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Kill Devil Hills. A Great Name And Vacation Spot In North Carolina.

Why yes, I WOULD like to live here.

As I mentioned in a recent post, we went to Nags Head, North Carolina for an extended Memorial Day weekend vacation with a bunch o' friends from back East. This vacation was extra special for me because it was something I've wanted to do for a long time - have all of us pool our money together so we could rent a really nice place for a week. And man, did it ever beat the hell out of staying at a hotel. We ended up getting a huge 3-story house right near the beach, and when it was all said 'n done, it cost everybody less than a week-long hotel stay would have. Not a bad deal by any means. Well, I promised I would share some photos from that excursion sooner or later, so I've just put up a little collection of some photos that we took. Rather than bore you with historical tidbits about Kitty Hawk or reminiscing about how many crabs I used to catch on the docks of Manteo with nothing more than a piece of string and a chicken drumstick, let's drive right into the pics!

If there's one thing a beach house needs, it's gotta be some quality entertainment. Now, I'll be the first to admit, I'm an awful pool player. Sure, every now 'n then I'll make a crazy shot and act like I planned out all the angles in my head, but the truth is, if I do anything right, it's pure luck. The foosball table, however, that's a game I grew up playing because of my father, and I'm more than happy to make all of those helplessly rod-impaled players obey my every goal scoring command. There was also a poker table down there, but I don't think anybody there really played cards. I sure as hell don't, but I did bring some lenticular shark cards with me just in case. Guess I'll have to break those in another time, because really... who wouldn't want to play with cards that had a bunch of animated sharks on 'em? The joker card even depicts a shark attack, but I digress...

On our first night there, we went to the local shops to pick up some vital beach supplies, and Protoclown found what is bar none the greatest beach towel ever made. How he didn't score a thousand ladies while he proudly sat on the kitten towel will forever remain a mystery to me.

There's a pretty decent 50's style diner near where we stayed, and holy crapballs, did they ever like their Coca-Cola memorabilia.

We paid a visit to the Professor Hacker's Lost Treasure miniature golf course. I've always been a fan of golf courses that go all out with their themes, and this was definitely one of the better ones. After you pay your admission fee, you're taken for a ride in a coal car up the "mountain" and dropped off at the start of your golf game. I mean, your golf adventure! I'm not sure what Professor Hacker's story is, but he either knows how to find some really impressive diamonds, or he's a big fan of The Sims.

We all tried on these great alien glasses, which were sadly too small for any of us to comfortably wear for an extended period of time, but Proto definitely made them look even better by wearing 'em upside-down.

Ok, every beach vacation photo set needs to include a sunrise. So here you are.

Not interested in important beach supplies such as kitten towels, our friend Jhyle found happiness in a Viking helmet. Who wouldn't?

Our party got way out of hand one night and we had to wait for the fire department to arrive and put out the house fire. Ok, so that didn't happen, but I like how this photo looks.

To any of you who enjoy fudge, you'll find more varieties of the stuff in Nags Head and the surrounding areas than just about anywhere on earth. If you ask me, "We ship fudge." should replace "liberty and justice for all" as the motto for this country.

Not only did we find the best beach towel on the planet, we also found the greatest product advertisement. PURIFIES THE BLOOD! MAKES THE WEAK STRONG! I think that's gonna be my new slogan for I-Mockery... what do you guys think?

This was one of my favorite nighttime photos from our deck.

Yes, you too can get nuts (and more) in the Outer Banks.

The upper level of the house was both well lit and well equipped with cheeseballs. By the way, in case you haven't guessed by now, these photos aren't chronologically ordered in any way whatsoever.

One of the best things about where we stayed was that we could walk across the street to the Nags Head Fishing Pier, one of my favorite piers to visit from when I was younger (along with the Avalon pier). It was well stocked with snacks, cheesy arcade games and great views of the ocean.


Even us coal miners can take a break for a fun game o' mine golf here 'n there.


Our friends Malissa and Andrew supplied some additional gaming fun in the form of the Cranium board game, complete with a fresh batch of Play-Doh. As you can see, we put our craniums to good use when dealing with said Play-Doh.

We decided we all had to go out for a real breakfast at least one day, and Stack 'Em High Pancake House was our restaurant of choice. In addition to having some damned fine pancakes, they had this impressive sign. A surfer girl eating a big plate of pancakes while winking at you? I wish I had this hanging on my wall.

The beaches in Nags Head were great, but I've always preferred heading down towards Hatteras. The beaches down thataway are virtually empty and extremely relaxing.

They also have a lot of red jellyfish in the water there...

...and protected colonial nesting birds too.

Naturally, such a remote beach gave Re a chance to put her dance moves to the test while listening to her iPod.

Watching the sun rise is nice 'n all, but watching a bright orange moon rise near 1am was damned cool. It was like a little fire way out in the middle of the black ocean, and this is definitely one of my other favorite photos.

Ok, I'm sure you're all going, "Monster trucks?? What the hell!?" Well, it just so happens that on the drive from Richmond, VA to Nags Head, NC, you pass by Digger's Dungeon - home of the infamous "Gravedigger" monster truck. Re is pictured here in one of the oldest incarnations of Gravedigger.

Here I am in front of one of the newer ones as you can see by the bright new paint job. I've never been a person to follow monster trucking (or car sports of any kind for that matter), but the artwork on Gravedigger is 100% badass.

Another nice surprise was getting a peek into their garage where they were working on some crazy looking Batmobile monster truck! Unfortunately, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle monster truck that I saw the last time I made the drive to Nags Head was nowhere to be found. I guess it was busy crushing members of the Foot clan under its massive wheels.

Fanta apparently has sponsored a monster truck as well. Man, that would suck having to come home and tell the family that your truck was destroyed be orange soda on wheels. How are you supposed to hold your head up after an incident like that?

The final picture I have to share with you today is of this sad little robot mailbox. It looks like he's just holding his hands out with a downtrodden look upon his face as if to say, "Please give me some mail. I'm really lonely."

And now, I share with you a quick lil' mix of some of the only video footage that was taken during our Nags Head trip:

In closing, it was a hell of a fun vacation and I really hope we can do it again. I spent many a summer in Nags Head, and it was good to be back there to see some of our East Coast friends and family... and fudge.


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greenimp on 06/20/2008 6:39 am

wow... monster trucks... minigolf and a cocacola fanatics dream... the only thing more awesome than those three is if they could somehow be conbined...


James (Guest) on 06/20/2008 7:34 am

That was a pretty damn movie clip. You all sing very well.


James (Guest) on 06/20/2008 7:34 am

and by "pretty damn" I meant "pretty damn funny".


Clayman (Guest) on 06/20/2008 7:52 am

Im one for changing the moto of i-mockery...makes the weak strong,thats like...captain america epic!

And i'd really want a viking helmet...i can only get cheap plastic ones that bend out of shape when you wear them :(

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BigMac500 on 06/20/2008 8:33 am

Wow. All that in one weekend, eh? Neat-o.

Did you notice the bikini-pancake lady sign had hinges on it? Maybe there's something really cool behind it, or something not as cool like spare maple syrup.

By the way, you look exactly like one of my friends in the picture where you're standing all bad-ass with Protoclown. It kinda surprised me.

Oh, and that's the best video I've seen all week.

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Duct Tape Ninja on 06/20/2008 8:34 am

Nice, "purifies the blood," I'll hafta use that line when trying to get someone to ingest something utterly disuisting.

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Cruxader on 06/20/2008 9:34 am

That photo of the moon rising was awesome.

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Icculus on 06/20/2008 9:37 am

The picture of Proto with the towel is priceless. I think the only women you can pick up with a towel like that are over 80 and the hang out on the boardwalk in track suits.


absurd_nerd (Guest) on 06/20/2008 10:33 am

I'll just put it out there--that kitten towel would have lured me in like a truck parked outside a playground lures children. Honestly, I wish more people were sporting them! And then the musical stylings of William Joel? Best ever!

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Mac Brookman on 06/20/2008 11:14 am

Seriously Rog, they need to hire you for voice over work, your voice is just perfect for that.

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Jigby Huggletinks on 06/20/2008 11:35 am

I too have experienced the glory of Professor Hacker's Adventure Golf.


Mike Taylor (Guest) on 06/20/2008 12:13 pm

Whaoh. I was listening to Kill Devil Hill by Bruce Dickinson when I went onto I-Mockery. Now I'm freaking out...

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Protoclown on 06/20/2008 12:40 pm

I love my kitty towel

I laughed and laughed and laughed when I discovered it in the store. And then I laughed some more.

I am at work right now so I cannot check the video. I am afeared of what is in it.

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-RoG- on 06/20/2008 1:20 pm

greenimp, combining all three? Sounds like you've got yourself an idea for a highly lucrative miniature golf course. Hop to it!

BigMac500, glad you enjoyed the video. As for the photo where Proto and the guy next to him are standing all badass, it probably surprised you because....... that wasn't me. That was our friend (and old roommate) Scott, who has been in a few older I-Mockery pieces such as the Pillow & Sheet Fort Wars. I figured the fact that he has blonde hair and I have black would've been a dead giveaway, but I guess not haha.

Icculus, the hell you can. That beach towel is jam-packed with visual pheromones to draw in males and females. Protoclown could have anybody he wanted as long as he had that towel nearby.

absurd_nerd, glad somebody else appreciate Billy Joel. I grew up on the guy, and when I saw that one of his cheesiest songs was on the Singstar game that our friends brought along, I had to get in on that shit. Billy Joel may be a bad driver, but he'll always be one of my all-time favorite songwriters. I wish somebody recorded more videos, such as when Jason and Jhyle did a duet.

Mac Brookman, believe me man, if I knew how the hell to break into the voice acting business, I would in a heartbeat. I love doing stuff like that and changing my voice constantly, so I'm just waiting for the knock of opportunity to come rap-a-tap-tappin' on my door.

Jigby Huggletinks, oh you've been there? What'd you think of the golf course? Did you notice the one hole that had a secret path that almost guaranteed you a hole in one? You hit the ball INTO the moving stream of water, and it dumps it into a secret lil' tunnel doohickey and drops the ball off right into or near the hole.

Mike Taylor, yeah man, there are few places that have a name as cool as Kill Devil Hills. I don't know why so many people have those damned OBX stickers... if I were them, I'd have a sticker that said something like, "I survived the blistering, torturous inferno that is Kill Devil Hills."

Protoclown, you shouldn't even wear clothes anymore, just wear the kitten towel wherever you go... but if you're not comfortable with that, at the very least, wear it as a cape over your clothes.

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Cruxader on 06/20/2008 1:29 pm

Protoclown in a kitten towel toga... OH the humanity!

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Silver on 06/20/2008 1:36 pm

-Rog-: Did Jhyle remain on the trunk?

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Silver on 06/20/2008 1:37 pm

My mistake... IN the trunk...


Allan (Guest) on 06/20/2008 1:54 pm

I don't trust that "Ayer's Sarsaparilla" ad. "Ayer" is too close to the word "Aryan" in my book. All you have to do is switch a few of the letters around, replace the "e" with an "a", add an "n", and there you have it. Factor in those slogans, and the fact tha the poster child has (slightly) blond(ish) hair and blue eyes, and you've got yourself a conspiracy.

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Doctor_Who on 06/20/2008 2:52 pm

Looks like an awesome vacation. "Purifies the Blood" would make a great site tagline, although I wouldn't rule out "We Ship Fudge" as a valid choice as well. It's memorable, meaningless, and the Google hits will do wonders to attract that middle-aged Oprah-watching housewife demographic that I-Mockery has yet to crack.

As always, I am surprised to discover that you guys actually have normal voices. I always tend to assume that anyone on the internet sounds either like Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons, or Mandark from Dexter's Lab. Since Youtube has put more and more webmasters in audible form, my predictions' success rate has proven impressive. Kudos on sounding like human beings.

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Fathom Zero on 06/20/2008 4:18 pm

I can only hope to have such fun times in my future.

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BakaGaijin on 06/20/2008 4:20 pm

I try to get down to Nags Head whenever I can. I'm originally from Richmond, VA, but now I live in NYC and it makes it hard to get back to even good old VA, let alone NC. My folks would always take us out to Hattaras when I was younger. As a kid, being isolated like that really sucked after passing through Kitty Hawk and Nags Head and seeing all the good shops and fun things to do. I think there was 1 go-kart place in Hattaras and that was always a good hour walk away from where ever we were at. Ahhhh, memories.

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Protoclown on 06/20/2008 4:42 pm

Ah, I have now seen the footage. I was saying "fuck you!" because my friend Scott had his camera like RIGHT in my fucking face and it was really annoying to me.

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ginmortal on 06/20/2008 6:22 pm

No question about it... that has to be the i-mockery motto, and proto... dude.. I didn't know you could be so eloquent!!!


Shane Skekel (Guest) on 06/20/2008 7:37 pm

Your beach house reminds me of that cabin in Asheville that I stayed at last year.

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Mystik Tomato on 06/20/2008 9:21 pm

Shark cards = awesome.

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briny bill on 06/20/2008 10:54 pm

rog ya sound like a wookie

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Nick on 06/20/2008 11:05 pm

They pack and ship fudge.

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bountyhunterseven on 06/21/2008 2:24 am

man, i was hoping 4 a pic of them shark cards...and a suggestion of where i can get em.


God Complex (Guest) on 06/21/2008 8:10 am

Ah. hearing about such awesome holidays adventures makes me long to quit work, buy a kitten towel and, possibly go on a trip.

And am I the only one who thinks the Ayer's Sarsaparilla poster is even funnier if you imagine the thing the girl has in her left hand is a scapal or something along those lines? Purifies the blood indeed.


MrP (Guest) on 06/21/2008 11:46 am

Huh. So there IS a place called Kill Devil Hills. Motorpsycho did a song called just that a few years back:


BigMac500 (Guest) on 06/21/2008 1:04 pm

Oh. He does have blonde hair, doesn't he? Looked black at first. DAMN SUN!

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10,000 Volt Ghost on 06/21/2008 1:41 pm

Proto, not sure if you ended up buying the green space glasses but I have a pair of them. If you turn them upside down and wear them they're even better.

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-RoG- on 06/21/2008 3:08 pm

Bountyhunterseven, no problemo. I bought mine at a local shop, but I found that you can buy 'em online at (just search for "shark cards").

Furthermore, they posted a video of said shark cards:


Jony (Guest) on 06/21/2008 6:07 pm

Shark cards are cool! You know what would be cooler? Shark attacks cards.


Ken Hart (Guest) on 06/21/2008 7:02 pm

I just goy back from there actually. I spent a couple days only a few blocks away from the Wright Brothers park.

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KillerMcGee on 06/21/2008 11:15 pm

coming to PAX this year, mr. west-coaster?

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eliz.lanier on 06/22/2008 9:21 am

Weird I was there right around when you guys were there. I've been going to Nags Head every summer since I was a kid, only because I live in Virginia though so it's lost a bit of it's appeal. Makes me wanna go back though reading this.

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Ronin S on 06/22/2008 1:23 pm

Wow, I should make a note to visit there with my friends sometime. We had fun a while ago spending a weekend at Niagara Falls, which has a lot of similar tacky tourist stuff to do.


DrRocktopus (Guest) on 06/23/2008 12:11 am

Wow, Rog, I've been a fan of this site for a few years and this has got to be one of the most surreal visits to the site I've ever seen. I grew up a couple of hours from the Nags Head in NC and seeing you in all these places I remember as a kid is positively bizarre. I hope you guys had lots of fun Nags Head is a such a unique place with an absolutely beautiful landscape with wonderfully awful tourist traps.

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Dungeonbrownies on 06/23/2008 1:21 am

I finally get what Rog's hair reminds me of.
V is for vendetta.
thats what it reminds me of.

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ShadowedHogosha on 06/23/2008 11:39 am

Dude, that looks fun as hell. Now I have to get some people and go sometime...I don't live too far from NC and Delaware is boring as hell. Glad to hear that you guys had fun.

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Angryhydralisk on 06/23/2008 12:57 pm

This is gold. And yes, you should make that your site's new tagline. Pure, bonafidea awesome.

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USER 1 on 06/23/2008 4:13 pm

i like to move it move i like to move it move it you like to move it!!!!!!! my bad i was anyways that towel was sweet but it might have been cooler if it was bunnies instead

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Terrible-D on 06/23/2008 11:34 pm

I still think that Castle Danger is the coolest city name I've heard.

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XtinaxFan on 06/24/2008 4:57 pm

Hey RoG - This guy I knew had an Uncle that did voiceovers (for adverts, radio jingles and such nothing big) you mentioned a drama group you're in ages ago and he once said he asked the leader of his and got pointed to an agent who suggested open castings. You live in LA (?) the home of the entertainment industry so ask around and find out where they advertise open castings and auditions.


Tom the Bomb (Guest) on 06/25/2008 12:44 pm

Rog do you own anything *not* purchased from a novelty store in 1987?

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Count Mek on 07/04/2008 7:51 pm

Goddamn, wish I could go on a holiday that fun with people like you =(

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