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Title: Ninja Commando
Author:Alpha Denshi
Rom Player: NeoRAGEx
Reviewer: Dr. Boogie

Synopsis: Damn, ninjas are crafty. They’ve managed to sneak into yet another arcade game. Here, three ninjas have been commissioned to stop an evil old guy with a bad suit and big blonde hair named “Spider” from screwing up the past with his time machine and massive army. You do this by busting into his corporate offices and stealing the backup time machine and going back to undo things he did. The levels are each different time periods and are presented at random in each game. The three ninjas (not to be confused with a horrible series of movies) are Joe, who I suspect is secretly American, Rayar, she’s a girl, and Ryu, an actual ninja-looking guy. Each one has a different main weapon and a nifty giant shuriken that they can throw while flipping in any direction. Joe throws a shload of throwing stars, Rayar shoots flaming arrows, and Ryu seems to shoot some sort of ninjistsu magic projectile. Even better, the amount and size of your projectiles increases the faster you press the attack button. This means that, after a couple minutes of playing, your finger will be reasonably sore. Plus, each character has an attack that clears the screen and takes a little bit of their life in the process. Along the way to wherever it is that you need to get you will find a small assortment of power-ups. Among them, special scrolls that, when you collect three, transform you into one of three crazy arse-whupping creatures for a short while. Besides that, you get a flame sword that lets you shoot a constant stream of fire from your hand for a little while and the rest are just oddly shaped food items. Perhaps the most notable thing about this game is the awful translation. Did Alpha Denshi make some sort of pact to never make a game that is translated properly? Your status bar is a living testament to this, as your character makes remarks that are fairly bizarre sounding when you grab items, phrases like, “I have so much power” and “I am full of vitality.” When you’re attacking, you get treated to what looks like a long shout coming from that display bar. The cut scenes between the levels are no better, as after you beat a stage, you get to hear a line from the old guy about you beating his creations. My favorite has to be “You guys have driven me completely mad.” Coupled with the picture of the old guy, it’s just hilarious. Anyway, The enemies vary from level to level. Most, as the cut scenes reveal, are robots that Spider created for each time period. I don’t know why he wanted them to look the part, though. The sound effects are mainly explosions and aggravated screams of death from the “robot” enemies you kill. The music didn’t seem to work for this particular rom, but I doubt you’re missing a whole lot. In summation, ninjas seem to improve every game they come in contact with. This game barely proves that.

Best Cheats: Rayar’s flamewall attack - hit down while hitting the attack button to shoot flames out of her sides (not technically a secret, but untold, just the same.)

Game Play: 6
Graphics: 6
Music/Sound: 5
Originality: 7
Overall Rating: 6


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