live in the mountains and grow my own food, but I would have to do what a ton of parents never do - take a stand and be a parent not a push over. My comments still stand to be applied to a VAST majority of parents out there. You know, the ones that paid 1500 dollars so little Debbie could see Hannah Montanna etc.. While I understand the tongue in cheek humor, this whole open letter does speak to a core problem I see with today's families, that being a lack of good parenting. When your child makes most of the decisions in your life, to me that is failing as a parent. (not saying you are, speaking generally about the myriad of people I see shopping that cave the second little Timmy says 'I want').

And as for others here that are starting to attack me, be as defensive as you like, chances are I simply hit a nerve, and you are looking over at your kid sitting in front of the TV getting bombarded with ads when you should be interacting with them. So don't cry to me when you can't get ??? product or whatever the latest fad that 'they have to have' is at the moment.

And I am actually one that practices what I preach, so you can stuff the 'hide it from your kids stuff' I already explained how I operate. If you would like to question that I could care less. Facts are facts and I am what I am and I do what I say. So enjoy paying out the nose for whatever your little rat deems to be a 'must have' I'll be laughing at you from the sidelines and if you look close enough you will be able to read my lips as I lean over to my wife and say:

"ha ha what a sheep, check it out he's actually buying that crap."

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mburbank on 02/05/2008 2:12 pm



Ragnarok (Guest) on 02/05/2008 3:20 pm

I grew up watching television my entire life, my mother was a single mom with a full time job i probably watched on average 6 hours of TV a day.

I am now 23 years old, graduated art school and got into my career due to television. There is nothing wrong with watching children's shows on TV. You are just scared of the media and society and there is no way to shelter your kids.


Jake (Guest) on 02/05/2008 3:27 pm

I wanted to chime in and say I thought your article was fantastic.

It's a shame how kids entertainment is used these days. I too am a comedy writer, but my first professional writing experience came from a kids show. Well, my first professional writing experience was a play to keep all the kids at my college from drinking and doing drugs, which I wrote over a summer of far too much drinking in a house with too many drugs, but my whoredom is besides the point. The point is, my first real writing gig came from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fast Forward, a show that lived for a short time on 4Kids TV.

You never saw my episode. I know that because the show came falling apart. And the show came falling apart because the toy company that made the Fast Forward toys looked at the TMNT movie and said to 4Kids, "We'd really like to make toys like that." Because of that, the show was taken off the air and a lot of people lost their jobs.

I'd love to say this was new, but then I remember Thundercats, Transformers, GI Joe, My Little Pony, He-Man -- all shows that wouldn't have existed without their marketing tie ins. There was a moment when Geraldine Laybourne came into Nick with those first few Nicktoons (including Ren & Stimpy) when it seemed like there were finally going to be a couple kids shows that weren't about selling plastic. Unfortunately, these days the only place you can go for that is PBS. And that's getting worse too.

The only spot of hope, is that the kids can sometimes get something out of it anyway. I'm sure your kid's one who can, Max.

Hope your daughter likes the movie.

And by the way -- Napalm, you use the word "sheep" too often.


Napalm (Guest) on 02/05/2008 3:55 pm

I have no problem with television, heck I watched and watch a ton of it myself and have my whole life. But my parents told me to pound sand early on when I started whining for things (or my mother took a hand to me) and I learned real quickly not to whine and bitch like you see so many kids these days. Sure I watched Thundercats but I never had any of their toys. I had a good selection of Star Wars but I wasn't coddled and given anything and everything I wanted. It's called good parenting. Exercising limits and being the adult in the relationship with your kid.

So no, I'm not going to raise my kid like Nel, bereft of all media and stimulus, but I am going to educate them not to be a sheep and not to follow the herd for every little thing. In line with this I find it deplorable how kids are running around with cell phones texting their lives away. I'll be giving my kid a phone - one that calls home and the cops. What more does a kid really need?

Society these days - pffft. What a joke.

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mburbank on 02/05/2008 4:00 pm


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Ruinne on 02/05/2008 4:21 pm

"LOL,ok Napalm you've made your point. I think the main reason as to why so many people are defensive is cause you suggested that they sucked as parents...Anyway, let it go before you give Burbank a seizure and heart faliure combo."

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mburbank on 02/05/2008 4:28 pm

Seriously. Who knew there were so many I-mock readers with kids? I thought you were all pimply faced teenage boys living in your parents basements.
Color me surprised.

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Ruinne on 02/05/2008 4:41 pm

'...I thought you were all pimply faced teenage boys living in your parents basements...'

"Of course not!...I'm a girl and the basement's been deemed unlivable (yes that's a word)."

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KillerMcGee on 02/05/2008 4:43 pm

i don't intend to flame, but napalm, yeah good luck with teens.


Napalm (Guest) on 02/05/2008 4:59 pm

You are right Burbank, I am sorry for being such a jerk sometimes. It's just the angry talking. If you will excuse me now, it's time for my meds.

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mburbank on 02/05/2008 5:00 pm

It's okay. I like angry.

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Yaanu on 02/05/2008 5:36 pm

What I want to do is get on the show and totally mess with everyone's head until they kick me off (in which case I'll hijack the cutting room and send a spliced up reel of outtakes and raunchy language) or just give me the writing reigns (in which I will say "To Hell With It" and have Monty reveal her identity to the world via national television...

...only once this happens her dad gets sent to the ER via sniper, and the only way he can be healed is if Hanny makes a deal with Beelzebub to permanently eradicate her friendship with Lilith, as if it had never happened.)

Or something stupid like that. Just tell everyone already! What's the real point, if the writers knew anything about real high schoolers, they'd know we'd care for about eight minutes, or until the next fistfight.

Why exactly does she hide her identity, besides paparazzi? I never saw the pilot, and don't intend to. Hate that show...


ur luvving daughters (Guest) on 02/05/2008 6:30 pm

Cordie says...
Thank you daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank u 4 doing this 4 me!!!! I luv u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Luv Cordie

Theo says...
OMG that was so good! Ur such a good daddy! That John guy is a total creep! What is wrong with him??? Cordie must be a much better person than him!

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incognit000 on 02/05/2008 6:40 pm

Hannah Montana makes me vomit into my own mouth.

It's the most cruel manipulation of children's hopes, dreams and admiration I've ever seen.

At least when corporations manipulated me as a kid, I got Transformers and Ninja Turtles out of the deal.

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Christine d’Abo on 02/05/2008 6:44 pm

I had to tell my girls that we couldn't go because the nearest 3D theater was 3 hours away and we couldn't get tickets. It's hard for kids to understand the crap the marketing jerks put them through. I'm praying for DVD soon...cause you know there will be one.

And I have to agree with you about Miley. I just pray her Dad can help her keep her head where it needs to be and she survives her teenage stardom.


Parout (Guest) on 02/05/2008 7:10 pm

This made ME cry. D:


ColdFusion (Guest) on 02/05/2008 7:36 pm

I don't even understand the appeal of this.. What's this girl DO? Why are people DRESSING AS her for halloween?


Jimmy (Guest) on 02/05/2008 7:43 pm

Cordie says…
Thank you daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank u 4 doing this 4 me!!!! I luv u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Luv Cordie

Theo says…
OMG that was so good! Ur such a good daddy! That John guy is a total creep! What is wrong with him??? Cordie must be a much better person than him!


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simogene on 02/05/2008 8:05 pm

You're a credit to parents everywhere, Max...

And man am I glad I have a boy.

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Colonel Flagg on 02/05/2008 8:12 pm

Who would have thought sudh an innocent little piece concerning a pre-teen phenomenon would elicit such a huge response from the i-Mockery readership. Surprising, indeed.

BTW, Max, I absolutely love the fact your family weighed in on this thread.

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saturnknight on 02/05/2008 9:38 pm

wow, Max, i gotta say i'm used to your foolish comical antics, i know where you're coming from when it comes to a crying child, and i'm sure that your daughter will enjoy more Hannah Montana things, just be glad that the tickets weren't being sold my otherpeople for in the thousand dollar ranges. Seriously though, it shows how even the simplest of things to adults, can be so upsetting to children

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Jaimas on 02/05/2008 9:56 pm

Napalm, stop being a sanctimonious twit. This masterful article of Max's isn't about parenting, for Max, by his own article's admission, has done a fantastic job (as has, to my amusement, his delightful firebrand of a wife, whose comments you also gleefully ignored) - but rather, about the evils of corporate greed and cynical manipulation involved therein.

Max frames this situation, with no small bit of tongue-in-cheek and a slight twinge of dark humor, how such manipulation is specifically being done to fuck with common people with families and their lives.

If you can't see this, you've missed the entire point.

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fugmunky on 02/05/2008 10:10 pm

...i almost don't wanna have kids now....

hell with it, i'll get a wii instead....


Napalm (Guest) on 02/05/2008 10:30 pm

Napalm (Guest) on 02/05/2008 4:59 pm

You are right Burbank, I am sorry for being such a jerk sometimes. It’s just the angry talking. If you will excuse me now, it’s time for my meds.

I didn't say this - for the record. I stand by everything I said, and I think I just hit a nerve with certain people that visit this site that suck as parents. Not my fault - theirs. Also the snipe about 'good luck with teenagers' - protip if you didn't suck as a parent when they were younger they wouldn't be such fuckups now.

Toodles and peace to all.

Great site -

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Ruinne on 02/05/2008 11:18 pm

"Okkkayyy...Napalm nobody gives a flying fuck how you raise your kids. You have your way, they have theirs, there is no reason for you to critic that, or for them to critic yours. Let it go."

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Jigby Huggletinks on 02/05/2008 11:32 pm

NAPALM KNOWS ALL! You should write a book about raising your kids, or you could just rip off some RATM and Anti-Flag lyrics and call it the same.

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KillerMcGee on 02/06/2008 12:30 am

napalm, your'e such a sheepish sheepie-sheep

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Captain PirateFace on 02/06/2008 1:59 am

Fuck Hannah Montana....
She probably enjoys making little girls cry.....

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Wartain on 02/06/2008 3:02 am

is there any way to make it legal to shoot people like john? and I guess Max was right, i also thought most of this site's readers were teens and their little younger brothers trying to be cool by reading all the stuff biggies read. thats a personal story =D


ÜberGuy (Guest) on 02/06/2008 3:25 am

Do as I say! Don't be a sheep! Be a nonconformist, just like daddy!

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TheBigMan045 on 02/06/2008 5:03 am

Big corporations should be shot, with parents paying though the teeth for food, petrol, rent/mortgage and on the rare occasion themselves and still corprations still want money. They are saying to children that if they dont have XXXXX product they wont be cool (does anyone still use that? Cool?) im glad i never got those fad products and unconformist and BTW when i was younger i was addicted to tv

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Jigby Huggletinks on 02/06/2008 7:50 am

I think uberguy said it in the absolute best way possible just now.


SomeRandomIdiot (Guest) on 02/06/2008 7:59 am

What I find ironic is that at the bottom of this page in that Ads by Google thing, one of the ads is "Hannah Montana Store#Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana. Get the look of a teen Rock Star!"

I don't think she's a rock star. She's a so-called "pop-princess" but not a rockstar. I'm pretty sick of my local radio station playing "See You Again" every two songs.

Then again, and call me a hypocrite if you want, I love the show and some of the songs aren't too bad.


Napalm (Guest) on 02/06/2008 7:59 am

Ruinne and the rest of you clowns bagging on me - when I want your opinions, I'll give them to you. I was simply defending myself from some chump on here that logged in as me and tried to impersonate my awesomeness.

P.S. Don't forget to turn on your TV this morning! Might have to talk with Jr. instead of raising him! Maybe he can watch Finding Nemo for the 50000th time! That's stimulation!!


Dalten (Guest) on 02/06/2008 9:06 am

Man, the crazy things kids follow these days, I'm getting too old to understand these trends :P

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Aduross on 02/06/2008 9:43 am

Lessons on how to be a good parent:

1. If your child wants something tell them to shut up and deal with it. No one every gave you anything nice, why should they be happy?

2. If your child starts trying to think for themselves, intervene and make sure they're thinking what you think. Children aren't properly versed in developing personalities like adults are.

3. If someone is parenting in a different manner than you are, make sure to tell them what a horrible parent they are and how their child is controlling them. Then go on and on about how you would parent their child (which is the correct way). If anyone disagrees with you, repeat your point in a derisive and sarcastic manner until they give and up and go away.

I realize I'm beating a dead horse here, but I just wanted to give my two cents. :P Nice article, Max. Though I haven't the faintest clue who Hannah Montana is.

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mburbank on 02/06/2008 10:04 am

Ha ha. I like you Aduross!

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Colonel Flagg on 02/06/2008 10:20 am

It's like watching a 16 car pileup on the interstate - I can't help but reread this thread. (I know - I need professional help!)

If Mr. Napalm is concerned about people impersonating him, he should join the forum, which would make it far more difficult.

Aduross - no worries about beating the dead horse; everyone else is too. Sooner or later it's bound to get back up again, right?


Madface (Guest) on 02/06/2008 10:44 am

I personally hate disney channel and despise Hannah Montana...but I'll be damned if I've never felt the same way your daughter does. When I still but an innocent and naive child I fell in love with all kinds of marketing ploys manufactured by big wigs only to be heartbroken in the end. Unlike your daughter however i never had the support and understanding of my parents. Quite frankly my mom told me to suck it up and sit the fuck down and my dad just wasn't their but probably would have said the same damn thing. Fathers...nay...parents like you are what keep kids from being pawns to the entertainment biz they help embolden children so that they'll know better when their older than to buy into the mind-manipulating money vaccum of the media. Good for you man...good for you.

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KillerMcGee on 02/06/2008 12:24 pm

aduross said it best! although he will probably call you a bad parent now. I think we may have "struck a nerve" hope he gets all defensive and makes an idiotic reply again. those are my favorite.


Andy Grilz (Guest) on 02/06/2008 1:12 pm


You tease and promise me with all the supposed funny on the site, and then I FINALLY get around to reading it...and instead of the funny, what do I find?

Searing, relevant, painfully accurate social commentary. And a pic of a crushed Cordy, looking so sad that I want to run to your house with ice cream and a puppy.

Damn you, Burbank, Damn you!!!!

(Excellent stuff, bro. Well spoken. Cordy should still get ice cream, though.)


MC Mandi (Guest) on 02/06/2008 1:38 pm


that made my little heart break. It's probably the raging hormones from being pregnant..or it could be the fact that Hannah Montana also breaks my heart on a recurring basis..

Either way, big thumbs up Monsieur Burbank!!

Kids can't ALWAYS be raised with constant and neverending 24 hour a day interaction from parents. We have to go to work..come home..make supper..make sure that everything is ready to go for the next morning. And then we spend time with our kids. So if it means a bit of cartoons in the afternoon, or a bit of Miley Cyrus after supper then so be it!

My training is in Social Work..especially the child development area of counselling and intervention. A happy kid is a kid brought up with love, attention, boundaries and careful consideration on things that make them happy. Allowing a child to watch a tv show that they like, isn't a bad thing. It isn't turning them into young corporate's allowing them some freedom to do what we adults do when they're not around. Chill and relax by doing what we enjoy best.

Besides...who are you to tell anyone how to raise their kids. If they're well mannered and happy then isn't that a huge accomplishment within itself??

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Ramco on 02/06/2008 1:40 pm

I'm still not even to your point of reasoning, Mr. Burbank, because I could never get over the fact that real artists who put their heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears into their music are ignored, yet a celebrity that is a work of complete fiction is the biggest rock star on planet Earth.

That's why I'm creating a completely fake character that will race up the charts because I mass-market this character like there's no tomorrow. Since the state-name thing worked so well for Hannah, I think I'll call myself Indiana Jones.

I guess Rog/the Squirrel Nut Zippers are right - "Talent, vigor, drive, you'll eat peanut butter the rest of your life."


MC Mandi (Guest) on 02/06/2008 4:26 pm


I’m still not even to your point of reasoning, Mr. Burbank, because I could never get over the fact that real artists who put their heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears into their music are ignored, yet a celebrity that is a work of complete fiction is the biggest rock star on planet Earth.

are we forgetting the fact that HE'S not the one who's interested in Hannah Montana, it's his daughter..which one would assume is far to young to really enjoy the artists who work their way up to the top.

I appreciate the lesser known artists, myself, but I don't snub those who's tastes aren't as mine are. Especially when they're little girls. Especially when it's a father who doesn't want to see his little girl cry.

Don't be a music snob...


Doctorworm (Guest) on 02/06/2008 5:10 pm

welll.. mabye the answer isn't to pout and write nasty letters but to wonder why you're nurturing feelings of sadness over the commercial entity you say you despise.. why don't you try making your daughter understand that commercials aren't worth crying over. this is your fault not Hannah Montanas


Chris (Guest) on 02/06/2008 5:20 pm

It must be a regional thing, because I had no difficulty securing tickets for me and both of my daughters to see the film. I bought my tickets online last Thursday for a Saturday afternoon show without any problems.

A friend of ours has a sister in Miami who also couldn't find tickets in her area.

Having sat through the film (which both daughters loved), I have to say I was impressed w/ Ms. Cyrus's singing abilities. She does have a nice voice, once you can get past the fact that she is the Spawn of Cyrus.

Oh, and the lady seated next to us was ejected from the theater for recording the movie on her cell phone. It was a pleasant backdrop to the evening.


rusty (Guest) on 02/06/2008 5:30 pm

Hannah Montana -will be the next britney spews - I bet.

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Ruinne on 02/06/2008 5:34 pm

"...Napalm you misunderstood my meaning. I was basically saying that everyone is gonna disagree with you no matter what you say and that they're also pissed because of how you said it, it was rude. Well everyone exept for Jigby Huggletinks who by the way has one of the best nick names I've ever heard..."


Gnomie (Guest) on 02/06/2008 5:48 pm

Wow, I thought the letter was very well established.

I am parent to 3 wonderful kids. One who loves Hannah Miley Montana Cyrus. I think as we grow older, we forget what it was like to have dreams and aspirations. And as we parent sometimes, instead of doing what is right for our children, we rely on what we were taught. As kids. And if we really really think about it, sometimes it wasn't all that great.

I parent one way and one way only, I do my best to provide for my kids the things I never had, and raise them with the understanding and responsibility that one day they will be adults, and will be judged by their actions.

Good letter.


WFern (Guest) on 02/06/2008 6:07 pm

Yikes. At seven, you really should begin teaching this child the difference between fantasy and reality. The fact that you're willing and hopeful for this delusion to extend so long as possible is rather irreponsible.

A responsible parent would also advocate the notion that you can't always get what you crave. Not to allow the sobbing to continue, only to blame an actress to whom you have no attachment is rather low.

Forgive me, but I'm also monumentally skeptical of the claims that your daughter made such worthy volunteer efforts... without your input and insistence.


sentimentalsoftie (Guest) on 02/06/2008 6:32 pm

Wow. I'm a grown man, with no children (that you can prove) and that just made me cry. I'm so inspired by this. Blessings to you.


Disco (Guest) on 02/06/2008 7:07 pm

I am going to guess that Napalm had a very unhappy childhood...and would apply his namesake to his parents' home if given the chance.


XNtr3k (Guest) on 02/06/2008 7:14 pm

Wow, that almost made me cry.
Almost, but its a little hard to tear up when you see that crazy, atomic-green avatar picture glaring at you from the title of the article.


Napalm (Guest) on 02/06/2008 7:15 pm

I'm guessing, Disco, that you don't know me from a hole in a ground, but good work with the assumptions. I'm sitting here laughing at all the defensive people in this thread. My my did I hit a nerve or what? Let me guess, you don't like that I called you out on your whiny kid running your life? Or was it perhaps the nerve I struck when the TV is more instrumental to their upbringing than the people that made the little rugrat?

Truth hurts I know, I just didn't realize it would bring this many tears out and from so many different people.

Don't waste time writing on the internet, I think Jr. needs his DVD changed to the second DVD he watches over and over to placate him because he is in the way of 'your life' and 'your important adult things'.

I look around at most of you clowns in public and cringe. First because you are breathing my air, and second because you made a whole brood of flesh turds that are just like you - wasted space.

Now run along and go heat up some instant fattening food, lord knows it'd be too much to ask to prepare a proper diet for Jr. Much easier to get them hooked on McDonald's then wonder why they get made fun of when they weigh 110 at the age of 9.


merlinheir (Guest) on 02/06/2008 7:29 pm

First of all, I can't help but laugh at how much Hannah Montana rubbish you actually bought the girl for christmas, good girl or not, you're spoiling her.
Now what is even funnier for me is you AND your wife sit infront of your computer waiting for someone ( mainly teens ) to say something which you disapprove of so you can have the last say.
I'm sure you guys thing you're great parents, no doubt your daughter is a sweetheart, but get over the fact that your little snowflake will sometimes cry about stupid stuff and don't be so melodramatic about it .


AntiNapalm (Guest) on 02/06/2008 7:29 pm

What a classless piece of work this Napalm fella is. Smug, arrogant and delusional. I really feel sorry for his children (if indeed he or she has any).


Napalm (Guest) on 02/06/2008 7:42 pm

AntiNapalm how cute. Did it take you all day to get this creative and original or do you have a team of monkeys working around the clock on this? And even though laced with sarcasm which makes for an interesting read please specifically point out where in anything I have said I am a bad parent? Is it the part where I don't give my kids everything they want? Oh I know, the part where I want to interact with them instead of raising them with a TV? Oh, my bad, must be the other part where I advocate a good diet and parental control over a childs every whim and fancy.

Yeah, I must be the worst parent ever. Looking out for my kids best interests, trying to raise them with a brain and not some slave to media. Heavens, call CPS I might even force down a well balanced meal in my quest to become worst parent ever.


Xeno (Guest) on 02/06/2008 7:52 pm

Evidently, the corporate drones responsible for the Hannah Montana business plan have read "Jennifer Government" - and taken the wrong message from it.

Also evidently, quite a few people are offended by the notion that they should ever, under any circumstances, tell their child "no."

My son can manage, I suspect, if he grows up the way I did; he can go to any event he can save up enough money to attend - prior to "job age" an allowance is fine - and he can have reasonably priced toys.

I utterly refuse to pay the incredible prices some of these companies want for their products and events. You're welcome to spend $1500+ for a single ticket to a concert, if you so choose; I'm happy for you, that you have that kind of disposable income.

My opinion, and strictly that, is that your child can't use that as a lesson in the value of things, and the meaning of value as a personal referent; they might find that lesson to be useful in later life.

You're welcome to disagree, as you no doubt will; but honestly, I am eagerly awaiting someone providing me with a rational argument as to why paying that much for a concert ticket is in any way a good idea, and beneficial for the child.

I doubt anyone will.

I expect a good degree of "how dare you tell me how to raise my child," despite my having said no such thing.


LtDarkstar (Guest) on 02/06/2008 8:18 pm

WAHHHHHH!!!! Stop your whining. You know - tickets DO sell out for popular movies, it happens, it's life - GET OVER IT! I waited in line for tickets numerous times for hours only to not get a ticket because some scalper a few people ahead of me bought them all. Unfortunately many theaters don't enforce a maximum ticket policy (not in my town at least). GET OVER IT, your darling little precious will get to see the dumb movie. Maybe you can TEACH her something about life in the process -- maybe in the meantime spend some quality family time with her, hmmm?

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mobo85 on 02/06/2008 8:22 pm

"She didn’t understand that while Miley Cyrus is a real person, a girl just a little older than she is with a father who dotes on her, Hannah isn’t real. Hannah is a product someone owns. Hannah Montana can be packaged and manipulated and campaigned and sold in whatever way the corporation that owns her thinks will increase her market value."

You don't know Disney very well, do you? They can market their human characeters as well as their animated ones- and Hannah/Miley is part of that.


jim (Guest) on 02/06/2008 8:59 pm

so what !!! i had a childhood that charles dickens and steven king combined couldn't imagine,your child is very lucky already. she realizes it, do you?

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mburbank on 02/06/2008 9:36 pm

I don't know. I just feel like you guys aren't taking this seriously enough.This sure is a long thread, though, so that's good.


MC Mandi (Guest) on 02/06/2008 10:02 pm


I look around at most of you clowns in public and cringe. First because you are breathing my air, and second because you made a whole brood of flesh turds that are just like you - wasted space.

Now run along and go heat up some instant fattening food, lord knows it’d be too much to ask to prepare a proper diet for Jr. Much easier to get them hooked on McDonald’s then wonder why they get made fun of when they weigh 110 at the age of 9.

aww look everybody...Jesus DID come back! And he's posting on I-Mockery! He's more like us common folk than I thought.

Firstly..I am not so mean spirited to find the fact that people who I don't agree with so morally repugnant that I begrudge the air that they share with me. Or the fact that they choose to pro-create and pass on the ideals that you find so laughable. I'm not upset that you're breathing the same air as me. And, by the you even have kids? Cause if you don't then it's a bit naive to suggest what you WOULD do. And if you do then I'm sure they are going to grow up to be great little anti-society anarchists. As long as they don't beat my kids up for lunch money, we're going to be just fine.

Secondly..we're all guilty of preparing some "instant fattening food" mostly because we're real people with real jobs with not much time to good properly balanced three times a day, every day of the week. We may be able to do it a good majority of the time, but no one's matter how you proclaim yourself to be. And isn't that beyond the subject of how this little girl just wants to see someone she enjoys watching on a larger scale? Aren't you taking this a BIT too far?

Children aren't supposed to be tiny adults, or clones of their parents. And parents aren't supposed to be a shield to protect their children from completely benign television programs and the occasional hamburger from McDonald's. There are SO many worse things to be concerned about. If Hannah Montana and Happy Meals truly make you so concerned, then you should probably take yourself and your brood to the nearest deserted cabin in the woods and forage for food in the wilderness that sustains you. Anything other than that would be absolutely harmful.

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Colonel Flagg on 02/06/2008 10:28 pm

Did I say 16 car pileup? More like two trains colliding at 100 mph into two tanker cars, one loaded with caustic soda, the other with sulfuric acid.

In a word, boom.

But in a good way.

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Ruinne on 02/06/2008 11:14 pm

*Looks up at thread* "My God Burbank what have you done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

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Aduross on 02/07/2008 12:08 am

First of all I'm quite honored to have made a good impression with the esteemed Max Burbank. ^_^

Second of all, XD. Gotta love how every insulting post is a "Guest." Nothing like anonymity, am I right?

Third of all, jeeze this is what happens when you don't make the humor so obvious it excises itself from the computer and proceeds to beat the viewer in the head with the punchline. Better switch to jokes involving doling out wanton violence and potty humor because it seems this went over numerous peoples' heads. :P


SAMIAM (Guest) on 02/07/2008 12:10 am

If this is the worst that ever happens to your daughter - BE GLAD!!!!


Lord God (Guest) on 02/07/2008 12:20 am

Good article my son
But you may be interested to know that Hanna Montana is Lucifer's bastard child.

have a good day

Your savior, Jesus Christ

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Ruinne on 02/07/2008 12:48 am

"Wow. I've been looking for God all my life and here he is on the internet. HI GOD! WOOOOT!"

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Nick on 02/07/2008 1:00 am

Disney loves tears. :(

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JakeOfAllTrades on 02/07/2008 1:15 am

As a teenager with no experience of children apart from the small kids my Dad's employee has, this was an interesting article. We are concerned that our children will be mindless drones, but at the same time, what children may be wanting is to experience what their friends are doing, albeit in a less harmful way than peer pressure. Good work Max, for writing an article that really made me think about modern parenting!


Cyan blue parakeet (Guest) on 02/07/2008 1:56 am

I generally don't like Max's articles. Not like they are bad, but more like they just don't tune with me.
However, I had a very good feeling reading this.
I hope your daughter enjoys that movie!.


Keith (Guest) on 02/07/2008 3:29 am

For a web site that valourizes Madballs, comics, transformers (plus movie), rom hacks of mindless games (many of us) played as children, Muscles, and whatnot, who are these people critical of Hannah Montana? Are our stupid childhood delights somehow superior to a harmless girl that sings and dances? Oh please don't arrest me, cool police!

Frankly, if you visit this site, you should also make sure your kids get every popular game, watch anime or whatever the popular cartoons of the day are, play with every expensive toy you can afford, AND (male or female) follow Ms. Cyrus religiously. Otherwise this site will have no reason to exist in 20 years.

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Tetsu Deinonychus on 02/07/2008 3:32 am

To Colonel Flagg: I'm with you buddy!

This is like watching the Hindenburg crash into the Titanic!


ND (Guest) on 02/07/2008 3:38 am

I don't know why the individuals who suggested parents do their best to cut children off from the garbage in the media are getting such heated responses. While growing up, my parents let us watch TV for 1 hour on Sunday nights-- it could either be 60 minutes or the Simpsons. There was a code on the TV otherwise, and in the car all they'd listen to was NPR. Sure, in my teen years I went to friends houses and got exposed to what else is out there, but I found most of it so distasteful considering much of my childhood had been spent with family, running around in the backyard or playing board games with friends.

I'm now 24 years old, a second year med student at UCSF, and very much so socially adjusted (plenty of friends and definitely enjoy going out when we get a break!) I'm not saying that well-adjusted success is possible only through the lack of media, but living my childhood in the real world undoubtedly contributed to who I am today, mature, forward-thinking, and aware of the outside world and the real problems our generation faces.

So before writing off "media-starvation" as a fascist-like parenting policy, keep in mind children will be able to have fun and enjoy themselves in almost any situation, whether it be playing soccer on a barren Nigerian field or running outside in the sprinklers at a suburban home. The real question is, do you want the fun your kids have and the happiness they experience to be sustainable or fictional? You take your kid to Disneyland (or in this case, to a highly anticipated Hannah Montana movie), and it just sets the bar to an unrealistic high...

Sustainable happiness is finding that joie de vivre within oneself...


Sal (Guest) on 02/07/2008 3:56 am

Gotta teach'em young how to consume corporate palp. Nothing more vital and defining in a child's life than vapid marketing caricatures.


homor (Guest) on 02/07/2008 4:32 am

holy hell i think i cried abit.


Blaster Atoms (Guest) on 02/07/2008 5:11 am

I love how that Napalm dude seemed to be sitting there for like a whole day guarding the topic, watching for his name to come up, like some kind of caricature of the internet troll. Some people seem to think they have to express themselves with as much hostility for others as possible...

Mr. Burbank, I salute you for a well thought out and organized rant. I can recall the hell my own parents went through making things as happy for us kids as possible. It seems like nowadays, life's bitter angry sadistic reality comes crashing down on kids faster than ever. Why not try to keep them reasonably happy and innocent for just a little while? At least it gives them something to compare real life's never-ending torrent of horseshit to...


Keith (Guest) on 02/07/2008 5:16 am

Worst kids to baby-sit when growing up: the kids whose parents put them in a truly fictional world where they couldn't watch tv, were forced to listen to NPR, and didn't know what ice cream was until they were 12. Not a far stretch from the Flanders. Typically I was forced to masturbate on their cat out of boredom- after the kids went to bed of course.

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Desert_Screams on 02/07/2008 9:12 am

A very different side of you on display here, Max. I know we're in no danger of losing you to the Hallmark Company, but damn, it's nice to see this part of you, too. Very well thought out and (as everyone else and their third cousin has put it) touching piece here.

But who the eff is Hannah Montana?


CA_rock (Guest) on 02/07/2008 10:08 am

After reading this train-wreck of a posting I feel the need to speak up as well.

I too was a "media starved" kid. My parents divorced when I was very young and most of my childhood was spent with my mother and step-father. We had a litle (4" sony black and white) TV that we gathered around as a family and watched Masterpiece Theater on Sunday's or the occasional "Zoom", "Electric Company" or early "Sesame Street". It was PBS or nothing. As I got older and older I came to realize the joys of television and now and a TV junkie. I love how much you can watch, but I find myself as an adult watching endless hours of entertaining stuff on the History Channel, Discovery, and other similar channels. I have 3 boys (aged 7 to 3) who watch TV when time allows (after homework but before dinner, or on weekend mornings). I do watch what they watch as well. Some of that is to make sure what they are watching is something I approve of, and some of it is to make it "quality time" as well. I can talk to them about their shows, and do, so they ge tmore out of it than just the intrinsic entertainment. Even the goofiest of shows nowadays still has some educational value if you show your kids how/where to look for it.

For those "haters" out there, my kids do want the latest "things", but understand that they cannot have it all. Those things they want that they don't get for birthdays or other special occasions they can purchase with their allowance. When they do their chores, behave properly when necessary, they earn an allowance. This gives them a sense of financial responsibility, as well as an opportunity to choose carefully what they spend their own money on. I have found that this works wonders on eliminating the constant "I need this", and gives them a chance to be responsible.

My kids enjoy watching my shows almost as much as I like to watch theirs. Napalm has it right in teh sense that as parents we do need to spend time with our kids, rather than plop them in front of a TV while we go about our own lives. But TV can be a part of that interaction as well.

Thanks Max for a great post and dialog.


Napalm (Guest) on 02/07/2008 10:11 am

CA_Rock you sound just about right as far as a good parent goes. Props


Napalm (Guest) on 02/07/2008 10:12 am

Oh, and Blaster Atoms - checking a thread I participated in and responding to attacks and comments directed at me isn't trolling. It's called participating in an argument and defending myself. Seems like after my last defense none of the haters have much to say - because I'm right.

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mburbank on 02/07/2008 10:19 am

I love you all. Especially those of you who allowed your nuts to get in a vise over this. One hundred and four responses. If anyone ever figures out how to turn this into money they have to tell me because if you think all that Hannah Montana junk is expensive, you need to take a look at my metaphetamine bills. Seriously.

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mburbank on 02/07/2008 10:31 am

PS: I love you Napalm. I want to man marry you and let you make the kids choices for me and mine too. We could be like the Brady Bunch except without Carol, and with one of the Mikes being more masterful. Together we could whip these haters into shape, with you doing all the whipping and me just kind of watching and glowing.OH I am GETTING ALL SWOONY NOW, SOMEBODY PINCH ME!!


Napalm (Guest) on 02/07/2008 10:33 am

As long as I'm not 'the catcher' you got a deal.

I'll pinch you, but you have to buy me dinner first. I'm not 'that kind' of internet guy.

Spankfully yours...



Sal (Guest) on 02/07/2008 11:26 am

Exactly! Nothing funnier than your child's formative years. I agree. Maybe you can find a way to harness her life in some way and generate page clicks. Cheers to you. I think everyone should ante up and show how other proletarians raise their young.

mburbank on 02/07/2008 10:19 am

I love you all. Especially those of you who allowed your nuts to get in a vise over this.

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mburbank on 02/07/2008 11:39 am



Lord God (Guest) on 02/07/2008 2:12 pm

Man shall not fornicate with man.... unless I can watch.
And I am always watching :)

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Chojin on 02/07/2008 2:35 pm







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Ramco on 02/07/2008 3:31 pm

I love how polarized everybody's opinions are, as if you can either let kids watch all the TV they want and buy them everything they whine for, or keep them completely sheltered and bland. Here's an idea, and it's a new concept in parenting - the word "no". Just say it every once in a while, so that your kids know you're in charge. Just pick random times to use it, when they least expect it. That'll get your kids used to disappointment and will undoubtedly save you a ton of money.


Napalm (Guest) on 02/07/2008 4:21 pm

Don't forget to take your man child (if you have one) to the new Rambo movie to ensure they don't catch 'the gay'. Seeing the visceral carnage will be sure to tip them towards the heterosexual side of things and ensure you will be playing catch with them instead of wondering why they like handbags so much. Added bonus if you had a daughter, and wish you had a son, take her to see it and more than likely she will turn into a boy by the end of it so you finally get what you want.

Be warned as an adult, I went through puberty a second time when I watched the movie... which was interesting, but well worth it.


steveo (Guest) on 02/07/2008 4:27 pm

Wow, you can't find the cash to take your sweet 7 year old to a friggin' movie? But you have the ability to upload a whining letter on a blog? What a joke. Wake up and smell corporate America knuckleheads.


Napalm (Guest) on 02/07/2008 4:44 pm

Welcome Steveo to the group, he can't read so be nice everyone.

"Hi Steveo"

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mburbank on 02/07/2008 4:52 pm

What is this now, the Napalm show? Get your own column.

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Ruinne on 02/07/2008 5:12 pm

"Hi Steveo."

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Pub Lover on 02/07/2008 5:39 pm

You're a funny guy & seemingly a good dad, Mister Max!

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Pandajuice on 02/07/2008 6:32 pm

Theories are one thing, but until you actually have a child and try to (the operative word there is "Try") raise them how you think they should be raised, you don't know dick about kids.

I had my theories too and had all but a day by day list of how my kid would grow up. 2 days later, I threw that list out and have been flying by the seat of my pants since then. The sooner you realize who is really in charge and that your dominance over your child is only a thin veil of lies, the better your relationship with your child will be.


mom (Guest) on 02/07/2008 8:04 pm

cough * bootleg *

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Protoclown on 02/07/2008 9:09 pm

The most shocking thing to me about this thread is finding out that Hannah Montanna is related to Billy Ray Cyrus.

My god...

Oh, and Napalm makes me laugh. But not in a good way. For him.


Lord God (Guest) on 02/07/2008 11:38 pm

Hannah Montanna is related to Bill Ray..WTF.

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mburbank on 02/08/2008 10:28 am

This Blog installement got listed on Fark. There have been almost 15,000 hits. I shit you not. Almost ALL of the 120 some odd comments are along the lines of Napalm. About four people either noticed the name of the site is I-Mockery or that I stated I was a comedy writer in the first paragraph. Everybody else pro or con (95% con) took the whole thing entirely seriously, despite the tone, despite the photoshopped picture of Hannah banishing Cordelia.

The Internets is a very hilarious place.


steve smashstuff (Guest) on 02/08/2008 11:26 am

amusingly enough, I thought Hannah Montana was something to do with porn before I read this article. Sort of like 'Debbie Does Dallas' or something. Then again, I am a foreigner and not to be trusted...

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Colonel Flagg on 02/08/2008 12:23 pm

The only thing left is for you to get an e-mail from W. Disney Productions, Inc. instructing you to cease and desist this defamation of their caricature (Hannah, not Miley née Destiny) immediately. If this happens, it would almost be worthy of a site all its own.

Note to RoG - it looks as if the 2008 site redesign is generating a bit more web traffic, and a bit more user activity, no?

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Colonel Flagg on 02/08/2008 1:38 pm

I just visited - of the 120 responses, my favorite is also one of the shortest...

"I still think it's satire."

Gee, whatever gave you that idea!


Napalm (Guest) on 02/08/2008 1:52 pm

I knew it was comedy and satire when I posted, I was merely making a social commentary on the society that bred the satire in the first place, and the problems that it has with parenting.

Glad your site got more traffic though, and too funny about

Hopefully anyone that didn't know this was comedy doesn't procreate. LOL


Napalm (Guest) on 02/08/2008 1:53 pm is a total mess. Can you post the link to the thread on this?

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mburbank on 02/08/2008 1:56 pm

There is some very freaky crap in the Fark thread.

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Colonel Flagg on 02/08/2008 2:08 pm

Yes, some of the photos are NSFW


Napalm (Guest) on 02/08/2008 3:26 pm

Man what idiots. LOL This is hilarious. Thanks for the link Max.

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Cosmo Electrolux on 02/08/2008 3:46 pm

Great article, Max...and you know what?
I totally got it...

Your buddy,


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Chojin on 02/08/2008 4:38 pm

fark is full of experts on life. they study it from afar, you see.

they're more objective that way.

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Cosmo Electrolux on 02/08/2008 5:28 pm

I was going to say...consider the source. Fark and attract some of the biggest piles of shit on the internet....

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Tetsu Deinonychus on 02/08/2008 6:23 pm

Chaos, beautiful, beautiful chaos!

I love it.

I hope this somehow leads to a public apology on the Disney channel by Miley Cyrus. That would be too funny for words.

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JakeOfAllTrades on 02/09/2008 6:39 am

I have had a childhood untouched by Hannah Montana. This is because I didn't have the Disney Channel as a kid, we had Saturday Disney on free to air TV instead. To be fair, there were a few good shows Disney made, but from what I've seen of their recent stuff, only Pixar seems to be making good stuff in the Disney department.

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Ruinne on 02/09/2008 12:24 pm

"Hmm, I hope Napalm realizes that the Disney people are probably going to try to assasinate him now. 'Its' a small world after all' indeed."

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Pentegarn on 02/09/2008 2:25 pm

"Posted by Chojin on 02/08/2008 4:38 pm

fark is full of experts on life. they study it from afar, you see.

they’re more objective that way."

May I quote this in my sig? It is just too spot on!

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-RoG- on 02/09/2008 3:08 pm

This discussion is now being continued here in Max's latest blog post. Please post any future responses there to ensure that they will be seen.


Fallout911 (Guest) on 02/17/2008 3:41 pm

I do not have a child to take care of but I will one day.
And I will always teach that child that trends are for losers and that she/he should always try to break from following them.


ALEJANDRO (Guest) on 03/15/2008 10:29 pm



Adi krauthammer (Guest) on 03/30/2008 7:41 pm

Hey Ms Montana aka Miley Cyrus
I am Adi Krauthammer I live in Gainesville FL
and am looking for a buddy


LOVE2SMILE (Guest) on 08/02/2008 2:28 pm

Max, Thank you for writing his letter you are so right!!! I hope u keep writing on important issues.


LOVE2SMILE (Guest) on 08/02/2008 2:30 pm



Miley Destiny Hope Cyrus (Guest) on 01/20/2010 10:13 pm

Hi, Its Miley/Hannah Montana
I was very touched when I read this
I was about to cry when I read this
I never have noticed little girls like your daughter, can actually feel like this
Rob Reiner, The creater of my show Hannah Montana was looking for a girl. I went to audtiton for the first time in 2004 then I kept on coming and coming until 2005... Miley Stewarts name was suppose to be Zoey but they used my real name MILEY
On the first episode Hannah wasnt famous
BUT at the end of Season 1 and the beggining of Season 2 My story started here
I had my first concert... I thought that not much people knew who Hannah was
Ask I came up to that stage.. I heard the loudest screams I have ever heard it must've been the biggest concert I have went to this is part of the beggining on becoming more and more famous
a month later... Hannah starting selling things...
Shirts,Dolls,Pants,Hats,Shoes,Wig,Lipstick,Bracelet,Necklace anything you can think of
But me MILEY CYRUS has NOT noticed this before

I am disspointed/hurted and depressed that I broke a little fans heart

Tell your daughter
to keep believing
to catch her dream
tell her that " Hannah " said:
Im Just Like You

Sincerely, Miley Destiny Hope Cyrus :-)


Samuel Johnson (Guest) on 07/09/2010 7:20 am

Miley really got her singing talent from Billy Ray Cyrus, no doubt about it..~*


Cooper Foster (Guest) on 07/09/2010 8:27 am

Miley really got her singing talent from Billy Ray Cyrus, no doubt about it.:.`


ashly (Guest) on 07/27/2013 9:30 pm



ashly (Guest) on 07/27/2013 9:33 pm

GO HANNA GO HANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


maddie hess (Guest) on 01/30/2014 3:33 pm

I wrote to Hannah Montana and she is real and she will write back to me. so there! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

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