My friend Karen is training to be a nurse, and today she sent me this picture of the fucked up Satan mannequin she has to practice her stuff on. She actually has to get close to this thing and practice life saving techniques on it, take its readings, etc. I certainly don't need any medical instruments to get the only real reading you need to collect off this fucking thing: it's pure evil.
Apparently they all have breasts and both sex organs too. You know, just to cover all the bases, because I'm sure there are lots of hermaphrodites with breasts, tracheotomies, and a single, insanely dilated pupil with the black blood of evil pumping through their veins who are in dire need of medical care. You never know.
I'm going to have nightmares tonight because of this fucking thing.
But you know how I've just realized I'm going to make an awesome father someday? Because the first thing I thought of after I completely pissed myself was this: if I ever had kids, I am totally getting my hands on one of these things and sitting it at the foot of their bed in the middle of the night.
Darkfloyd on 09/27/2008 12:21 am
Scary. It'll get possessed and slaughter a nursery.
Fast Eddy (Guest) on 09/27/2008 12:37 am
That eye is completely unnecessary.
Some demented folks working at the mannequin factory, apparently.
sgfaz (Guest) on 09/27/2008 12:48 am
"Today we will be having an Exorcism, class."
Mister Tea on 09/27/2008 1:00 am
Ah, so THAT'S what Estelle Getty has been up to...
Sean (Guest) on 09/27/2008 1:43 am
I think I saw this being sold in the back of a Swank magazine. Tempting...
KoMoDo (Guest) on 09/27/2008 2:10 am
It looks to me like the heshe's having a WaCkY seizure!!!
mdclone (Guest) on 09/27/2008 2:12 am
The tracheotomy is a nice touch.
Dungeonbrownies on 09/27/2008 2:37 am
obviously this was made so damn scary so that in the case of freakishly injured persons the trainees wont be fazed. that or theyre using spare parts
Viteh on 09/27/2008 2:44 am
How is she going to practice her mouth to mouth resuscitation when that thing looks like it is going to suck the soul out of your body as soon as you touch its lips??
SGFAZ (Guest) on 09/27/2008 3:14 am
Grandma? Go back to Hell where you belong!
Fairy (Guest) on 09/27/2008 3:15 am
Mister Tea: LOL!
JakeOfAllTrades on 09/27/2008 3:53 am
It looks like Norman Bate's mother sorta.
That movie ending freaked me out...
Zbu (Guest) on 09/27/2008 6:20 am
It looks like a special effect from Tales from the Darkside. A really bad one.
TheDoomThing on 09/27/2008 8:27 am
Why does that mannequin have two differet eyes,
one with big pupils and one with small?
It still looks like its going to suck your soul when you get close to it.
Skate (Guest) on 09/27/2008 9:31 am
The Doom Thing, I think it'll suck more than your soul if you know what I mean.
Jay-tee (Guest) on 09/27/2008 9:34 am
You mean it'll suck his penis? It was his penis, right? I think it was his penis.
Angryhydralisk on 09/27/2008 11:33 am
Reminds me of health class about 7 years back. Except we didn't do actual CPR on it. We just kinda blew on it.
GREAT LEARNING! I CAN SAVE LIFE NOW!
LadyMage on 09/27/2008 12:13 pm
I think the pupil thing is to show how eyes can look fully dialated and the oppsite of that, but that doesn't help the whole WTF AUGH! factor of the thing, and they might as well have been bloodshot too cause I am sure that can happen
TheRyno665 (Guest) on 09/27/2008 12:35 pm
You do realize that just by posting that pic, I'm sure sales of that Real Doll...uh, elderly medical practice dummy thing...have just increased by 300%.
Floyd Mayweather Jr. (Guest) on 09/27/2008 12:43 pm
Looks like Ricky Hatton when I knocked his fucking ass out. BIATCH!
Mental Pooperscooper on 09/27/2008 1:20 pm
TheRyno665-you mean they've sold 3 now?...well now at least i know how the worlds gonna end; not with four horsemen destroying everything, with four creepy-hermaphrodite-soul suking things spiting acid and doing God knows what else...
I'm gonna go cry now
Shawn_the_Donut (Guest) on 09/27/2008 2:18 pm
I want it!! I love evil looking things!
Doctor_Who on 09/27/2008 2:39 pm
If a patient ever comes in looking anything like that, then they are clearly dead and have been for weeks. Fit the thing with a toetag, stat!
Guitarocker on 09/27/2008 2:39 pm
Karen has my deepest sympathy.
azrael2514 on 09/27/2008 5:54 pm
It kind of looks like a dressed up E.T. only partially deflated... and spawned by Lucifer.
XtinaxFan on 09/27/2008 6:11 pm
I'd tap that XD
Creepy-critters on 09/27/2008 6:44 pm
Proto, I'm sorry to say that we nerds don't reproduce. We convert
Zerstoren (Guest) on 09/27/2008 6:57 pm
My recommendation for dealing with this is a shotgun and a flamethrower
Ronin S on 09/27/2008 7:22 pm
My guess is the hospital officials were really cheap and asked for one cobbled together from spare parts at the mannequin factory.
Maybe they also wanted to ensure no one would contemplate having sex with it. Unless they were seriously demented.
saturnknight on 09/27/2008 8:17 pm
it's like a poor mans sex doll
Cereal Rapist (Guest) on 09/27/2008 8:35 pm
Looks like John McCain's daughter.
ScaryRedMonster on 09/27/2008 10:11 pm
If my penis wasn't square, I'd totally stick my wee wee in that hole in it's neck.
bountyhunterseven on 09/28/2008 12:38 am
now, why do i know the name of these training dolls as "ANNIE"??
and what the HELL is over hr shoulder??? LIMBS??!!??
HowardC on 09/28/2008 12:45 am
About the dilation thing...
Having one pupil unable to focus is a sign of a stroke. Having said that, I think they went a tad overboard, and well couldn't they have just told the students that instead of giving it a freakish pop-eye?
Smily. (Guest) on 09/28/2008 2:21 am
Thanks proto, this actually got me in the "creeped the fuck out" mood for halloween.
my question, if it dies, is that good or bad on the nurse test?
Silver on 09/28/2008 3:41 am
My hair turned gray after seeing that photo.
mannikin tom (Guest) on 09/28/2008 10:31 am
Hey, I make these things for another company. And I'm only a little bit demented.
These things are hideous for a reason. If you are in a wreck and your innards are lying about, you don't want the EMT to freak out and freeze up. They make these things as nasty as possible to try to prepare people for the real horrors they will encounter. Karen will see worse things. I admire her courage, I couldn't do her job.
Price (Guest) on 09/28/2008 11:38 am
Holy shit. That is unbelievably disturbing.
Bree (Guest) on 09/28/2008 12:52 pm
The more you stare at it, the more it looks like Phyllis Diller.
Chicken Nugget (Guest) on 09/28/2008 12:53 pm
That has to be one of the scariest things I've seen in a long time. Evil!
Ryan (Guest) on 09/28/2008 4:19 pm
My Grandma...grandpa makes a great volunteer. you thought it was just a dummy!
The dilated pupil runs in the family.
Goosecoid Kid (Guest) on 09/28/2008 5:11 pm
I agree 100% with the blurb at the end. I could see myself locking any misbehaving kids I had in a closet with it for a few hours until they were ready to behave themselves.
McFly on 09/29/2008 8:28 am
It looked like she just saw the Ark of the Covenant, but it may be due to what happens to her after hours that makes her look so shook up. The fact that she has her sex organs seems completely unnecessary to medical training, but who am I to judge.
SPINAL on 09/29/2008 3:40 pm
Is that you, GrandMammy?
Geminate on 09/30/2008 12:00 pm
Oh no! It has possessed Protoclown and has him doing its evil, upon children no less!!!
SGFAZ on 10/02/2008 8:23 am
BURN IT! BURN IT!
bicostp on 10/02/2008 8:47 am
It looks like Data's grandma.
sgfaz (Guest) on 10/02/2008 7:49 pm
I'd hit it...Across the head with a cast-iron skillet.
mannikin tom (Guest) on 10/02/2008 10:05 pm
My friends, you ain't seen nothing yet....
CPC (Guest) on 10/03/2008 3:13 pm
I saw one of these in college, and they are anatomically correct. My mother-in-law said a guy got caught using one as a "Real Doll" when she was in nursing school!
yelinna (Guest) on 11/01/2008 12:16 am
I've seen corpses that look better and healthier that this goddammed evil-possesed doll.
I'm gonna have nightmares tonight :(
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