As you may have noticed, I've been somewhat absent on the site over the last week ever since I put up my big Toxic High School tribute. It just happens to be one of those extremely busy months for me where I have trouble finding the time to eat, let alone get my daily site work done. This past week, an old friend (and roommate) from Virginia came out to visit us here in L.A., so we gave him the grand tour o' the town. I now have only a few days to play catch-up on all of my work because my brother is coming out to visit this weekend and I'll be showing him all around the city as well. So as you can imagine, being a Los Angeles tour guide for almost two weeks straight is leaving me very little time to work on the site. I'm also going to be doing some traveling this month as well, but at least that will lead to some good photos and stories I'll be able to share with ya. (more...)

As a young man I spent several summers employed at an Adirondack Camp that catered to the artistically inclined, emotionally frail offspring of New York Jews. Not exclusively, you understand, but it’s what we got a lot of, god bless every one of them and all their inhalers. Though tips were not allowed it still paid better than migrant farm work and most days you got to swim. Counselors, as we were called, were required to arrive at least a week before the children, to ‘prep’ the camp for their arrival, and it was under these auspices that that I was asked to accompany Dennis the handyman and address a problem involving underground bees. The few sad horses we kept were stabled near the entrance to the camp, quite a hike from the lake, bunks and other out buildings and while he was repairing the winters damage to various fences, the boss noticed bees flying up out of the ground. Lots more folks are afraid of bees than of horses which strikes me as stupid, horses being so much bigger, but the boss did not think any children would venture out to the horses if bees were coming up out of the ground. As horseback riding was one of the things he charged extra for, there was no way the current state of affairs could be allowed to continue. (more...)

RoG recently told me that there was going to be a Star Wars oriented "Deal or No Deal" episode coming up, and it looked absolutely cheesy as shit, so I Tivoed it, and I watched parts of it on fast forward for a laugh, but I'll be damned if I'm actually going to waste two hours of my life watching a shitty game show.

Apparently though they had Darth Vader as the evil banker, R2-D2, Chewbacca and Carrie Fisher as moral support, and a bunch of stormtroopers and models in "Slave Leia" outfits holding briefcases with numbers representing dollar amounts (but no actual dollar amounts). Did anybody actually see this thing? It looked absolutely wretched. Unfortunately I saw a couple of the lame Star Wars jokes they made and it made me wish that lightsabers were real so I could cut my own head off. (more...)

Have you ever heard someone talk about "that guy" who goes to a concert wearing the t-shirt of the band he's there to see perform? Every time I've heard mention made of "that guy", people have spoken of him as a clueless tool, some kind of embarrassing social pariah who clearly just doesn't "get" it. (more...)

Tonight, gentle reader, there will be tears in my house. I’d like to tell you they will be my daughters, as there’s nothing shameful in a twelve or eight year old girl crying over something on TV. I’m tempted to tell you my bride is destined to ride the boo-hoo caboose, and well she may without shame, the weeping of women being socially acceptable. But surely by now you know if I am ‘all about’ anything, I am ‘all about’ the truth. Yes, the women of my household may cry tonight, but before their tears reach the river Lachrymose, a boiling flood of extra salty man tears may join them. I could lie and tell you they were the tears of our border Lester, the wise and ancient Negro who lives in our attic, but sadly his tear ducts were long ago sold to laboratories for smack money. No, gentle reader, no. The man tears, if man tears there are, will be mine. (more...)

I'm sure you've all experienced this before, but it's one of those things that I never hear people talking about, so I'm bringing it up now. You go into a grocery store, and you find a lone coupon placed on top of one of the products you occasionally buy. It's not one of those in-store coupons that comes from the mechanical dispensers you find in some aisles, no siree... this is a bona-fide mailer coupon that was clipped out by somebody and left for one lucky individual to find. My question to you guys is simple: who is leaving these random coupons on the grocery shelves? (more...)