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Looks Like Christmas Came A Little Early In Gingerbread Man Land This Year!

Only YOU can prevent gingerbread rape.

So Re and I were at the grocery store the other day when we stumbled upon this amazing sight. We simply couldn't believe it. No, your eyes do not deceive you - this is indeed a Gingerbread Man Rape. You can forget about those traditional nativity scenes with the baby jeebus... this will now forever be the centerpiece of my Christmas holiday seasons!

Ok, so I'm sure you're wondering why the hell a grocery store would sell such a thing or why anybody would even make it. Well, the truth is, this isn't what was intended, it's just how it was left out on display in the grocery store. It's actually a novelty holiday wine bottle holder, but whoever put it out on display in the store clearly had different intentions. Without a wine bottle in place, we see nothing but hilarity and horror as a helpless little gingerbread man is being raped from behind. To add insult to injury, while being raped, the little guy is being forced to stare at the bare ass of the gingerbread man in front of him who is absolutely elated about the successful raping and humiliation taking place. Ah rape... isn't that what the holidays are really all about?

An ornate display created for only the finest of wines!

As you can see, it takes on a completely different meaning when the wine bottle is in place. Well, I suppose the wine bottle could be misconstrued as a giant gingerbread man phallus, which the small gingerbread man is taking a ride on... but that's a bit of a stretch. I, for one, will never use this as a wine bottle display. It clearly has a much greater purpose in my home. And that purpose? To educate people about the horrors of holiday rape.

And to those of you who wish your grocery store sold gingerbread rape displays, you're in luck! I managed to track down a web site that sells this fine wine holder should any of you want to proudly exhibit it in your homes. Click here to see. Merry Christmas!


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Dr. V on 12/16/2008 4:56 am

Haha... rape.

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Pentegarn on 12/16/2008 4:57 am

The shower scene in Jack Frost thinks that decoration is jacked up

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El Sammo on 12/16/2008 7:18 am

Just like Grandma used to make!


Kyle Harkes (Guest) on 12/16/2008 7:29 am

Hahahahahaha! Hahahahaha.... Hahahaha... Haha... HA ha. Ok I'm done. Holiday Rape. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......etc.

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Commanderraf on 12/16/2008 9:18 am


I know someone, SOMEWHERE, has a fetish for gingerbread men.

This would be an awesome gift.


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chemquat on 12/16/2008 10:23 am

your first thought wasn't "oh my god, he's raping that child!"? b/c that's what mine was.

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Doctor_Who on 12/16/2008 10:38 am

The expression's everyone has really make this seem deliberate.


Al Boondy (Guest) on 12/16/2008 10:59 am

I just like the name of the image file.

"Gingerbread-hump1.jpg", heh.

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Silver on 12/16/2008 1:12 pm

Man, is this hilarious! I was surfing the web, suddenly coming here and I was surprised to see the photo on the home page.

I think that they also want to rape the bottle.

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Tadao on 12/16/2008 1:19 pm

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stevetothepast on 12/16/2008 2:47 pm

the look on their faces are priceless.

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greenimp on 12/16/2008 5:29 pm

i MUST have one :D

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Dungeonbrownies on 12/16/2008 6:51 pm

man, thats so ridiculously tacky, horrible taste, but so damn expensive... and at 4 pounds, thats ridiculous.

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MissEvie on 12/16/2008 7:23 pm

2 of them are even raping the wine. at least the one with his back turned has a little bit of a smile. the 2 that are doing the raping have a very disturbing look on their faces. kind of creeping me out. would love to share this scaring with siblings and let them share in the pain. isn't that what the holidays are about? sharing w/family?

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-RoG- on 12/16/2008 7:39 pm

I'll bet the lil' guy was singing that old "You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!" song. Well, it looks like they caught you. That's what you get for making such a bold claim, little fella...


Steve (Guest) on 12/16/2008 7:42 pm

There's still three "units" in stock...

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makaikishi on 12/16/2008 7:45 pm

Gingerbread man rape...creepy. :)

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fugmunky on 12/16/2008 7:50 pm

i like to think of the little bits of white 'frosting' on the gingerbread men to be...well, i think you know where i'm going with this

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fugmunky on 12/16/2008 7:52 pm

and also " came a little early..." is a great pun for the title...this stuff just writes itself. i have a sick mind.

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-RoG- on 12/16/2008 8:31 pm

Actually, that title was a little nod to the pun in a scene from one of my favorite Christmas horror movies: Jack Frost.

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l33tninj4 on 12/16/2008 10:01 pm

I can't look at it without laughing at the idea. Only ROG would think of something like this.

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Copper on 12/17/2008 12:08 am

Rule 34 is alive and well, it seems.

And it just goes to show that anything can be perverted taken out of context. Fun!


T. Brenner (Guest) on 12/17/2008 4:45 am

It's a trifle disturbing that the little guy finds the time, while being violated from behind, to inspect the cheering dude's butt!


FlameAdder (Guest) on 12/17/2008 4:52 am

Rape - always funny. Except when it's a kid. But it's extra funny when it's gingerbread people, so it cancels out. Still funny.


Val (Guest) on 12/17/2008 1:04 pm

This brings to mind a fine film I watched a few days ago called 'The Gingerdead Man.' And beleive it or not, the sadistic gingerbread villain was voiced by none other than Gary Fucking Busey. It changed my life.


Frank Castle (Guest) on 12/17/2008 2:17 pm

Rapists and Psychos need to watch out. Otis Toole dying in prison over a year ago still makes my blood boil to this day.

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PoGo on 12/17/2008 2:37 pm

The way I sees it, it looks like the gingerbread dude with his back turned is going to run and tell someone about what he's just seen while the gingerbread dude on top is trying to explain that its not what it looks like.

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-RoG- on 12/17/2008 4:31 pm

Val, I actually wrote about the Gingerdead Man a while back.
Check it out.


MikeeTeevee (Guest) on 12/17/2008 7:22 pm

It reminds me of Fru T Bunn and his gingerbread sex dolls.

What's with the custardy gingerbread-jiz? Adds validation to holirape.

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Aura Fox on 12/17/2008 11:14 pm

I suppose they played with eachother's gumdrops.

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Copper on 12/18/2008 1:38 am

Y'know, come to think of it, when I first saw the picture, I thought it was from the "Cookie Sutra" (Yes, they went there...) until Rog informed us this was 3-D.

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Ronin S on 12/18/2008 9:07 pm

My friends and I have all had stints in the retail industry during the holidays. We're always looking for a chance to be cheeky like the guy who put up that gingerbread man display to keep our sanity during the endless loop of bad carols on the announcements, and the occasional insane customer.

I love eating gingerbread.


Django R. (Guest) on 12/18/2008 10:38 pm

Wow, that first pic makes me think of two words "...the aristocrats!".

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Viteh on 12/19/2008 3:05 am

My Gog, what is next? Gingerbread men - Animal Cookie zoophilia?

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Graystreet on 12/19/2008 10:48 am

Frank Castle, silly man, Frank Castle is not a rapist, they needn't watch out because you shouldn't be trying to sneak up on them to rape them, that's just out of character.

Lastly, Gary Busey is now and forever Doctor Abusey, and we shall not speak of him as any Gingerdead Man, for it was a bad movie.

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Geminate on 12/19/2008 6:15 pm

I guess I drank too much again...I'm seeing perverted little gingerbread men in heat. They're also pooping gumdrops and candy canes, and the little one just can't get enough waiting for the next one to fall. Yuck, a bit of eye-bleach please.

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Colonel Flagg on 12/20/2008 11:52 pm

That is so wrong.


yelinna (Guest) on 12/25/2008 3:56 pm

My mom would kill me if I place that in our Xmas dinner without the bottle.


Ryan (Guest) on 08/22/2011 12:47 am

Hahaha oh my god. These poor gingerbread cookies never saw it coming D:

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