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obligatory-fourth-of-july-thread

Obligatory Fourth Of July Thread.

The new American Gladiators have NOTHING on Malibu. He's American as apple pie!

The picture says it all. July 4th is upon us so whether you're living in America or not, I hope you'll all share your plans for the weekend in this thread. As for me, I don't have a whole lot planned for today, just the usual hanging out with some friends. I was actually tempted to track down a copy of the old patriotic horror/comedy movie "Uncle Sam" to help get in a more festive mood, but then I remembered how horrible it was. This wasn't one of those so bad it's good films, it was just 90 minutes of pure ocular agony. But damnit, it had a lenticular cover when it came out, so I was naturally powerless against renting it at least once. Llllllllenticularrrrrrrrr...

On Saturday, however, I'm making a day trip out towards Big Bear Lake to visit a friend and explore the area. I don't know much about the place, so if any of you have suggestions about things to check out there, I'm all ears. It may be an area with a lot of natural beauty, but the first thing that caught my eye is that they have a place called Super Bear Arcade. If there's one place I'm visiting, it's an arcade with the words "Super" and "Bear" in the name. I honestly can't think of a more patriotic way to spend some time this holiday weekend and you can bet your ass I'll return to you with some more details and pics of the joint.

I hope all of you find similarly funtastic ways to distract yourself this weekend. And hey, when you're done sharing your weekend plans in this blog thread, check out some of our Fourth of July articles:

The Underappreciated Art of Firecracker Labels:
http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/firecracker-labels

The Turtle Family Tries to Enjoy a Fourth of July Celebration:
http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/turtles-4th-of-july

Over The Top: An Important Film About Arm Wrestling, Truck Driving, and Love:
http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/over-the-top
(hey, it's the most American movie I've ever reviewed)

Now get out there and celebrate with some explosives or whatever floats your boat, because Malibu loves you.

19 comments

User avatar

Styled Executioner on 07/04/2008 5:21 am

Being English I'm not really up on the American way of celebrating the 4th of July (other than what I've seen in movies) but I will assume it's celebrated much the same as November 5th, only with more flags,is.

So yes, I plan to get shit faced and dangerously mess about with explosives, possibly blowing half of someone's face off, most likely my own. I will then set fire to a load of old wood and cause complete deforestation in my local area whilst attempting to sing the Star Spangled Banner.

Is this how it's celebrated or am I way off?



User avatar

Silver on 07/04/2008 6:10 am

Hmmm... Even if my Mexican blood does not allow me to identify myself with celebrating the 4th of July, I think I might just give El Serpento a call and have some beers, a barbecue and more friends to celebrate something more important to me: Weekend after a tough week at college.



User avatar

Tom Foolery on 07/04/2008 8:35 am

Styled Executioner, how does one celebrate Guy Fawkes Night? I'm from the US, but work for a British company. I've been trying to get my co-workers to celebrate the holiday, but nobody knows anything about it being that nobody here is from Britain. In fact last November, when I setup confetti to fall on my boss's head when he stepped through the door and I yelled "Happy Guy Fawkes Day", he just stood there with a confused and angry look on his face.



Guest

mr_evilmonkey (Guest) on 07/04/2008 9:02 am

I want to try and sell my motorcycle and have Chinese food -what its patriotic



Guest

melonian (Guest) on 07/04/2008 9:29 am

is it me or that gladiator looks exactly like Mr Burbank?



User avatar

Mac Brookman on 07/04/2008 9:30 am

You celebrate the fifth of November by burning a Guy.



User avatar

Doctor_Who on 07/04/2008 9:36 am

Ah yes, July Fourth. Can there be any more worthy way to celebrate a holiday than blowing things up while drunk? I myself have such a grand stockpile of fireworks that I may well be in violation of the Geneva Convention.

If at any point during the day you hear someone slur "Dude, watch this!" followed by an explosion capable of causing the planet's poles to switch places, you can rest assured that following it will lead to me.



Guest

Shane Skekel (Guest) on 07/04/2008 10:30 am

Just the usual shtick; and Over the Top is much more fun to watch than Disney & Pixar's Wall-E.



User avatar

BigMac500 on 07/04/2008 10:34 am

Well, living in Canada means practically no celebrations, but a family up the street moved here from the U.S. not too long ago, and they always have a little display of fireworks.

As for me, I just bought an old 10-speed bicycle, so I'm going to rip up the pavement with curly-handlebar goodness all weekend.

And I have to say Malibu does look a fair bit like the Burbankster.



User avatar

simogene on 07/04/2008 11:22 am

Well I WAS going to set up my son's new blow up pool and then sit in it with him, but it's been raining all day, so that's been a wash... and we were going to see fireworks but my husband doesn't want to go now, because he sat in the rain to watch them LAST year, and he doesn't want to do it again.

So I'll be eating take out pizza surrounded by party poopers and rain.



User avatar

briny bill on 07/04/2008 1:22 pm

unfouchnetly (and once again i briny bill can not spell) i live in utah one of the party pooper states however i have stock piled a ton of morters which are highly illegal so i will have some fun



Guest

Joitheartist (Guest) on 07/04/2008 3:13 pm

I just got back from purchasing $70 worth of pyrotechnics, and will be meeting up with my friend who probably has an equal amount. I heard an announcement on the radio the other day that SoCal residents are "strongly encouraged" to attend professional fireworks shows instead of doing their own. SCREW THAT! I acknowledge the right to burn my eyebrows off in sheer stupidity if I want to!

Mmmm....fire....



Guest

AIF (Guest) on 07/04/2008 6:04 pm

Yay, I live on the way to Big Bear! That's awesome.

I can't say I recall ever going to the Super Bear Arcade, but the one in Running Springs (my own humble little town) is very nice despite its small size. The Simpson's Game, Marvel vs. Capcom, DDR, Ms. Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Galaga, Centipede, claw machine, air hockey, digital jukebox, X-Boxes. They cram a lot of fun into such a tiny building. And the owner is a really cool guy.

Not that I or my friends are trying to lure you into a local establishment so as to ambush you and trap you in inane conversation. Not even close to what we had planned.

However, if you insist on going straight to Big Bear, there's a neat little Nepalese store up there. Get big flouncy shirts, gaudy stone jewelry, or an ashtray shaped like a human skull. Try to strike up a conversation with the awkwardly smiling foreign man behind the counter who nods and says yes to everything (he's the shit.) Good times for everyone.

I'm done.



User avatar

DarkfireTaimatsu on 07/04/2008 6:20 pm

I have off work today. I usually start work at 6:30, and it's now 7:20. I'm already bored to death.



User avatar

greenimp on 07/04/2008 8:04 pm

well, im australian, so if we catch any americans celebrating over here, we may very well have to thrrough yogurt at them, many, many tubs of yogurt.



User avatar

Count Mek on 07/04/2008 8:07 pm

It's the 4th..? Oh damn, I just missed it. >>
Oh well, means nothing to me anyway, being English.



User avatar

Jigby Huggletinks on 07/04/2008 11:50 pm

Ladies and gentlemen, I just spent my Independence Day at a Weird Al Yankovic concert.



User avatar

Styled Executioner on 07/05/2008 10:29 am

Tom Foolery, You basically celebrate November 5th (we call it bonfire night, I dunno if it's a regional thing or if everyone calls it that)by basically burning a load of old shit you find lying about with lashing of lighter fluid and other flammable substances; Buying the most unsafe fireworks you can find from a shifty Pakistani man in an abandoned warehouse; So much beer you need to clear a room and drive at least three van journeys to get it all home.

That's pretty much the ingredients of a good bonfire night. Just mix them all together and watch out for the odd firework which flies into the crowd and causes severe burns to a young girl's face.



User avatar

Blaster Atoms on 07/06/2008 5:01 am

Well, since large portions of the forest around us are on fire, we didn't do any fireworks this year. Lousy California... I did barbecue some carne asada though.



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