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Title: Battletoads and Double Dragon
Rom Player: ZSNES
Reviewer: Angryhydralisk (New e-mail address. Woo.)

Synopsis: Somebody must have been either a masochist straight from the nut house or Satan himself to think up THIS cross-over! Either way that person is a sadistic genius! The game claims them to be "The ULTIMATE team!" but if you pick this up and seldom ever played Battletoads or Double Dragon then you better expect the ULTIMATE ass-whuppin' of your gaming life! To say this game is hard is an understatement. To say this game is fucking hard is an understatement. It's proposterous!

Just how HARD is this game? First off, take the difficulty of Battletoads and Double Dragon and put them together. Next, make that even harder in the space levels. Next, make the bike level somewhat beatable (Yes, they made the speed bike level easy!Then make the first boss, Abobo, really fucking hard! Serve on a cartridge one on Super Nintendo, one controller mandatory, two optional, and prepare for a knuckle sandwich that isn't holding back!

The games of today cannot hold a candle to the difficulty of games of the past. Think Halo 2 is tough? Think an RPG game is tough? You're a fucking pussy. Play some NES games. There's your challenge. And the strange thing about games like these is despite the nearly non-existant plot and insane difficulty, these games are FUN! Anywho, let's delve into this crazy beat-em'up!

First off, the best thing is Battletoads and Double Dragon fans will be delighted! There's elements of both games tossed in to create an incredibly wacky cross-over.Battletoads elements seem to domnate slightly in this game. Plus there's just moments in this game that are a guilty pleasure, which reminds me of another game. Spider-Man/Venom: Maximum Carnage. A game that kicks your ass but you'll come back for more because it's so damned good! Here's some of the monets of thios game that brought me pleasure in playing this game...

- Grabbing the punk bimbos by the hair in the third level, kicking them in the ass, and slamming them to death!

- Getting a stick in whatever level and beating your opponent shitless (it's great too! The dragons and battletoads fight differently!) or bashing a dude through the ground into a bottomless pit!

- Whatever reaction you'd get from playing the bike level which is ridiculously easy.

- Whatver painful reaction you'd get from playing the spaceship level since it's hard.

- Fighting bosses twice your size, grabbing their crotch and punching them to death!

- The awesome intro tune at the start of the game.

Thank God for two-player! If you ever wanted to beat this game, it seems like teamwork is mandatory. But it's still hard since if anyone loses all their lives, then it goes to the continue screen forcing both players to re-start! The levels themselves...well, level one is somewhat easy but Abobo is fucking ridiculous! (unless you're playing two-player, which I'll get into on the cheats) Level two has the bike stage and it's still probably the easiest level in the game. Three is really hard but the boss is a joke. Four and five is where you suffer and the game gets a baseball bat and starts pounding your skull in! Six is hard but it can be easy if you plan ahead a little bit. And seven is short as hell but the battle with the Dark Queen kinda redeems said problem.

Really, I can't say much more than this. It's a good game but so hard you won't survive for long and if you do, you are some sort of gaming God. I recommend you play it just once. Hell, get this and Maximum Carnage for a night of fun but hard games. The intro is hilarious too! Chock full of terrible puns and a typical plot! Cheers.

Best Cheats: Make Abobo Actually Beatable: Two-player is needed. right when he appears climb to the botom and hang on the ledge. You go to one side and your friend goes to the opposite. Abobo will go for one of you and sit there, punching mindlessly at the air! The other player who isn't harrassed by Abobo should get up and punch the shit out of him from behind. Sure that player will get all the points but who the hell cares about a high score in a game like this!? Make Shadow Boss Somewhat Easier to Kill: In Level 6-1 there are lights adorned as you go with bonuses and such. DO NOT break the last two. Shadow Boss is somewhat tough but in all honesty he can't really kill you if you stay close enough to him. Beat him enough, then he develops a move where he turns into a giant spiked ball and moves around back and forth. If it hits you you're screwed. It's nearly impossible to dodge unless you left those lights up there because if you grab those, he can't hit you, and you will survive! Make Robo Manus Easy: Okay, I'm just kidding. This bastard is just plain HARD. Level Select and Ten Lives: At the character select screen, press Up, Down, Down, Up, X, B, Y, A. There is a downside to this cheat, however. If you beat the game, the Professor Bird makes a total mockery of you for cheating to beat this game.

Game Play: 9
Graphics: 7
Music/Sound: 7
Originality: 1
Overall Rating: 10

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