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Do you like a little MEAT with your ACTION?

After reading my latest "Stupid Toys" article, I-Mockery reader Destin Berthelot was nice enough to write in with a suggestion for another toy that I should include in my next installment of the series. While I'm always more than happy to listen to suggestions for any of the articles I write, I don't necessarily always agree with them. This is a perfect example of that... BEHOLD!

I'm so hungry, I could punch a frozen cow!

Your eyes do not deceive you, there is now an action figure for "The Meat" from the Rocky films. That's right, the lifeless slab of frozen meat that Rocky pummeled during his training has joined the ranks of action figures. This is far from stupid. In fact, this is fucking fantastic. A frozen slab of meat toy and they throw in a bloody smock for good measure? I wasn't even that impressed with the current line of Rocky figures (many of the faces just didn't look right), but my friends, I can guarantee you one thing: "The Meat" figure will soon be part of my collection. We need more action figures for completely random things like the meat! Personally, I'd like to see action figures for Rocky's two turtles, Cuff and Link. What other "action figures" would you guys like to see released?

Go Kevin Keene! Show Mother Brain who's boss with your Nintendo Zapper!

In DVD news, while I'm still eagerly awaiting the release of "Twin Peaks: Season 2" next month, I'm happy to report that they've finally released "Captain N: The Game Master" entire series on DVD! Actually, it's not the "entire" series, it's more like the first two seasons (there were 34 episodes total, but this set has 26... still pretty damned good). They couldn't include the rest of the episodes due to legal reasons, which is understandable, but why they would call it "the complete series" on the DVD set is beyond me. To those of you who don't know much about this show, it was basically every NES fanboy's dream back in the day. Well, that and "The Wizard" of course. Anyway, it was a cartoon in which a teenager is brought into the world of Videoland to help some of your favorite video game characters fight off the bad guys (led by Mother Brain from Metroid). It was a fun cartoon and it had all sorts o' characters found in the games including King Hippo, Kid Icarus, Eggplant Wizard, Dr. Wily, Ganon, Donkey Kong and more.

In celebration of the release of Captain N, I'm holding a contest in the I-Mockery forums where YOU get to become Captain N by inserting a picture of yourself into any video game you like. All you gotta do is take a photograph of yourself and then put it into a screenshot of your favorite video game in an attempt to make it look like you're interacting with what's happening on the screen. I've included a sample of myself inserted into the classic "Defender" game so you guys can see exactly what I mean.

The winner of this contest will receive a brand-spankin' new copy of "Captain N: The Game Master" on DVD! All the rules and details for this contest have been posted in the official thread, so be sure to check it out and then get your entries turned in before the deadline (April 15th). Good luck all!



Dan the man (Guest) on 03/13/2007 1:47 pm

YES! I saw that meat toy at Wal-mart when i was christmas shopping.they should make an action figure of the stairs that rocky climbs! awesome stair climbing action!!!!!


Evan (Guest) on 03/13/2007 3:18 pm

I love that action figure! I probably won't get it though...


pox (Guest) on 03/13/2007 3:23 pm


Happy Birthday Paulie (O.O)


Gus (Guest) on 03/13/2007 3:23 pm

yo, i'm going to compose a sonnet to meat, and then i'm going to buy that action figure and have it puch rocky, IRONY, NO?


Richard (Guest) on 03/13/2007 4:42 pm

Don't beat your meat.


doctor dumbass (Guest) on 03/13/2007 5:12 pm

It's always been a dream of mine to see a series of Freedom Force Freedom Force ( figures


MomKicker (Guest) on 03/14/2007 2:58 am

This is gonna haunt my kid for days.


Jamino (Guest) on 03/14/2007 8:34 am

Simply Awesome.

I actually own the mike action figure from that range, a hideously ugly old man in a pink cardigan.

Do they expect kids to want these?


the boy (Guest) on 03/14/2007 10:27 am

I gotta get some of these Rocky figures. Toys "R" Us only had the stupidest characters that never should've even been created in toy form - like the announcers and junk like that. Total bullshit.


Not you. I’m me! (Guest) on 03/14/2007 2:46 pm

Finally, I can play with my childhood hero, "Meat."

I love you meat. My belly loves you too.


Shadow40000 (Guest) on 03/14/2007 2:55 pm

What we need are some Flag Ninja toys.

Also I've seen some pretty violent toys from Resident Evil(the game, not the film) and The Mummy sold at Toys'R'Us, so a slab of meat isn't going to phase anybody. It's still a pretty cool toy prop though.


ninjawolf (Guest) on 03/14/2007 2:56 pm

According to a news story I heard today I think Rocky may have been hiding a special little "boost" for his training in Meat. And I don't mean roids.


Lone Wolf (Guest) on 03/14/2007 6:03 pm

If anything were to make it, it would be the Rocky STATUE.


Jesse B (Guest) on 03/15/2007 6:05 pm


Kirbykid (Guest) on 03/15/2007 10:20 pm

About that meat, do you what minimates are?
litle 2 inch, block guys.(kina lego like but not really)
Go here:

anyway there's a Rocky minimate set coming out and the "Workout Rocky" comes with a tiny slab of meat! Who wouldn't want a two inch slab o' meat!


Kirbykid (Guest) on 03/15/2007 10:27 pm

I just relized that that site doesn't have any pics of THE MEAT!!! so here ya go!



-RoG- (Guest) on 03/16/2007 4:55 pm

Shadow40000, funny you should mention that, cuz somebody actually Photoshopped a Flag Ninja toy in one of our recent contests. Check it out!

Jesse B, yeah the Drago one actually disappointed me. His face just doesn't look right at all. He looks more doofy 'n dumb rather than the emotionless Soviet powerhouse that we saw in the movies. I must break you. They need a "mountain playset" though, so I can buy that and the bearded Rocky figure and have him climb the mountain and scream "Dragoooooooo" when he reaches the peak. The would be the fucking best toy ever.

Kirbykid, I am ALLLL about the mini-meat. MINI-MEAT!


I H8 anime (Guest) on 03/16/2007 6:57 pm

Why the hell hasn't disney released an action figure Of CHernaborg?( he's the big demon guy at the end of the first fantasia movie)


SunnyD (Guest) on 03/17/2007 2:57 am

i would want an action figure of that boulder from the indiana jones movie. sure you could just get a real rock or a tennis ball. but it just wouldn't be the real thing


Fat_Hippo (Guest) on 03/17/2007 3:31 pm

Twin Peaks Season 2! FINALLY!! The first came out like 6 years ago! Really, it was about time!


Movies » The Worst “Action” Figure Ever Manufactured (Guest) on 04/13/2007 7:00 am

[...] From Rocky - - - Long live “The Meat!”read more | digg story [...]


Michele’s Movie Center » Blog Archive » The Worst “Action” Figure Ever Manufactured (Guest) on 10/29/2007 5:36 am

[...] read more | digg story [...]


Monnifer (Guest) on 03/21/2009 7:25 pm

I really liked the way they came off


8bitme, baby! (Guest) on 05/08/2009 11:35 pm

[...] 4 – The Meat [...]


Clubber Lang (Guest) on 11/18/2010 10:36 am

Ivan "If he dies, he dies." Drago. He was a machine.

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