I got Dumped (Well, Laugh. you got what you wanted) [Archive]

SMN

Mar 12th, 2004, 12:57 PM

I feel like such a shit.
Today, In Career class, She passed me an envelope, with all of the small charms I got her and such. There was also a note:

Dear Carl, (yes, laugh)
Sorry, I dont fell the same way you do about me"
Sincerely,
Raechel

You do know that all your girlfriend is doing is molding you into how she wants you to be. Once her mission is complete she will have no more use of you and she will movie on to the next guy who doesn't smell like girly perfume. And you will be left alone, questioning your sexuality.

Alll of that has become true. Oh shit, what am I gonna do?
http://www.cmu.edu/cmnews/030127/030127_images/lumberjack.jpg I'm fucking sunk.

:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:

:suicide

Mr. Vagiclean

Mar 12th, 2004, 01:00 PM

you know what they say "good rape is a good offense" :(

Supafly345

Mar 12th, 2004, 01:07 PM

Are you more pathetic for being dumped by a one sentance note during class, or for deciding to post about it?

Cosmo Electrolux

Mar 12th, 2004, 01:20 PM

that sucks, Carl.. :lol

maggiekarp

Mar 12th, 2004, 01:43 PM

Cry for a month, then get over it.

LAL CARL IS GHEYFAGG NAME OLO

Jixby Phillips

Mar 12th, 2004, 04:39 PM

I just want to see some more hilarious rape jokes posted in this forum.

ScruU2wice

Mar 12th, 2004, 05:03 PM

I honestly didn't know you had a girlfriend :/

Schimid

Mar 12th, 2004, 05:52 PM

Me and my girlfriend broke up because she said she didn't see me enough, and then she said she loved me later that week and now we're both happy.

All you have to do is just make her succumb to those devilish charms and exuberant sense of humor we've all come to expect from you, Carlton. ;)

CaptainBubba

Mar 12th, 2004, 05:56 PM

Remember back when I posted about that girl who yall said just wanted a fuck buddy? We've beein goin out for about two months and we do stuff without fucking more often than with.

SERVED

SMN: What grade are you in? Just curious slugger.

DementedElf

Mar 12th, 2004, 06:02 PM

That really does suck.

All I can say is don't be like a friend of mine. He get's dumped one week, and flips out about how she will be back, miss him and someother shit.

Then the next week he goes crawling back to her and tries to work it out. Basically being told if she can't find anyone better she will take him back...just fucking pathetic. He needs to grow a pair and slap her in the face with them.

SupaFlea543

Mar 12th, 2004, 06:36 PM

Thanks for sharing. That story was really interesting. No, really.

The Retro Kat

Mar 12th, 2004, 08:23 PM

http://freshwobbly.tripod.com/pics/carlton.jpg

Oh, Dear, Whoever said I would laugh and that is what i wanted.

Carl, seriously, shape up you fucking pussy, there are far worse things that can happen.

maggiekarp

Mar 12th, 2004, 08:44 PM

So that's a no for the ball-growing and smacking across the ex's face?

Darn.

Where I come from on the internet, people would be all "OMG *huggle* u poooor boy we wuv u here ^____^ adn she is a SKANK olo" But here we're all "Grow some testicles, sir."

*huggle* Ya fuckin' weenie.

The Retro Kat

Mar 12th, 2004, 08:48 PM

LIEK, OMG UR RITE!!

Helm

Mar 12th, 2004, 08:48 PM

Carl, seriously, shape up you fucking pussy, there are far worse things that can happen.

Like someone making you shave all over because you're a fag that wanted to be in some club. Human dignity doesn't suit you, it seems.

on a side-note, I like maggie again.

AChimp

Mar 12th, 2004, 09:56 PM

:lol @ Maggie

Newbies don't make me laugh very often. :(

Emu

Mar 12th, 2004, 10:08 PM

Maggie's been here since JUNE, man.

maggiekarp

Mar 12th, 2004, 10:11 PM

I'm still a newb :(

The rockinest newb since... uh... Noobie Mc...Roxursox. Yes!

And how long will that like last, Helm? How long?...

-note- Joined in June, started posting again a month or two back.

jin

Mar 12th, 2004, 10:23 PM

Too much talking. >:

Mr. Vagiclean

Mar 12th, 2004, 11:24 PM

MORE RAPE JOKES

camacazio

Mar 12th, 2004, 11:34 PM

Two rapists walk into a bar. One turns to the other and rapes him.

Helm

Mar 12th, 2004, 11:45 PM

And how long will that like last, Helm? How long?...

My hair is real long. And I hate slow songs. No actual only one of those two is true. Remember this and we're good.

ScruU2wice

Mar 12th, 2004, 11:59 PM

Like someone making you shave all over because you're a fag that wanted to be in some club. Human dignity doesn't suit you, it seems.

Retro has alot worse shit happen to him then a simple break up :/

If anyone should be telling SMN to grow some balls it's retro, because he was totally way more composed than I thought anyone could be when it happened....

Helm

Mar 13th, 2004, 12:29 AM

First of all if your post was directed at me it should not have been. I don't even care to try to understand what you have to say. Retro did what? composed? breakup? Which brings me to my second point: fuck you.

ScruU2wice

Mar 13th, 2004, 12:35 AM

yet again I have been systematically broken down :(

Helm

Mar 13th, 2004, 12:43 AM

submissive whore

ArrowX

Mar 13th, 2004, 01:19 AM

Watch out for gay people sleeper holds......you will often come too with a sore ass

Anonymous

Mar 13th, 2004, 02:45 AM

Helm deserves a plate of cookies for his contributions to this thread.

Terra

Mar 13th, 2004, 08:41 AM

Hey SNM, were you the one that let your soon to be G/F read your thread here about how you were getting to second base and wanting advice on how to do the nasty with her and she told you to seek help? You KNEW that was coming didn't you?

Anyway, I'm sorry it happened. But keep your chin up, there'll be more dumb bitches to come along....but next time just feed them shit and keep them in the dark. You'll go farther.

And keep the cellar door locked when you leave so the next one won't get out.... :)

Jixby Phillips

Mar 13th, 2004, 03:23 PM

This is like the Jackass Movie in cyberspace. :confused

The Retro Kat

Mar 13th, 2004, 07:43 PM

LIEK, STOP THE HATE

ScruU2wice

Mar 14th, 2004, 12:50 AM

This is like the Jackass Movie in cyberspace. :confused

I love you jixby...

SMN

Mar 15th, 2004, 07:28 AM

Are you more pathetic for being dumped by a one sentance note during class, or for deciding to post about it?
Both.
Carl, seriously, shape up you fucking pussy, there are far worse things that can happen
youre right. I'm not complaining anymore. I wont be such a fag about this subject.

SMN: What grade are you in? Just curious slugger.
I'm a High School senior.

you're a fag that wanted to be in some club.
I prefer the term "Sexually Open person who is TRYING to gain Exceptance".

Ghost of Fraiser

Mar 15th, 2004, 07:48 AM

Dear Carl,

heheh-HAHAHAHAHAH CARL!

Thanks but No Thanks, I'll take my chances with Gilbert in Computer Programming.

CARL! HAHAHAHAH

Raechal

Matt Harty

Mar 15th, 2004, 10:30 AM

Can't believe I missed this.

HAHA I TOLD YOU SO CARL!

Jixby Phillips

Mar 15th, 2004, 11:16 AM

It's a senior thing you wouldn't understand!!!

da blob

Mar 15th, 2004, 12:27 PM

Don't know for you, but opening this thread's 2nd page thus having Helm's comment on its top thrown at my face is the highlight of my day.

Matt Harty

Mar 15th, 2004, 08:25 PM

Now Carl's gonna come and say this was all a big joke. :rolleyes

The One and Only...

Mar 15th, 2004, 09:01 PM

Wait a second...

So you're a high school senior, but you still were dumb enough to let your girlfriend read that thread? The fact that you were dumb enough to let her know you post on I-Mockery is pretty sad.

Congradulations. You are officially the master of sabotaging your own love life. Even I've got more game than that.

camacazio

Mar 15th, 2004, 09:04 PM

No you don't >:

I get sex every time I tell a lady that I post on I-mock.

AChimp

Mar 15th, 2004, 09:29 PM

So you're a high school senior, but you still were dumb enough to let your girlfriend read that thread? The fact that you were dumb enough to let her know you post on I-Mockery is pretty sad.

As opposed to a high school junior who constantly wonders if his penis is normal and/or big enough?

"Uh... hang on, baby... I gotta get some positive encouragement. Let me use your computer."

SMN

Mar 16th, 2004, 07:20 AM

Dole

Mar 16th, 2004, 07:29 AM

And to us. A shit one.

Anyone who seriously posts about their love life on here doesn't deserve to have one.

Terra

Mar 16th, 2004, 07:35 AM

Well, your a sexy guy. You will move on and meet a girl with a little more potential. :) You'll be much happier.

Coming to I-Mock for "encouragement" is probably an exercise in futility. Your odds for survival would be better if you were naked, dipped in blood and hung in a cage with lions that were strung out on PCP. ;)

Pub Lover

Mar 16th, 2004, 07:54 AM

Anyone who seriously posts about their love life on here doesn't deserve to have one.
Speaking of AChimp...

AChimp

Mar 16th, 2004, 08:46 AM

Hey! :(

Supafly345

Mar 16th, 2004, 08:50 AM

So you're a high school senior, but you still were dumb enough to let your girlfriend read that thread? The fact that you were dumb enough to let her know you post on I-Mockery is pretty sad.It's true, girls treat I-mockery like herpes. If they find out you even had laid your eyes on a single page of it... well, lets just say that you can kiss your social life goodbye.

Matt Harty

Mar 16th, 2004, 09:30 AM

Now Carl's gonna come and say this was all a big joke.
No, this thing actually happened. I'm not worried about it anymore after Retro's fine motivational statement.

I figured I'd post this for you, Matt cuz I know you wanted to see me get dumped

P.S. To the OAO: She laughed when I showed her that post. It was a joke to her.

I could care less if you get dumped, I just figured the chances of someone like you actually having a girlfriend were slim. She was fake and so was your "friend" that was posting here before.

Now go create another story for attention.