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Hot Wheels Mystery Cars: Part 1 Of 2.

Oh the anticipation! Actually, I don't care about cars at all, but I can't resist a good mystery, damnit!

So I was walking around the toy aisles of Target the other day, like any grown man should, and I noticed a strange Hot Wheels package out of the corner of my eye. Normally, I barely even pay any attention to Hot Wheels since I generally don't give a damn about cars, but the solid black packaging drew my eyes in like a magnet. Hot Wheels "Mystery" cars??? It took all of about two seconds to realize I would be buying this thing immediately because I'm a total sucker for any kind of "mystery" items where you don't know what you're going to get. I've already posted evidence of this in the past with the Mystery Surprise Grab Bags from the dollar store. I've also posted about another form of mysterious automobiles from Matchbox in the form of Coal Cars. Those things came with a nice lump of coal to keep them in though, and these latest "Mystery" cars don't come with anything of the sort, so the cars themselves have a lot to live up to. After all, when something costs a whopping 99 cents like these mystery cars do, you expect it to be of the utmost premium quality, right? Right.

So let's see what I got...

Everything is yellow! YELLOW!!!!!

Damn, I was really hoping for something cooler, like the Batmobile from the old Adam West "Batman" show or the Green Hornet's "Black Beauty". Or how about that cool Baja Bug that Crispin Glover drove in River's Edge? Hell, I'd be happy with friggin' Herbie. Don't get me wrong, a '69 Corvette is cool 'n all, but it seems like a pretty basic car for such a mysterious package. When you have an ominous black package like that, you expect the hounds of hell to jump out at you the instant you open it, so I guess anything less is a bit of a let-down. Then again, these things are a gamble by nature so I can't complain. I will say this though, I now want to get yellow-tinted windows installed on my car. Er wait, make 'em green. If it was good enough for the Green Hornet, it's good enough for me.

While I was at Target, I found two of these Mystery car packs, so tomorrow I'll be opening the other one and sharing it with you guys. If the Internet was made for just one thing, it would have to be for watching a guy opening up mysterious toy car packages. This is what you pay those big connection fees for! Get ready for the action-packed conclusion tomorrow! Could you possibly be more excited? It's ok, you can tell me.

In "mysterious" related news, I've long considered sending out monthly I-Mockery Mystery Packages, but I'm not sure how interested people would be in paying 5-10 bux each month and not knowing what they were gonna get. Many of you remember the old I-Mockery Club Packs that I used to mail out and they always sold out quickly, but with those, you knew almost exactly what you were getting. With these new packs, however, you'd just have to put your trust in me. What do you guys think? Is this something you'd be interested in or is putting all of your trust in a guy who wears a pickle hat too much of a stretch?



SunnyD (Guest) on 05/18/2008 3:10 pm

I tell you Rog, I'd completely trust a guy in a pickle hat with my very LIFE. So paying 5-10 bucks for a mystery package of mysterious origins sounds like a pretty cool idea!

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Evil Robot on 05/18/2008 3:51 pm

How pissed would you be if it contained a dead AAA battery instead of the car?


Jay-tee (Guest) on 05/18/2008 4:11 pm

I'd be interested in shelling out 5-10.

On a side note. Hoo-ray for the underlying text in the images. I've noticed most of the recent articles/shorts, ect. ect. are devoid of image property text. I miss it.


melonian (Guest) on 05/18/2008 4:23 pm

I second Evil Robot, and add a dead goldfish.
Life would be more interesting if kids could find dead fish in mystery toys.
That'd bring a new meaning in mystery, though I guess one would be able to guess by the smell.


synd (Guest) on 05/18/2008 4:23 pm

I gotta say Rog, you are the king of swag - normally I would say "5-10 bucks to have some guy send me random crap! that's insane! I'd never do it!"

... however since it's you it's more like "5-10 bucks to have Rog send me random crap?! that's insane! I'm in"

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briny bill on 05/18/2008 4:50 pm

5-10 heck I'd pay 50-100 I love this site


Hurr (Guest) on 05/18/2008 4:59 pm

Hey i own that batmobile hotwheels car,yes the adam west one

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wastedsage on 05/18/2008 5:03 pm

Stuff in "MYSTERIOUS" packaging is just another reason for companies to get you to buy completly useless pieces of crap. Hope you learned that RoG

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gingerninja on 05/18/2008 6:59 pm

RoG, I'm totally behind the i-mockery mystery pakages. DO IT!!!!

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Soli on 05/18/2008 7:36 pm

If -RoG- bought it, it wasn't useless crap. I hope YOU learned THAT wastedsage.

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GRUMPYNZ on 05/18/2008 7:58 pm

Can't wait to see your other mystery cars! Maybe one wont even be a car, maybe it will be a boat or a bicycle or something.

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GUS on 05/18/2008 8:41 pm

I would love a subscription to I-Mockery┬┤s Monthly Mystery Package

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Nick on 05/18/2008 8:42 pm

$10 dollar pickle hats!

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Terrible-D on 05/18/2008 10:50 pm

I'm down for the mystery pack! As long as they don't contain used condoms, that's one mystery I don't need to experience more than once.


Big daddy Z (Guest) on 05/18/2008 10:55 pm

20 bucks says that the color scheme on these "mystery" cars is unique, which means rabid collectors will shell out truckloads of money to get a hot wheels car they already have...but in a different color!

I think the same thing is done with Transformers too.


Dr. Hugh (Guest) on 05/18/2008 11:47 pm

A grown man who wears a pickle hat and plays with toys is offering me a mysterious package for
$5-10? My Instincts say " no no", but my curiousity says "yes yes"!

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darkvare on 05/18/2008 11:59 pm

as long as you don't send flaming turd bags i may consider

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Burn on 05/19/2008 1:06 am

For you, RoG, anything.

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greenimp on 05/19/2008 2:02 am

"How pissed would you be if it contained a dead AAA battery instead of the car?"

not as pissed as you'd be if it contained a lada XD


jojaxx (Guest) on 05/19/2008 7:41 am

I'd totally pay 5-10 bucks for whatever random crap you sent. You always manage to find the coolest most random crap - and who doesn't like getting mystery packages in the mail - what will it be this time: toys? mail bomb? candy? anthrax?

The question is, would these mystery packages be available all the way up here in Canada?

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wobzire on 05/19/2008 8:16 am

I wouldn't be the first to pay money for your package, would I Rog?

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xscoot on 05/19/2008 10:18 am

I'd pay for a secret package. But, for the love of God, no pornagraphic materials.


Darkstar material (Guest) on 05/19/2008 10:25 am

i would like your secret package, but i wouldn't want a chopped off d***, i mean who in their right mind would want a chopped off wang? that would be wrong, even for you, Rog. just wrong. although it would be cool to open one of these and get a coloury/shiny material.

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Dimnos on 05/19/2008 11:48 am

"I gotta say Rog, you are the king of swag - normally I would say "5-10 bucks to have some guy send me random crap! that's insane! I'd never do it!"

... however since it's you it's more like "5-10 bucks to have Rog send me random crap?! that's insane! I'm in""

QFT. I would sooo be in

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Aura Fox on 05/19/2008 12:32 pm

If said packs contained at least one sticky/gooey item that would quickly become encased in carpet fibers im all for it.

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darkvare on 05/19/2008 1:41 pm

i just looked trhoug my hotwheels colection and i have tim burton's batmobile and a toilet car lol

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-RoG- on 05/19/2008 1:57 pm

Glad to hear you guys are interested in the mystery packs so far, I just might do 'em sometime in the future. But first, I have some new t-shirts coming in at the end of this month, and I think you all know what I'm talking about.

SunnyD, everybody should trust their life to a guy in a pickle hat. There's no question about it.

synd, thankee! I hope if I do these mystery packs, they'll live up to your expectations of spiffy swag from yours truly!

Hurr, say, I've got this niiiice '69 Corvette mystery car... wanna trade?

wastedsage, if you can't have fun spending 99 cents on a "mystery" car (or any other toy) then you just might be dead inside.

jojaxx, yeah, if I do the mystery packs, I'll be sure to set up some kind of international orders option too. We get a lot of traffic from all around the globe and I wouldn't want to exclude anybody from getting in on the fun.

wobzire, indeed... people pay for my package all the time. It's magnificent.

xscoot, damn, well there goes one idea. Nah, in all seriousness, these mystery packs would be suitable for all ages.

Aura Fox, heheh... I take it you purchased one of our old Club Packs, eh?

darkvare, a toilet car? I demand photos of such an amazing sounding vehicle!

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darkvare on 05/19/2008 3:04 pm


Lauren (Guest) on 05/19/2008 3:25 pm

It's the black package that entices me. I bought deodorant JUST because it came in a black container. Most female deodorants come in pastels of blue, pink or in clear but no, this was "SOFT & DRI PULSE" with "activated protection." I didn't even smell it before I bought it, but it's actually pretty nice.
Anything in a black container is badass by default because black is the colour of EVIL and mystery.

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JoeyJoJoJr on 05/19/2008 5:04 pm

I am willing to give I-Mockery all my cash for a grab bag.

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Afro-Shroom on 05/19/2008 5:06 pm

I'd go for it. What kinda world would it be if you wouldn't trust a man in a pickle hat?


Renato (Guest) on 05/19/2008 7:02 pm

eu, vc

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Aura Fox on 05/19/2008 7:03 pm


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-RoG- on 05/19/2008 9:42 pm

Car numba two is posted! Clicky here.

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Fatacula on 05/19/2008 11:49 pm

Somehow I see myself more likely to pay a man for a mysterious package if he IS wearing a pickle hat... a ROTH IRA no, a mystery package yes!

It would be kinda funny if the package contained a simple 401K plan for $10. Start saving now!


Simon (Guest) on 05/20/2008 4:31 am

I'd give you $10 for a mystery prize.


Jeremy B. (Guest) on 05/20/2008 2:40 pm

I would love to give $5 to a guy with a pickle on his head. Sound better than the usual routine of spending five bucks to get my head pickled. Ba-zing!

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Silver on 05/20/2008 9:46 pm

Long ago (when I was 5 or less) I used to have a replica of the car drove by the Dukes of Hazzard and completely loved it. You would come to think that a piece of art like that (with all and the 01 and the Confederate Flag) would be well guarded in a vault 20 stories below my house. Well that's not the case. I lost it in a most unfortunate incident with a manhole when, while launching it a Mach 5, it wasn't fast enough to manouver and take a turn at the obstacle. That day the graveyard for vehicles cried.


Zachariah James Hill (Guest) on 06/01/2008 10:50 pm

chickens can really fly, ya know?

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Jogstenite on 06/13/2008 5:41 pm

hey -RoG- i managed to find a batmobile hot wheel on a website called I don't know if you still wanted it or not.


sherrie (Guest) on 02/06/2010 12:25 am

I have 5 mystery cars,and i haven't opened them. I'm hoping someday just maybe they will be worth something.....I paid 1.00, maybe they;ll be worth
12.00 who knows? so every now and then I shake them or try to see through, but so far i've resisted. keep the second car a mystery !!


Karo (Guest) on 01/13/2013 8:09 pm

You can find out what it is by going to wiki, they have a complete list on there of all the mystery cars. You just need the number on the front top right of the package. i have 5 of these if anyone wants to buy. they are from 2008. they are worth 15$ each on the current market.

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