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When Monsters Become Helpless Slingshots: Bunjie Battle Monsters!

We were made to be abused. Yeah... life is awesome.

Target is always one of the first places I stop when Halloween season begins, not just because they decorate their seasonal section so well, but because they usually have some great exclusives. I'm sure you've already seen their Domo-Kun setup this year (click here if you haven't), but out of all their new Halloween novelty items, one of the products that really caught my eye was Bunjie Battle Monsters. Why? Because they look so sad and cheap.

The idea behind these monsters is that you can stretch out their arms by sticking your fingers into the pockets built into their hands while pulling back on their feet. You then aim them at the target (no, they don't include a nice one to hang on the wall, you literally just have to use the target on the front of the cardboard packaging which is partially covered by promotional graphics) and then let 'em soar through the air. Now, I must admit, turning monsters into slingshots is definitely an original idea, but there are quite a few problems with these toys...

First off, you may notice the promotional text on the package where each monster proudly proclaims, "I SCREAM!" Well, out of the fifteen monsters that were in stock, only two of them actually made the screaming sound when they come into contact with something. Furthermore, their so-call "screams" aren't anything of the sort. Instead, if you can find one that actually works, the only sound it will make is the ultra-generic "oooooo-weeeeee-oooooo" siren sound that we've all heard countless times before since 99% of cheap Halloween products use that exact same sound.

It's like torturing a depressed monster on the rack. Sounds fun, eh kids?

And then there's the figures themselves. Many of them had already been stretched out way too far, so it was hard finding ones without any of the rubbery tubing exposed. Exposed or not, I will at least give them credit for "Soaring over 20 feet" because they do shoot pretty far. While the Vampire was nowhere to be found (presumably because he was too embarrassed to show his face), I did manage to get the Skeleton, the Eye, and the Zombie. The Skeleton is your run o' the mill pile of bones, nothing particularly interesting about him unless the snake crawling down his ribcage somehow gives you cause for excitement. The Eye is probably my favorite of the group, not just because it's a cyclops humanoid eyeball, but it makes me think of Slim Goodbody for some reason. And anything that reminds me of Slim Goodbody is aok in my book. I grew up watching that creepy guy on TV and I'm sure countless other people found his skin-tight flesh-colored unitard, which displayed the various systems of the human body, to be absolutely disturbing. If you've never had a nightmare about Slim Goodbody, then you didn't grow up in the eighties. And then there's the zombie...

We were made to be abused. Yeah... life is awesome.

That is one SAD looking motherfucker right there. When I first saw him, I thought it was Frankenstein, but I guess the exposed brain and flesh wounds makes him a zombie? Honestly, he looks more like a hobo who has lost the will to live. Then again, when your existence is compromised of being flung against a cardboard target tacked on a wall, I guess there's not too much to be happy about.

Or just make up your own games because we sure have no idea what we were going for when we made these toys!

As sad as the toys may look, they sure are excited about the Bunjie Battler game according to all the promotional text. The target shot game has a really bizarre scoring system that seems like something the creative department pulled out of their asses at the last second before sending the text off to the printer. "+30 points if it did something really cool - like hook on the target and hang there or land in a sitting position." Nice randomness there... why not throw in some more such as "+50 points if it did something really cool - like, you know, like it flies through the air and, like, hits the fan and like lands in your dad's tomato soup and then he shouts 'Well I never!' as you and your friend give each other a high-five." I think it could work. The scoring system is flawed anyway... "+15 points if it lands face up (so you can see its eyes)... +10 points if it lands face down (so you can't see either eye)." But what if you're shooting with "The Eye" monster whose entire body is just one big eye? I know, I know... I just blew your miiiiiiiiind! I also love this bit of promotional text, "Bunjie Battle is all about fun. After you've played this game a few times, try making up your own games. Just make sure everyone understands and agrees to all the rules before you start!" Dear god, it's like they don't even know how to make these toys interesting for more than a few minutes, so they're just hoping you can figure out some way to make them exciting.

The Senario company doesn't even mention the Bunjie Battle Monster toys on their web site. Perhaps they're ashamed of them? All I know is that somebody needs to get that zombie some help and fast, because he's headed down a dark path...



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Doctor_Who on 09/21/2008 10:35 pm

The eyeball guy is pretty awesome.

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ceti on 09/21/2008 11:27 pm

The Slim Goodbody link doesn't go anywhere.

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-RoG- on 09/22/2008 12:00 am

Hmm, try again, it seems to be working for me.

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Terrible-D on 09/22/2008 12:18 am

I shudder at the mention of Mr. Goodbodys' name.


PoGo (Guest) on 09/22/2008 12:33 am

I have a monkey like that. It's basically the same deal except instead of the generic halloween noise mentioned, its a horrible monkey screech that reeks of sheer terror. In fact because of it, I felt bad for the him and never played with it again. He now sits on a shelf next to a Mr T. doll and an old 80's Hulk Hogan figure.

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greenimp on 09/22/2008 1:46 am

"soars over 20 ft huh?" just far enough.... just far enough...

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CarpetGnome on 09/22/2008 2:08 am

I would really enjoy a whole special pictorial of you and a friend "Doing the Bunjie battle"..... it'd be awesome.... especially with your unique sense of humor.


Formica (Guest) on 09/22/2008 3:06 am

how come you dont do these halloween product review thingies as peices in the grab bag?

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Silver on 09/22/2008 7:24 am

+100 points if Dracula sticks to the victim and sucks its blood.

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saturnknight on 09/22/2008 8:06 am

I think launching suprise attacks on family members who happen o be sleeping or walking down the hall way

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McFly on 09/22/2008 8:53 am

50 Points: If it does a jig
75 Points: If it does your taxes
100 Points: If it runs for congress
150 Points: Getting the zombie into rehab

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SunnyD on 09/22/2008 10:25 am

I just found out is selling the colelctor's edition box set of Nightmare on Elm Street (brand-new) for 22 dollars! Oh happy days!

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-RoG- on 09/22/2008 10:43 am

PoGo, screaming monkeys are awesome, consider yourself fortunate to own one.

CarpetGnome, thanks but I doubt I'll be doing much more with the Bunjie monsters this season... they're too depressing heheh.

Formica, if I don't think there's enough to say about a Halloween product to warrant a full review in the grab bag (as was the case with these toys), I'll review it here in the blog... that way they still get featured on the site instead of being tossed aside.

McFly, Damnit, now I want a monster to do my taxes.

SunnyD, holy shit, you're right! 22 bux is one HELL of a good deal. If any of you have been waiting to get the Nightmare on Elm Street box set, NOW would be the time to do so. Here's a quick link to it.

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Pandajuice on 09/22/2008 11:25 am

Good call SunnyD. I've had my eye on that box set for quite some time now and have held off ordering it since I'm temporarily in the UK. Maybe I'll order it now though and have it shipped to my parents' house in the states in case this $22 deal is a very short one.

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Pandajuice on 09/22/2008 11:28 am

Ah I forgot to say that being a child of the 80s, I desperately avoided any of the classic horror movies for fear of nightmares. So the first time I actually saw Nightmare or Hellraiser was just a few years ago after being inspired to see them by Rog's love of them on this website, and I loved every minute of every one of them.

So I wanted to thank you for that Rog or I might have missed out on many of the horror classics forever.


Dantalion (Guest) on 09/22/2008 12:14 pm

wtf? i just finished reading another article on X-Entertainment about this same thing, written only one day apart.
what are the odds? then again, we don't have target in singapore so maybe greater then i think, but still.

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Mental Pooperscooper on 09/22/2008 2:25 pm

Crap pogo you beat me to the monkey sory...o well at least i can be happy in knowing that mine has a leather hat-thingy and a cape, I love that toy

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DarkfireTaimatsu on 09/22/2008 3:57 pm

Man, everybody beat me to reporting on the Flying Screaming Monkeys. I have three of them, coz my mother didn't know what else to get me last Decemberween.

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Geminate on 09/22/2008 9:07 pm

I wonder if I could sue, after 10,000 shots of hyper-extending my fingers, surely there must be a case in that? No?

Well, how about you're having a Bunjie Battle Monsters war and you shoot one right down your friend's throat and he chokes to death? Huh? Yeah? Like that one?

C'mon show me the money!

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-RoG- on 09/22/2008 9:39 pm

Pandajuice, no problem at all man. One of the best things about running this site is I get to expose people to all the little absurdities that amuse me in life. If I've introduced you to some cool old movies, games or toys, then that's pretty spiffy in my book.

Dantalion, I know, shocking isn't it? I'll go sue his ass right now for writing about the same thing I did! It was mine first! Nah, the web is a big place and a lot of sites are bound to review much of the same stuff. I used to help X-E out back in the day with some design work 'n what not when that site was still pretty new. We always laughed at how similar our interests were. Plus, when you factor in the fact that Target sells all the same stuff nationwide and they're pretty much the best when it comes to major retailers that spookify their stores for Halloween season, it's not surprising that we'd feature some of the same stuff. Our crossing paths with product reviews is like when the Ghostbusters crossed the streams. Sure, it's dangerous, but in the end, they SAVED THE WORLD. Ok, I don't think we're doing that... but still, the web is a big place and there's plenty o' room for our sites (and MANY more) to review whatever Halloween products they can get their hands on.

Mental Pooperscooper / DarkfireTaimatsu , I envy you both, for I have no screaming monkey. Well... I did at one point, but the Humane Society came and took him away.

Geminate, now that works. Any opportunity to murder one of my dearest friends with a puppet monster, is obviously something worth exploring. Hey, it worked in those Puppet Master movies, right?


nitexmare (Guest) on 09/26/2008 8:32 pm

lmao. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. And laughing+sore throat=pain. But at the store in my town there are farm animals like that. My nephew won a cow one, so we gave it to my dog. She loved chomping on it and making it moo. I took it away after a while though, because the speaker inside was pretty much bitten to shit.

It really wasn't that fun either. I shot it a couple of times and was like, well that's marvelous.

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