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Tales From The Candelabra!

Tales From The Crypt - The Crypt Keeper Candelabra!

Here's a little something I simply had to share this with you guys. When I got back home from the road trip with Keith Apicary, Re had a nifty little surprise waiting for me: she tracked down this awesome vintage Tales From The Crypt candelabra! I was a huge fan of the HBO series (I have all the seasons on DVD) and looked forward to all the corny one-liners that the Crypt Keeper would deliver each week back when it was still on TV. Some people are greeted with hugs and kisses when they return from a long trip; I'm greeted with an ancient corpse who tells bad jokes in a televised horror anthology series. Awesome. Let's take a look... or as the Crypt Keeper would say, "let's take a hook!" or something like that.

Come closer, I want to *axe* you a question! AHAHAHAHHEHEEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!

Perfecto! The Crypt Keeper's eyes glow, his candle comes with a flickering bulb, and his hands rest nicely atop his his book of tales - what more could one ask from a lamp? It's as if he's lit a candle beside your bed to tell you some horrific tales to ensure that you'll never sleep again. I can almost hear John Kassir's voice cackling away whenever I turn this thing on, and I plan on surrounding him with Halloween candies for the rest of the month. Who better to guard them, right? Between this, my Halloween Bubble Light, and my Blinky Glow Lite, I think I'm set for spooky indoor illuminations this season.

SURVEY: While we're on the subject of Tales From the Crypt, what are some of your favorite episodes and why? I've always had a soft spot for the "And All Through The House" episode since it was my introduction to the series.


User avatar

Drew Bludd on 10/17/2011 7:37 am

I have this on my dresser right now. I got it from my friend's girlfriend. See - they moved in together and used each others things to decorate the apartment. Except she HATED that he wanted this on the living room mantle. So, when he wasn't home - she gave it to me. And its our secret.


Doc^Holiday (Guest) on 10/17/2011 12:41 pm

Rog, my favorite episode is "Top Billing" John Astin as always is excellent with his role. Jon Lovitz is awesome. Nothing like casting Hamlet and looking for the best man to play Yorik.

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Terrible-D on 10/17/2011 9:43 pm

I used to have that. I'm really not sure as to what happened to it. I gave up hope of every finding one again, but this is the second time in the last week I've seen one. Now I must track one down.

Also, my favorite episode would have to be What's Cookin'? Great Cast, great story, and an ending you can really sink your teeth into. Ha. See what I did there. Sink your teeth. . . awww forget it.


Al (Guest) on 10/18/2011 12:14 am

My favorite episode is "The Man Who was Death" which happens to be the first of the series as well. There's just something about Bill Sadler's narration that makes me feel happy. It had a real gritty feel too. When I saw it as a kid it made me think big cities were full of scumbags. Which is not far from the truth I suppose.

Gotta also mention my second favorite, "Dig that Cat, He's Real Gone" with Joe Pantoliano. I absolutely love the whacked out feel of the episode and mixed with the carnival setting it disturbed me greatly. The twist ending, while expected, was cool. The music kicks ass in this episode also.

Actually I love every goddamn episode!!!!!!



spooky (Guest) on 10/18/2011 2:10 am

The one Arnold Swartzennegger directed with william hickey wanting the young lovely girl. That one always comes to mind, if only because there is a rare appearance of someone with the Crypt Keeper, in the form of Arnold himself appearing next to our decrepit host.

There are just too many good ones. Alot of basically stinkers as well, but really, this was one of the best if not the best horror anthology ever. Between the budgets, the music, or the stars, this had it all.

Now I think of it, I think I'm going to have to get this show on dvd as well.

I kinda prefer the original creepy, more whispery, more normal crypt keeper from early episodes. He did get really crazy wacky and over the top later on. I like much of that too, but that original keeper. That was something else. ;)

User avatar

-RoG- on 10/18/2011 2:30 am

Drew Bludd - It's not your secret any more... now the entire Internet knows, and soon your friend will come to murder you to get his candelabra back. Oh my... it sounds like you're living in an episode of Tales from the Crypt!

Doc^Holiday - Haha yep, you simply can't go wrong with Lovitz in a horror anthology show.

Terrible-D - I'm sure you can still find the candelabra on eBay if you want it again. It really does look great when you turn it on and that flicker bulb starts going.

Al - Is the "Dig that Cat, He's Real Gone" episode the one where the guy gets the nine lives of a cat implanted in his brain, and he uses those lives to make a living performing deadly stunts, only to lose count of how many lives he's used in the end? If so, that was definitely one of the better episodes in the series. Really fun one.

spooky - Hehe yeah, I always liked it when somebody would appear with the Crypt Keeper. Same reason I always really liked the episodes of Freddy's Nightmares when Freddy was actually in the episode itself rather than merely introducing & concluding it. But yeah, you've gotta get the show on DVD if you don't already have it. I think they sell all the seasons together in a cheaper set now.

User avatar

HowardC on 10/18/2011 2:56 pm

I actually remember very little of the stories myself. Most of them were fairly forgettable, it was the Keeper himself that I always tuned in to see.

I'm a sucker for bad puns... if you know what I SCEAM. AHH HEE HA HA HA HA ha ha ah

I bought one of those boris talking skulls a few years back and corpsified it with carpet latex and panty hose into a crypt keeper. I got a copy of the original spencer's audio cassette and ran the whole thing through a mp3 player. It's always a hit with the kids on halloween.

I really think they need to bring the show back. HBO actually makes money now what with their original series, so imagine the budget they could put on a set of weekly horror tales now.

On top of that the amount of nudity, blood and gore acceptable on HBO is far greater these days so they could do REAL horror stories instead of watered down hokey crap.


All Hail Duke (Guest) on 10/18/2011 8:22 pm

don't know the name of the episode, but it had demi moore married to a disgusting lardball version of jeffrey tambor

another favorite was 'death of some salesman' with tim curry (who also took the form of a disgusting lardball)


Zechary Lee (Guest) on 10/18/2011 11:00 pm

I wish all the best for Drew Bludd and hope his friend will not come to murder him after knowing this open secret. lol.

User avatar

dextire on 10/18/2011 11:40 pm

I'm impressed by the detail of the candelabra. It looks better than even the box depicts.

My favorite episode is "The Reluctant Vampire". Malcolm McDowell, George Wendt, and Michael Berryman as Van Helsing.


Brian (Guest) on 10/19/2011 9:34 am

Gotta go with the Bobcat Goldwaith and Don Rickles episode about an aging ventriloquist and his biggest fan. Creepy and funny as well!

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eL GUAPO on 10/19/2011 12:53 pm

One episode that stuck with me was the one with Don Rickles, where he played a ventriloquist whose puppet was being controlled by his brother Morty, who was attached to the end of his arm from some apparent freak birth defect. Now that I think about it Morty could very well have been the estranged cousin of Quato from Total Recall.

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Tacobot on 10/19/2011 5:54 pm

That's an awesome Crypt Keeper, man. And it's not often that the physical thing looks cooler than the picture on the box.

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justintyler on 10/19/2011 6:57 pm

The one I always remember had Christopher Reeve in it, and he owned a restaurant with his wife. They killed Meat Loaf, the singer, and served him in the restaurant. A very, very weird and hilarious episode.

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Shadowdancer21b on 10/19/2011 8:15 pm

That is a really sweet lamp. My favorite episode is a tie between "the Man who was Death" and that one with the blind people in the special care facility/ death trap.

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SewnonSmile on 10/20/2011 12:44 pm

Well, I gotta say boils & ghouls, that's one lamp even your old pal The Crypt Keeper would sell his soul to have...if he had one!!! Hehehehehe!!! Any way...I'd have to say one of the creepiest episodes to me would have to be "Forever Ambergris" with Steve Buscemi & Roger Daltrey. Just something about what happens to Buscemi when he contracts the germ & how he eventually manages to pass it to Daltrey & it's just.....EWWWW!!!...but if you've seen it then you know, & if you haven't then watch it!!!


SerpentWolf (Guest) on 10/28/2011 4:36 pm

Hmm... I cannot really remember any of the episodes clearly as I was really young at the time.

I however have the theme song burned into my brain. (Not that that's a problem.)

I do however remember my mom either waking me up or letting me stay up with her to watch it and I always had a fun time.

Heh. It's one of the few memories from my childhood that I truly cherish.

User avatar

Wyckid on 11/01/2011 4:09 pm

It's a tough call for me deciding my favorite Crypt. Seasons 1-6 are masterpieces, every single one of them. I loved the Harry Anderson one about the comic artist. I loved the Sam Kinison one with the sleazy record promoter and Katey Sagal. I loved the one with Steve Buscemi and Roger Daltrey. I also loved the one with Beau Bridges. I also loved the one where Tim Curry plays an ENTIRE FAMILY... You know what, I'm going to stop there. I just love that show so much that every episode is my favorite.


Tana Kufner (Guest) on 08/22/2013 11:59 am

Nick, I'm right there with you. Speaking from experience, the long tail hits, while fewer, do tend to lead to greater action since they are very specific. It's the whole quality of the hits as opposed to the quantity of the hits.

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