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A Nightmare On Any Street.

Fuel injection! Put your pedal to the metal, Dan!

If any of you are in the market for a new car at the moment, you might be interested in this eBay auction I stumbled onto the other day. Normally, I care for automobiles about as much as I do for sneakers, but as you can see, this isn't your average car. It's a 1983 Chevrolet Camaro themed after the A Nightmare On Elm Street films. In my dreams (no pun intended), this thing would have a gearshift made of bones and a car horn that plays the Elm Street theme song... but it's not quite that cool. What it does have, however, are some hilariously cheesy airbrushed graphics that I'm sure you'll appreciate. After all, we're talking about a seller who promotes the car with verbiage such as, "Freddy Krueger's back, & pissed & now he has 1200 Ponies!" Oh yeah, this is only gonna get better.

Burn rubber!

Yes, it has Freddy's face slashing through the flames on the side of the car, but that's far from the highlight of this car. You see, when you lift up the hood, you are treated not only to a ridiculous engine (complete with nitrous oxide system), but two airbrushed drawings, one of what I can only presume is a lost soul, and one of a Freddy with a lucky lady friend.

Shouldn't this be in an art gallery instead of under the hood of a car?

Naturally, she's naked and his finger blades are cutting into her ass cheeks just a little bit, but not too much. They wouldn't want to make this car less classy after all, right? So yeah, if you want this fine family friendly roadster, it will set you back $58,888.00, but that's a small price to pay to drive a car around town this Halloween that's A Nightmare On Any Street. Or not. Since I'm sure you're ready to write a check for it now, here's the link to the auction.

Personally, if I was going to spend my money on a Halloweeny car, I'd try to track down the Munsters' Koach. How about you?


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SuperHeroGirl on 09/30/2008 12:21 pm

My favorite part is the lack of proportion on the girl - that has to be the shortest torso I've ever seen!


Cereal Killer (Guest) on 09/30/2008 12:34 pm

What's even more fantastic is that the dead voyeur chick has a more rockin' bod then then the one Freddy's about to bang.

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thabutcher on 09/30/2008 1:50 pm

rofl..its a cool car..but the artwork could be much better..


Cereal Killer (Guest) on 09/30/2008 1:58 pm

I've been, uh, staring at this since my first post and I've been wondering "SHARP IS WHAT? WHAT? HUH? IS IT BROWN? BROWN? BROWN? WHY BROWN? Above bun-slicer Freddy, it says "Sharp is" and then no human can possibly read the last word.

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McFly on 09/30/2008 2:07 pm

I think it says "Sharp is Back"

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DarkfireTaimatsu on 09/30/2008 3:06 pm

The naked female looks very limp and uninterested in whatever Freddy's doing...

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Icculus on 09/30/2008 3:17 pm

Two words...Grave Digger.

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SPINAL on 09/30/2008 3:49 pm

I'll bid $58,889. How much would a Friday the 13th roadster go for?

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-RoG- on 09/30/2008 4:24 pm

McFly, yeah I think you're right, that's the only text that would even remotely make any sense.

Icculus, did somebody say Grrrrrave Digger?
Grave Digger! The Big Bad Mean Halloween Machine!


ColdFusion (Guest) on 09/30/2008 6:22 pm

Chick looks like a dude.. didn't know you were into that Freddy.


SGFAZ (Guest) on 09/30/2008 6:38 pm

Even Freddy looks disgusted about that crap heap of air brush.


Cereal Killer (Guest) on 09/30/2008 9:31 pm

No, no, obviously it says "Sharp is rapey!"


Nightcrawler (Guest) on 09/30/2008 9:54 pm

OMG... That artwork is just...wrong. Gotta love the look on Freddy's face too. I think the most likely scenario is that he was getting busy with the chick when he heard someone coming and accidentally sliced her butt. Oops.

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Silver on 09/30/2008 10:09 pm

Hey, -RoG-, remember that old article about a Bleeding Ass? I believe that situation might as well fit that lady if those class pierce her deep enough.

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Silver on 09/30/2008 10:10 pm


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captain516 on 09/30/2008 10:45 pm

The Tim Burton Batmobile looks pretty Halloweeny if you ask me.


Kyle Harkes (Guest) on 10/01/2008 10:46 am

I'm pretty sure I died inside a little bit when I saw the substantially sub-par airbrush job on this car. Nobody important soups their car up like this. Two words. Small Penis.

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nirvana_infinity on 10/01/2008 12:24 pm

I thought it said "Sharp is Gay." Which could actually make sense, since the naked lady does have pretty mannish proportions. He turned down the more feminine spooky lady for what I'm pretty sure is actually Bret Michaels. Why did we never before suspect that Freddy was one for the alternative lifestyle?

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Geminate on 10/01/2008 1:28 pm

I'll tell you true, my gut screams buy it, but my head says that I'll end up in jail! My ears are closer to my head.

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KrytenSyxx on 10/01/2008 2:11 pm

This auction is still going on? Guess it's a bit of a hard sell ($58k for a Camaro in this economy...)

Wanna go in half on it, Rog?


SGFAZ (Guest) on 10/02/2008 8:19 am

It looks more like Freddy cut her hand then her buttocks...


Ken Shamrock Kills Kimbo Slice (Guest) on 10/02/2008 12:56 pm

This car is bullshit. What the fuck. Maybe this guys floor sweeping job at Wal-Mart cannot keep up with the Auto Insurance or Gas and Maintenance. Fucking idiot. I'd break this fucker's jaw for ruining his retirement and kids college funding over some stupid ass car.


1deadmule (Guest) on 10/02/2008 4:01 pm

Ok, so I couldn't resist..the tempmtation..I looked at the ebay listing..there is a button labeled "Boost Retard".

Dumb "Fred"neck: Whass that purty red button do?
uncle Bubba-It's the boost, retard!

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Autrach Sejanoz on 10/02/2008 9:10 pm

Personally, I'd want the Addams Family car/house they had in their 60's/70's/whatever's cartoon.


This car is Gay (Guest) on 10/03/2008 1:38 am

This car is gayer than Clay Aiken in San Franscisco. What the fuck?

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jo8136 on 10/03/2008 3:24 pm

wow freddy why use your dream form when you've got Nos in the real world?


Tim (Guest) on 10/03/2008 7:15 pm

I don't want to burst your bubble but that car is not even street legal. It's a full blown drag car.


street-pirate (Guest) on 10/03/2008 9:42 pm

Freddy is obviously making out with the cardboard cutout of a chick.

LOL @ boring out a 454 and at the tricked out alternator belt.


Kris (Guest) on 10/05/2008 11:15 am

Street-pirate: that's the blower cog-drive belt. The alternator is being driven off a small v belt on the bottom drivers side from what I can see. Whats so funny about a bored out 454? You people have strange senses of humor! LOL

I could tell that guy probably didn't build the car himself. usually the guys smart enough to build something as mechanically bad ass as that don't have such horrible taste in paint jobs.

I am liking the spooky voodoo lady from Pirates picture though.


Kris (Guest) on 10/05/2008 11:20 am

that's strange, what I meant to say above was "from pirates of the caribean (spelled wrong because for some strange reason when I spelled it right it filtered it out). I can completely understand why you (the site admins) would have a filter that disallowed the naming of johnny depp films...but then why the exception for Nightmare on Elm Street? Is it because he wasn't in all of the sequels?


Kris (Guest) on 10/05/2008 11:30 am

Kyle Harkes,'re absolutely right. The really important people just buy BMW's and Ferrari's with vanity plates reading "nmbr1guy" ,"whosurdaddy" and "mr sexy". They drive them with their pink dress shirts sleeves rolled, a cigar in their mouth, a cell phone in their ear and end up getting into accidents when their 6" sundial rolex watch gets caught on their opposing arm during an evasive maneuver. lmao ok, i'm done now!

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Cowracer on 10/06/2008 4:11 pm

further proof that you cant give a redneck money

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A Bad Enough Dude on 10/06/2008 4:33 pm

The best part is the rear of the car in the actual auction link; the lucky buyer gets to drive around with thanks written in blood to some other guy's family.

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toolz88 on 10/06/2008 10:43 pm

Great. Now we all get to see what Freddy looks like if he was retarded.


Detritus (Guest) on 10/13/2008 6:52 pm

The car didn't sell... big suprise

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Danny 4 Eyes on 09/28/2010 4:16 pm

What a huge steaming pile of shite, it made me want to denounce Freddy and poor bleach in my eyes.


Andrew Scalise (Guest) on 07/14/2011 1:30 pm

I doubt this car would pass inspection. They won't even let you have tinted windows here, let alone all that "distraction".


Nathalie Venghaus (Guest) on 06/07/2012 6:04 am

I regard something really interesting about your site so I saved to bookmarks .


Dave (Guest) on 11/12/2013 8:49 am

Yea the girl pic under the hood could be better but I highly doubt if any of the bashed could do any better and are probably still living with there mommy and daddy and can't now or will ever be able to afford a car like this. There just straight up pussies and want to bees

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