Last year, I shared with you four ugly Christmas sweaters (well, sweatshirts to be more precise) based on pop culture icons from my childhood. They put a big smile on my face, because I love wearing ugly attire that still manages to keep me warm during the winter months. Well, my generous pals from 80sTees just sent me a brand new batch of their latest amazing ugly faux Christmas sweaters, so I clearly need to show you exactly what these designs look like. Let's start with the first one:
First up, we have Superman and Batman wishing you a Merry Christmas. I can't tell you how much I love this one, because they're both trying to look all tough and serious, but you simply can't look like a badass when you have a bunch of festive white and green snowflakes falling behind you. The best thing about this design isn't that Superman is wearing a Santa Claus hat, it's that Batman isn't. It's as if Superman spent hours convincing Batman to take a Christmas holiday photo with him, and when he pushed his luck by asking Batman to wear a Santa hat, Batman bluntly told him, "Fuck you." In fact, that's pretty much the only way I can imagine them improving this design... replace "Merry Christmas!" with "Fuck You."
Next, we have this nifty Pac-Man design, where elements from the maze in the arcade game have been altered to form a Christmas tree. Great idea! Now I get that they tried blending the ornaments in with the tree, but I would've loved to see them use some of the edibles from the game as ornaments instead. After all, strawberries and oranges make for some nice colorful decorations. Hell, they could even have Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man kissing under some mistletoe made from one of the cherries in the game. Or maybe they could've simply taken inspiration from the Christmas Comes To Pac-Land TV special and have Pac-Man helping out Santa. Then again, we're talking about ugly attire here, so I can see why they'd just overload it with far more ghosts than Pac-Man has ever had to chomp. So yeah, I'll still wear the hell outta this thing.
Hit the jump to see the other two sweaters!
Now this one definitely has the best text of all the sweaters I was sent. You simply can't go wrong with Lion-O from the ThunderCats dressed as Santa Claus shouting "ThunderCats HO! HO! HO!", a nice play on his classic catchphrase. I like how the design gives anybody looking at it a slightly delayed reaction by putting the last two "ho's" at the bottom of the sweater. It's also nice that they included his Claw Shield in the design as well, because it's the little details like that which truly matter to the hardcore fans. I can only imagine that Lion-O Claus punishes those on his naughty list by busting out the Sword of Omens. Or maybe he just forces them to hang out with Snarf. Here's hoping we get to see Mumm-Ra dressed as the Grinch on a shirt next year. Somebody please make that happen!
Lastly, we have what might be my favorite design the entire bunch, not to mention a nice follow-up to the Transformers nutcracker sweater from last year: it's Megatron dressed as Santa Claus, running merrily as he holds up his
sleigh slay bells. That alone would be funny, but the fact that his bells are made from the severed heads of his fallen Autobot enemies, really puts this over the top. And the heads themselves are in really bad shape. Megatron didn't just rip off Optimus Prime's head and turn it into a bell, he clearly beat the hell out of it first. While I don't think he'd walk away so unscathed in a normal battle with all of them, perhaps Megatron secretly hatched an evil plan where he behaved all year long so that his Christmas wish would come true. That wish? The utter brutalization and humiliation of the Autobots. No wonder he's prancing around with holiday cheer!
So what about you? What's your favorite of these four designs? Lemme know in the comments section below. It's a tough call for me, but I think the Megatron one really takes the cake. Thanks again to 80sTees for mailing me these newest faux sweaters. Can't wait to see what they come up with next year!
A-bomb on 12/19/2013 6:22 am
I think the Pac-Man sweater is the one I'd be most likely to wear, but I do like the joke slogans on the Megatron and Lion-o ones. I have to say though, if the Batman/Superman one did say "Fuck You" I'd be wearing it every day of the year.
Jaimas on 12/19/2013 10:06 am
Merry Holimas, I-Mockery!
Jaimas on 12/19/2013 10:07 am
I remember when I reviewed that Album RoG is holding in the second image with our weeklies segment. Good times.
dextire on 12/19/2013 10:46 pm
I like the Batman/Superman one just because it REALLY hurts my eyes to read the text.
That last pic is quite confusing. Megatron happy, no downright giddy, and you either about to eat that gift, paper and all, or teaching the gift what a Hawk looks like. I just don't know.
-RoG- on 12/20/2013 12:56 am
A-bomb - Yeah, they really need to release the FU version of that sweater.
Jaimas - Same to ya! Also, that Pac-Man Christmas Album review of yours is actually still on the site here.
dextire - Haha, yeah I was laughing when I saw how that pic turned out. How could I not use it? And to answer your question, I was attempting to eat the entire gift, just as Megatron would eat an energon cube. Closest thing I had to one ;)
ForgottenInvader on 12/20/2013 11:59 am
My wife bought me the Megatron "Slay Bells Ring" to wear to a few ugly Christmas sweater party's we went to this year and it was a big hit. One party had a vote on the best "sweater" (it's really a sweatshirt) and I won some holiday crap. I didn't even vote for myself. :) I love the shirt although I can't quite place the purple Autobot head on it. Can anyone identify it?
All Hail Duke on 12/20/2013 2:15 pm
i'd go with the lion-o sweatshirt
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