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Badass Cute Cartoon Characters? Um, No.


So my roommate picked up Super Smash Bros. Brawl last week, and he and I have been kicking each others' asses for a good week now. Hell, we've even played the game some too, and it's a lot of fun, if you like those kind of games. But here's what I can't get over: Every time in the single player game that you get to a new character intro screen, they try to strike some kind of "badass" pose when it freezes on their still image and their name appears on the screen beneath them.

Now, for some characters this is perfectly fine. Ganondorf is a hardcore motherfucker, so he can look badass all he wants. Same with Samus, or Solid Snake. But it's when "cutesy" characters like Pikachu, Kirby, or Mario try to strike some kind of supercool badass pose that I can't help but laugh my ass off. Does anyone else have a hard time buying it when Jigglypuff decides to throw off the kid gloves and put on a mean face that shows how much he means business?

But don't mistake me, it doesn't detract from my enjoyment of the game. Not in the slightest. If anything it makes me enjoy the game more because of how much funnier I find everything. I just wanted to know if anyone else was thinking the same thing I was here.


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Ashmodai on 03/24/2008 12:34 pm

I can't take Kirby seriously at all. He's like a big pink marshmallow.

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flyboy1945 on 03/24/2008 12:47 pm

they didnt have dr.mario in this 1......which really pisses me off

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meushy on 03/24/2008 1:05 pm

no doctor mario... but the game is still one of the best smash fest i have played in years.. still something oddly therapeutic about kicking pikachu around

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calavera on 03/24/2008 1:14 pm

as england fails, i wont be able to get ssbb 'legaly' for about 6 months yet!

thank you very much every europian country who cant speak fluant english for making my games more expencive and take forver to translate!

...mnea, ill just import it and be happy :P

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-RoG- on 03/24/2008 1:15 pm

I know almost everybody loves Smash Bros., but that's one of those series that I was never able to get into. I do have high hopes for the new Mario Kart game that's coming out for the Wii next month, but it's gonna be damned hard to top that last Mario Kart DS game.

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Coryjonc on 03/24/2008 1:23 pm

^ Man Double Dash for the GC was the best Mario Kart ever made. I'm kinda upset that Nintendo is scraping the whole coop idea for MK Wii.

But yea, the worst character in Brawl is Pit. Everything about him is just stupid. I can't take him seriously at all.

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King Credo on 03/24/2008 1:26 pm

I played it for like 8 hours trying to finish that adventure mode. I saw when they introduced Sonic and he was kicking that Tabuu thing's ass. It then told me to pick 6 characters and I'm thinking that since Sonic just shattered this powerful God-like guy's wings effortlessly he'd do most of the work. He got hit once and died.
And has anyone else noticed that characters that were good in melee now suck? Mario, DK and Kirby used to be untouchable but they can barely last 1 minute without dying in brawl.


Skate (Guest) on 03/24/2008 1:52 pm

I just want to say.

I could kick your asses with Olimar any day of the week. (Except maybe Tuesday)

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comhcinc on 03/24/2008 1:57 pm

i hate the wii. i refuse to moving anything but my thumbs when i play video games.

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Angryhydralisk on 03/24/2008 2:16 pm

I'm jealous. And yes, it's nice to meet you all.

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Jigby Huggletinks on 03/24/2008 2:27 pm

Two words, comhcinc: shoulder buttons?

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rizzo on 03/24/2008 2:43 pm

"And has anyone else noticed that characters that were good in melee now suck? Mario, DK and Kirby used to be untouchable but they can barely last 1 minute without dying in brawl."
Meh, they nerfed Ness after the first one and the series has sucked huge balls ever since.

"i hate the wii. i refuse to moving anything but my thumbs when i play video games."
You should see my friends scream at me because I refuse to stand up while playing any Wii game, yet still kick their asses. It's no fun if you don't get into it my ass...if I want to stand up and swing a baseball bad, I'll go outside and swing a damn baseball bat.

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JJ the Jetplane on 03/24/2008 2:59 pm

I still haven't gotten SSBB cuz i am young and jobless... i don't even have any friends who own the game, cuz all my friends are 360 addictined to the point of it being ridiculous. I just wanna know one thing...
Smash attacks: Innovative, or annoying? They seem like an interesting new feature, but you guys tell me.

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Aura Fox on 03/24/2008 4:10 pm

I believe i prefer above all of them Link because alls he does is grunt and has the gloriously cheap spin attack.


mlvassallo (Guest) on 03/24/2008 4:17 pm

You just don't fuck with the jigglypuff.

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BeatlesLover on 03/24/2008 4:30 pm

I like how they didn't try to force motion control into this game. It works in Endless Ocean, it doesn't work in SSBB.

Also, nothing is more fun then the expression on my friend's face when I kick his butt with Olimar as he uses his old, favorite, and now hilariously nerfed characters. Like Kirby.


anthony (Guest) on 03/24/2008 4:54 pm

Not so much the victory poses but when I see Charizard clapping in the background like a retard I can't help but crack up.

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Magic Flyin’ Lemur on 03/24/2008 5:03 pm

You don't like Super Smash Bros., RoG?

I feel bad for you on the same level that I feel bad for those kids that can't feel pain so they have to live in a bubble so they don't kill themselves accidentally.

Super Smash Bros. is one of the few fighting games I've ever actually enjoyed. And Kirby is hardcore, dammit.

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-RoG- on 03/24/2008 5:32 pm

I dunno, when it comes to fighting games I'd much rather play something like Samurai Showdown (Go Ukyo!) than Super Smash Bros. I do, however, appreciate that they included R.O.B. in the new game, just like they had him as an unlockable character in Mario Kart DS.

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flyboy1945 on 03/24/2008 6:11 pm

ive played as r.o.b and he is pretty good even tho i suck with him also pokeymon should have never been included in this game espesially pockeymon trainer

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Burn on 03/24/2008 6:31 pm

i have nothing clever to say

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Ozzie on 03/24/2008 7:43 pm

Samurai Shodown is absolute gold, no doubt about it, but SSBB is an interesting take on fighting games, focusing on ring outs over knockouts.

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Nick on 03/24/2008 8:13 pm

I loved it when they threw on their hardcore faces.

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KillerMcGee on 03/24/2008 8:17 pm

smash bros is the only fighting franchise i play, i loved it when it was new and i love it still.

and super mario kart for snes was the best mario kart ever. been down hill ever since.

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elementalblazer on 03/24/2008 8:34 pm

I like both SS and SSB but Smash Bros is better multiplayer wise. anyway is online matches any good.


GamingAsshole (Guest) on 03/24/2008 8:36 pm

It's one of the funniest and most satisfying things in gaming history seeing Solid Snake battling on Meta Knights ship while evading Meta-Ridley.

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Jaimas on 03/24/2008 9:16 pm

It's done that way intentionally, though, proto. Seriously, Luigi being there, and introduced with an "I'm so awesome" look - right before damn near browning his pants because he saw a Waddle Dee is fucking funny.

Not as funny as Dedede sending him through the statosphere with his Jet Hammer, but up there.

What I personally find hilarious is that Meta-Knight has a complete inability to not start shit with people. He immediately attacks Marth, rushes headlong into every battle in the game, starts with Lucario, and immediately makes like he's gonna cut Snake down.

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Jaimas on 03/24/2008 9:20 pm

comhcinc on 03/24/2008 1:57 pm

i hate the wii. i refuse to moving anything but my thumbs when i play video games.

You uh... DO know you can play Brawl with a GCN controller or classic pad, right?

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saturnknight on 03/24/2008 9:35 pm

geeze, it'd be cool if they'd add afew extra moves in to he smash brothers game. immagine a fatality option, or having Snake walk up behind Mario and snap his neck. Why not have Ocelot in it? they have the codec in it

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mmm_braaains on 03/24/2008 9:47 pm

Eh, I like the pokemon characters. Although Pokemon Trainer isn't very good, I kick major ass with Pikachu. He's always been my main fighter, ever since the N64 version of the game.

I also rape faces with Pit. He's like impossible to knock off, ya know, with those wings and everything...

My sisters play as Fox and Olimar. Their Final Smashes are just re-goddamn-diculous. They're nearly always fatal. I hates it.

And yeah, I totally agree with everyone who said that a lot of the OG characters have been nerfed. Poor Kirby...


NinjaRygar (Guest) on 03/24/2008 10:44 pm

I liked the pause when it showed their names.

Not all of them tried to look bad ass... some of them looked very in character. Pit was cheering... Kirby was waving... Jigglypuff just kind of looked at the camera confused.... Yoshi was asleep.... (yeah ok, Diddy did some upside-down matrix thing, but uh.... Diddy IS kind of bad ass)

Looking through this thread, I've noticed something else about the game.
Whenever Super Smash Brothers is brought up, a few things are inevitable....

-People complain about who isn't in, and often make crazy suggestions (seriously... Revolver Ocelot was suggested here...)
-People complain about what characters got in, usually because they just don't like their series or because they "don't fit" (I love how Pokemon gets alot of hate, despite how well the games have done.)
-The "Nintendo is fer kidz" guy throws in his two cents, unable to enjoy ANYTHING in life.
-The "hardcore" crowd starts fighting over the make believe tier list. (Brawl is not played like Melee... so they don't even know what to do with themselves anymore)
-And finally... somebody tries to start a console war for no reason... comparing Smash brothers to games that are nothing at all like it. ("lol Halo 3 > Smash bros") Just for for the sake of arguing.

I love the series, it's a seriously crazy cross-over when you really think about it. I mean, weather you're a Nintendo fan or not, you have to admit... no other company could pull off such a massive cross-over with so many household names.


Eric (Guest) on 03/24/2008 11:34 pm

let's all post our friend codes so we can arrange 4 player brawls against each other..and i got this game at the midnight launch..damn well worth staying up past midnight for!

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Fekupuzi on 03/25/2008 12:47 am

A friend of mine dragged me 3 miles in a snowstorm to the nearest mall the night before the stupid game came out. We had to spend the night in a stranger's house and finish the rest of the trek at 8:00 in the morning.

Was it worth it? Yeah, pretty much.


JDelwynn (Guest) on 03/25/2008 1:38 am

Don't blame every european country, blame Germans, Spanish and French, they are the ones that makes translating such time costing thing. Learn to speak english dammit!


–Shoal– (Guest) on 03/25/2008 1:45 am

Yeah, sometimes the story mode is over dramatic, but I'm used to a lot of the things I enjoy being over dramatic. I also find it.. interesting that when Marth (my main) pops up he's making a pouty face. .. Maybe I imagined it.


Guest (Guest) on 03/25/2008 3:09 am

Pfft! Badass? Pikachu isn't even trying...


CJCassisi (Guest) on 03/25/2008 7:58 am

JDelwynn, i'm guessing you're some kind of redneck who lives in a trailer in might want to work on the race issues at your next klan meeting, chumley.


Eric (Guest) on 03/25/2008 8:33 am

0087-1985-8170 is my code i think


Kyle (Guest) on 03/25/2008 9:08 am

but... but... is there young link. i have to know if there is young link. and if you can make his costume black. he's the young, black faerie of death dammit!


Clayman (Guest) on 03/25/2008 9:38 am

@ comhcinc:
hell yes! I dont understand the whole wii-hype there was...there isnt even a single remotelly (no pun intended) interesting game on it,except maybe for the new metroid...and the wiiremote?i preffer my consoles when you dont need to buy 20 extra parts to enjoy a game

I still got my cube though,so sometimes i still rawk around on ssbm...good times


Norm’n (Guest) on 03/25/2008 10:34 am


Technically yes, there is toon link, who operates similarly. His black costume is a dark link looking thing, much eviler.

I mostly prefer meta-knight and link though, they are both powerful, but in different ways. Meta-Knight attacks with speedilyness, and don't survive link's final simply don't...I'm overall very disappointed in the online play though...nintendo is new at it, I'll give them that, but sweet JESUS it's laggy! On the whole though, it's an awesome game.

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Troubleshoot on 03/25/2008 3:42 pm

I still remember Super Smash Bros for N64. It had 12 characters. Now look at what humble beginnings have turned into.

And a note to everyone who complains so-and-so isn't in the game, go play the SSB for the N64. You won't complain about Brawl's character selection.

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JJ the Jetplane on 03/25/2008 3:52 pm

"Meta-Knight attacks with speedilyness, and Link…you don’t survive link’s final smash…you simply don’t…"

I have to ask.........why not?


Naota (Guest) on 03/25/2008 4:40 pm

@ Troubleshoot
I've never had a problem with the cast in SSB games due to the fact that I main Ness and he hasn't been removed, only nerfed, and then further modified for Brawl

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BurntToShreds on 03/25/2008 4:40 pm

Captain Falcon is still good though. It's always fun to run over someone in the Blue Falcon with his final Smash, and his FALCON.. PAUNCH!!! is still one of the most powerful specials in the game.

That also reminds me... Get into Coop Home-Rn Contest, and both you and your friend get Ganondorf. Both of you get to the left of the Sandbag. Warlock Punch at the EXACT SAME TIME. Then you can go do whatever the hell you want. Go see a movie, go to work, eat, etc.. Then you can come back and watch the game break.

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Protoclown on 03/25/2008 5:37 pm

Coryjonc: Really? You hate Pit? He's probably my favorite of the new characters. I've found him to be an extremely effective fighter. The new character I can't deal with is Olimar. I just can't figure him out.

JJ the Jetplane: Personally I like the Final Smashes...they give a little unique flavor to each character that I like. Solid Snake's is probably my favorite of all the ones I've seen so far. You summon a helicopter, hang from a ladder and use crosshairs that appear on the screen to shoot at the other players.

Burnt to Shreds:: My favorite thing about Captain Falcon is the "roid rage" pose that he strikes after winning some of the matches. It cracks me up every time.

I really hope that they have Mega Man in the next game. He'd be perfect for it.


ZippZapp (Guest) on 03/25/2008 7:51 pm

King Dedede is awesome. Let me just say that.

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Drunken_Lemur408 on 03/25/2008 8:49 pm

Proto I understand how you feel about Olimar, and I was confused as to why he got in, but you eventually get used to him, and he has a great recovery. and to flyboy, screw you, Pokemon trainer is amazing.


Albert (Guest) on 03/25/2008 11:04 pm

I still don't have a Wii or Brawl, but this game seems cool. A bit overhyped, though. I still want it.

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OxBlood on 03/26/2008 4:01 am

I don´t own a Wii and I have never played any of the series. Still, I just don´t get that game. Why would I want to beat the crap out of someone with...a Pokemon? Samus? ANY Nintendo-Character? I don´t think, it would feel right. That and I don´t see why I should buy a Wii for those 5 games that interest me.

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Jaimas on 03/26/2008 5:33 am

Holy shit, I thought I was the only Dedede player here. Mad Props, Zapp! MAD PROPS!


Unholy Fat Guy (Guest) on 03/26/2008 7:17 am

See, I like Kirby because when you play as him in white, his black cheeks sort of make him look like Gary Numan in the mid 80s.

...That sounded a lot cooler in my head, never mind.


rise1revolt2 (Guest) on 03/26/2008 1:35 pm

Olimar is my Best charecter, I can't find how people suck at him, he is EASY!
*throwing in a good word 4 snake also*

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spencerjg on 03/26/2008 1:35 pm

i think that pokemon trainer sucks ass,Wario has to be my best


Matthew (Guest) on 03/26/2008 2:48 pm

I just had to get it on import and how glad I am that I did. Nine hours wasn't bad for the Adventure mode and of course there's all the collectable goodness.

Kinda narks me that not all the characters got their own Final Smash. To Hell with 3 x Landmasters. >:

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flyboy1945 on 03/26/2008 4:17 pm

Drunken_Lemur408 i have to say that you are for sure the smartest person i know with comming up with the clever comment "screw you flyboy" but wait i see a problem that has arised from your comment: its not possible to screw oneself also the creators of any super smash game are just trying to bring back a dead fad something that will never ever come back to life and plus you must admit jigglypuff sucks and we all know it

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mmm_braaains on 03/26/2008 4:19 pm

One word: DRAGOON.
Seriously, wtf?

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mmm_braaains on 03/26/2008 4:22 pm

Simmer down, Flyboy.

You're the smartest person I know.
I had no IDEA that people don't use
punctuation marks or correct spelling
anymore. You blow my mind, sir.


SickBastard (Guest) on 03/26/2008 6:40 pm

Firstly, I have to clear up that I suck at all ssb games, since I've never owned a nintendo system other than a gameboy pocket (can't afford more than one console, oh well). Having said that though, I love picking kirby when I play with my buddies and chilling back while they fight it out before jumping over their heads when they're past 150% and dropping on them with his brick attack. Always pisses them off, and makes endless enjoyment for me.

Also, kudos to flyboy for taking a friendly jab way too seriously, not to mention his apparent ignorance of punctuation marks. Here dude, periods and commas are right there on your keyboard, next to the letter 'm'. Look down, see? It's right there; you don't even need to press the shift key to make it appear. If you want to know how to use 'em, ask any 8 year old. They'll be glad to inform you, bud.


ssbb master (Guest) on 03/26/2008 7:45 pm

ssbb rules it is amazing i got it the day it came out after reserving it christmas i own with link exept my friend was ticked young link was gone i noticed they decided that the phantom hourglass grappling hook was to lame for link and put in the windwaker hookshot but i like the fact you can now play as darklink its cool if anyone is willing to battle me in a brawl or team brawl my friend code is 4038-5731-2634


thearrow (Guest) on 03/26/2008 7:51 pm

im ssbb master but i changed my name be warned if you want to brawl me i am good but i might be a little stale i have unlocked everyone and it is REALLY FREAKING HARD TO UNLOCK TOON LINK AND THOSE THREE THAT TOOK ALOT OF BRAWLS but i got a lot of trophies in the process and please post your cruel brawl records because it is hard and i need tips!


thearrow (Guest) on 03/26/2008 7:57 pm

does anyone else have the liquid snake sticker? it requires 10 guys defeated in cruel brawl hard!


thearrow (Guest) on 03/26/2008 7:58 pm

i also found out there are 36 all star thropies! zss (zero suit samus) has one too!


Nowhere (Guest) on 03/27/2008 1:11 am

SSBB is great, I got it on launch day and play it every day. I rarely play regular brawl but my wife and i enjoy adventure mode and all of the other modes. I think that it not having motion controls helped the game immensely. Yeah sometimes they do look goofy. I was playing as captain falcon tonight and it did a closeup on him as he was walking over a cliff and he looked as if he's going to fall off a cliff.

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flyboy1945 on 03/27/2008 6:40 pm

wow i keep on getting bashed by people who are 40 and live in there parents basement, a sad day, a sad day indeed , also who else found the ending of adventure mode very cheesy?

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Drunken_Lemur408 on 03/27/2008 9:01 pm

Gasp! Puncuation? From Flyboy? Who are you, and what have you done with my favorite retard! you almost fooled me with your lack of capitalization, but every one knows flyboy can't punctuate.Yeah, I know Jigglypuff sucks, as does her final smash.

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mmm_braaains on 03/27/2008 9:04 pm

Dude. I'm 18 and in high school,
so yeah I do live with my parents.
You're a silly goose.

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flyboy1945 on 03/28/2008 6:34 am

Listen you too, I was just expressing my opinion which you two bozos took offense to so I am going to stop this war or what-ever you want to call it and walk away, also I would like to add that you have both been in this war of words against a person who is alot younger then you, 4 years younger then brains there.

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Drunken_Lemur408 on 03/28/2008 12:14 pm

I am glad this could come to a peaceful conclusion quickly. Wait Your 14, my brothers about your age! No wonder your not a fan of Pokemon, you must have been like, what 4, when it came out. But it is still a very popular series. I am sorry for insulting you. You see, I didn't know you were so young. IT was just a misunderstanding, and perhaps we can be friends.

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flyboy1945 on 03/28/2008 2:29 pm

i was 6 and yes maybe

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mmm_braaains on 03/28/2008 11:17 pm

Imma rape you.


chris (Guest) on 03/29/2008 7:37 am

i hate that god-damn fluff ball,jigglypuff. she/he can K.O. her/himself with a shield break. jigglypuffs attacks suck ass. im surprised that nintendo brought her/him back.

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Drunken_Lemur408 on 03/29/2008 10:26 am

I am 150% sure it's female.


Pepito el anticristo (Guest) on 03/29/2008 11:21 am

RoG please post your FC here is mine,
hope we play together sometime


Kyzor (Guest) on 03/30/2008 8:57 pm

"geeze, it’d be cool if they’d add afew extra moves in to he smash brothers game. immagine a fatality option, or having Snake walk up behind Mario and snap his neck. Why not have Ocelot in it? they have the codec in it"

Snake DOES snap necks; it's one of his smash moves

And seriously? Ocelot? Maybe as a Smash Trophy in the next installment; featuring Grey Fox

Also, Jigglypuff was pretty much useless except for the undeniable fact that it's down-b move = instant kill if done right

Also, is it just me, or does Ice Climbers seem more powerful then they really should be in Brawl?

Finally, Yoshi = Win

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NathanTZ on 03/31/2008 7:28 pm

Kirby striking a pose like he's some sort of badass = Hilarious (I am a Kirby fan).

Pikachu trying for a badass pose = understandable being an electric rat that cockfights.

Mario going for said pose = It's Mario he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

Yoshi striking a bad mofo pose = FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!


Kyzor (Guest) on 03/31/2008 9:55 pm

Well, yeah, we know Yoshi can't be one bad mofo, but he still = win
...just not in a bad mofo kind of way

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Zounds on 04/02/2008 11:43 am

Na, Luigis the bad ass mofo and you all know it. Perhaps he may not be the strongist, or fastist, or most swave, or brave, er ya.. but just look at that pose of his! The man's got class.

On a side note any one else thing that him and Samus are an item? Dunno why but that seems to make sense..

I do kinda miss Dr. Mario though, still its nice to see that so many of the orignals made it into Brawl. Shame you can't actualy play as the other earthbound cast though, each of em would have made for an intresting fighter. Next installment perhaps?


(required) (Guest) on 04/02/2008 8:08 pm

Did I read you right when you said Jigglypuff's only redeeming feature was his Down+B, Kyzor? I imagine you never got "Wall of Pain"ed before. Jigglypuff is the master of aerial manuverability, so a Down+B is nowhere near as devastating as any of Jigglypuff's standard aerials while I'm trying to recover.


Josh (Guest) on 04/03/2008 1:21 am

Jigglypuff's a she.

Also this game's single player mode sucks ass and anyone who likes it is a masochistic faggot.


Cyan blue parakeet (Guest) on 04/03/2008 10:01 am

JDelwynn (Guest) on 03/25/2008 1:38 am

Don’t blame every european country, blame Germans, Spanish and French, they are the ones that makes translating such time costing thing. Learn to speak english dammit!

I am Spanish, I know English, and that makes me even more angry to those who can't take a game without a (generally shitty and soul-less) translation...
Sigh, but the European market was always this slow even when games didn't have text. And a script translation, seriously, with a translation team of at least two persons, takes a few days at most, so don't buy the translation excuse...
This is what makes importing so's also cheaper to buy US releases, even with shipping.


JTN (Guest) on 04/05/2008 3:29 pm

"Also this game’s single player mode sucks ass and anyone who likes it is a masochistic faggot."

I liked the single-player if only for the cutscenes. Nintendo has a way with pantomime storytelling, you have to admit. And when Captain Falcon punches out that giant ROB, lands in the middle of a bunch of pikmin (killing them) and then strikes that pose? PRICELESS. When Diddy Kong tries to get Falco and Fox to help him out and ends up dragging them by their shirts? Also priceless. I could name a billion pure gold moments in the cutscenes alone, and they're pretty much one of the only reasons to bother with single-player at all (aside from unlocking most of the characters easily)

Has anyone else found those "trophy base" items to be absolutely impossible to use?


Banjo (Guest) on 04/06/2008 5:09 am

I've always played as fox, since the n64 game. I used to kick arse with him, then I went over to one of my new friends houses, and there was this other guy there, and they were both so amazing at supersmash brothers that I was just getting juggled between them as they flew around the screen at ultra speed.I've been brooding ever since....Can't wait for ssbb.

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i-bobbery on 05/07/2008 3:17 pm

The only good part of character introductions was the one where Pikachoo gets roasted. As for Kirby and Mario wll nobody takes them seriosuly.

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