|Title: TMNT IV: Turtles In Time (4th Review)
Rom Player: ZSNES
Reviewer: Matt M. Koopa (mental)
Synopsis: The Ninja Turtles were like the Power Rangers in 80's. Kicking mutated tigers and old people like wouldn't know. But hell, why the fuck am I comparing the TMNT to Power Rangers, considering that the Power Rangers suck nowadays? Maybe I'm having a flashback when I was in love with both of them (and not in that way you suck gay fucks) or it's this game. But how fun is it this game really? Well if I'm having flashbacks of both of them maybe I should start reviewing the game like I have to.
Ok, so the Turtles have kicked Foot ass for... 16 years? Well, maybe. Considering Irma (from the 80's cartoon) has died from hanging herself because she can't get a guy to go on a date with her or maybe that Casey guy is suffering in a Foot jail cell. But today's show is about Shredder... taking the Statue of Liberty? Ok, so April is not the only one that gets tied-up and fucked by Rhinos, but the Turtles are watching Shredder do his Lame Fuck thing and does shit.
Ok, those first two paragraphs took enough smarts to make me mental. The story is about as stupid as their NES adventures (a la' lifting New York into the sky in TMNT 3) but as smart as that Danny kid in the first Turtles movie. And no, you don't save April (gets out a bottle of wine and dances to "The Mumbo" song from Sesame Street). And because I'm felling so nice today, I'll give a look at their newest member SMALLY!
>>>>>>>(pic of SMALLY)<<<<<<<<<<
But hell, even that Turtle chick in that shitty live-action series is better than SMALLY!!! But before SMALLY joins the group, let's give him a look at Turtles in Time story:
Scene 1: Turtles go to an unfinished building with a bunch of Foot creeps to scare Timmy "Yellow" Boy.
Scene 2: Turtles go into "Bad" New York. Beat up some old ladies and kicked a Turtle robot's ass.
Scene 3: Surfboard into the sewers kicking the crap out of a homo called the Rat King, while he was licking a rat's (CENSORED FOR SICKEN CRAP!)
Scene 4: Go into Technodome and kill robot dogs and robots ridin' by (GASP) IRMA!!! (not)
Scene 5: Shredder pulls a Chrono Trigger and sends the Turtles to 65,000,000 B.C., no smelly cave men folks.
Scene 6: Turtles end up on that Disney pirate boat ride.
Scene 7: End up on another Disney ride in Frontier Land.
Scene 8: Go to the future!!
Scene 9: On MARS!!!! (DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNN)
Scene 10: Kill Shredder, save New York.
God that list sucks, but what else can you expect from Turtle games (remember that first stage in the Arcade game? It was the set of that crappy movie Backdraft.)
I going Mental right now, good day.
Best Cheats: Nothing Entered
Game Play: 10
Overall Rating: 10
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