What is the most pain you've ever been in?

[McMock]

I'm afraid I won't make a good example posting in this thread. The worst pain I've ever been in, not counting the one time my armpit was charred as a baby - I don't consciously remember that, was a cramp in my leg that just would not stop. Eventually it stopped anyway.

[Mike]

When I was 7 I was beaten with a spring from a car. The spring had been left out in the sun for a long time and it was hot.

[Anonymous]

hahahahahaha

[Ftang Ftang Olay OLay]

could a least been a hot brand or sumthing but a spring...

[Supafly345]

McMock gives me a cramp in my eyes.

[Anonymous]

I'm just living vicariously through his assailant. He must be a pretty cool guy to beat up a jackass with a huge, red-hot comical spring. Since that's what I'm going to assume a 'car spring' is.

[St8ic]

I had a fractured leg and dislocated knee, and I walked on it for two days before I went to the hospital. :/

Fortunatly, Canada has free health care. Take that.

[Mike]

Assumption is the loudest speaker of ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Mike is the best getter of jokes.

[Geggy]

lets beat mike with every car parts there is, i'll start with a muffler then the carborator

breaking my collarbone in two places after falling off my bike while attempting a tail whip...the pain was H E L L. internal bleeding in my left lungs after i slipped and fell off a trampoline while landing on a 30 or so foot jump. so many more injuries i'm amazed i'm even still walking...

[ArrowX]

When my cat went insane ant tryed to kill me :( 38 stitches

Little fucker almost slit my carotid artery :lol

[executioneer]

one time i went to help a little kid get his ball out of what i thought was just a small patch of himalayan blackberry vines but it was actually growing on the side of a really steep hill, and i slid down the hill thru the vines until i was snagged well enough to stop moving :( it hurt so much that i puked :(

[AChimp]

After you dislocate your knee or tear the ACL once, it never really hurts as much as the first time. Your leg goes more numb than anything, and it feels like it's going to bend in the opposite direction if you even move it slightly. :(

[Mr. Vagiclean]

:x

[the_dudefather]

the only recent bout of pain was on the way to see kill bill vol 1 in the cinema, i trip on a precarious path and busted my ankle, and after the film it was horribly swollen and painful. whats worse is i attempted to attempt the 15 minute walk home. i went 5 mins then got a taxi.

Uma therman was mocking me with the whole wiggle your big toe scene lol

[da blob]

I once kept my contact lenses overnight (more than 24 h all in all) and got an eye ulcer it hurt so much I couldn't walk my mother had to ask for a wheelchair at the hospital.
Also a kidney infection - it was a mild one, but still. The full blown kidney thing is a killer, my brother in law had a calculus once and when the pain kicked in it was so overwhelming he had a seizure on the spot. It's like the brain disconnects itself because it can't handle the pain, said the doctors.

[Pub Lover]

I once fractured my spine. It didn't start hurting till I woke up four hours later in a police cell.

[ziggytrix]

kidney stone. >:

hurt so bad i threw up. and i never thow up cuz i hate to. so i hurt like something was boring it's way thru my guts and my mouth tasted like half digested beef stew. i thought maybe it was my appendix, so i had to go to the goddamn emergency room where they asked me how bad my pain was on a scale from 1 to 10. i told them 7, cuz i figured 3rd degree burns over 85% of you body would be the benchmark for 10. but then they made me sit in the waiting room for hours, then another private waiting room for hours, during which time i had to go to the bathroom and heave up the rest of my stomach's contents, then a few dry heaves.

and that was the best halloween ever.

[Ftang Ftang Olay OLay]

catching myself in my zipper was pretty nasty :(

but the worse was when i fell about 15ft and landed on my back on a kerb stone

i broke my back, most of my ribs and punctured a lung all i remember was not being able to breath proper then waking up in hospital.

but i can still walk after that.

[Zbu Manowar]

Infected root in my molar. I had to have two more shots in my tooth just to get me from ripping the armrests of the dentist's chair. Later when I got another infected root I went to another dentist and didn't feel a fucking thing.

[ThisIsWitty]

I slammed my hand in a door, the pain made my legs go weak, while my hand is still in the door I collapse on the curb and smack my face in the road. Then somone opens the door, and that hurt more.

[executioneer]

ISTN THIS A FUN THREAD :x

[Matt Harty]

READING THIS THREAD

[ArrowX]

Another time in forestry class I was carving and the fagot kid next to me got the smatr Idea to kick the Piece of wood i was cutting. It caused me to carve almost all the skin off of my right thumb and the blade stopped near the cuticle :O

I've also ingested battery acid, small amounts of turpentine, gasoline, liquid plastic, motor oil, and Lead paint.

And people wonder why I'm stupid.

[Matt Harty]

NO FIGURED YOU ATE PAINT CHIPS

[DeadKennedys]

Another time in forestry class I was carving and the fagot kid next to me got the smatr Idea to kick the Piece of wood i was cutting. It caused me to carve almost all the skin off of my right thumb and the blade stopped near the cuticle :O

I've also ingested battery acid, small amounts of turpentine, gasoline, liquid plastic, motor oil, and Lead paint.

And people wonder why I'm stupid.

Should I laugh or cry?

For me, kidney stones and wisdom teeth.

[ArrowX]

pussy my wosdom teeth don't need to be pulled. Just sanded down every 3 weeks

[McClain]

During a scrimmage in high school I got tackled and slammed on my tailbone. Any movement whatsoever was excruciating.

or

The gas chamber in boot camp. That was a friggin' nightmare. I laugh about it now and say, "I could do it again!" but it sucked reall bad.

or

Playing basketball and I had a fast break layup. On the way down from the shot some asswipe decided to stand underneath. All of my weight went down on my ankle which landed on his foot and rolled to what seemed like a 90 degree angle. I had so many little chipped, broken and fractured bones. It was horrible.

[Captain Goodtimes]

Well when i was 15 i wanted to smell sexy for the ladies and got some colonge on my testicles and I burned then to hell. :)

[CastroMotorOil]

where is les waste with his dental horror stories :(

[DeadKennedys]

pussy my wosdom teeth don't need to be pulled. Just sanded down every 3 weeks

I believe that would make you the pussy.

[Terra]

My anesthesia wore off in the middle of an appendectomy. I don't remember much of it as they said I probably have some mild form of amnesia but to this day I can't watch the last act (where they eviscerate Mel Gibson) of Braveheart.

[Father §p@z]

The most pain I have ever been in was in a REALLY bad fire, the smoke made me dizzy, and being the stupid person that I am, I forgot to bring an oxygen tank. Well, I fell straight into a burning chair, and boy howdy did THAT wake me up! I suffered a small third degree burn and couldn't move for the next month. Anyone who has ever been burned really badly, that is a cakewalk compared to third degree burns. Yeesh!

[McClain]

Actually, 2nd degree burns are the most painful. 3rd degree is when you burn the nerves. So either you didn't have 3rd degree or you're lying your ass off.

[Father §p@z]

Have you ever HAD a third degree burn McClain?

[McClain]

Only on my genitals.

[Terra]

As I understand it, the only treatment for that is oral.

[Sethomas]

Well, what happens is you get a 3rd degree on a small area and 2nd degree burns radiate in a large area around it. So, it's like the eye of the storm is the least painful.

[Father §p@z]

Seth's right. But most of the time I was on morphine, so I didn't really care :hypno

[Skulhedface]

I don't know if it counts as painful, but it sure was excruciating, and I think psychological pain counts...

When I was 8, we went to Galveston Beach and were in the water on an inflatable raft. I fell out and couldn't find my way up too quickly but when I did I came up and got stuck under the raft for about two minutes. Not being able to breathe at all for two minutes was very painful.

[Ftang Ftang Olay OLay]

morphine is great they give you some and then after your like

GIVE ME SOME MORE!!!!!!

[Sacks]

This one time I was helping my friend take out his garbage, and in his part of town they have these huge paper bags to put your trash in so they're open at the top, it's really weird. Anyway, so I'm taking out the trash right, and the bag falls, so I reach for it and apparently the night before his older sister had a big party or something because there were all these broken beer bottles at the top of the bag :(. So, one of the beer bottles goes halfway through my right ring finger, and my brain was like "OH man, OOH MAN" and then I start staggaring around bleeding everywhere, and then at the hospital the guy is "cleaning" it, jamming stuff all around in the hole, it was awful. Now the only thing I can feel in that finger is intense pain. Curse you Mr. Budweiser, CUUURSEE YOUUU!

[Bod]

Arterial blood test, agonising. And they don't usually get the artery on first go, so you have to re-suffer about 3 times.

At the time I was unable to breathe with oxygen mask on my face, so then panic ensued and pain even worse.

[Recreate the Virus]

One time, a girl ripped my heart out. It hurts just thinking about it...

[King Hadas]

one time I was totally macking on this chick and she kicked me in the nuts and smashed my left testicle three times smaller then my right one and when I was on the floor in terrible pain everyone started laughing at me :(

[Sethomas]

I was unconscious when they did my arterial tap, so I didn't really notice any pain from it. I just woke up wondering why I had stigmata. The full day or so after I started regaining consciousness was perpetual agony, but I was too fucked up to really care or even notice the pain.

Another painful episode of my life was the summer after fifth grade when I spent the day in the sun and developed second degree burns over almost my entire back. The kicker was when my aunt convinced me a few days later that the best thing for it would be a cold shower. Merciful Christ, that was not fun.

[McClain]

My brother got a severe sunburn when we were kids. The next day he was covered in blisters but my dad still made him deliver the papers for his route. He had to put that newspaper carrier bag over his head and on his shoulders. I remember him wincing in pain for the entire trip. I offered to take some of the papers out so it wasn't as heavy.
I wonder why we didn't use a wagon? Or why I just didn't do it for him? God, I'm an asshole.

[davinxtk]

Ingrown toenail removal surgery.

I had a pretty advanced infection and my big toe was swollen to about twice its normal size. It was bright red and extremely sensitive to pressure.
The toenail has grown long, and on either side the forward corners of it are tucked well under tender, infected flesh.
What the podiatrist does is take an incredibly sharp pair of scissors and shove it straight under the toenail, along the side. Snip. Further, deeper than it can be seen past the root of the nail. Snip. Including flesh.
Repeat the same for the other side.
Visualize the toenail now cut into three pieces. There's a strip down the middle that is still perfectly attached, the only part of the nail that's going to stay. On either side of that, there's a weak, soft piece of nail completely detached from its root and the skin beneath it, but held in place by the infection.
Tweezers grip one of the pieces, and pull out out at an angle so it doesn't break. Same with the other one. Blood gushes.
Electric cauterization of the blood vessels inside the toenail.
Cotton swab on a wooden stick, covered in some jelly antibiotic acid. One shoved into each gaping hole left by the pieces of nail.
Bandaged, and wrapped.


The first three times I had this done (ages 7, 9 and 10) I didn't have any kind of anesthesia. The fourth and fifth, I had weak local anesthesia. The last time I had it done, there was so much swelling that the anesthesia couldn't even get to the nerves. A rubber band around the base of the toe didn't cut off the cicrculation enough to numb it, not for an instant.

That was three years ago. I'm so glad I haven't had once since.
My toes started hurting while I was typing this.

[DeadKennedys]

Is that why you always look so damn mopey?

[davinxtk]

No, actually, that has more to do with my general distaste for humans.


http://24.60.240.39/mrh/0901.jpg


Is that better?

[da blob]

in a faggish way, maybe.

[FartinMowler]

I called it Frankenfinger :( I got exhausted going up and down a ladder with my hedge trimmer on a very hot day. I set my idle so it would shut off when I released the trigger but it ran on for a second and caught my finger. My customer came home and took me to the hospital. That was the longest I ever didn't play my bass. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v68/fartinmowler/frankenfinger.jpg

[Father §p@z]

Holy SHIT :(

[Jixby Phillips]

what a coincidence, thats how I describe YOU :eek

[Jixby Phillips]

get it, because you have like a preist schtick on these boards, and you're also a peice of shit!

[Father §p@z]

Stop following me, you troubled individual!

[Jixby Phillips]

lol do you get it???

[Father §p@z]

Yes, I get it. I am a priest, hence the holy part, and you think I am a pile of shit. Holy shit. BRILLIANT WATSON. SO FUNNY I FORGOT TO LAUGH >:

[Deer Berry]

OH NOW I GET IT!

[mubert]

I was running, and I accidentally knocked into a girl with steel wire glasses. They shattered into my forehead, and the wire ripped out part of my eyebrow. FUCKING AWESOME!

[Father §p@z]

COOL :lol

[mubert]

:lol :fu

[Father §p@z]

:( Sorry for laughing at your pain. But that's basically what this thread is for :(

[davinxtk]

in a faggish way, maybe.


Sure, jump right in, baby.

http://24.60.240.39/i-mock/butt.jpg


I love y'all.

[Father §p@z]

>: I did NOT need to see that >:

[davinxtk]

NOTE TO SELF


ALCOHOL + INTERNET = FUCKING STUPID IDEA

[Father §p@z]

It depends. With tequilla, a person is to friggen drunk to type, and it comes out like this: wkjefgoiqwebhaglhudfihghqf
But with Cinnimon Schnapps, you get a half-assed asshole, like me.
With beer, you are too cool for the internet, as you are most likely at a raving frat party, puking out the windows. I have yet to experiment with all of the different liquors, but I'll keep you all posted :)

[davinxtk]

This is Jagermeister, which I ran out of, and rum to fill in the gap afterwards.

[Father §p@z]

Ok, I'll remember to stay away from Jagermeister and unspiced rum (CAPTAIN MORGANS KICKS ASS >:) I'm sure nobody wants to see a pic of my ass.

[DeadKennedys]

It depends. With tequilla, a person is to friggen drunk to type, and it comes out like this: wkjefgoiqwebhaglhudfihghqf
But with Cinnimon Schnapps, you get a half-assed asshole, like me.
With beer, you are too cool for the internet, as you are most likely at a raving frat party, puking out the windows. I have yet to experiment with all of the different liquors, but I'll keep you all posted :)

You don't drink. It's obvious.

[Anonymous]

Did davin finally get around to posting a schlong picture? ;<

[ArrowX]

Once in grade 6 some kid nailed me in the leg with a Razor Scooter and it tore a huge chunk of bone out of my goddamn leg.
I would show the scar but it looks too pussyish no because my parents made me soak in peroxide and used this shit that makes scars less pominent :(

[FS]

Did davin finally get around to posting a schlong picture? ;<

I didn't see it myself but I'm pretty sure it was just a butt.

And if past experience tells us anything, it was badly lit and looking depressed.

[FartinMowler]

And if past experience tells us anything, it was badly lit and looking depressed.


:picklehat

[nothing4buddha]

:lol

[Mr. Vagiclean]

oh drummin almost all your replies are so CUTE i juwST WANT TO FUCK THAT ASS

[nothing4buddha]

OH NO YOU DI'INT :snapfingers

[the[Hitman]]

Jager is great.
Tastes way too much like toothpaste.
Don't do more than a few shots of it either.


Don't mix jager, fireball, polar ice, crown, blue liquer, jd and no name brand cola.



Oh, and don't do a boilermaker if you cant chug beer.



Anyways, most pain has to be when I got a 4 foot stick through my right calf.

[davinxtk]

Did davin finally get around to posting a schlong picture? ;<

I didn't see it myself but I'm pretty sure it was just a butt.

And if past experience tells us anything, it was badly lit and looking depressed.


Yeah, it was just my ass. And while your comment actually made me laugh rather loudly, it was lit well enough to show how completely pasty and Irish I really am.

And it's actually a perky butt for a skinny white boy.

[Terra]

Please post said "perky butt." As the rest of the goods are above average, it would be most appreciated by one of your fan club.

THNX!!

[davinxtk]

Any time.




But you're buying the booze.

[Terra]

Where do I send the money??

[davinxtk]

You're missing the point, babe.

http://24.60.240.39/i-mock/license.jpg

[Terra]

:confused

You don't have people there that can buy your stuff for you?? I remember you posting something about your birthday party and you got shitfaced. I didn't think it was off of Koolaid but I could be wrong.

So I don't think I missed the point. I just wanted to know where to send the money.

[davinxtk]

I was trying to pull an age joke, it usually gets pulled for me around here. I didn't realize you were just as young as I am.

Next time I happen to be absolutely shitfaced and the last person awake at a party, I'll make it up to you.

[Terra]

And where do I send the money? :brokenrecord

:)

[Jixby Phillips]

SHUT UP!!!!!

[Terra]

NOOO

[DeadKennedys]

My friend and I were running through a pasture away from a crazy horse trying to trample us, and I got clotheslined by some barbed wire.

[mubert]

Dont you mean "decapitated", or at least "badly wounded"?

[The One and Only...]

Pain? Probably when I was horribly constipated. When I did shit, it hurt like fucking hell. I thought I was going puke all over the floor, but I managed to keep it in.

Afterwards, I had to crap almost immediately after I ate a big meal for a month.

[FartinMowler]

AOA told a story about himself being full of shit :/

[ernasty10050]

when i woke up, my leg hurt

[ThisIsWitty]

CHARLIE HORSE OMG OMG KILL ME PLEASE

[camacazio]

omg stop posting

[the[Hitman]]

terra needs to calm down over davin.

i'm already tired of her shit and i only read this shit once every couple days.




dear terra,


you have a nice rack but that doesn't connotate being a female stalker.


love,

the[Hitman]

[Terra]

Dear Hitman,

Seeing as how this thread concerns pain, I'm sure that hammer embedded up your ass must be uncomfortable. Perhaps if you remove it and just move along, you'll be much happier in the long run. If not, rotating on said hammer just might take your mind off of my posts.

I love you!

Terra

PS Thank you for the naked pictures of you and the sheep. I declare the shocked look on that one sheep is a keeper!

[mubert]

*pst* HITMAN IO THINK SHE LIKES YOU *pst*

[the[Hitman]]

Woohoo!

I always loved the mentally of people who use "things in the ass" as an insult.

Please go back to grade 5 when people thought it was creative.