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Dracula Is A Pill Popper!


I knew it! Dracula is a bona fide pill popper! Just look at the package for these blood capsules and you'll see all the proof you need. He's poppin' pills like they were Halloween candies! Come to think of it, a lot of horror & sci-fi icons we celebrate became monsters because of too much exposure to certain chemicals. The Toxic Avenger, C.H.U.D., Jack Frost, countless zombies and more... all of 'em had too much exposure to chemicals in one way or another. With that in mind, is it really too hard to believe that a drug addict would wake up one day and decide that he was a creature of the night who had to suck blood from the necks of the innocent for nourishment? Maybe they should put Dracula on those new "I Lost Me To Meth" campaigns that I've been seeing all over the place. You know what? I'm gonna do the job for 'em and make that poster myself...

Yo Dracula. If, you know... you need somebody to talk to, I'm here for ya man.

Yeah, I could definitely see that poster at a bus stop or in a subway. Whaddaya think?

Survey: What other horror monsters/icons do you think show possible signs of drug abuse, and what specifically do think they're on?



Tara (Guest) on 09/05/2008 10:56 am

Frankenstein would make a good pot head.

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Mr. Noodlehead on 09/05/2008 10:59 am

28 days later zombies have had too much cocaine or amphetamines


fat rodman (Guest) on 09/05/2008 11:14 am

known fact

the mummy is a heroin addict


Albino Kitty (Guest) on 09/05/2008 11:24 am

Wolfman, for steroid abuse.


Peter (Guest) on 09/05/2008 11:38 am

It seems like there is at least one lush in a lot of horror films. The recent Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or has anyone seen the French film High Tension?


RebeccaOTool (Guest) on 09/05/2008 12:06 pm

Well, we've all seen Chucky smoke weed. And Freddy had the intravanious nightmare-kill.


val (Guest) on 09/05/2008 12:08 pm

Yeah, that gal from Tension was definately on some hallucinogenic mushrooms.


John Edwards (Guest) on 09/05/2008 12:38 pm

I think Michael Myers is on LSD. The way he just walks around like a zombie or some shit.


Scat Puppy (Guest) on 09/05/2008 12:50 pm

I dunno if anyone ever caught this, but I watched Frisky Dingo just recently where Killface and Awesome X (Barnaby Jones) are in a sewer. When Awesome X hears something, he cowers behind Killface and says "Maybe it's a C.H.U.D!"

Also, i'd say that Cthulhu was an alcoholic. Having to wait on the stars to become right again so he can emerge from the sea is a strain on the sanity.

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Thanos on 09/05/2008 1:07 pm

I can see why you'd make the case for Cthulhu being an alcoholic... but I've got inside word that his problem is much more serious.

He's totally addicted to morphine. That's why he's such a lazy shit and never gets off his ass to destroy this world.

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McFly on 09/05/2008 1:56 pm

I think zombies are addicted to weed and crack, because that the majority of the brains that they seem to get are from pot and crack heads.

The creature from the Black Lagoon is probably on Ecstasy, which is why it is always found in the water (needs to keep hydrated).

I agree with the point brought up about the werewolf being addicted to steroids, but I think he makes a cocktail with speed in it as well.

Pinhead may also be on X, along with having weird S&M Fetishes. He may be in the same sex addition clinic as David Duchovny.

And finally, Wilfred Brimley (ooh, scary!) is just a Quaker Oats junkie; but we already knew this.

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foolfighter009 on 09/05/2008 2:01 pm

Frankenstein shows us that lighting infact, can be a drug.


montork (Guest) on 09/05/2008 2:30 pm

YES! that is awesome! class A i love the look on his face too, i fact i should print this and hang it around town,


Steve (Guest) on 09/05/2008 3:13 pm

That Booberry ghost appears to be made of more smoke than usual...

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testtube on 09/05/2008 3:28 pm

Bela Lugosi WAS ACTUALLY addicted to drugs you know...

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GreenPeaness on 09/05/2008 4:51 pm

Karloff? Sidekick? FUCK YOU! Karloff did not deserve to smell my shit! That limey cocksucker can rot in Hell for all I care!


JimmyJoeJoe (Guest) on 09/05/2008 5:50 pm

Well, as Patrick Bateman was a rich, successful 80s Yuppie, we can safely assume he was on Coke. Given psychotic violent episodes, I think we can assume he also does PCP. See kids? Dont mix PCP and Coke. One or the other only at a time.

*the NBC logo flies across the screen*
"The more you know..."

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Captain Awesome on 09/05/2008 6:15 pm

I'd bet Wolfman is on the PCP, or a Doom Beserker pack.

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CannedParadox on 09/05/2008 11:40 pm

Jason Voorhees is addicted to nose spray.


bens (Guest) on 09/06/2008 6:41 am



Kris (Guest) on 09/06/2008 10:43 am

People; let's not make any assumptions here. You'll make an ass of you AND me. The wolfman is NOT a steroid addict. SHE is actually a professional female body builder with a chemical dependency on testosterone.

Michael Myers huffs spraypaint in his mothers bedroom. That's why his face is so white.

Danny Bonaduce is a known addict to everything, although im not sure if he really qualifies for this list according to the given stipulations. I say anyone addicted to everything that hosted a child-star reality show and has red hair should definitely fit the category of monster/horror icon.

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crazyozzyfan87 on 09/06/2008 12:07 pm

Freddy is addicted to acid only takes one bad trip to drive you crazy


ColdFusion (Guest) on 09/06/2008 1:42 pm

Creature from the Black Lagoon is obviously a backwater redneck, so it's safe to assume he's drinkin' mouthwash and sniffing glue in his spare time..

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10,000 Volt Ghost on 09/06/2008 4:31 pm

Freddy Kruger - Hypnocil.

THEM! - Sugar High

Vigo the Carpathian - Naproxen

Leprechaun - Shamrock Shakes (Jade Meth)

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Nick on 09/06/2008 5:08 pm

Take it from me, kids. Meth is not cool.

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Nick on 09/06/2008 5:12 pm

Seriously, it's not cool.

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Beardy Goodness on 09/06/2008 8:37 pm

Well, I don't know what the wolfman is on, but it's guaranteed to be some crazy shit.

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EchoCharlie on 09/06/2008 8:38 pm

Candyman? Too much huffing bug spray...

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-RoG- on 09/07/2008 12:57 pm

"Freddy Kruger - Hypnocil."

10,000 Volt Ghost, heheh, I was waiting for somebody to say that.

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Willem138 on 09/07/2008 3:34 pm

Dr. Herby West - Heroin

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Fatacula on 09/08/2008 9:30 pm

Michael Myers from the Rob Zombie Halloween remake made me want to drink.... A LOT! Anything to take away the memories! I think that makes him an enabler, or something...

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