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upon-an-oaken-throne-this-black-metal-master-awaits-goblets-of-royal-blood

Upon An Oaken Throne, This Black Metal Master Awaits Goblets Of Royal Blood.

Mayhem - a band who simultaneously mastered black metal and bacon.

NOTE: Episode re-airs Saturday, November 20th at 2:30pm PST on G4. The segment is about the three "toughest rockers" - Ozzy, G.G. Allin, and Mayhem. Hope you can catch it! It's also available on iTunes, PSN, Xbox Live and Zune.

Yep, that's me. There's a new show called "That's Tough" coming to G4 TV in October focusing on the toughest people, places and things in the history of the world. Naturally, they chose to have me be on it. Har! They actually had me playing the lead guy from the infamous Norwegian black metal band Mayhem who killed himself years ago. Not sure when the episode / segment is gonna air for sure yet, but I'll be sure to post about it as soon as I hear more.

Anyway, it was a great shoot and I had a lot of fun being up on stage with that severed pig head while screaming in front of a crazed, headbanging audience. I've been a rocker of some sort in the last two shoots I've done... looks like I'm already being typecast. Actually, seeing myself in all that makeup really brings me back to the days when I was working on the ol' Metal Mockery site as I'm sure many of you old school I-Mockery chums recall. The Logo Deciphering section was always my personal favorite part of that site. Good times.

During some of my down time on the shoot, I was checking out one of the boxes filled with props and I found something that I knew would make for a perfect picture:

Warriors! Come out to playeeeeeaaaaaay!

By combining my black metal costume with the baseball gear I found, I turned myself into a member of the Baseball Furies gang from The Warriors! Now if you'll excuse me, I clearly need to go find some nail polish remover.

QUESTION: If I was going to start up a metal band of some sort, a) what would you name the band and b) what would be my stage name?

34 comments

Guest

liquidcross (Guest) on 08/17/2010 8:27 am

Rog is DEAD! Literally, as your costume can attest.

Hmmm...dunno what your band would be called, but your stage name needs to be Satanscythe. (Hellhammer is already taken.)



User avatar

10,000 Volt Ghost on 08/17/2010 8:31 am

Band name: METAL GLASS ACCENT TABLE
Stage name: Black Finish



Guest

Julio (Guest) on 08/17/2010 8:51 am

Awesome, -RoG-! Me thinks you should take such looks into consideration for your future Halloween costume.

As for the metal band name... That's a tough one, as I'm not into metal, but what about The Dead Pickles?



User avatar

Drew Bludd on 08/17/2010 12:47 pm

Hula Hoop Mortuary



Guest

Hoju Koolander (Guest) on 08/17/2010 1:07 pm

Donaldo Ducksblood of Uggly Dukkling!



User avatar

GreenPeaness on 08/17/2010 1:30 pm

Band name: Fistula Hellhand
Stage name: Christian Baal

(see what I did there? yeaaaahh!)



Guest

Jigby Huggletinks (Guest) on 08/17/2010 1:33 pm

It's always nice to see your metal side, RoG. i-Rockery!



Guest

Mary (Guest) on 08/17/2010 3:35 pm

Band name: MockFly or RavensClaw
Stage name: Raven or Crow

Go Rog!!



User avatar

MrEff on 08/17/2010 4:58 pm

The red eye in the second picture makes you you genuinely insane, awesome!

Band Name: Unicron
Stage Name: Corax



Guest

ColdFusion (Guest) on 08/17/2010 6:54 pm

Man, you should've just used sharpie, lol.

Band name: EYEBULGE
Stage name: Aluminum Cock

... I'm not very good at this.



Guest

Martín (Guest) on 08/17/2010 7:14 pm

-band name: Vampire Booger

-stage name: Jason Krueger or Freddy Voorhees...
or Freson Kruhees or Jaddy Voorger... hell i don't know, hahahaha

-Single: ''Mocking Death'' perhaps?

by the way, metal mockery was awesome! i remember watching the site when i was a freaking teenager...
damn i'm getting old, i've been a follower so long, and yet haven't signed out ^^u

saludos desde México =)



User avatar

Ferrit on 08/17/2010 7:17 pm

Band name - Tuna Juice
Stage name - Gristle



User avatar

HowardC on 08/17/2010 9:44 pm

I like where ghost is going here.

band name: Formica!
stage name: Flush Trim Bit!



Guest

L D (Guest) on 08/17/2010 10:40 pm

That's really cool that you're doing all these heavy metal shoots- I approve! Please do post a video or something up from the show you were on- that'd be really cool to see. I remember Metal Mockery very well!

Band Name: Ghosts of Pac Man

Stage Name: Mockesto (you know, like Mephisto... ehh its a stretch I'm trying to make it relevant to I-Mockery)



Guest

L D (Guest) on 08/17/2010 10:55 pm

Oh yeah, just curious seeing as this is metal related... what ever happened to A.L.E RoG? I remember listening to that stuff on mp3.com way back when! You should do remasters of that stuff and put on here!



User avatar

spencerjg on 08/18/2010 3:01 am

Band name:I-mockery of death

Dunno about the stage name though.



User avatar

Julio on 08/18/2010 7:22 am

Come to think of it, the name I should have suggested is The Rotten Pickles, with Belmont Von Pickle as their frontman.



User avatar

Julio on 08/18/2010 7:23 am

... And yes, I do agree with MrEff about the red eye effect in the second photo that makes you look genuinely insane.



User avatar

ryot on 08/18/2010 2:53 pm

Random Assault
Dino Ironbody



Guest

trevor (Guest) on 08/18/2010 4:31 pm

Band name = Gristle Drenched Sodomizing Scrotum Lickers from Hell



Guest

trevor (Guest) on 08/18/2010 4:32 pm

oh and stage name = king SODOM(izer)



User avatar

Starscream on 08/18/2010 6:54 pm

So Rog is the episode just about Dead or is it about Blackmetal in general? Cause for as goofy as people seem to think all the make-up and symphony-like melody's those guys aren't joking around..

Take Count Grishnackh of the same band (and quite a few others)for example. He murdered another bandmate (Euronymous)and burned down 4 churches. He served 16 of his 21 years in jail and just got out on parole last year.

Wait.. having typed that all out and realizing how much crap they did/do, the episode isn't about Mayhem themselves is it?



User avatar

-RoG- on 08/18/2010 9:34 pm

Thanks for the comments on the photos guys... some fine band and stage name suggestions so far too. Tuna Juice sounds so hardcore. Keep 'em coming!

L D - Wow, an old A.L.E. fan eh? Always good to hear from somebody who listened to all those old musical comedy tracks of ours. I actually have both albums linked to on our site forums currently. You can check them out at the following links and download all of the mp3s:

Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy.
"Songs You've Never Heard Before":
http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6553

Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy.
"Negative Patient Healthcare Outcome":
http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8694

Starscream - I believe the episode is about the toughest bands of all time, and that particular segment I'm in is indeed about all the members of Mayhem. I play the lead guy (Dead) but we also shot the bandmate getting murdered too (yes, I got to die TWICE in one day... awesome.)



Guest

Awesome Metal Band Name (Guest) on 08/19/2010 12:33 am

My Metal band name would be "The Stinkin' Meatflaps."

or I was watching Scared Straight and that one eyed prisoner threw the shoes of the two guys that he didn't like and said "Go Home Barefoot Ya Faggot" That would be a funny name. A bit offensive, but it's whatever.



Guest

Heattokun (Guest) on 08/19/2010 12:44 am

I have two Ideas:
1: Mr. Blocky's Henchmen. Stagename: Assplants.
or 2: Boner Soup. Stagename: Ruler of Gates(or RoG)

(Speaking of M.U.S.C.L.Es- you mentioned Mr.Blocky/Sunshine killing people using his rollers. I just gotta say, I read the manga, and you were spot on with this. Cause he killed someone and brutally injured someone else.)



Guest

Postmarkj (Guest) on 08/19/2010 12:40 pm

a) Ego diligo Hunnam
b) El Diablo con Brio



User avatar

Starscream on 08/19/2010 7:53 pm

Oh man Rog, I'm totally excited then cause those guys were/are crazy. Can't wait to see it!(and you in it!)



User avatar

draugrviking on 08/19/2010 11:34 pm

Band name: the motherfucking motherfuckers
Stage name: the mother fuckest



User avatar

R2-Shane2 on 08/20/2010 1:25 am

Band Name: Blood Chunks
Stage Name: Murder Hawk



User avatar

Nick on 08/20/2010 4:18 am

Rog, why would you want to be on the shittiest cable channel, ever?



Guest

Kev (Guest) on 08/20/2010 11:27 am

Band: Blood Rain
Stage Name: Sodomizer



User avatar

neoboman on 08/22/2010 2:57 am

Dress like the Baseball Furies but call yourselves the Turnbull ACs, would totally mess with the minds of all the boppers out there.



Guest

ash Davies (Guest) on 08/24/2010 1:39 am

Call yourselves S.T.A.K (sick twisted arse clowns)

Your stage name could be Jugglrog.



Guest

ZYX (Guest) on 08/24/2010 6:58 pm

RoG, playing... Dead?
I'm not sure whether I'm offended or impressed at how INSANELY AWESOME that is!!



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