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The Zombie Gun Range!

DIE PAPER ZOMBIE SKELETOR DIE!!!!!

A few months back I got a call from some friends who decided at the last minute to go down to the Los Angeles Gun Club and shoot some targets. Having never shot a gun before, I figured why the hell not, and I'm glad I did. This particular gun range has wisely decided to help prepare people from the inevitable oncoming zombie apocalypse by providing them with real zombie targets! My target actually looked like a cross between Skeletor and a business man with an inexplicably shaggy hairdo. I used a 9mm (whatever the hell that is, I'm no gun expert) and sent my paper zombie target all the way to the back wall and managed to hit him almost every time. Problem is, I realized I was constantly hitting him in the chest. That's fine and dandy if you're trying to take down a human, but any horror fan worth his salt knows that you absolutely must shoot a zombie in the head if you want to kill it. You gotta destroy the ol' brainstem! So I adjusted my targeting and finally got in a few perfect head shots on ol' skele-zombie. Mission accomplished.

They did have a few other zombie targets to choose from:

Zombie gun range targets galore!
[click to enlarge]

As you can see, the other two hand-drawn zombies weren't in the best shape. Hell, I'd feel bad about shooting that one zombie with the dislodged jaw and missing hand. Probably because it's wearing a hoodie. Hoodies make everything look cuter... even zombies. Those zombies sure are tricky. They also had a few photos of people in zombie make-up, but I just couldn't pass up the opportunity of shooting ol' zombie Skeletor, no matter how tempted I was to shoot those zombie man-boobs hanging over the dumpster in that pic.

If that gun range really wants to help prepare people from the zombie apocalypse, they should start providing people with some famous zombie targets (like the ol' Tar Man zombie from "Return of the Living Dead") along with some heavier artillery. Give people a flamethrower, gatling gun, or a bazooka to take down those undead psycho paper zombie hordes! I guarantee it'd be good for business. The only drawback, of course, is that some of their clients would surely get killed in an accident. I say this because we were stunned at how many bullet holes there were in the FLOOR where we were standing. You can even see some of them in the first photo above and there were far more bullet holes in the floor than that. Clearly quite a few idiots have walked into that gun range before, goofing off with a firearm in their hands and accidentally shot some rounds off directly into the floor. The thought of that, to me, is a hell of a lot scarier than any paper zombies.

In the end, it was a really fun night, we killed plenty o' paper bad guys and I took home my dead paper zombie as a souvenir. Plus, they let us pose with some bigger guns for one hell of a group photo:

Zombies... you do NOT want to mess with us.

And yes, I do look like a Tusken Raider in that photo. Thanks for noticing.

27 comments

Guest

AIF (Guest) on 09/04/2009 6:04 pm

That is one awesome gun range. I feel now that I should go there and ready myself for the inevitable zompocalypse.

Also, I've noticed that I am often the first person to comment on a lot of these blogs. It makes me look like I have no job. Which I don't....

I made myself sad. Errrr.



User avatar

greenimp on 09/04/2009 7:48 pm

heh, skeletor in a buisness suit

did anyone else get a mental image of a bored looking skeletor shuffling paperwork and haveing a rag about ted from accounting?

+1,000,000 points to anyone who can draw that



User avatar

Hangie on 09/04/2009 8:38 pm

The facial expressions in that last photo were priceless. I wish one of you guys took a video! I bet I could beat you in a zombie shooting competition RoG! It's fun to overuse exclamation marks!



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Hangie on 09/04/2009 8:42 pm

Actually, RoG, when I look at that last pic, you don't look like a tusken raider, you sort of look like coolface



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Julio on 09/04/2009 9:13 pm

Amazing. The local authorities should be providing firearms in large quantities to the residents if they are to have at least one chance to stop a zombie before it rips their guts out.



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Deadly Towers Sux on 09/04/2009 11:18 pm

Actually RoG, you do look like a Tusken Raider (except not as ugly)



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Deadly Towers Sux on 09/04/2009 11:19 pm

Also, that look on your face in that first pic kinda creeps me out...



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All Hail Duke on 09/04/2009 11:46 pm

well shit man,i'll draw up a B&W Tarman target for ya



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TNT724 on 09/05/2009 12:41 am

I think the bullet holes in the floor are from people practicing shooting at the zombies that would come crawling in at them to attack. Better safe than sorry.



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All Hail Duke on 09/05/2009 3:57 am

here's your target,a bit crude but i was in a hurry to finish



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Hangie on 09/05/2009 6:56 am

Woah that's awesome duke.



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All Hail Duke on 09/05/2009 8:01 am

as for the pre mentioned Skeletor in a business suit,i'll think about it



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All Hail Duke on 09/05/2009 8:08 am

i'll do it,and the "Ted" will have to be the Keanu Ted



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All Hail Duke on 09/05/2009 1:05 pm

loosely based on greenimp's idea of Skeletor in a business suit,here's a rough idea of Skeletor working with 'Ted' Theodore Logan as part of Masters of the Universal Time Travel corp.

no,i have nothing better to do,and lack of sleep tends to mess with my head



Guest

BOOMERRRRR (Guest) on 09/05/2009 2:33 pm

Oh hey, look it's Zoey (of l4d) second from right.



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-RoG- on 09/05/2009 3:45 pm

All Hail Duke, your insomniac artwork has made reading the comments in this thread all the more entertaining. Nice work! Skeletor and Ted definitely seems like a sitcom in the making...



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HowardC on 09/05/2009 6:00 pm

Heh... skeletor and ted look like a rejected adult swim pilot. And now that I've said that the folks at williams street are frantically working on said pilot.



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All Hail Duke on 09/05/2009 6:19 pm

glad to be of service,and i'd watch the shit outta that show



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PoGo on 09/05/2009 8:01 pm

I too would watch that show. I'm not sure why but it seems like it'd work out well.



Guest

Turrel (Guest) on 09/05/2009 11:25 pm

This thread inspired me. I usually only shoot boring ol' cans of soda, but making zombie targets?

That breathes a whole new sense of life into it!



User avatar

greenimp on 09/06/2009 2:31 am

@all hail duke: kudos to you ser, +1,000,000 points

guess who has a new background?



Guest

Thomas (Guest) on 09/06/2009 3:13 pm

I like how even the female zombie have huge tits. I suppose that's LA for ya.



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Julio on 09/06/2009 7:11 pm

Is it just me or the third zombie looks like some sort of mangled rubber chicken?



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Crash Dummie on 09/07/2009 4:30 pm

If a man who never shot a gun before can figure out how to adjust his aim to get a headshot, we have to wonder why all the SWATs, soldiers and whatever in zombie flicks can seem to shoot anywhere higher than the chest.



Guest

Price (Guest) on 09/07/2009 10:07 pm

HA, yeah I actually got to shoot zombies myself in a Vegas shooting range for a friend's birthday. Such a lovely surprise.



Guest

Jonathan Passow (Guest) on 09/08/2009 4:32 pm

Who is the cute girl in the picture?!?!?! I don't recall seeing her on the site before...

:swoon:



User avatar

A Bad Enough Dude on 09/12/2009 7:48 pm

It seems to me that this is the ONLY viable use for a gun range.



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