|Title: Balloon Fight
Rom Player: NESticle
Reviewer: Bad Mr. Frosty
Synopsis: I've learned many a things from the humble NES. I've learned that plumbers will do ANYthing to get the woman of their dreams. I've learned that fat men can be VERY dangerous (Karnov). I've also seen more death than a guy who works at a morgue (Contra). But now, I've seen something totally new. Something I would have least expected.
BALLONS CAN BE A HAZARD TO YOUR HEATH.
It's true. Very true. Well, at least in Balloon Fight here.
You play as a little man in blue n' red clothes. He looks like a nice guy, like he all he wants in the whole world is just to sit there and hold his balloons looking out at this lake he's near. Thatís it. But things just can't be like that, can they? No sir. Nintendo had to go and make it VIOLENT. Rrrrrghh. Ya see, there are these evil, cursed men wearing BIRD masks that are out to...POP YOUR BALLOON! How wude.
Let's analyze everything here to see what could make them so vicious. So full of hate. And how the heck can our hero FLY?! Keep reading.
#1. Mental Abuse: Obviously our hero has come from a very chaos filled home life. They probably yell at him, and force him to change his sisters diapers when she had string beans(yuck). They also more than likely played P.O.D. Alive around 5 time a day or more. I believe this because there is a line in the song, "And I think I can fly!". And the poor boy must've believed 'em. But hey, if he could actually fly just by grabbing a bunch o' balloons and flappin his widdle arms in da air, then good for him. At least he's got SOMETHING to hold on to. Plus, imagine how much of a chick magnet his must be? Mario's probably very envious of him.:)
#2. The Birdmen: Now these guys I don't feel the slight bit sorry for. More than likely they come from even worse home's then our hero! Anal and duct tape are probably every day words in their house :(
But still, why do they have to take it out on the good guy? I wish I knew.
Oh but here's teh good ting, our hero is NO doormat for a bunch o' no gooders tryin to ruin his day. No siree bob! Our hero can fight back even better than his enemy! Oh yes. Not like those crappy Mega Man games where the enemy is far more experienced then you. You see, YOU can pop their balloons and send them falling to their death! But wait, whatís this?! They have parachutes?!! CRAP!! You still have a chance to ice 'em. And whatís really funny is after you pop their balloon; they just sit there with this dumbfounded look on their faces. You have to see it to get a real laugh. But anyways if you swoop down and on 'em one more time in this state, you will send 'em straight into that pound that you were staring at in the beginning of the game. And my guess is that the pond is not vacant :squigly. And if it's inhabitants do anything like what they did to Mario, then we'll never have to be bothered by them ever again.
The graphics arenít anything to shake a hat at, but they get the job done.
So in closing, just because you have a terrible life, don't think your a loser. Just grab a bunch o' balloons, and proudly stick out that chest, and flap your arms, no matter how big or small they are, you will fly like an eagle above all your problems...unless youíre a big fat lazy gothic . Then youíd need American Airlines to get your chubby feet off the ground.
Best Cheats: You're kidding, right?
Game Play: 8
Overall Rating: 8
COMMENTS TEMPORARILY DISABLED!
[Come discuss this game on
our Message Forums!]