Boogedy-boogedy-moooo... er... booo! So why are you staring at a photograph of a cow holding a trick-or-treat bag whilst standing atop of a can of Halloween soda that's resting on top of a can of Real Ghostbusters Ecto-Plazm? Honestly, it's the best way I could think of visually preparing you for just how incredibly random the Halloween season can be. One day you're drinking orange-colored milk in a corn maze filled with pumpkin-headed scarecrows, and the next day you're running through a haunted house as the giant spider gremlin from Gremlins 2: The New Batch stalks you while the theme song from Ernest Scared Stupid plays in the background. It could happen! Yes indeedy, my ghoulish companions, we're gonna be celebrating Halloween every day until the cows come home!
September 1st marks the beginning of I-Mockery's annual "Two Months of Halloween" celebration. Every single update you see on this site from now until October 31st will be Halloween-themed in one way or another. I think we can agree that Halloween 2013 is going to be hard to top considering all of the amazing products that were released last year, such as all of the original Monster Cereals in their retro boxes (including Fruit Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy). Still, my excitement for the 2014 season has been growing quickly and it's shaping up to be a hell of a good time; it's only September 1st and we've already seen new Monster Cereal designs, Candy Apple Oreo cookies (with Pumpkin Spice on the way!), some amazing new A Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th Mego-style dolls from NECA (which I'll be covering soon), and who knows what else is on the way. If you're a fan of horror movies, candy, haunted attractions, pumpkin carving, creepy crafts, bizarre novelties, and monster toys, I promise the next two months are going to be infinitely more awesome for you. There is no greater time of the year.
And now for some big updates...
BIG UPDATE #1: I'm trying out Disqus software for the first time this season as the comments system for all our new articles. What does this mean to you? Basically, it means you can use any of your social media accounts OR no accounts at all to comment on an article. You no longer have to register an account on I-Mockery to join in the discussions! The fact that you're reading this already makes you a part of our ever-growing Halloween family, so please don't be shy; if you read a new article that interests you in any way, drop a comment and join in the fun with your fellow graveyard ghouls! Also, if you encounter any problems with this new system, please lemme know, as I'm still making adjustments to it. Hopefully it'll all work out and we'll have a permanent new comments system in place moving forward. (note: old articles will not have this new comments system in place until I have a chance to go through them all).
BIG UPDATE #2: I'm happy to announce that our classic Halloween Club Packs WILL be returning this season with all new goodies! They did incredibly well last year, selling out in less than a day, and I know a lot of people were disappointed they didn't get their orders in on time. This year, I'm doing my best to stock up on enough supplies so I can put together more than twice as many packs as last season. That said, they're still in limited supplies, so when you see them go up for sale here on I-Mockery, place your orders quickly so you don't miss out. If you follow us on Twitter and Facebook, you'll know the instant the packs go up for sale. I don't have an official date / time set yet, but you can expect it to be towards the end of September. Just like last year, these packs will be available to people in the continental United States only. Sorry to our international readers, but the amount of time it takes me to fill out all those customs forms would be much better spent on writing more articles. That said, if you live elsewhere in the world and you really, really want a club pack, you can email me and I'll see if I can possibly set one aside from you.
With that out of the way, let's get into the details of what you can expect to see on I-Mockery in the coming months. As you probably already know, we pride ourselves on going crazier over this holiday than just about any other place has in our 17+ year history, so we've got all sorts o' rib cage-crackin' surprises planned for the 2014 Halloween season. We'll have coverage of various haunted Halloween attractions, horrific novelties, my huge annual round-up of the best & worst Halloween candies, horror movie reviews, new videos, craft projects, toy features, contests, and all the other wonderfully random oddities we stumble upon over the next two months.
If any of you have suggestions for Halloweeny things you'd like to see covered this season, please let me know here in the blog thread or shoot me an email. It doesn't matter if it's a Halloween event taking place in your area, a horror movie, an independent seasonal costume shop, some new candy, or some completely bizarro new Halloween novelty... I wanna see and hear all about it, so please get in touch!
To those of you who aren't well acquainted with our annual Halloween celebration here on I-Mockery, I always suggest checking out some of our main Halloween attractions. We have a huge archive of Halloween material on this site from previous years, so while you wait for our newest pieces to go up, I highly recommend checking out those older things to get in the spirit of the season.
-I-Mockery's Halloween Collection: Here you'll find quick 'n easy access to most of our Halloween material from the past. Extremely in-depth horror movie and candy reviews, product reviews, and of course the boppin' Halloween adventures of Count Pop himself along with other oddities. Of course, be sure to check back here on the homepage every day for the very latest Halloween updates as well.
-The Halloween Grab Bag: Much like our "Shorts" section, this is a place where you'll find our smaller Halloween articles, but often covering some of the weirdest stuff we've ever stumbled upon.
-The Greatest Horror Movie Moments: Another favorite is our ongoing quest to document some of the finest moments in horror movies. Sometimes they're moments you're well aware of, other times, it's stuff you probably never knew existed. Either way, if you're looking for some horror movies to check out this season, this is a great place to start.
-The Halloween Jack-O-Juke: Here be our Halloween music jukebox, filled with over 210 hand-picked horrifying songs and counting to keep your decaying ears bleeding with ghoulish glee all season long. Feel free to keep the Jack-O-Juke open in a separate window so you can listen to all of the hand-picked tunes while still checking out the latest article offerings here on I-Mockery. We've already added 30 new tunes so far this season, and if there's a song you think should be added to the jukebox, be sure to let me know and I'll try to add it before the end of October!
-Trick-Or-Treat Adventure: One of the largest Flash games we ever made... and it's all about Halloween. If you're a fan of classic adventure games such as Secret of Monkey Island and Space Quest, you'll feel right at home with this one as you go on an adventure to build a Halloween costume and then collect enough candies before you battle the ultimate evil! It even auto-saves your progress as you go play, so you don't have to beat the game all in one sitting.
-Haunted House Candy Hunt: In this Halloween game, we pay tribute to the games of the Atari 2600 by creating an all new one in the same style. You must guide two buddies (who just so happen to be from a galaxy far, far away) through all the treacherous rooms of a spooky haunted house as they hold hands. Should you reach the end of the game, you'll have a showdown with the ultimate candy hoarder - The Grim Reaper himself! I've also heard from a reliable source (ie: myself) that there's a secret level select hidden somewhere in the game. But you don't need that anyway, right? Cheater!
-MonsterTime: With our most recent Halloween game, we pay tribute to another favorite arcade classic, BurgerTime. Only difference is, instead of building burgers, you're a mad scientist named Doc Mock who is building classic monsters to save you from the modern slasher monsters who are out for your blood!
-Doc Mock's Movie Mausoleum: Doc Mock, I-Mockery's official horror host, performed at UCB theatre last year and is still looking for a new home to shoot his original web show at, but we have over 30 archived episodes you can still watch online. If you're looking for a good cheesy b-movie flick, check out some of the Doc's episodes that are still archived on YouTube, including his Halloween specials from 2009! Doc is planning on hitting up Universal Studios' Halloween Horror Nights once again this year, so expect coverage of that too and possibly some other surprises!
In addition to a ton of new feature articles, you can still expect our regular site updates to the Blog (don't forget the archived Halloween blog entries from years past). We've also got some great Halloween contests in store for you to participate in as well. Please show your support for all the hard work we put into our Halloween celebration by following I-Mockery us on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr to get all the latest updates.
ONE FINAL NOTE: As a writer, the best compliment you can pay me is to chime in with your comments on any articles I post, and to share them with your friends on various social networks. I can't even begin to tell you just how much of my life gets swallowed up by Halloween for two months out of every year, and the workload is pretty tremendous; so it's the little things like your comments that which keep me motivated and going full-steam ahead on my DRAG-U-LA from now through October 31st. I-Mockery's big 2014 Halloween season has finally begun and I hope you'll join me on this spooky ride once again!
Captain Seamus on 09/01/2014 2:37 am
Oh, you bet I'm ready.
ThaddiusB (Guest) on 09/01/2014 7:03 am
It's happening! Thanks so much for doing this.
Turrel (Guest) on 09/01/2014 8:28 am
This has always been one of my favorite parts of the year for the better part of a decade due to the awesome work you do. It's hard to not be excited!
goblin (Guest) on 09/01/2014 9:04 am
At last! The best time of the year is upon us!
Joel3K on 09/01/2014 9:51 am
I love how it's Labor Day, and there's already a graveyard's crop of fresh Jack-o-Juke tunes! I was waiting all of last season for an update... and only discovered a month ago that there's a Halloween jukebox still up at X-E from the previous decade, so I was using that for my fix of new jackbox tunes. I admit I assumed they were going to bring back Brute and Mummy every year, so I guess the only thing to do is to get some boxes on eBay before the prices go too far up, and eat a mix of the two while listening to the new tunes!
(Just noticed there wasn't a Comic-Con report so far this year... I don't think you need to hold off until November to post one, since all the costumes and stuff embody Halloween taking over all of pop culture!)
I-Mockery's in-house commenting system was always sort of wonky, with the way the blog comments worked differently from the article comments and the various odd glitches, but it was part of the charm. I have mixed feelings about Disqus taking over Internet comments... its homogenized interface is the antithesis of I-Mockery's resolutely old-school idiosyncrasy, but it has the perks of a modern system that keeps track of everything. My main grievance when Disqus started to get used by a lot of different sites was always that if it ever went under, it would take down all the comments on all the sites that used it all at once... but that would be kind of appropriately scary for Halloween!
caffman on 09/01/2014 3:25 pm
I've sent a picture of the beer that's on sale in the UK
ColdFusion (Guest) on 09/01/2014 4:34 pm
Disqus is fine! I'd be happy to be able to comment on everything instead of just some things.
Lookin so forward to hallyweenery!
Whoa, Doc Mock live? I'd pay cash money to see that.
Daniel (Guest) on 09/01/2014 7:08 pm
Loading up i-mockery.com every year on 9/1 brings a big smile to my face.
Thanks for all of the years of entertainment and hopefully many more, RoG!
ChrisGlass on 09/01/2014 10:13 pm
Club Packs returning? Hell yeah!
dextire on 09/01/2014 11:09 pm
Drinking pumpkin spice coffee, listing to the Jack-o-Juke, and spent the day putting up decorations. I'm so ready!
-RoG- on 09/02/2014 3:53 pm
Thanks all! Let the Halloween festivities commence!
Joel3k - Not sure I'll have time to put up a huge Comic-Con gallery again this year, what with everything else going on. If I do, it'll be after Halloween for sure!
Cody (Guest) on 09/02/2014 8:01 pm
It's great your doing the packs again this year, super excited!
Starkzilla on 09/02/2014 9:21 pm
Wooo! I've been waiting all year for this!
keeta (Guest) on 09/04/2014 7:08 am
my favorite time of the year, partly for I-mockery's huge amount of Halloween themed articles.
Tsuki0 (Guest) on 09/04/2014 9:47 am
All I can say is... MY BODY IS READY!
Orbuloid (Guest) on 09/07/2014 3:20 am
What's this? what's this!?
ActionReplayJay (Guest) on 09/11/2014 6:13 pm
Long time reader, first time commenter. You guys have been making my halloween for quite ahwile. My favorite two months of the year! Great job guys!
-RoG- on 09/12/2014 3:32 am
ActionReplayJay - Always good to hear from a first-time commenter, and hope you'll join in more of the article conversations moving forward! Enjoy the rest o' the Halloween fun!
Cheesoboy (Guest) on 09/14/2014 11:02 am
Very excited for this year's articles! Much like the poster above, I'm appreciative for the years of awesome contributions you guys bring to my favorite season/holiday of the year!
I was able to rope in a first-time viewer of the fine film classic Street Trash just last night! I'd never have known this piece of cinema existed outside of you guys...actually...I'm not so sure that's a good thing...
Kidding! Just as over-the-top and ridiculous as I remembered!
xerxes (Guest) on 09/15/2014 6:22 pm
Roger, I have a request for the jack-o-juke. Please remove the songs with profanity. I feel really old typing that.
Last year, I opened the windows on Halloween and blasted the jack-o-juke for the trick or treaters. This worked great until the occasional song kicked in with profanity. I imagine there are other situations (at work, etc.) that this is a problem. I think it was just the songs that you performed in.
Pardlopeighhg (Guest) on 09/20/2014 1:43 am
I have been stopping by Target incessantly to see if they have started carrying the Pumpkin Shaped Cheesy Potato Puffs this year. Alas, they have not released them yet, if at all! They were my #1 snack for all of 2013. Maybe you have heard a secret about them?
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