|Title: Double Dragon III (2nd Review)
Rom Player: nesTEN (nesticle blows!)
Reviewer: test tube
Synopsis: Ughh, I got the ROM of this remembering how much I liked this game back in da day. Then I remembered you could actually play two player with the ol NES but you it doesn't really work well with two people using one crowded keyboard. My NES is now at the stage where the blinking on and off with the green screen has gone beyond where holding the cartridge slot down by shoving another cartridge on top that little metal doesn't even work anymore. My NES has put up with 17 years of abuse from SNES just came out neglect to N64/Playstation is big now neglect to now where I can't afford nor know which one of the thousands of new systems out now is better so I'll just buy computer games neglect. Thankfully there are ROMs n shit.
Well I was pretty pumped about buying this game when it first came out, it has all the fun of Double Dragon 2 not to mention some awesome new moves. The action is tighter, the enemies actually provide a challenge now, the control is great, the graphics are just about the same. Even better there are 2 new characters you pick up during the game you can switch between, one I think is called Chin (who fucking kicks ass) and the other is some French guy who will go down as the most useless fighter in action game history. I swear it takes you 20 minutes just to put minor damage on the most minor enemy. But other than the that the game seems pretty cool... except one thing.
YOU ONLY HAVE ONE FUCKING LIFE!
This is made worse by the fact you lose half of your energy in the first fucking room in the game. You'd think you could at least gain extra lives by beating some heads in but nope. Itís a fucking rip-off. But then again this is a TWO PLAYER GAME. My friends and I used to get all the way to end before getting stomped by the killer woman with deadly killer birds at the end of the game but shit, we made it to the end of the fucking game! Using one player is hopeless, I can barely get up to the damn elevator, if I had at least two lives I would be more comfortable and not as jumpy seeing every time a enemy breathes on you 4 energy bars drop off your life meter that contains about 5.
So I'm kinda undecided. Chin is very fun to beat ass with, but I can't even get to the first boss with. If I could hook two NES controllers to my computer it would be fucking juicy but I can't so fuck it.
This game fucking sucks, but then again it kicks ass.
Best Cheats: there aren't any! I looked high and low over the fucking net for cheats for this fucker. I don't have the energy to look through ancient Nintendo Power issues, do you know it took me from Issue one to 260 something to figure out that it wasn't an actual gaming magazine but just a fucking thick ass advertising book ran by the company itself. Man those old covers kicked ass didn't they? Especially the one with dude from Castlevania holding Dracula's living decapitated head.
Game Play: 9
Overall Rating: 2
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