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I Love Indiana Jones.

Why is Indy shining a flashlight on another light?

Not in a gay way, mind you, but he is one of my childhood heroes and favorite characters ever. So as you can imagine, I'm really looking forward to the upcoming Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, despite it's terrible, terrible title. But the problem is that George Lucas is involved, and he let us down big time with the Star Wars prequels. So I don't exactly trust him, you see. However, the good news is that Steven Spielberg is also involved, and though he's done some crappy movies in his day, his track record is WAY better than Lucas's.

Much as I welcome the idea of having more Indy adventures to watch, I'd almost prefer they left well enough alone. The original trilogy is fucking fantastic, and The Last Crusade ended things so damned well, I have a hard time believing that this new one could provide a halfway satisfying conclusion to the whole series. It's almost bound to disappoint, given the sheer perfection of Raiders of the Lost Ark and Last Crusade, and the not-too-shabby-though-not-quite-as-good Temple of Doom. It's pretty much impossible to top the first or third movie, and when you go out on such a great high note as they did, it's usually a bad idea to keep doing more, especially after so much time has gone by.

So I'm trying to keep myself from having ANY expectations at all about this new film in an effort to avoid being disappointed. I don't think for one minute it will be as good as Raiders or Crusade, but can it match Temple? It might. That's my sincere hope, anyway. Maybe if I keep telling myself "George Lucas is the man behind Jar Jar Binks" over and over again, I'll start to think the movie will suck, and then even if it's just "okay" I'll still be fairly happy with it. (Plus, it has Cate Blanchett in it, who I am totally in lurve with).

What are you guys' thoughts about the new movie? Do you have hope that it will live up to the previous adventures, or do you think Indy's time is past? Also, I'm curious: what's your favorite film in the series? It's a very tough choice for me between Raiders and Crusade, but I think Crusade just barely edges out over Raiders for me, because the interaction between Harrison Ford and Sean Connery is so much fun to watch. Indy works really well when he has a sidekick to play off of, and that was the one thing he lacked in the first film. I'm also curious to know how many Temple fans are out there. Don't get me wrong, it's a fine movie, but I think the annoyingness of Willie Scott kind of drags it down a few notches as compared to the other two.

NOTE: Protoclown wrote these words two days prior to their posting, before having seen the movie, which he has just returned from. And boy, does he have things to say about it, boy does he ever. But he is going to wait and post a weekly movie review about it next week, rather than discussing it here. This post is more about the "before". The "after" comes later. Protoclown has also just realized it is three in the morning, and he is writing about himself in the third person. God, what a douchebag.



aces (Guest) on 05/22/2008 2:53 am

first! boo-ya!

i'm hopeful about this movie, while i dont think it's going to be any kind of tour de force it shouldn't suck either. i'm just really worried they're going to go all summer blockbuster on it... the last thing i want to see is a 60 year old indy jumping from CGI fireballs for 2 hours

and as a fun side note, i liked temple. it kinda dragged along at some parts, but i think every trillogy needs a weaker part to it. it serves to make raiders and crusade even better by comparison

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Mac Brookman on 05/22/2008 2:53 am

I'm going to break tradition with a lot of Indy fans and come clear: my favourite is the Temple of Doom. It is slightly darker and the sidekicks are somewhat annoying, but that is more than made up with by the action and the dinner scene.

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Terrible-D on 05/22/2008 3:08 am

I'm in the same skeptical boat. George Lucas frightens me. He's taken a beloved childhood memory and twisted it into some perverse nightmare. But I'm sure I'll eventually checkout kingdom in the theatre.
As far as my favorite, Raiders is still the top of the heap in my book. The opening scene, by itself, is more entertaining than most films now-a-days.


Volcanon (Guest) on 05/22/2008 3:27 am

I agree. Temple of doom is way better than the first one.

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GRUMPYNZ on 05/22/2008 3:41 am

My expectations aren't overly high. The trailer seems so-so. But i do love Indy, so one can only hope...


Reb (Guest) on 05/22/2008 5:23 am

What am I expecting? A decent-to-good action movie with some great ...Harrison Ford-ing. I'm not sure what he does that makes the role so awesome, but that.

Aside from that, really, the series (which I have loved since my babyhood) has always been a basic formulaic action adventure thing- so as long as Indy4 is fun to watch, I won't be disappointed.

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neoboman on 05/22/2008 5:55 am

I liked it, but then again, I'm not hard to please at all. The above poster is pretty much exactly right. This movie is extremely easy to pick apart, so just sit back and enjoy the ride if you want any chance of liking it.


basterd (Guest) on 05/22/2008 6:28 am


Indy married Marion, wtf? And the skull was a goddamn alien head...


jojaxx (Guest) on 05/22/2008 7:33 am

I think Crusade is the best, but it's a tough fight with Raiders. As for Temple, my objection is that it's not really an Indy movie in the same way that DH:WaV is not really a Die Hard movie. You could throw Bruce Willis or Kurt Russell or Tom Selleck or Mel Gibson or maybe even Arnold in place of Harrison Ford, change the character's name and it would be pretty much the same movie.

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Grishnak on 05/22/2008 8:06 am

(I'm really trying not to break out of character but it's useless...)

It's really funny how I seem to find lots of things in common with Proto, yet we can't agree on one thing...
London Calling or Rocket to Russia? I pick the second, he picks the first.
And here again I find myself with a completely different point of view even though we both love Indy so much...
My favourite is Temple because I think it's the one that lives up to the premise of the series: let's try to make a straightforward remake of classic cliffhanger serials of the 30's! For that exact same reason/point of view Crusade is my least favourite (still great though...).
Anyway, thanks for the opposing point of view Proto, a man is nothing without a nemesis!

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Gilgongo on 05/22/2008 8:33 am

I just watched the original three last week for the first time in years and was a bit surprised. Last Crusade, which I thought was "meh" when I it came out, I really enjoyed now. Doom, which I LOVED as a kid, really just annoyed me. Raiders however, was every bit as awesome as I remember it.

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chemquat on 05/22/2008 8:35 am

my favorite has always been temple of doom. it held my attention better when i was a kid, the other two couldn't. i should watch all three again so see if that still holds true.

and like you i'm trying to not have any super-high expectations for this movie, just in case.

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Relaxing Dragon on 05/22/2008 9:03 am

I actually enjoyed Crystal Skull, I thought it was pretty good. I really need to watch it again, though, and see it un-surprised (speaking of which, basterd: spoiler alerts please). Kinda expecting others not to like it, but I did, so there.

Personally, I'm a Radiers guy, true and true. It's got all the classic parts for me, from the ones mentioned in the list to the really little things (the bug going into Belloq's mouth, Indy kicking the Nazi and having his hat pop up into his hands, and so on). Not a big fan of all the snale abuse in that one, but I can look past it to appreciate it's shere awesomeness.

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Icculus on 05/22/2008 9:05 am

When I was but a wee lad temple was probably my favorite. They ate monkey brains, a funny asain kid, and when Molaram pulled out that guys heart...scared the shit out of me. What more could I have wanted?

Apparently I wanted to see Indy travel around Europe and fight Nazis again. All the hype they had when they came out with Crusade how could you not think that God himself didn't come to Lucas in the middle of the night and bestow this story to him. The invisble bridge, Nazis, drinknig from the wrong chalice, Hitler, Zeppelins, Sean Connery controling birds.

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BakaGaijin on 05/22/2008 10:42 am

Haven't seen Crystal Skull yet, but I'm looking forward to it. I don't think this will be an end to the series, but the start of a franchise. Just like James Bond, Indy is too good to stop just because the actors are getting old. Maybe Shia LaBeouf will take over in the next sequels as his new character or maybe they will just hire someone else to play Indy, but I have a feeling that this won't be the end of it. However, I haven't seen the new one yet, so I could be totally wrong.

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The Duke on 05/22/2008 11:25 am

Just saw it last night. I really enjoyed it... Near the end, however, it got a little iffy for me. But I'm sure I'll learn to appreciate it after seeing it a couple more times.

Other than that, it was a really brilliant movie. I'm pretty sure I was grinning ear to ear the whole time I sat watching it.

It was great seeing Marion back, my favorite of Indy's love interests... I really could go on, but I won't. I'd rather go watch it again.

And as for my favorite Indy movie... I love them all equally.

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blacksamster on 05/22/2008 12:30 pm

It was so silly. It was sooo sooo silly. I kept thinking, "Indiana Jones was kidnapped, and placed into this film, and I can tell he knows it from the incredulous look on his face." I'm anticipating the movie review.


Big daddy Z (Guest) on 05/22/2008 1:48 pm

I have crazy high expectations for this film, based on one sole fact - the revival of the Die Hard series last year. Anyone who was a fan of the original Die Hards who then went and saw Live Free or Die Hard knows what I am talking about. Was the plot stupid? Fucking duh! That's not what the movie was about. It captured everything that is a Die Hard movie, and yes, they did the whole summer movie blockbuster spectacular tricks to it, but dammit it was fun as hell to watch. What I see being done with Indy here is a similar thing; not necessarily a strong plot, but everything that makes Indy Indy will be showcased, making this an enjoyable movie, even if it isn't a good one.


melonian (Guest) on 05/22/2008 2:05 pm

I'm also frigging dieing to see the movie.
I've never been one of highstandards once it comes to my faves. I know it'll really have to suck big time for me not to enjoy it.
It took 5 years to realize how the Phantom Menace sucks, so go figure.

As for original trilogy, my fave is Crusade by far!

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Colonel Flagg on 05/22/2008 2:10 pm

I thankfully avoided Lucas' craptastic Star Wars prequels, but I'll be hard-pressed to stay away from this one. Even if it sucks.

Anxiously awaiting the next installment ...


Darkstar material (Guest) on 05/22/2008 2:15 pm

i want to see the movie, dying to see it! my favourite original movie is and still is Radiers of The Lost Ark, because of the ending where the guy gets his face melted off!

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Nick on 05/22/2008 2:35 pm

George may have messed up Star Wars, but he did create Indiana Jones, not to mention being some what involved with all the movies. He can't be that bad. :(

My favorite is Temple, with Crusade coming in at a close second. I just love having Indy in a jungle adventure.

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Silver on 05/22/2008 4:19 pm

I guess that if Rocky Balboa had quite a nice touch at the end of the series then Indiana Jones can, the only catch I find is the fact that Lucas is behind all of this. Let's hope he didn't screw up.

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Dungeonbrownies on 05/22/2008 4:28 pm

i hope there arent any anachronisms, i hate those

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Doctor_Who on 05/22/2008 5:05 pm

Last Crusade is my favorite of the bunch. Indy works well with a hefty dose of comedy thrown in amid the action. "No ticket".

As for Temple, I hated Willie Scott, but I loved Short Round. We need to clone that kid so that everyone can have him as a sidekick. "Doctor Jones, no time for love!"

Forget All Star Batman and Robin featuring Dick Grayson (who, I believe, is twelve years old). all Star Batman and Short Round would rule the racks. And don't tell me for a second that Frank Miller isn't insane enough to try it...

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Ferrit on 05/22/2008 5:10 pm

Anachronisms in Indy movies? Nahhh - c'mon - the MP40 was certainly available in 1936 - never mind that the "40" signifies "1940" :P

I'm hoping to see Crystal Skull this weekend - and as I've said before, it's gotta really go out of its way for it to suck s'far as I'm concerned. Here's keeping my fingers crossed.

I rank the movies by personal favorite in the order they came out - I like Raiders the best - Temple of Doom 2nd best and Holy Grail 3rd. I've got a sneaking feeling that Crystal Skull is going to follow right along those lines, coming in at last place behind the first 3 (but hopefully not coming in behind a couple of selected episodes of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, like Trenches of Hell - which I thought kicked some pretty good ass for a made for TV movie)

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Commanderraf on 05/22/2008 5:22 pm

I kind of have high hopes for this movie (after all, I've been waiting for it for 19 years). But the fact that, Harrison Ford himself said that there were about 100 jokes about Indy's old age in the movie makes me worry.

Anyway, I'll love to see it.


The Squatch (Guest) on 05/22/2008 5:28 pm

I really look forward to Crystal Skull, but doubt it will be as amazing as the previous installments. My personal favorite is Raiders, but if there was more KALI MAAAAA followed by hearts being ripped out and much less Willie Temple would be at the top of my list

and Dr Who, as amazing as All-Star Batman and Short "Stong Bidge Doctah Jones" Round would be. I defy anyone here to tell me All-Star Batman and Danny Trejo wouldn't be the best comic ever

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Teal on 05/22/2008 5:56 pm

I don't worry TOO much about Lucas- he was the one who suggested having the Grail as a quest....they've worked together often enough in good ways that I can find it in my heart to ignore the Unspeakable Prequels.

I'm excited to see Crystal Skull...but I think I might love it only because I want to love it so know?


Paul (Guest) on 05/22/2008 8:11 pm

Saw the new movie last night. I loved the first three quarters of the movie but the ending asked a lot of my imagination and seemed a bit over top (even for a classic "B-movie" inspired series like Indy). Less is always more seems to have been replaced with way too much is better. I wish the "resuscitation" genre would end already (Star Wars, Rocky, Rambo, Die Hard, Indy). Has Hollywood just run out of original stories and turned to cashing in on recycled products of our collective childhood experiences?

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Desert_Screams on 05/22/2008 8:13 pm

Loved these films, but I'm not sure I want to subject myself to INDIANA JONES AND THE PHANTOM MENACE, for many of the same reasons you outline in this piece. Lucas' history of pissing on the collective nostalgia of the very people who are the target demo for these's insane.

But I'm also fine with leaving my last memory of Dr. Jones and his companions riding hell-for-leather into the sunset of LAST CRUSADE, since it was the perfect father-and-son movie for my 12-year-old self, just beginning to enjoy a halfway decent relationship with my dad, who took me to see that movie out of the blue. It would also be the last movie that we would see I keep it preserved in especially vivid amber in my memories. LAST CRUSADE, always.

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JoeyJoJoJr on 05/22/2008 8:27 pm

Well I'll I can say was that I was disappointed.

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Poxpower on 05/22/2008 10:43 pm


I know it.


Mike (Guest) on 05/22/2008 11:18 pm

I'm actually more excited for it after I read an article about the movie in some magazine while waiting for my car's oil change. They mentioned that it took a while to make this movie, because all potential Indy scripts had to be approved by Harrison Ford, Spielberg and Lucas. So we had at least two good people to agree on it.

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Sarcastro on 05/22/2008 11:44 pm

Protoclown is leading you all to your dooms with his optimism. AVOID THE CRYSTAL SKULL, IT IS SHIT. He and I watched it on a midnight show, and this was the first movie since Star Trek 5 that I was actually angry with when I left the theater. He was too much of a pussy to come back and warn you all about it, so I've come in his stead.

And mind you, I didn't walk into the theater expecting high art, or even anything as good as Raiders. But I was expecting the script at least to not be a disjointed, designed-by-committee pile of crap. The characters just wander from action scene to action scene without any real reason for bothering to do so. This would be fine if the action scenes were fucking sweet, but they weren't. They were sad and stupid. Once the bad actor kid from Transformers started swinging from vine to vine with a herd of monkeys like Tarzan, the movie was fucking over as far as I was concerned.

If you have a fond spot in your heart for Indiana Jones, do not watch that movie. It will only tarnish your opinion of what was previously a fantastic series.


Pounce The Jaguar (Guest) on 05/23/2008 1:10 am


It was terrible, george lucas is a hack.


Pounce The Jaguar (Guest) on 05/23/2008 1:12 am

Ehurm, sorry about that last post. A bit of rage was necessary.

When you think of indy, do you think of a happily married, 60 something with a steady, high paying job as a assistant dean who has a son, who he has never met, that is his exact, yet lamer, character?

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greenimp on 05/23/2008 1:59 am

wow, judging by all the *enthusiasm* on this forum i think i'll skip this movie

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D-MoN on 05/23/2008 7:02 am

I dunno. Temple was great because it was so atmosphereic. Then again considering this is Indiana Jones we're talking about that doesn't say much does it? Every movie was so goddamned atmosphereic that they dripped charm.

That being said, I'm throwing my hat in with Raiders. As much as the Connery/Ford dynamic worked and worked well I really liked the interplay between Sallah and Indie in the first flick and I thought that the action sequences in Raiders eaked out over the third.

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captain516 on 05/23/2008 9:06 am

"Raiders" is my favorite, for the same reason as D-MoN. As for the new one, it's probably the weakest out of the whole series, but that doesn't make it any less entertaining.The action scenes were great, and Harrison Ford IS Indiana Jones, which is why I'll burn down Lucas's and Speilberg's houses if they replace him with Shia
le Beouf in the upcoming sequel (You KNOW it's gonna happen.)

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Madface on 05/23/2008 9:18 am

I'm trying to see it today. Even if it sucks I want to be able to say i saw it instead of somebody told me it sucked. And my favorite still holds as Temple of Doom. Ever since i was little the heart removal alone had me hooked on Jones films forever. About two weeks ago I saw all 3 movies in order (no thanks to goddamned USA channel) and realized for the first time that Temple of Doom was the lesser. But I still liked it when the action heated up towards the halfway mark. Yes, Willie held it back alot but it's Indy and short round karate kicking Indian satanists was priceless.


Kris (Guest) on 05/23/2008 9:49 am

I thought it was good. Not great, but good. A bad Indiana Jones movie still kicks the shit out of most other stuff we're handed by Hollywood. I think after another viewing I'll appreciate it even more as well. BIG SPOILERS.......

The thing I really didn't like was the ending. I'm not talking about the alien thing. That was fine (if you can believe in a magic box that melts people's faces off, what's so hard to believe about aliens?) I'm talking about Marion and Indy's wedding. It felt really tacked on and needless. Not nearly the satisfying ending that Crusade had. In fact, Marion's entire presence was lacking. What made her so great in Raiders is that she could hold her own and stand toe to toe with Indy. Here, she felt much more useless, and after apparently being furious with Indy for bailing on her, she just kind of falls back into love with him too quickly, and spends the rest of the movie making googly eyes at him.


My favorites in order:

Crystal Skull

But by no means should you avoid this movie. It is very enjoyable, and Harrison is definetly Indy in this movie. It just could have been better is all.

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Protoclown on 05/23/2008 11:51 am

Sarcastro, good job on the reading comprehension there, Dave. I clearly stated that these are my thoughts BEFORE the movie and I am going to share my thoughts after having seen the film in a review after I return from vacation.

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Sarcastro on 05/23/2008 12:20 pm

After you return is waaaaaaay too fucking late to warn people. Talk about closing the barn door after the horses are gone! You of ALL people should know that everyone who'd see this movie is going to see it on opening weekend; how is posting, "BTW: Sucked." next week going to help anyone?


Pounce The Jaguar (Guest) on 05/23/2008 1:27 pm

sarcastro is right, warn them now so that they keep their fond memories intact.


Cock Cambridge (Guest) on 05/23/2008 1:58 pm

For thos of you Shia haters, just could have been Hayden Craptensen again. At least LaBeouf was all right in Transformers. Christensen to my knowledge is completely useless. But hey, he's "TOTALLY HOT!!!!111111"


James (Guest) on 05/23/2008 2:53 pm

I'm not the biggest Indy fan (never really watched the previous movies at length, I know, blasphemy!) it shouldn't be a life-or-death situation for me over this movie. But yes, this is what I've been worried about all along. We all know that Lucas had gone insane sometime between 1983 and 1999...wait, no...BEFORE: as in, 1997, when Star Wars: The History Revision Editions came out. Then came the prequels, which were the straw that broke the camel's back, and now Star Wars (which I did like) is dead to me. At least Frank Miller's insanity is somehow translated into comedy genius (yes, I love the Goddamn Batman. Today's sitcoms, unless they're British or Larry David, typically don't give me that many laughs).

On the other hand, Lucas's is just annoying, like he lowers the bar to show he doesn't care what we want, and that HE has all the power over his creations. He reminds me a little bit of Vince McMahon, actually...if you are a wrestling fan, and when you consider today's quality of the now-WWE, you will understand what I mean. Both:

- Shortchange the fans who made his work the phenomenon it is today. (Yes it doesn't help that said fans often complain an obscene amount sometimes. But two wrongs don't make a right)

- Thinks they're powerful enough to control history and shape it whatever way they want.

- Puts out bad ideas/bad comedy because they can, and hey, we'll go see them anyway!

- Doesn't choose their workers based on talent (big, generic musclemen in the WWE now, generic teenybopper actors/actresses in the SW prequels. By the way Cambridge, I agree that LeBeouf isn't that bad, especially considering that I could just see them pushing Haydung down our throats again. Seriously. Of course, I do only know him from Transformers, which I also liked. Yeah, yeah, I know, WAAAAAAH IT ISN'T G1. Too bad, I liked it for what it was. And Speed Racer showed us that making it Just Like The Original doesn't always make things work)

So yeah, I was and am using EXTREME CAUTION before feeling the urge to see Indy 4. The divided reviews here don't really help though. Oh well, I'm mostly interested in the superhero movies only, really (Iron Man was awesome, so should TDK, and Hulk will be worth it to possibly see the genesis of the build to the Avengers grow further) Still, situations like this and my limited movie interest indeed tend to get me down a bit, cause all that reminds me how dire the industry is now. Too many people doing the wrong things, and yes, NOTHING BUT REMAKES. This is why I pick and choose current movies very carefully, and mainly stick with the superhero stuff if it's done well, or other than that, something with an actress I fancy (since they are mostly British, most of that isn't mainstream). Besides that, I am now more interested in classics, and most of my moviegoing is now done in my DVD player!

Still, I do feel a bit down when I hear how awful things are now. Does anyone else get like that? If so, what do you do? Yeah, I know they're just movies, though.

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Poxpower on 05/23/2008 3:21 pm

The Speed Racer movie is like the original?
Didn't seem like that from the previews. Also the originals were boring.

They should make a Dino Riders movie. Wait no that's sort of Jurassic Park 3.


James (Guest) on 05/23/2008 3:34 pm

I mean the way they tried to make the characters look like the cartoons.

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Protoclown on 05/23/2008 3:47 pm

Speed Racer was exactly like the original in that they were both SHITE.

And for what it's worth, the Indiana Jones movie was INSANELY disappointing. Not quite Star Wars prequel level, but it was sorely lacking and does not even COMPARE to the others. I'll get into the whys in my review.


rich (Guest) on 05/23/2008 4:41 pm

temple of doom is my favourite, raiders is the best movie though, crusade is an unexciting comedy with no iconic indy moments at all. will see skull soon.


Two-P (Guest) on 05/23/2008 5:13 pm

I wonder if George Lucas is purposely burying his classic franchises because he thinks they're REAL, and he needs to take them down a peg to prove that HE IS THEIR GOD?


Marsten (Guest) on 05/23/2008 6:21 pm

For anyone interested, I've knocked together a review of the new Indiana Jones film.

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Paul on 05/23/2008 6:31 pm

I feel your pain James. I wonder if the lack of originality is a product of Hollywood's attempt to please our overly saturated, media-centric culture while simultaneously competing with the stream of independent ideas coming from smaller, self-governing media producers such as those found on the internet? These days, Hollywood only seems concerned with producing exciting teasers/trailers that have enough marketable appeal to produce record-breaking ticket sales on opening weekend and writing some semblance of a “story” connecting said flashy images as an afterthought; a niche they are more than happy to fill so long as my stupid ass keeps buying opening weekend tickets all the while hoping deep down inside that "this one won't be like the others."

I suppose you could say we live in a “consumerocracy,” and that by spending my hard-earned money on these cinematic let-down’s, I’m letting studios know it is okay to produce hollow, meaningless exercises in special effects. And until I start casting my vote$ on the few remaining entertainment industries still putting heart into their ORIGINAL works (Indie comics, books, video games), the downward trend will continue… Until I see Dark Knight and forget all of Hollywood’s previous atrocities.

By the way, I’ve decided that swinging from vines with monkeys is the Indy equivalent of jumping the shark.

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RandiLu on 05/24/2008 12:49 am

spoiler (i guess)

I was loving crystal skull until the last 20 mins. Then it went into serious "WTF?" mode. It seemed like lucas had finished 3/4th's of the script and couldn't decided how to finish it. speilberg said that he had some old close encounters footage they could just "re make" and get the movie started.... so awful and it seemed kinda out of place for the series.

plus the whole "the aztec's meaning of gold is "treasure"...just made it sound like an awful made for tv movie about staying in school.


Pounce The Jaguar (Guest) on 05/24/2008 1:10 am

It seems like lucas is just looking to profit off of our nostalgia. Personally that offends me more then anything stupid he does. He can make all of the jar jar's he wants, but the instant he throws it in a star wars movie he is pushing the line. The formula with him is "make 3 good movies, then milk them for all they are worth, then make 3 bad ones, and milk them for all they are worth". Funny how that works because he is playing with our memories. Personally, I'll be the first one with a torch outside his house.

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rorozero on 05/24/2008 10:00 am

I liked the movie. However I thought that Indy's kid swinging from vine to vine with an army of monkeys was just stupid. I also thought that Marion having a teenage son and Indy not knowing that he was a father was a bad move on George Luca's part. It was not as good as the originals of course, but I wasn't expecting it to be.

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alittlebirdytoldmeso on 05/24/2008 10:05 pm

Jezus, y'all is scaring me. I don't want to watch the new Indy now. I'll takes me nostalgia to the grave, I tells ya.


Cruxader (Guest) on 05/24/2008 10:06 pm

I'm to the point that if the movie isn't as good as the first 3, but still decent, I'll be happy with it. It's just good to have Indy back. It would also be nice to see Harrison Ford in a halfway decent movie again. He hasn't been in a good one since Air Force One (19 freakin 97!) George Lucas better hope for his sake that it's at least better than his debacles.. err... I mean prequels to Star Wars. The fans will stop giving him the benefit of the doubt if he messes up FOUR in a row!


Frostor (Guest) on 05/24/2008 10:11 pm

I just saw the movie, and loved it. I hoped (based on that tantalizing shot of the crate during the trailer) that they'd go in the direction they went in, but I didn't think they'd actually do it. I'm glad they did, and I'm glad they did it in the way that they did. This movie exceeded my expectations.

As for all the Lucas-bashing, I won't say give it a rest, (I'm a prequel lover, I admit it, but to each his or her own) but if you didn't like the film, why place your blame all on him? What about Spielberg? What about David Koepp, the screenwriter? It's just a little bit lazy to pin everything on Lucas because one is disenchanted with his later Star Wars efforts. But like I said, to each his or her own.


Benmark (Guest) on 05/25/2008 6:02 am

I'm seeing this in 3 hours. I'm expecting to like it, as I like shitty movies. Hey, I have Mortal Kombat Annihilation on DVD.

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rimmie on 05/25/2008 7:50 am

I have to admit I am a Temple fan. Overall though I love Crusade because excellent film and OMG SEAN is so...yeah he's awesome and I totally hot.

I loved Raiders, however I HATED Marian. I felt she screamed out all of her lines and the part where she is eating the food and talking makes me gag to this day.

I found Willie the least annoying of the girls and so picking from annoying love interests in the films, I am gonna have to say I am a fan of Temple because Willie was less annoying than Marian and Crusade won because it is just that awesome of a film.

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Burn on 05/25/2008 2:43 pm

I felt the movie wasn't paced that well... Too much, too quickly.

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Commanderraf on 05/25/2008 3:47 pm

Hm... I just returned from watching the movie. And I'm kind of dissappointed. Not because the "old age" jokes at the film, but because... well... what where they thinking? It's like there wasn't any interesting artifact left in the world and they managed to include an old Universal B-series movie plot into the Indiana Jones series. I thought it was at sometimes like a mix from "The Attack of the Body Snatchers" and other movies from the time.

Anyway, I still liked Indy's wits and attitude, but it's still a dissappointment.

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Commanderraf on 05/25/2008 3:57 pm

And before anyone starts flaming. I know that Indiana Jones was based on B-Movies, but the ending is just too much even for B-Movies.

Sorry for the double post.


Pounce The Jaguar (Guest) on 05/25/2008 4:31 pm

much agreed about how even though indy is about b-movie stuff, it was just to much. And about blaming other parties, I suppose we could but why? I still have a rage on for lucas anyway haha. Meh I'm still disappointed in spielburg and keopp but if lucas is bold enough to put his name on the writing credits then he deserves whats comming.


WarScarab (Guest) on 05/25/2008 5:52 pm

The Good:
-The chase through the warehouse (not the way they found the damn box)
-The motorcycle chase (how it ended in the university library was brilliant and 100% Indy)
-Pieces of the jungle chase (up until LeBouf started taking plant shots to the crotch while fencing astride two trucks)

The Bad:
-Everything else...from surviving a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator (what?), to being attacked by random capoeira masters who are connected to nothing else at all in the film (what?!), to the giant inter-dimensional flying goddamn saucer (WHAT?!)...and I wish I was kidding

The Ugly:
-Those damn overused computer effects that just suck all the realism and gravitas out of every situation they're introduced into.

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pac-man on 05/25/2008 7:49 pm

I enjoyed Crystal Skull the same way I enjoyed the new Rambo. It was fun to revisit the character, the film makers were true to the series, and if they make another one I'll fucking kill somebody.


James (Guest) on 05/25/2008 8:02 pm

P.S. to Protoclown: I guess I should apologize for defending the Transformers movie earlier. As I didn't know before that this is the wrong place to do that ;-)

I agree with many of the complaints you had, actually, and think there was a lot they could have fixed, but I didn't hate it and thought it got screwed in your 2007 "awards." (As someone said, where was Rob Zombie's "They curse, and bleed, they curse and curse and bleed...oh yeah, all the girls play whores too. Cause it's EXTREME" Halloween? And there were tons of others I dreaded more than TF)

I'm not going to instantly bury it for not being G1 though, as Internet-Hip as that is (as I said, Speed Racer showed us that making it look OMG JUST LIKE THE CARTOON doesn't make the movie work. Which is also why Batman will never go around wearing a gray t-shirt, whether you like it or not. It just doesn't fly off of ink-and-paint)

Thing is, I guess I accept it because TF has many continuities anyway (G1, Beast Wars, Robots in Disguise, Armada/Cybertron/Energon, live action, Animated, comics, etc.), and if you don't like one you can watch another. Even though none is totally perfect, somehow I find something to mark out for (wrestling-lingo, look it up) in each version. Then again, I am just a big TF geek in general, and feel compelled to support anything with the name. Except Animorphs. Also, as much as I'd love things to be just as I remembered ('80s style entertainment), the reality is, for better or worse, you have to adapt to today's styles. I just roll with the punches to a degree. That's why I also accepted TF Animated. Yes it's Teen Titan-esque, but kids like that, so whatever. It is what it is. And I enjoy it. At least Cartoon Network is pushing something new that's a CARTOON (NOTSHOWINGLIVEACTIONMOVIESISSOMETHINGTHATGROWNUPSINVENTED!!!!!!!!!!)

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RandiLu on 05/25/2008 9:57 pm

wow, WarScarab, everything you just said is exactly how I felt about the movie, but I had a little more WTF? emphasis on the flying saucer.

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krish-0 on 05/25/2008 11:27 pm

I still don't understand how so many of you can be that outraged about the flying saucer.

Have any of you ever seen a box that can melt your face off?

How about a cup that can heal bullet wounds?

Because its religious in nature, that somehow gives it more believability?

Crystal Skull was my least favorite of the Indy movies, but come on. It was still a good flick.

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blacksamster on 05/26/2008 1:57 am

Krish-0 --I think the offense is because the other films' supernatural elements at least stem from a legendary/archaeological base that fit the atmosphere of the Indy adventure. Personally, I think 50s style wacky saucer hunting don't suit the role. I almost could have let the alien thing slide if they had stayed dead.


Reb (Guest) on 05/26/2008 3:56 am

"...and Harrison Ford IS Indiana Jones, which is why I'll burn down Lucas's and Speilberg's houses if they replace him with Shia..."

Nothing against the kid, but I'll totally get together with you for some arson if they do try to dress him up as Indy and eke out another movie.

Crystal Skull didn't suck. Mostly because it was very fun to watch. But the Indy franchise is over, it was nice to see Harrison kick some ass again, now lets hold on to the memories we have.

The memories we have on DVD, hopefully.


eddy (Guest) on 05/26/2008 4:10 am

krish-0, like blacksamter said. its not that because its religious in nature that its more believable, its because its religious that makes it more unbelievable. explaining everything with aliens and having them reviving and flying away was just an easy and uncreative way out, it left nothing to the imagination and actually contradicts the other movies: if god is an alien then how do we explain all the past events in the first movies?


Josh (Guest) on 05/26/2008 8:01 am

Hey, there are some spoilers ahead!

I enjoyed Indy 4. It was definitely a popcorn movie, and for some of the purest fans, it will of course, be a disappointment.

I love the original trilogy, and I think that for the most part, KOTCS fit in with the trilogy. There were a few over the top action scenes, just like in the older movies, but in this iteration, they may have just been TOO over the top.


The part with Shia's character swinging like a monkey in the jungle was absolutely ridiculous, and then the monkeys taking his side and beating Commie ass? That was just lame.

In regards to the fridge, it was lead lined (as someone above posted, Spielberg is notorious for showing a one second clip to make something plausible), but that still doesn't mean that Indy would live after that thing flew through the air for a mile.

And the part at the very end with the alien encounter was somewhat ridiculous. Don't get me wrong though, I don't think that it was that far out of line, considering Indy has encountered boxes that shoot lighting, dudes who rip peoples' hearts out (can't forget that they manage to live long enough to fall into a pit of lava!), and a knight who was 600 years old because he drank a cup of water.

End spoilers!

All in all, if you're looking for a fun movie with an old friend, this movie is worth your 8 bucks. Try not to go into it expecting it to be Raiders pt 2, otherwise YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED.

Oh, and Indiana Jones' whip is computer animated, and he fights the Soviets with a lightsaber.


MattK (Guest) on 05/26/2008 11:33 am

I saw it last night. I had no problem with it whatsoever, and this is coming from someone who grew up in the 80s and watched all three films over and over. I have a hard time believing people could have problems with the film. Nothing stretches further beyond reality/probability than what was in the first 3. Sure the monkeys thing was probably about the worst of it, but even that was enjoyable. And of course, the little nod at the end to people afraid that we'd be getting "Mutt Williams and the Continuing Franchise" at the end was great.

And aliens? Honestly, how more far-fetched is that than the spiritual weapons of the first three? The Nazis were about the occult, the Commies were about the superscience. And there have been numerous theories for many years about alien involvement with civilizations of the past. No problem at all with anything in the film. It was Indiana Jones, through and through.

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Paul on 05/26/2008 12:24 pm


Krish-O, I don't think it's that the IDEA of aliens is too farfetched, it's how they PRESENTED them. As I said before, less is always more and to show crystal skeletons spin around and collect their last skull and fly away was just silly. I think a more subtle implication would have been more tasteful. Perhaps a quick glimpse of a single, dusty alien skeleton adorn in traditional royal Mayan attire right before the temple collapses would have been less tacky (Cleary implying that extraterrestrials were worshipped as Gods and that ancient civilization was in part founded with their help). In fact, I think they shouldn't have even showed you anything "alien" until the very, very end. No need to throw in a flying saucer either.

To me, their choice in ending is the equivalent of them redoing The Last Crusade and adding a CG Jesus Christ and the very end. Flexing your CG effects muscle is very un-Indy, if you ask me.

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Purple Man on 05/26/2008 12:37 pm

I've been in Turkey for the past three weeks (supervillainy takes you lotsa places), and haven't seen it yet, but the outraged disappointment over this film has not escaped me.

I don't know what's more depressing - that Lucas has dumped on me yet again, or that I'm still going to fork over my hard-earned funds to go see it regardless. Sometimes, I really hate myself.


Mortigi Tempo (Guest) on 05/26/2008 1:44 pm

Holy shit this movie was horrible for an Indy film... I mean JESUS CHRIST.



krish-0 (Guest) on 05/26/2008 4:18 pm

Paul - very good idea about just showing a dusty skeleton and leaving it at that. That would have been better, and more Indy like.

But I still liked the film.


WarScarab (Guest) on 05/26/2008 5:13 pm

My dislike for this movie has nothing to do with the mcguffins of the past films having religious roots. What made them good goals for Indy was that they had an archaeological basis in history and legend dating back thousands of years, and that even when they and their power were finally uncovered, you still didn't get all the answers. In Crystal Skull it was "Boom, aliens, end of story." Bull.

Additionally, Indy has always been all about fistfights, big explosions, chases, and general mayhem all done with good old fashioned, raw, gritty stunt work. I outlined the parts of Crystal Skull done that way in my above post, and they were good (even excellent in the case of the entire motorcycle sequence). The whole rest of the film was not done that way and as a result completely throws away the spirit of the entire franchise. That is why I get so riled up about this.


Benmark (Guest) on 05/27/2008 6:58 am

Yeah, you guys are right


A more subtle approach would have been a little less "cheesy". A big CG alien face staring an inch from the camera was just as corny as Darth Vader's "Noooooooooooooooo!!!"
I mean.. I liked it though. THe flaws were forgivable... albeit a little silly in presentation.


Dan (Guest) on 05/27/2008 9:21 pm

You guys are taking this waaaaaay too seriously. It wasn't the best out of the series, but I certainly enjoyed it.

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Architeuthis on 05/27/2008 10:33 pm

There's actually a fairly good amount of evidence and hypothesis that the Incas and Mayans were assisted by aliens and they worshiped them as gods.


Mr.SideBurns (Guest) on 05/28/2008 11:30 am

Weakest of the 4 definately, but nice to see Ford in the shoes he belongs instead of shooting about with Asston Cutsher or getting his ass firewalled.

Raiders-Crusade(tie), Doom, Skull.

But wait a minute.. Didn't the creators of South Park foresee this? In episode 609 where Lucas and Spielberg want to add to/remake Raiders. Some consider Skull a sequel to Raiders.. so? Yikes. Maybe Parker and Stone could give me next weeks lottery numbers. Just a thought.


Kevin (Guest) on 05/28/2008 1:23 pm

Amen, MattK! Very fun and great film!

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ginmortal on 05/28/2008 2:39 pm

You know, I just saw it because it was the only show available at the time, I didn't even dare watch the trailers, but hey, I went in, and just laid back and ejoyed it for what it was worth, entertainment, I actually had a good time, had a couple of laughs, but still cringed with the alien/saucer ending. I didn't expect anything, If I had brought in my hopes, like I did for the prequels, it would have broken my heart the same way, so I decided not to expect anything out of it, although I do understand the resentment of all the purists. And no, Im not watching it again, I want to preserve the feeling of enjoyment, if I see it again, I will see the huge holes and will join arsonist gang!!


krish-0 (Guest) on 05/28/2008 4:33 pm

So.....did you all die or something? Was there a suicide bombing at an I-Mockery meeting? I don't think I've ever seen you guys go this long without any kind of an update. It's been almost a week. No quickies or nothing. I'm getting worried.

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Paul on 05/28/2008 7:20 pm

I think I read somewhere on this site that they're on summer vacation and will be back in a week or so. Until then it's just us and our attempts at passing witty judgements. Like Lord of Flies, except with less partial underage boy nudity...I hope.

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Relaxing Dragon on 05/28/2008 10:15 pm

Sounds about right, just gotta wait it out for a bit longer.

Reading through this, it's comforting to see that at least a couple other people enjoyed it. I stand by my enjoyment of it, and I've been an Indy fan since before I could remember (it was before I first saw Star Wars, I know that much).


RetroVision (Guest) on 05/29/2008 10:00 am


Ok, this is what needs to happen: if by any chance in this existence, George Lucas needs to lose his entire freakin' fortune so that maybe, just maybe he can actually start making quality films again. The same is starting to go for Spielberg. I was blown away by Munich recently, but good f*cking God, what happened? Is it that these guys know that even if their films blow that they can still turn a dollar? Methinks this is a lack of motivation to actually try to make a decent picture.

When I first discovered that Indiana Jones was returning to the public eye, I was ecstatic. I discovered the films around 1997 when I was a fourth grader, and during that time, no one really cared about Indy. Sure, you could catch Temple (which, to clear this up first, is my favorite. You Temple of Doom haters can all go work in the mines!!) or Last Crusade on USA and the occasional Raiders showing on ABC, but that was it. Now, Indy has become a hero again in the eyes of this generation, but at what cost? An Indiana Jones film with great potential wrapped up in a sh*tty '50s sci-fi B-Film fest? Thanks, but no thanks. This film was going famously until 10 minutes in to the f*ckfest they cracked open that crate in the Ark warehouse and found that freakin' alien. Hell, at least it wasn't a Gungan.

The classic Paramount logo at the beginning and the titles with the original Indy film font made me nerdgasm, but this film was a flat out sh*tcrock, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Harrison Ford is still one of the greatest action heroes of all time and I'll give props to the rest of the stellar cast, save for the utterly useless Mac (loved Winstone in The Departed, but this role sucked), which I referred to as a "one-dimensional fat British male version of Elsa Schneider that can't make his freakin' mind up about which side he's on" and Cate Blanchett's pseudo-psychic Russian dominatrix. I realize that the Russians did experiment with psi-tactics and ape-soldiers in the Stalin/Lenin days, but this is waaaayy too much to dwell on an Indy picture. Historically in the others, it was like Nazi=bad guys. Thuggees=insane Indian bad guys. You knew that Indy's opposition had a set goal in this world and that was to either kill Jews with their own artifacts like the Ark and Grail or to put kids to huntin' some stones so that your god could kill everything. The only thing the villains had in this one was the misconception that the power comes from the object, not the force behind it. Other than that, it followed its own formula: Russians=delusional.

In all, all I can dwell on is the aliens. No matter what I say about this film, it will always go back to the fact that goddamned aliens were shown in this film numerous times and left Indy and his companions with absolutely nothing to show for it. The fridge and the monkey scenes were simply retarded. I mean, we went from spike chambers and free-for-all melee truck chases to friendly freakin' monkeys and a fridge that apparently can double as a flying bomb shelter with infinite padding. Plus, wouldn't the fallout have killed Indy when he got out of the damned thing? I'm sorry to say it, and I never in my lifetime thought I would, but an Indiana Jones film sucks ass. It pains my fragile heart ot say it, but this movie blew and sucked at the same time. Not even an adult Short Round could have saved this film. Screw you, George Lucas. First you had to go and f*ck with the force and now you had to poison Indy's dates. Have you no shame, or is it just the prospect of getting richer? Parker and Stone had you pegged in the Free Hat episode. Get it over with and "fix" Raiders so you can melt like Toht, already.


Some Guy (Guest) on 05/29/2008 11:38 am

I personally found the movie OK. Yeah, the alien bits were kinda dumb, but everything else was very well done.

Also, holy SHIT is Cate Blanchett hot. Here's hoping she does more villain roles.


Reb (Guest) on 05/29/2008 6:17 pm

I also found the movie okay, but I can see where people would be pissed if they made the mistake of measuring it up to the originals. No way is it gonna touch those.

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StalfrosGR on 05/29/2008 11:00 pm

People are too touchy when it comes to nostalgia. The people who this movie didn't please just simply weren't going to be pleased, period.

I didn't mind it. Shia did fine. Monkeys were stupid, but not stupid enough that I didn't enjoy the movie.

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argonath on 05/30/2008 8:27 am

Thank god they didn't have Shia do the Tarzan yell during that monkey scene. I bet that dick Lucas tried to get Spielberg to include it.

It was fluff, and seeing a grizzled (albeit fit) Harrison Ford on screen as Indy made me think about how fetching old I'm getting, but it was enjoyable fluff. When I finally get all 4 movies on DVD, it will probably be the last one I choose to watch, but it was still better than most adventure movies of the last several years.


WarScarab (Guest) on 05/30/2008 2:26 pm

If this were, say, another entry in the "Mummy" franchise, I'd likely say "Meh, it was kinda fun." But it wasn't. And I'm not willing to lower my expectations of what an Indy film is (expectations which have been met not once or twice but THREE full times, by the way) just so I can pretend this movie wasn't far below what it should have been.


Madam Librarian (Guest) on 05/30/2008 6:45 pm

I like "Temple" better than "Crusade". I didn't think the last one was that funny, plus its content seemed to deviate from the others'. For example, in the first two:
-The girl, annoying as she may be, is always on Indy's side. Even if she spends most of the movie hating him (lookin' at you, Willie)
-There aren't too many heavy emotional parts. When I watch an action movie, I want a bit of setup, a good plot, and lots of explosions and hand-to-hand combat. It's bad enough my friends are all chick flick fans and want me to share in their movie-watching, now you're gonna make me sit through the bonding thing in and Indy movie? Sadists.
-Short Round. I know he's not in the first one, but that kid deserves his own series. The least I can do is mention him here.
And "Raiders", regardless of my personal preferences, is the best movie.

I haven't seen the new one yet. I hope Lucas got rehab for his CGI addiction.


Jonathan Michael Reiter (Guest) on 06/11/2008 10:58 pm

You can't wait for Robocop 4?
I remember the third and hopefully last one, and I can for any more Robocop flicks for as long as it takes Hell to freeze over.

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