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Title: Super Mario Bros. 3 (3rd Review)
Rom Player: NESticle
Reviewer: Matt M. Koopa

Synopsis: There are two things in life that I try to figure out, why April's tits were so big in TMNT 3 and how Bowser had kids. My life is full of questions, but there is no question of what my favorite Mario game is.

SMB 3 (or Mario 3) is called the biggest selling video game in history, which is right and wrong. It is a big seller, but it didn't sell as big as Super Mario Brothers. Second it had a 100-minute ad in the movies, called The Wizard. You see, Nintendo wanted to show off SMB3 everywhere, here's a little talk between the people who made the movie:

NoA person: Hey Bob, I just got this great idea!

Bob (the boss): Mike, we only hired you to mop floors and screw the marketing manager's slut. What do you want?

Mike: Well, you wanted to show Super Mario Bros. 3 to everyone, right?

Bob: Yes, but it better not be another one of those stupid acts. Remember when you advertised Super Mario Bros. 2 by standing out side our HQ naked with a sign saying "SMB2 is great, buy it now!!"?

Mike: Well I think this is a great idea, why don't we have Universal make a movie about this retarded kid who is good in video games?

Bob: Mike, get the fuck out of my office before I rip your balls off and put them though a paper shredder.

Movie critics bashed The Wizard, but kids of that age got all hyped up over the fact that SMB3 looked like god.

The story of SMB3 is the same. Peach has been kidnapped by Bowser, but he sends his 7 Koopa kids to make Mario's life suck. They have turned the 7 kings of the Mushroom Kingdom into animals, and it's up to Mario to save the kings and Peach from Bowser.

SMB3 was the first Mario game to use a map that let's you choose your path. You have to defeat a level to move on. You sometimes get a choice between which level you choose, which is good.

Mario travels though 8 worlds: Grass Land, Desert Land, Water Land, Giant Land, Sky Land, Ice Land, Pipe Land and Dark Land. You must kill a Koopa kid to move onto the next world.

The game is simple to control. A is to jump, B is to run and attack. The control isn't that good when your flying, but it's good when your on the ground.

The levels go back to SMB 1, except hey are more fun and less easy. Some levels get harder as you go from world to world (Pipe land *cough*). but it's good.

As for the items you get your Mushroom, Fire Flower and Star. But there are new items to be had, the Raccoon leaf let's you fly, the frog suit let's you swim better but it sucks on land, the bear suit does the same thing like the leaf, but it makes you turn into stone. The P-wing let's you fly forever in one stage and the cloud makes you skip one level.

There are new baddies to, here’s a list of them:

Goomba: Little small-fry, jump on him to kill him
Para-Goomba: The little shit grew wings and flew, dropping tiny micro Goombas to piss you off
Red Para-Goomba: Doesn't fly at all, he just hops.

Green Koopa-Troopa: The walking suicide Koopa, walk over an edge because he's a ass.
Red Koopa-Troopa: Like greeny, only he doesn't walk over the edge.
Green Para-Troopa: Hops with wings, shithead!
Red Para-Troopa: He flies, and he makes a great stepping stone.
Skull-Troopa: found in the mini-castle, come backs to life when you kill him.

Chain-Chomp: a bad bitch that wants to eat you.
Thromp: drops if you walk under him.
Boo Buddy: chases after you if you look away, BOO!!!
Roto-Disc: Just circles around a block.
Boom-Boom: The bastard that you kill to destroy a mini-castle.

That was a long list, but now you know who you will be killin'.

The graphics are great, even if they are NES graphics! Mario sprite looks fat, which is a good thing, everything is good.

Music is good to!

I got lazy, go get this game now!

Best Cheats: There are no cheats, but there are hidden goodies!
In World 1-3, when you get close to the exit, jump onto the whit block and hold down, when you jump into the background, run as fast as you can to the goal, get behind the goal to a secert toad house to get the whistle. In World 1-mini castle. After the second Roto-Disc you will find a item block holding a leaf, kill the Skull-Troopa and fly over the door to the boss. When you reach the end of the wall press up and you enter a secert room with a whistle! I forgot where the third on is, sorry.

Game Play: 10
Graphics: 8
Music/Sound: 9
Originality: 10
Overall Rating: 10


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