BUY ME CATHOLIC SAMURAI

[mburbank]

"You want the site, Max? I'll sell it to ya."
Vinth

If you all buy me the abandoned Catholic Samurai website I will

1.) Keep all current content intact.
2.) Update the site regularly, lampooning Vinth's writing style and viewpoint
3.) Within the confines of the site I will never admit it is a parody or that I myself doi not hold the viewpoints I intend to espouse.

DONATIONS SO FAR:
Me: 0.12
Glowbelly: A dime.

[Bennett]

i have exactly 40 pennies in my desk drawer. consider them yours.

[Brandon]

Put me down for a dime as well.

[mburbank]

OMG! 62 cents Vinth! Will you sell it to me for 62 cents you great lardass liar, or was your offer to sell me your site just a cellulite tissue of lies on your huge, pockmarked, slug colored, hairy ass?

62 SHINY COPPER LINCOLN'S SUBMARINE BOY!! PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR FLOPPY LIPPED MOUTH IS! SELL ME YOUR SITE!

[kellychaos]

Throw in a Rush Limbau pill dispenser, Max. It'll be a real deal closer.

[mburbank]

PONY UP YOUR LOOSE CHNGE! I WANT ME THIS SITE!

[kellychaos]

Token for a Dairy Queen sundae?

[Brandon]

Picture of a hot, ethnic chick?

[VinceZeb]

I wouldn't call anyone a lardass, Max. You look like you are 2 sub sandwiches away from conjestive heart failure. In front of your family and friends.

If I were an asshole, I'd say that would be pretty damn funny.

[ItalianStereotype]

I'll send a dollar, some sugar packets, an empty water bottle, and a sour gummy worm. that's about all I have to my name at the moment.

[glowbelly]

i said i was good for a quarter >:

[davinxtk]

i said i was good for a quarter >:

You are good for a quarter.
Cheapest sex I ever had.



Max, I can probably spare up to 80 cents for this one.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I'll throw in a dollar, Max....

[mburbank]

Now Chunky Vincey, don't get all hot between the folds of flesh pooching out your collar, you might not call someone a lardass but you call them all sorts of other nasty things. Just because being called a fatty pushes some sort of button for you I don't think you need to throw a hissy fit.

The serious matter on the table is whether you intend to sell me Catholic Samurai. I'm totally serious here. I'll front the money and pay you through donation to your site or the mail. Other Mockers can pay me. In return, you send me everything I need to take over the site. So far we are up to:

Me: 0.12
Glow: 0.25
Bennet: 0.40
Brandon: 0.10
Chainsaw: 1.00
Davin: 0.80
Cosmo: 1.00

CURRENT TOTAL: 3.67

So were you seriosu, or is this just more submarine pussification?

SELL ME YOUR SITE, CUSTARD! I mean, COWARD!

[Miss Modular]

I pledge a quarter.

[KevinTheOmnivore]

If Vince agrees to sell the site, and follows through honestly, I will match the current mark of $3.67, bringing us to a grand total of $7.34.

There are two reasons I'd pay up:

1. To since Vince finally follow through on something he says/claims.

2. To see Max create a fantabulous spoof site.

[mburbank]

OMG, VINTH, a matching fund!

Sell me your site, you girl! SELL IT!

[ItalianStereotype]

NO...Mod pledged a quarter, bringing the original total to $3.92. therefore, your contribution is now $7.84...think you can handle that?

[Brandon]

I'll throw in another dollar.

SELL YOUR SITE, VINCE! NEAL BOORTZ COMMANDS YOU!
http://boortz.com/images/highpriest.jpg

[kellychaos]

This is a real catch-22. If Vinth sells to Max, then we'll lose the delight of watching Max disect our favorite, ultra-conservative target ... not that there are a lack of adequate, alternative targets on the internet, but still ... OK, I'll give up $.50.

[Protoclown]

Put me down for $5

[mburbank]

can someone PM him with the current total? I'd do it, but PMing Vinth would make me feel all dirty and there's no shower here at work.

[mburbank]

Oh, and tell him he's a chicken, and then type out that clucking noise to show hat a big chicken he is. Or you could go with meowing to indicate he's a pussy, I don't want to tell you what to type.

I don't know, maybe you can come up with some sort pf combined meowing clucking noise, whatever noise a pussychicken would make.

[kellychaos]

Do pussychickens have a pecker? :/

[mburbank]

No, but they have lips. You just need to turn them upside down. Ain't that right, Vinth, you slimy fat lathaer sack of Pussychicken?

"Oh, you want to buy it, I'll sell it, tough guy NO NO I DIDN'T MEAN IT OKAY I'M NOT EVEN LISTENING, I HAVE MY FINGERTH IN MY EEARTH, I'M THINGING, LALALALALALALLLAA, CAN'T HEAR YOU, BYUK-BYUK-UH MEOW BYEOW-BYUCKEOW!!"
-Vinth "Puthychicken" Clambake

[VinceZeb]

The conversation that contains the words "I'm selling my site" doesn't even begin until you pony up real money. I know that is against Max's covetous kike nature, but them's the breaks.

[Big Papa Goat]

How neoconservative of you :rolleyes

[mburbank]

I already told you I'd front it either via donation or mail if your prefer. I'm totally serious. Are you saying you want money in your hand before you'll even discuss selling? That's pretty irregular, but I'm serious and I know you'll try everything you can to weasel out of your bragging. How much would you want up front as a down payment? I'd like it if you'd name your price so I hve some idea what I'm looking at. I think it's pretty pussychicken of you to expect me to give you money to find out how much more money you want. I'll put up my money, I-mockers can pay me.

How about it pussychicken? Or has your 'roomate' thrown Catholic Samurai away?

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....



You should sell, Vinth. It's been so long since you dusted the place, it's going to need new paint. The property value is going down.

[Sergeant_Tibbs]

I'll donate $0.64 plus any loose change I find in my car.

[mburbank]

So we've got some money going on, Vinth. It's for real this time, not like when we were kidding about shipping your sorry ass overseas. I've already said I'd front cash. The ball is in your court. Put up or shut up. Name your terms, and if they aren't reasonable we'll all know you never meant it.

[VinceZeb]

My terms are very simple. 550 bucks. Half the profits if you make that site profitable. That's all.

[glowbelly]

:lol

[Anonymous]

I guess the thread's over now. Vince never meant to sell his site at all. Oh well. I'll bet that most of the people who put up their money knew it would end this way.

[AChimp]

$550? Methinks that's the gross hosting bill for its entire existence. :lol

[mburbank]

What a fucking coward. If I raised that much you'd find some other way to back out.

Fine Vinth, just let it sit there as empty as your tiny little malshaped head. You never had the barins or stamina to do much fo anything with it in any case, it was just a vanity project you couldn't follow through on and it sits there in e-space, a monumnet to your laziness.

$550.00. You seriously think that's aywhere near the market value of your site? How much have you spent on it? Is someone ripping you off? Why don't you break it down for me and I'll give it some thought. You show me what on Catholic Samurai is worth even $100.00 and I'll think about it.

[Rez]

havent even gotten to the part when he talks about "half the profits"

you sell it, it mens it OVER, you dumbass.

[AChimp]

I still have that old site sitting in limbo for you, Max... kinda stopped working on it, though. :/

[Tropical]

Come on vince zeb, offer it for 50 bucks and you're a big winner. Like anyone even reads your page. Just never come back to i-mockery.com and there's no humiliation to face.

Put me down for $30 HKD. That's hong kong currency :/ I can't be bothered to get an exchange.

[KevinTheOmnivore]

Vince, you pile of crap, why should Max pay you portions of any profit he brings in? Are you saying that you should be subsidized by his hard work? I think you're setting the tag so high because you know and fear that Max could actually do a better job mocking your site. He'll make even more of a joke out of you, and be more successful doing it!

[VinceZeb]

The market value of the site doesn't mean shit. If you want the site, you know the terms. Other than that, I think I'll just let it sit there.

[KevinTheOmnivore]

Pussey.

[mburbank]

So you admit that your offer wasn't for real, and that you're a coward., and thaat the whole thing was just so much bluster that you didn't expect too get called on becuase you are a chowderhead and you still haven't learned that when you boast about crap you'll never have the stones to do you look like an idiot. Color me surprised.

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[VinceZeb]

I made the offer for the site. You thought in your own little kike way that you would be funny and offer me chump change. I want real money for my site and if you are unwilling to pay for it, I couldn't care less.

[mburbank]

It's kind of late for you, isn't it, Vinth? I wouldn't want you to wake up all cranky. I don't know what all amount we were up to before your bizarre request for more money than anything you ever write will be worth AND a share of 'profits' from my writting for which I often get paid quite a bit more thn the price you named, but it wasn't chump change. It was more like a garage sale price for something you don't use anymore.

It's particularly sad to me though, that your last daily bitching is "Those whacky Japanese". It's like Raul Julia's last movie being 'street fighter'. What a sad note for you to go out on.

Oh well. If you sober up and realize you can make some money off something you don't use and don't care about, let me know. Until then, loose some weight, will you, you great, greasy sack of giblets? Your pushing the continentall plate out of alignment.

[Perndog]

I'm in for $550 Jamaican. Will that do it?

[VinceZeb]

So you don't want to buy it? That's fine by me. Just another notch on the long list of failures that makes up your life, just like your retarded looking children, ugly ass wife, stupid ass job, and loser existance.

[Bennett]

True story:

There was a kid on my block growing up, who I was friends with for the most part. Every now and again, though, he would puff up his chest and start a fight for no other reason than to be a brat. He would continue to say the meanest things until you actually decided to fight, at which point he would run home and hide inside. As I would turn around to walk home he would come back outside and begin with the insults from his front porch, until I turned around, and then he would go inside. Except for one time, when he turned to go back in, his MOTHER had locked the door... apparently even she had tired of his schtick, and she said to me, "go ahead, he deserves it." So I hit him a couple times and she said it was enough and then I went home... I guess I'm wondering when Vince's mom is going to lock him outside.

[AChimp]

So you don't want to buy it? That's fine by me. Just another notch on the long list of failures that makes up your life, just like your retarded looking children, ugly ass wife, stupid ass job, and loser existance.

:lol

Can I add "failing to reimburse Vinth for his failed investment" to my resume, too?

[KevinTheOmnivore]

Yeah, Vince seems to take the American cotton industry approach to things.....

[mburbank]

What, you mean the giant assed cowardly pussy chicken approach?

Vinth, if your too scared to make a reasonable offer that's all right. Pull yourself together and come out from under the bed, little girl. If you want, I can sell you some of my credability, you morbidly obese, unmarried, no kids, no known job, invisible cowardly semi-entity.

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[Perndog]

I've still got $550 Jamaican right here. Whaddya say?

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[davinxtk]

God, I actually read a good deal of his site the other day.



My head still hurts.

[VinceZeb]

davinxtk, I'm sure my site did make your head hurt. It wasn't filled with attention-whore pics and whiny liberal rants.

My price is reasonable to me. I could be... persuaded to lower it, however.

[mburbank]

Lower it to $50.00 and I'll give it serious concideration.

In the meantime;

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[davinxtk]

davinxtk, I'm sure my site did make your head hurt. It wasn't filled with attention-whore pics and whiny liberal rants.

No, you're right, it wasn't filled with attention-whore pics or liberal rants. It was filled with half-facts (at best) and horrible english. Not to mention how completely fucking ugly it is.
As wide open as my post was to some witty comeback, your half-assed attempt at one exposed your undefended spine, oh samurai.

[mburbank]

It used to have some porno in it, but they slapped his wee wrist and made him remove it.

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[AChimp]

It was funny when they made him remove the porn. Someone didn't read the terms of use agreement. :lol

[mburbank]

Oh, he read them. He just didn't understand what they meant.

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[Sergeant_Tibbs]

I think he finally killed himself.

[Drew Katsikas]

While you're here, Vinth, what happened to meeting Sspad?

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[Zhukov]

:lol at this thread

I'll give $AU20

[mburbank]

It went into hiding after it's cowardly fat ass did not show for it's meeting with Sspad.

It's website remains are still on line, sad and empty.

I would still like to buy it. I can't see paying more than $50.00 bucks American, though, unless it makes a case for why it's site is worth a penny more.

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[MEATMAN]

I've added up all of your contributions, as well as adding my own. They are summarized as follow, with conversions as necessary.

Max Burbank: $0.12
Glowbelly: $0.25
Bennett: $0.40
ArtificialBrandon: $1.10
kellychaos: $2.19 (price of a medium DQ sundae, plus 50 cents)
ChainsawSmash: $1.00 (garbage has no market value)
davinxtk: $0.80
Cosmo Electrolux: $1.00
Miss Modular: $0.25
KevinTheOmnivore: $3.67
Protoclown: $5.00
Sergeant_Tibbs: $0.64
Tropical: exchange for $30HKD is $3.85
perndog: exchange for $550JMD is $9.03
Zhukov: exchange for $20AUD is $14.18

Subtotal: $43.48

My contribution: $13.00

Grand Total: $56.48

This is too much for such a crappy piece of 'work' that Vinthy calls 'Catholic Samauri.' By the way, Vinth: My contribution is entirely in pennies! Count them for when you have an afternoon to kill! BWAHAHAHA!

[Anonymous]

Uh, doesn't Vince get free hosting anyway? And he can't have more than 100 hits a month, and all of that's just us anyway. :/

I'll set up a jokey conservative rant page for you, max, for $50, and I'll even do the web design for it. And buy you a domain name.

[mburbank]

I would seriosuly concider that, Chojo;

My fantasy, though, was to take over Catholic Samurai in mid stream, something that reduces the worth of the site for me every day he leaves it sitting unattended.

I wanted to move slowly from self unintentional self parody of Vinth to my intentional parody of Vinth. That was the motivation for me, so what I was offering to buy from Vinth was the brand he'd created, which I valued at $50.00 at peak, $10.00 of which would be to aquire the rights for all his material currentlty there, including what passed for design with him, (which as a piece of outsider art had some value in and of itself). Since then he's really thrown the brand down the toilet.

That was an interesting enough task to make setting aside the time to do it worthwhile.

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....





He's dead, Jim.

[AChimp]

Netfirms isn't free, as far as I know. Vinth is paying at least $5/month to keep the site up.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I think he's paying about $4.90 too much.

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[Seven Force]

Wow...is he even alive anymore? :/

Maybe he did kill himself. I'm really starting to suspect he's a character though. I'd go to all that trouble...

[FS]

Who're you?

[Seven Force]

Who're you?

[Helm]

Yeah that's right, ask FatSatan who he is. Earning points all the time, jerk.

[Seven Force]

I don't have to earn points for nobody. >:
Bitch.

[Anonymous]

YOU DRIVE A HARD INTERNET BARGAIN, PUNK, WHAT WOULD YOU THINK ABOUT FIGHTING ME IN REAL LIFE YEAH HUH WHAT WHAT'S THAT YEAH THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT PUSSY

[Seven Force]

I would. :(

[Captain Goodtimes]

go wait on the corner for chojin to come kick your ass :lol

[Seven Force]

:chatter

[The_Rorschach]

Five dollars on Chojin. . .And when he wins, proceeds due to Burbank's 'Catholic Hijacking' project.

[Seven Force]

It'd be $5 down the drain, i'm afraid.

To Chojin:
Why would you want to fight me anyway? :/

[The_Rorschach]

He doesn't.

He was being facetious. I threw in the bet comment to keep the thread from being utterly and totally derailed. You are being an ass for continuing in this vein. Now do us all a favour and hang yourself.

Immediately.

[Seven Force]

WTF? :(

EDIT: I'll put $5 down for it also.

[FS]

hey guys

hey guys

hey guys

[AChimp]

Hey now. Five dollars can keep Catholic Samurai online for one more month.

Support a worthy cause. >:

[Seven Force]

Yeah, that's what I was talking about. :/

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[Anonymous]

I KNOW NINJITSU

[hawaiian mage]

Wow, if this Vinth guy ever comes back I've got $20 paypal bucks to put into the Samarai pot. Like, totally.

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[Cosmo Electrolux]

he won't be back.

[mburbank]

3/26/04 9:29 AM CST

Those Wacky Japanese.....

[Zhukov]

What do you think of "EvilConservative#1", burbank?

[mburbank]

i dont know what that is

[mburbank]

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Oh, God, it's gone! IT'S GONE!!!

[Seven Force]

I knew somebody would notice that! :)

[Preechr]

It's cached! (http://www.google.com/search?q=cache:qv8PVe7lPYIJ:catholicsamurai.netfir ms.com/+%22catholic+samurai%22&hl=en&lr=lang_en)

[mburbank]

OH THANK GOD!!!

I think we should make an effort to get the site preserved as a shrine to our national heritage.

[Zhukov]

i dont know what that is

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=14357


Has anyone tried emailing Vince?

[mburbank]

I PM'd him shortly after he vanished. Nothing.

Evil Con shared some sentence structure stuff with Vinth, enough that's it's possible, but there wasn't enough in there to make me anything like sure.

[mburbank]

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[Miss Modular]

The plot thickens...