Fuck my birthday.

[FS]

I'm not doing it this year. I'm not. Another fucking year down the drain. Twelve months of trivialities. Fifty-two weeks of failure. Three hundred and sixty-five days of fucking up. Eight thousand seven hundred... well, you get the idea.

It's not my goddamn birthday today. Everyone, unwish me a birthday.

firohaioghrioofafggg

[MLE]

have a very unmerry unbirthday :(

[Emu]

UNHAPPY BIRTHDAY ;<

[Matt Harty]

yadhtrib yppah :(

[FartinMowler]

Happy Birthday from Matt Harty :)

[Pub Lover]

Happy Not Your Birthday thing that you're not having... or whatever. :/

[MrAdventure]

dear fs' birthday,

get lost,

love mradvetnure

[Zomboid]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FS FROM ALL YOUR FRIENDS AT I-MOCKERY!

...AND MANY MOOOOOORE! :rave

[AChimp]

Happy birthday. :rave

[Jixby Phillips]

Happy birthday. :rave

[Supafly345]

On my planet you can actually remove your birthday from the calendar.

[Mockery]

:aok

[Protoclown]

EAT A SHIT CAKE AND CHOKE ON IT, FATSATAN :love

Unhappy Birthday! :)

[punkgrrrlie10]

Mine was on the 10th. I took a practice Bar exam...I don't wanna be a lawyer anymore so I feel ya :(

unhappy bday to you

[FS]

MrAdventure's unbirthday wish was probably the best, but there were many good ones.

I would thank all of you if there was any reason for me to be the center of attention today, but there isn't.

[ScruU2wice]

on the plus side you probably saw more real world time than everyone here combined... :(

[Ninjavenom]

Fuck you, birthday boy >:

[Anonymous]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TRY NOT TO PRETEND YOU DIED THIS TIME >:

[sadie]

dear fatsatan,

if you don't even like your birthday, why would i wanna fuck it?

love, sadie

[Sajuuk]

Subject: Question

Dear sadie

If FatSatan's birthday had all the qualities it needs to be deemed "fuckable", would you do it with a strap-on?

Sincerely,
Sajuuk

P.S. Don't tell us please.

[sadie]

dear sajuuk,

i appreciate your imaginative letter; however, as the birthday in question is not yours, i find myself not inclined to address your pornographic fantasy.

[i.e. fuck off.]

sincerely, sadie

[Big McLargehuge]

Here in Arizona you still have five more minutes of painful unhappy birthday, I am celebrating it for you by watching Iron Chef and going to bed >:

[Spectre X]

Unhappy bizarro birthday FS.

[glowbelly]

i bet if everyone gave you a popsicle today you'd be singin a very different tune, mr. fatsatan >:

[kellychaos]

The very idea of a strap-on is blasphemus and an abomination to God ... unless it has a crunchy, cherry-flavored coating.

[glowbelly]

like a popsicle :D

[FS]

A... strap-on popsicle?

[glowbelly]

we could just eliminate the strap on aspect and fuck you with a popsicle, if you like. :)

[kellychaos]

That'll pucker him up.

[glowbelly]

and sweeten his ass

[FS]

My ass is already as sweet as it gets. :o