|Title: Snoopy Silly Sports
Rom Player: NESticle
Reviewer: Matt M. Koopa
Synopsis: Hello my fine followers. Matt M. Koopa here with another one of my fine mind reading adventures! Last time I used my powers was when I was trying to find out who fucked up "The Wizard of Oz". Well I lost some sanity after that, but I have to go though hell again to warn you about this game.
Beware, this is going to be a really fucked up review adventure...
Day 1: 9:00 p.m.
I was playing my NES when all of the sudden a brick with an NES game smashed my window. Knowing it was another one of my "clients", I put the NES game into my NES and I was about to have the most scarring things happen to me...
Their was a Roman stadium floating in the sky in the intro movie for the game, also a urban city just right of it, floating to. Either the people who made this game was on crack, or I was. Snoopy then came out of the city flying in a small airplane, it wasn't his house because he wasn't pretending to be the Red Baron. So I yelled out "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!!!?". I think I gave Mrs. Slutface upstairs a heart attack, not that I really care...
So after Snoopy reached the stadium, the title screen came up. But since I'm getting lazy, I'll tell you what I said about life scarring.
The game was a 1 or 2 player game, with the main game and a choice chooser for the different sports. Was their going to be running, weight lifting and high jump? Nope, their were things like boot toss, pizza balancing, sack race, knock the person off the boat and use a pole to get across the river. All of which suck balls. Well I finished the game, but I didn't have any sources of who made this shitty game.
Day 2: 10:00 a.m.
Well another day, another shitty adventure. I still couldn't figure out how to find the people who made Snoopy look like an ass. But another brick smashed though my window. I'm starting to get pissed off at who is doing this! HE ALOMST BROKE MY GAMECUBE!! FUCKING ASSHOLES!! ...em... Well there was a note attached with the brick, it said: "COME TO 123 BAD ASS LANE. L33T SUxx0R". Well I guess I won't be guessing who made the game after all.
Well, I arrived at 123 Bad Ass Lane, and it was a porno shop. Iím guessing this guy made the graphics, because the guy who made Oz's graphics owned a porno shop. So I enter and we have a little talk...
Me: Hi, this may be a stupid question, but did you make the graphics for Snoopy Silly Sports?
Him: Well, if you say so..
Me: Well tell me how you made them.
Him: You think your such a fucking big-shot aren't you?!
Me: No, I'm just a koopa guy trying to find out who made the graphics for a crappy Snoopy game.
Him: Well fuck off!! I'm not tellin' anybody about my experience!!
God what a shithead! Using my mind powers, I slipped into a mind that was screwed by drugs. Walking past all of the bongs and pot I found a do not open door. Fucker, this guy could hide anything from me! So I got in and saw some real shit.
He and a buddy were playing around with a NES kit, making home-made 8-Bit porn. I wanted to slap them both, but I'm just a sprite, I couldn't do a fucking thing but watch. Their boss come in looking all pissed and such because they got the stuff to make the Snoopy game, but they were playing around for 8 months, and they had three days before it was to be released.
So what do they do, they grab different Peanut's character pictures and copy them. And to make the backgrounds they just used the coloring kit and made random drawings.
I got enough info, so I left this poor bastard's mind and went to find my next victe..er..target.
I heard a rumor that a gay toy maker made the game play. So I went to a shop called "Sex Toy R' Us". I entered the door and he almost gave me a kiss. I slapped him and he started crying. I said sorry, and I asked he about the gameplay for Silly Sports. Like the last one, he refused. Well I guess it's time to mind read. His mind was filled with gay pictures, I couldn't stand it. So I made a quick look at how the game play sucked.
Long story short, he got the ideas from a gay men mag. He made the controls awful. I couldn't stand the gay pictures, so I got out of his mind and ran!
Well bad news, the guy who made the music died 5 days ago. So I visited his grave and saw the words "The music was painful, sound effects sucked and I was a virgin. Get off my grave asshole!". DeJa Vu, it was just like sound guy that died before.
Well I guess my second adventure was worth while, It wasn't as stupid and yet it was more fun. But I want to kick the ass of the person the keeps throwing bricks into my windows.
Best Cheats: If you are a Virgin, have sex with it. It might be fun.
Game Play: 2
Overall Rating: 3
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