BREAKING NEWS: OSAMA

[sspadowsky]

CNN Says that US and Pakistani forces have a "high-value Al-Qaeda target" surrounded.

[GAsux]

I heard from a few other places that they think it's al-Zawahri, which is supposed to be bin laden's right hand man. I suppose we'll see.

[sspadowsky]

Yeah, I just now saw that. Oh well. You know reporters and their desire for the first scoop.

[mburbank]

From previous experiences with fast breaking news in the 'war on terror', I'm going to guess this report means that either they have diddly squat or 'some tall guy'.

Whatever they've got, you can bet it means 'the noose is tightening'.

[Mockery]

Whatever they've got, you can bet it means 'the noose is tightening'.
What if they've got herpes? :o

[mburbank]

Doesn't matter, man. No matter what they catch, from crabs to hitler clone, they're going to use the pharse "The Noose is tightening" over and over and over.. They've been saying it for months. It's like the biggest, most slowly tightening noose ever.

[glowbelly]

:lol

[Buffalo Tom]

I heard from a few other places that they think it's al-Zawahri, which is supposed to be bin laden's right hand man. I suppose we'll see.

That's like going to McDonald's Playland for your birthday expecting to see Ronald, only to have Mayor McCheese show up.

[GAsux]

But the reports aren't from the "noose tightening" administration. They're from various sources including President Musharaf who I'm sure is pretty eager to produce some results to keep the money bags flowing.

I'm inclined to believe they probably have someone of substantial importance. The real argument to be made is why it took so long, assuming it's true. Poor weather aside, it's likely that bin Laden and his gang have been in the same mountains for quite some time. I'm suspicious of why it took so long to get the green light to go get them.

[mburbank]

I think Mushariff has no idea who he's in control of and who he is not. It's possible that he's actually driving this and has enough forces loyal to him to pull it off.

It's equally possible that this is a dog and pony show that's supposed to some degree pay off the US for not freaking out that Pakistan was basically the third worlds nuclear walmart.

Concidering how deeply tied together Al Quaeda and Pakistan's intelligence service have always been, I think if Mushariff were actually about to do anything significant he'd be dead by now.

I think the previous assasination attempts weren't failures. I think they were statements. I think they were a message saying "We can kill you any time we want."

[GAsux]

If the assasination attempts were Al Qaeda driven, I'd have to disagree with you. Historically Al Qeada has never been in the business of "sending messages" by NOT killing people.

[mburbank]

I don't think the attempts were by Al Quaeda, per se. I think his own intelligence service is reminding him who he works for.

[kellychaos]

That's one hella big noose! :eek

[mburbank]

It's still tightening...

[The_Rorschach]

You know, I was watching Empty Vee this morning and they were questioning youthful pedestrians in New York in regards to how they felt about an imminent capture of Osama Bin Laden.

None of them particularly cared. I found that rather entertaining.

[mesobe]

maybe they are saying "moose" and not "noose".

[kellychaos]

How do you tighten a moose?

Verrrrrry carefully! :lol

Somebody quick Photoshop one of them big game hunting pictures with Dubya field dressing Osama! Do it!!

[mburbank]

I understand the Noose is still tightening today.

[kahljorn]

Your mother's so fat she wears an equator sized noose.

[Ronnie Raygun]

I think this wil turn out to be nothing at all.

[mburbank]

I think you're right, but the real question is, how will this being nothing effect the steady tightening of the really, really large, slowly tightening noose?

[mburbank]

Al-Qaida Suspects May Have Fled in Tunnel

By AHSANULLAH WAZIR, Associated Press Writer

WANA, Pakistan - Top al-Qaida terrorists may have escaped a siege by thousands of Pakistani soldiers through several secret tunnels leading from mud fortresses to a dry mountain stream near the border with Afghanistan , a security chief said Monday.

The longest tunnel found so far was more than 1 mile long and led from the homes of two local men — Nek Mohammed and Sharif Khan — to a stream near the frontier, said Brig. Mahmood Shah, head of security for Pakistan's tribal regions.

"There is a possibility that the tunnel may have been used at the start of the operation," Shah told journalists in Peshawar, the provincial capital. He said the tunnels began at the homes in the village of Kaloosha and led in the direction of a mountain range that straddles the border.

Three senior officials have told AP that they believe al-Qaida No. 2 Ayman al-Zawahri may have been at the site, though the government has repeatedly said it does not know who is inside. President Gen. Pervez Musharraf said Thursday that a "high-value" target was likely involved.

The militants may have used the tunnel to escape during the disastrous first day of the operation on Mar. 16, when at least 15 soldiers were killed in fierce fighting. Still, Lt. Gen. Safdar Hussain, the commander of the operation, said over the weekend that authorities believe an important terrorist remains inside, based on the level of resistance of the holdouts.





"BUT THE NOOSE IS STILL TIGHTENING!!!" he added, stating that surely now the united states could concider the whole not making a big deal out of the Nuclear Blackmarket thing a debt fully paid.

[kellychaos]

The noose is loose. :(

[mburbank]

Just becuase they got away through a tunnel doesn't mean the Noose isn't getting tighter. The Noose obviously enclosed the area under attack AND the area under attack and pretty much most of the hemisphere. It's a big Noose, but It's TIGHTENING EVERY SECOND!!

[kellychaos]

So it's all a matter of relative perspective?

[mburbank]

Seen from space, the Noose is clearly tightening.

[kellychaos]

Yeah, but you only see the way it was tightening approximately 8 minutes ago. By the time THAT 8 minutes elapses, the tightening may have accelerated and you've already missed the very last tightening.

[mburbank]

I got to tell you, Since the Pkistanis fucked up this latest capture (or just plain lied to us about ever really intending to make a capture) I'm getting pretty starved for a Noose Tightening headline. You don't suppose the military is worrying that the whole Noose metaphor might be loosing credability?

[Dole]

No noose is good noose.

[kellychaos]

Once they got locked into the whole "the wagons are circling" metaphor, the "noose is tightening" metaphor was the next logically progressive metaphor in the old west, cowboy motif. He IS a Texan, after all. They are clearly out of metaphors until maybe they bust out with the "trapdoor is sprung" or an "at death's door" metaphor at the very last tightening ... or some such.

[AChimp]

I got to tell you, Since the Pkistanis fucked up this latest capture (or just plain lied to us about ever really intending to make a capture) I'm getting pretty starved for a Noose Tightening headline. You don't suppose the military is worrying that the whole Noose metaphor might be loosing credability?

Maybe it was a slip-knot?

[kellychaos]

One more time and I'm gonna snap! >: