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Title: Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom
Author:TM, Hudson City
Rom Player: NESten v. 0.61
Reviewer: Ronin S

Synopsis: Synopsis – Hm, I think the world of Nintendo seems to be on par with South America in terms of kidnapping rates. Anyways, this relatively unoriginal save-the-princess piece does have a bit of an interesting twist; you are a vegetable, Sir Cucumber, to be precise. And it seems the Salad Kingdom has been taken over by Minister Pumpkin and his band of evil Farmies and the only thing left to do to secure his rule is (surprise, surprise) marry Princess Tomato.

What’s a lone bachelor whose cushy government job is suddenly at stake to do? Why, go off and take on the bad guys so he can hook up with Princess Tomato himself. Hey, that’s right! I’m the typical Nintendo hero! I’m now going off to risk life and limb and defeat a whole evil army just so I can marry some girl I’ve never met before! Makes sense to me.

Along the way you meet different characters named after different fruits, vegetables and herbs like Mr. Corn, Mr. Garlic, Sergeant Pepper and Percy Persimmon. I suppose they tried, but there isn’t all that much going for this piece of shit game.

Game Play - Probably the more irritating aspect of this game. You have two whole columns of commands, one on either side of you. There’s the usual Fight/Take/Look/Talk in addition to ‘Percy’, a Persimmon who later joins you on your quest and is supposed to give you helpful advice, but really just makes you wish you had a ‘Kill Percy’ command.

What’s really annoying is that you not only have a limited inventory but there are various objects you can take throughout the game that are completely useless, you have no idea what you need to take and what you need to keep because certain items that may seem useless are actually needed in later parts of the game. There’s nothing that will piss you off more in this game then realizing that you needed a certain item that you should have picked up earlier in the game that you now need and can’t go back for since the game lets you progress even though you haven’t taken all the items that you do need.

At this point, I should point out that there’s no real theoretical way to die beyond losing a fight, though you can get stuck at certain points in the game without the required items that you forgot earlier. Your fight consists of a game of ‘rock, paper, scissors’ and after you win, the enemy just magically disappears. The least they could do is show a mangled body, but they don’t even do that. And by the time you get to this point in the game, you just wish that your guy would die.

Graphics – Okay, this thing was made back in the 80’s, so I’ll cut it some slack. Graphics are cute and colourful despite being blobby and 8-bit and are about the only thing that keep the game from being a total piece of shit. What’s most annoying is that almost nothing moves, all you see are different pictures and shots as you navigate through the game with the occasional birds and other tiny animations going by the screen.

Music – Not really much music beyond a few repetitive synths which aren’t too memorable but do complement the game somewhat. However, the sound effects of little bleeps and bloops can make you go out of your mind.

Originality – Save the Princess from the bad guy, how original. The only difference here is that you’re stuck doing it with a bunch or retarded looking veggietales rejects from the 1980’s with a shitty interface, dumb graphics and annoying music and sound effects. Sadly, I could just see this coming back as some sort of sick promo for all the Atkins Lo Carb Diet crap. Don't play this unless you're really into S&M, hate yourself and really really want pain.

Best Cheats: Passwords for different parts of the game.

The start of Saladoria - SQM23TZ Captured by the Farmies - 1YVYX34MX36V You have just escaped the Police Station - VTKTSYZ1272T Entering the Resistance Base - GBGGLJHHKQK6FVM The Village - VXQM211345MYB792 Disguised as Farmies - G%BDZFGJJKL5DPN9JY Minister Pumpkin's Castle - VXWRZ11345NY87S38 The Final Battle - Q%CXFFGJJKLMDPN9SYS The Ending - Y85R-B%CFGHJTLKGPLB

You should also get a walkthrough or you will most likely be stuck at many intervals of the game.

Game Play: 1
Graphics: 3
Music/Sound: 3
Originality: 2
Overall Rating: 2

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