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In Which I “Help” My Daughter With Her “Blog”.

CUPCAKES! CUPCAKES! CUPCAKES! NOTHING BUT GODDAMNED CUPCAKES!

My eldest received for her birthday a cookbook devoted solely to cupcakes. She was thrilled and immediately began plotting an obsessive compulsive new hobby, to with; baking complicated cupcakes. Since this is obviously not enough, she also planned a cupcaking blog. As she brainstormed a title she became increasingly frustrated and asked me, her father, a writer, for help. Doesn't she know you, you well may ask. She does, but sometimes her memory fails her. Herewith, a list of some of the titles I suggested:

-Genocide Cupcakes

-Cupcake Jihad

-Li'l Cups o' Hitler Cake

-Hate Crime Cupcakes

-A Fistful of Cupcakes

-Kick You in the Cupcakes

-Sucking Chest Wound Cupcakes

-Rancid Pork Loin Cupcakes

-Cups of Poisonous Cake

-Not For Consumption Cup Cakes

-I Wouldn't Put This in My Mouth Cupcakes

-Li'l Debbie's Headless Torso Cupcakes

-Hidden False Tooth Cupcakes

-Spoiled Dairy Products Cupcakes

-Puscakes

-Ground Glass Cupcakes

-Serial Killer Brand Meaty Cupcakes

-Unending Vomiting Cupcakes

-Killed your Mom Cupcakes

-Test Your Will Cupcakes

-Unpleasant Cupcakes

-Kweazy Kupkakes

-Ebola Cupcakes

-Irritable Bowel Cupcakes

-Nazi, Nazi, Nazi Cupcakes

-Cupcakes for Morons

-Headcheese Cupcakes

-Hideous Eyeball Injury Cupcakes

-Psoriasis Fingers Cupcakes

-Missing Pets Cupcakes

-Sociopath Cupcakes

-Probably Cupcakes

-Ipecac Cupcakes

-Maybe Mercury Laden Cupcakes

-Them Ain't Cupcakes

-Cup-a-Soup-Cakes

-Mister Deadly Cupcakes

-You Didn't Eat That, Did You Cupcakes

-Obese Leering Registered Sex Offender Cupcakes

26 comments

User avatar

Tadao on 07/07/2009 2:10 pm

I'LL TAKE A DOZEN PLEASE!



User avatar

Tadao on 07/07/2009 2:12 pm

Oh, do these (Obese Leering Registered Sex Offender Cupcakes) come in non registered?



User avatar

Dimnos on 07/07/2009 2:21 pm

Do we get to vote?



User avatar

Julio on 07/07/2009 2:57 pm

Given the young age of your daughter, perhaps A Fistful of Cupcakes will do fine. Otherwise Spoiled Dairy Products Cupcakes is a worthy second choice.

Great names overall, Max.



User avatar

Dimnos on 07/07/2009 3:02 pm

I liked Kick you in the Cupcakes!



User avatar

captain516 on 07/07/2009 4:03 pm

What about bacon-flavored tuna cupcakes?



User avatar

Doctor_Who on 07/07/2009 4:07 pm

You forgot "Two Girls One Cupcakes".

In all seriousness, I would go with "Probably Cupcakes". It works on multiple levels.



User avatar

stevetothepast on 07/07/2009 4:50 pm

I'd go with Cup-a-Soup-Cakes.



User avatar

Nick on 07/07/2009 7:01 pm

Probably Cupcakes is actually a pretty good name.



User avatar

Aries on 07/07/2009 8:34 pm

KKKupcakes!



User avatar

Starscream on 07/07/2009 8:45 pm

Probably cupcakes is such a good name that I'm already seeing Martha Stewart parking her Helicopter on the lawn of the Burbank home just to cut your daughter a check.. Give her hell in the negotiations Max, make sure you get blood (real blood, not just her money)..

In other news I can't get Puscakes out of my head, it was just that funny.



Guest

Amoriahs (Guest) on 07/07/2009 8:57 pm

Now, I love me some Max Burbank, but is it overkill to have the "Comics Worth Reading" link kick me over to Max's blog like some sort of Burbank Black Hole-slowing sucking in the rest of I-Mockery into it's cupcake-shaped maw?

Love you guys!



User avatar

Aries on 07/07/2009 9:02 pm

I noticed that too. Oops!



User avatar

Tetsu Deinonychus on 07/07/2009 9:03 pm

Cupcake Jihad is my favourite choice. There's so much she can do with that.

Where would she be without a great father like you, Max?



User avatar

Colonel Flagg on 07/07/2009 11:36 pm

I think we should put this to a vote.

For some reason, "Sucking Chest Wound Cupcakes" strikes a chord with me. (It would)



Guest

Jane M (Guest) on 07/08/2009 1:00 am

"Pupcakes" anyone?



Guest

Steve (Guest) on 07/08/2009 8:57 pm

"Fistful of Cupcakes" needs an image of Clint Eastwood holding a cupcake just to leave nothing to the imagination.



Guest

Mirkwood Lodge (Guest) on 07/08/2009 10:22 pm

Hoody Hoo! Sucking Chest Wound Cupcakes! I hope this is a KoDT reference. If not, then you suck.



User avatar

DanniDoom on 07/08/2009 11:44 pm

How about Asbestos Cupcakes Can Get?



Guest

CptFiggs (Guest) on 07/09/2009 12:51 am

Sucking Chest Wound Cupcakes. I would buy ten. At a time. EVERY day.



User avatar

TNT724 on 07/09/2009 2:32 am

I could also go for some Sucking Chest Wound Cupcakes. Or if they come into existence: Cupcakes of Catastrophe.



User avatar

CaTlaloc on 07/12/2009 10:14 am

Oh Max, are you maybe being a little too hard on the the fruit of your loins? Perhaps you are just a little scarred that your progeny may be produce a better blog? Who doesnot LOVE cupcakes? Show the love Max.



User avatar

Evil Robot on 07/13/2009 6:10 pm

When will your daughter get her first DWI?



Guest

Bizzaro Stormy (Guest) on 07/16/2009 9:35 am

"Probably Cupcakes". Fo' sho'.



Guest

The Unlicensed Avenger (Guest) on 07/19/2009 8:01 pm

I would suggest perhaps Ku Klux Cupcakes.



Guest

Matt (Guest) on 10/05/2011 2:33 pm

My vote is for Irritable Bowel Cupcakes. Brilliant. That's quite list you rifled off for her.

Frankly, I used to get uptight about blog titles, but not so much any more (I publish a few blogs). It's the content that matters and if it's good content, then name will brand in time.

I think it's cool your daughter is jumping into blogging. Blogging is the best job on the planet!!



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