|Title: Ironsword: Wizards and Warriors 2
Rom Player: Nester
Reviewer: King Hadas
Synopsis: Here's a little trip down memory lane, Wizards and Warriors 2 Ironsword was one of the most astonishing fets of gaming wizardry I'd ever experienced in my sheltered childhood right next to the ingeniously made "Yo Noid" and the innovative "Ducktales 2". The story goes as so, Kuros (that's you) has just defeated the evil wizard Malikik in the last Wizards and Warriors game and now, of course is living the live the life of luxury. Every woman wants him and every man wants to be him but ol' Malikik ain't dead yet. By some strange gypsy magic Malikik has gained power over the very elements that bound are universe together, you know wind, water, earth and fire you know the ones we learned about in high school.
Needless to say the only way to stop Malikik's invincible elemental minions is to do the most logical thing anyone would do if caught in the same situation, gain the help of four giant animals. I think we all know the four legendary animals from lore, the bird king, the frog king, the dragon, and the huge cartoon bear who wants a golden bucket. Each of the animals seeks a golden item that you need to collect and give them or they won’t help you, for example if you don't give the bird king his golden item he won't fly you up into the clouds to fight the wind element or for another example if you don't give the cartoon bear his golden item he wont stop slapping your ass around the room.
After you give the fabled golden items to the four animal lords you are able to fight the four elements. I must admit the game does an excellent job of representing the four elements they all look just like I'd imagine they would, the air element is represented by an angry cloud that shoots tornados out of his mouth, the fire element is represented by a pool of molten lava with a mouth circling it, the Earth element is represented by a large block of granite that seems to have developed a severe case of PAC-MAN FEVER (his mouth is sort of shaped like Pac-man's) and finally water is represented by a kind of funny looking block of water not so much haha funny but you know.... queer funny. Oh and you have to collect the shattered pieces of an ancient and cleverly named sword, the legendary Ironsword, now I swear all swords were made out of iron but I guess I need to dust up on my blacksmithing.
Now for gameplay, it's not the best in the world, in fact it's not the best on any world, not even on Glorco, a world made completely out of "Where's Waldo," nes cartridges, you may think I'm being harsh but I'm only exaggerating a little. You see the game gives Kuros the option to swing his sword at enemies but it's actually more effective to jump into your opponents hoping the blade of the sword hits them. Enemies come at Kuros endlessly from all directions and seem to apply the same fighting technique. Beyond this shittyness the game is a platformer at heart.
You'll find yourself jumping up mountains and down funnels and through caverns and over the bridge to grandmother's house but then you'll jump on a ledge pushing the A button down to hard and ending up jumping twice causing you to soar right past the ledge to grandmas freshly baked apple pie. These aspects of gameplay are frustrating as hell but there are a few good points. Throughout every level you can find inns and spend any money you might have made from finding giant rubies in trees, caves and clouds (on a more serious note, did you know 65% of all plane crashes are caused by giant floating rubies). Now it's called an inn but you can't actually sleep in these places but you can buy helpful items like keys, turkey, helmets, shields, and weapons, as well as play a super fun game of "Drop a Skull down a Pyramid of Bones and Hope to God it Lands in a Goblet or You'll Lose all Your Money", I played that game last year in Reno and lost three thousand dollars, of course the in game version of "Drop a Skull down a Pyramid of Bones and Hope to God it Lands in a Goblet or You'll Lose all Your Money", doesn't quit have the gamblers rush like the Reno version. I wont bother you with an entire paragraph on the graphics, so lets just say their so and so.
One of the highlights of this game is its music, theirs one particular background song I like that plays in the underground caverns in the water elements stage. The music almost sounds like a remix of the old nursery song "It's Raining it's Pouring, the Old Man is Snoring" and it matches surprisingly well with all the undead types lurking about, although I think a remix of the Elvis song 'Don't Step on my Blue Swede Shoes" might be a bit more appropriate for some of the bloated corpses floating around.
I personally love this game with all my heart but that doesn't necessarily mean its any good. Nostalgia is all I feel or this game so you’re going to have to play the game yourself and form your on opinions on it. Then you can come back here and leave a comment describing in detail why me and my precious game are both enormous faggots or you can just leave some delightfully random comments like "Captain America, NOOOOO!" or "ah;fjkadj," you clever bastard.
Best Cheats: If you go into an inn without any money the innkeeper will kick your ass to the curb.
Game Play: 4
Overall Rating: 6
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