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Title: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (2nd Review)
Rom Player: FCE Ultra
Reviewer: Matto

Synopsis: There are two things in life that school teachers have taught me well. Never go into a burning building, and don’t do drugs. Thanks to TMNT 2: The “Arcade” Game, I think my childhood has been erased on all walks of life. Yes, the famous NES port of the kick-ass coin-op has screwed me over that much. Of course, I have the brains of not going into a burning building. However, if your apartment building has bowling balls falling down stairwells, I suggest you get out of that building now.

It was a great idea. Konami made a successful arcade game staring our favorite green fighting machines. And since only four of you liked the first NES Turtles game, Konami decided to port the hugely popular arcade game to the NES. With Pizza Hut as a sponsor for the pre-order offer (buy the pre-order and get a free pizza) how could it not fail?

Glad you asked, now sit down and listen asshat.

After going through all the legal credits and such that are in most of the NES games (89% of them) you get the title screen. Hey, where’s my kick ass intro Konami? Oh well, win some you lose some. So, are you going play alone? 2 Players is one of this game’s strongest points, but one player it is. Pick one of the Turtles, they aren’t different, just one is purple and the other is orange and is the favorite of everyone. Considering Mikey is one of my favorite Turtles, he will be the one Turtle throughout this entire review.

Uh oh, April’s apartment is on fire. With intelligent words like “FIRE!” and “Hang on April!” you should be surprised that they jump of a building about thirty meters away and magically land on top of the building’s… hey, wasn’t the fire on top of the building?

Say, you’ve played the arcade game millions of times. Expecting the awesome (80’s speech) graphics? SORRY! No can do. Thanks to the NES processor you get only a washed out look of the arcade game. This is only made worse thanks to the number one enemy of NES graphics, flicker. Try counting the number of times this game flickers, you’ll be amazed at how many times it does it. The animation is pretty good for NES standards, and the backgrounds are somewhat (though as I said before, washed out) nice, it’s a huge disappointment.

Sometimes I wondered if I could unlock a burning April O’ Neil, but it never happened. =(

I could just go on and on about how much this game plays, but riddle me this. Is it possible to have a seizure from such dull gameplay? TMNT 2 features one of the worst Arcade-to-NES gameplay ever, and it just amazed me how TMNT 3 played better then this. Yes, it’s that dull. Hack/Slash, wash, rinse, repeat. At least there is some variety, the bosses and enemies are really well thought out, but trying to beat them is just boring. Cheesiness makes it even worse, as “scenes” (stages) make you say WTF more then once in a whole sitting. The first stage, “Fire! We Gotta Get April Out!!” makes you wonder how nice the Turtles are. They don’t take anytime to look for other people. Maybe the Foot got everyone out before they set the building a ‘flame? Or “Come On After That Shredder Creep!!”, where the Turtles were just behind him for a few seconds then he disappears. That and the overuse of “!!” makes things even more retarded. But hey, they added two new levels and two new bosses, that should make you happy right?

One of the games finer points is the music and sound effects. Digitized drum beats, the badass Stage 2 music and they all sound just like the arcade game…almost. Boss music got kind of dull after a few seconds, the Sewer stage music was changed, and Krang’s theme didn’t get good treatment on the NES.

Want a good Arcade-To-NES port? Play Ninja Gaiden.

April kissed the Turtles on the head.
+ Music is somewhat badass
+ Cutscenes
+ God bless the jump kick
+ Boss and Enemy variety

April screamed like the moron she is.

- Gameplay is dull
- Graphics are washed out
- Some of the effects are very cheesy
- Few tunes aren’t that great
- They made Krang’s theme crappy


Best Cheats: Like I said, BRING ON THE FLAMES!!11

Game Play: 4
Graphics: 5
Music/Sound: 8
Originality: 2
Overall Rating: 5

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