I'm not sure what to do in this situation.

[The One and Only...]

Remember the girl who flirted with me on the bus? Well... I think the depth of her attraction is deeper than I thought. Whenever I approach her now, she fumbles around a lot and only manages to maintain eye contact for a few seconds. Then, if I was flirting with her, when I walk away I hear a strange longing sigh. Today she even said something along the lines of the most significant (it might have been best) day of her life was the day she met me.

The thing is, I understand what she feels like. I've felt the same way about another girl before. And while I'm attracted to this one, my feeling aren't quite as intense as hers.

So what do you do in that situation? Take advantage of it and see what happens? I'm just afraid that at some point she's going to ask me about my feelings towards her, and I don't want to hurt her by saying that I don't feel quite the same way.

[Esuohlim]

IS SHE FAT LIKE YOU?

[Helm]

RUN HER THROUGH WITH YOUR SHARP RAPIER

ALTERANATIVELY:

RUN HER THROUGH WITH YOUR MASSIVE PENIS

ALETERNATIEVLY:

RAPE HER RAPE SOLVES EVERYTHING

[Perndog]

I say kill yourself. If this is the kind of shit you agonize about, you will not have a fulfilling existence and you may as well just end it now.

[Terra]

Read Zhukov's thread about saying "no" to a girl. I think you can get all your info there.

[DeadKennedys]

RUN HER THROUGH WITH YOUR MASSIVE PENIS


Hey, remember, he said that fat makes your penis smaller, and he knows.

[Anonymous]

I think you should show her this thread so we can her her side of the story first!

[FartinMowler]

Remember the girl who farted with me on the bus? Well... I think the depth of her fart sound is deeper than I thought. Whenever I approach her now, she fumbles around a lot and only manages to maintain eye contact for a few seconds. Then, if I was farting with her, when I walk away I hear a strange longing fart. Today she even said something along the lines of the most significant (it might have been best) day of her life was the day she met me.

The thing is, I understand what she feels like. I've felt the same way about another girl before. And while I'm attracted to this one, my farts aren't quite as intense as hers.

So what do you do in that situation? Take advantage of smelling her farts and see what happens? I'm just afraid that at some point she's going to ask me about my feelings towards her, and I don't want to hurt her by saying that I don't feel quite the same way.

[Terra]

Thank you for that, Sling Blade.

[FartinMowler]

:fart

[The One and Only...]

Hey, remember, he said that fat makes your penis smaller, and he knows.

Only while you're fat. It goes back to its regular size after you lose weight, simply because less fat covers it up.

And the reason I know is because my dick grew when I lost weight.

Zhukov's thread is about saying no to having a relationship with a girl. That's not what I really want to do.

I'm not agonizing, it's just a confusing scenario.

[AChimp]

The longing sigh was really a sigh of relief because you finally left and stopped asking her uncomfortable questions.

[Rongi]

"SO UHHH YOU LIKE HAMBURGERS"

"Could you stop talking to me? You're getting wet crumbs from your mouth all over me"

[HickMan]

lol :(

[The One and Only...]

Somebody just delete this thread. Seriously.

[HickMan]

I hope nobody does. This is the funniest thread I've read in a good long time :lol

[Seven Force]

So anyways this girl walked right by me on the sidewalk and she glanced at me and I think she really likes me so I followed her home and stood outside her door and I didn't do anything I was afraid to knock on it because I didn't know what to say to her and I didn't want to creep her out so I pulled out a cupcake and nibbled on it for a while then I give up and walked home and I posted it on a forum and to this day I still wonder if she thinks about me I wonder if I blew my chance to fuck her.

:lol

But seriously, just try it out. Does it really matter if it doesn't turn serious or you don't like her that much? No. There's more important things to worry about. And there's millions of girls out there for you.

I'd recommend the visually impared.

[Jixby Phillips]

I like this thread its a real up anc comer!

[Zhukov]

"SO UHHH YOU LIKE HAMBURGERS"

"Could you stop talking to me? You're getting wet crumbs from your mouth all over me"

Fucking hilarious :lol

OAO, don't feel discouraged from people taking the piss. I will give you $500 if you post a photo of you touching a girl, any girl. For real.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I think you should start sleeping in her back yard and jacking off in her mailbox.....

[Anonymous]

I'd sticky this thread if i could :<

[Anonymous]

And the reason I know is because my dick grew when I lost weight.

I know this is meant to be just another of OAO's "I'm a goddamn loser" threads, but the fact that he thinks his dick grew because his fat receded enough for him to see it amuses me moreso.

[nothing4buddha]

do you expect to get advice here OAO, honestly... will you ever. no. go kill yourself. and yes, i am pmsing. thank you.

[The One and Only...]

And the reason I know is because my dick grew when I lost weight.

I know this is meant to be just another of OAO's "I'm a goddamn loser" threads, but the fact that he thinks his dick grew because his fat receded enough for him to see it amuses me moreso.

The term "grew" is misleading - obviously my penis didn't actually become larger, it's just that more of it became useable. This is proven fact.

[EisigerBiskuit]

You push the fat down, it aint goin no where

[CaptainBubba]

Actually I sympathize with your plight OAO. See, before I asked my girlfriend to date me I plotted a chart which compared the number of words I spoke to her with the rate at which she became flushed and her heartbeat quickened:

http://img11.paintedover.com/uploads/11/chart.PNG

http://img11.paintedover.com/uploads/11/chartgraph.PNG

As is clearly evidenced, there was simply no attraction there with this girl. Couple my collected data with the fact that when I stared at her for more than a minute without blinking or moving she would begin to nervously avoid eye contact, and I was surely not in good standing with my targeted female.

In a daring, and UNHEARD OF maneuver I was able to uncover the truth by speaking with her. THEN SHE PUT HER TONGUE IN MY MOUTH. THE END.

[Terra]

Aren't you the one that keeps getting her pregnant and subsequently kill the little "fuckers" by making her drink antifreeze?? I'd like to see THAT chart.

[Anonymous]

I'd like to see a chart of the amount of times Terra has something stupid to say to the amount of times she posts. My guess is that it'd resemble the 'extreme training' program on an exercise bike.

[Anonymous]

The term "grew" is misleading - obviously my penis didn't actually become larger, it's just that more of it became useable. This is proven fact.

:lol

A "proven fact"? You mean proven by the fact that you can wrap more of your meaty paw around yourself while thinking about how a girl on the street looked at you, and then quickly looked away?

[pjalne]

If nobody else is going to compliment Bubba on his charts, I am.

[Matt Harty]

lol chojin

[The One and Only...]

I'm sorry, did I not request a deletion of this thread? So far the only helpful response I've gotten is from Bub, and honestly, his approach makes quite a bit of sense.

[the[Hitman]]

:wank

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, did I not request a deletion of this thread? So far the only helpful response I've gotten is from Bub, and honestly, his approach makes quite a bit of sense.
Gosh, I'm sorry! I'll get right on that, boss!

[ziggytrix]

OaO, for a "smart kid" you sure don't learn.

[Esuohlim]

I think my initial question deserved an answer.

[The One and Only...]

IS SHE FAT LIKE YOU?

No. She's actually very athletic.

Now get this thread deleted.

[Anonymous]

On the contrary, this will probably be moved to Thread Backups as part of a growing amount of evidence that you are a big fat loser.

[ziggytrix]

sticky it

[HickMan]

If she's athletic, what would she want with a cocksucker like you? Cocksucker.

[HickMan]

Don't deny it. cocksucker

[Matt Harty]

Remember the girl who flirted with me on the bus? Well... I think the depth of her attraction is deeper than I thought. Whenever I approach her now, she fumbles around a lot and only manages to maintain eye contact for a few seconds. Then, if I was flirting with her, when I walk away I hear a strange longing sigh. Today she even said something along the lines of the most significant (it might have been best) day of her life was the day she met me.

The thing is, I understand what she feels like. I've felt the same way about another girl before. And while I'm attracted to this one, my feeling aren't quite as intense as hers.

So what do you do in that situation? Take advantage of it and see what happens? I'm just afraid that at some point she's going to ask me about my feelings towards her, and I don't want to hurt her by saying that I don't feel quite the same way.

JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT.

SHE'S GOING TO TELL YOU NO.

THEN YOU'RE GOING TO CRY BECAUSE "WAH SHE GAVE ME MIXED SIGNALS.

OH AND BTW STFU

[liquidstatik]

your so mean. :(

[the[Hitman]]

No, he's realistic.

[Emu]

Matt's the debonair hero of the 90's

[Slinky Ferret]

:) Well I'll give you an answer to your questions. I think you can be attracted to different people in many different ways. But the only way of telling if you like this girl as more than a friend or not is to spend time getting to know her. Don't you american's have like some sort of dating system over there when you can date about six people (if you're lucky) at once and "get some" from all of them and it not be considered cheating. After you've picked one who's the best company, or has the most comfy car or whatever, isn't it called "going steady"?

Over here you either put a friend on the friend's pile, the find 'em fuck 'em forget 'em pile, or you have some sort of relationship or fuck buddy friendship.

[Seven Force]

I like his system better.

I can't date six people cause i'm poor. :lol :(

[The One and Only...]

Thank's for reviving this thread. >:

[CaptainBubba]

THANKS FOR BEING A TREMENDOUSLY LAUGHABLE FAGGOT.

[Zhukov]

I am willing to bet that OAO ahs more chances with his imaginary bus lady than sevenincforeus has with any girl. Let alone six.

You are not held back because you are poor, you are held back because you are an unfunny wanker who is probably more ugly than rot.

[MLE]

lol at bubba

[kellychaos]

And the reason I know is because my dick grew when I lost weight.

I know this is meant to be just another of OAO's "I'm a goddamn loser" threads, but the fact that he thinks his dick grew because his fat receded enough for him to see it amuses me moreso.

The term "grew" is misleading - obviously my penis didn't actually become larger, it's just that more of it became useable. This is proven fact.

Your stomach got in the way of your hand?! Boy, you ARE a fat fuck!

[GADZOOKS]

You never do here on those diet commercial "MORE USABLE PENIS"

[executioneer]

they should it would save time for spam emails

[The One and Only...]

:)

Well, after much effort, I've managed to get this girl just about where I want her. She said she want to screw me. I would elaborate further, but it would be needless and only cause people to rant.

[Big McLargehuge]

LOL She's a whore :lol

[HickMan]

RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE

[Command Prompt]

I remember when I used to pick up chicks on the bus. 3 pink pills and one big yellow one later, was it worth it? It sure was :wink

It was always so easy too, cause you could tell them shit like your Ferrari broke down or you're into saving the Environment and crap.

[Anonymous]

:)

Well, after much effort, I've managed to get this girl just about where I want her. She said she want to screw me. I would elaborate further, but it would be needless and only cause people to rant.

Please, PLEASE tell us the rest of the story.

[Terra]

So where are you two going to do it, OAO? Where do two people who ride the bus go to do the nasty?

Please PM with the details. Thnx!

[Anonymous]

I made a One And Only create-a-wrestler today. He strikes fencing poses and bows after submission holds.

[Seven Force]

I am willing to bet that OAO ahs more chances with his imaginary bus lady than sevenincforeus has with any girl. Let alone six.

You are not held back because you are poor, you are held back because you are an unfunny wanker who is probably more ugly than rot.

LMAO :lol :rolleyes

I'm willing to bet on the opposite.

But seriously, the only place to fuck on the bus is right behind the driver's seat, it's his blind spot. Fuck the rest of the passengers, if they didn't want to see fatty sex, they shouldn't ride public transportation. :lol

[CaptainBubba]

:)

Well, after much effort, I've managed to get this girl just about where I want her. She said she want to screw me.

:lol

Oh sweet pedophiliac buddha you are just too god damn adorable to be true. Honestly.

She is now subdued and in the mating position yall. Waiting... waiting for the fat-sheathed love nub of her one and only.:hypno

[The One and Only...]

Look, you're all missing the point, which is that I can get into a relationship with this girl. She's not a trampy girl; granted, she's been pretty aggressive in flirting with me before, but I'm sure that's all it is.

And she doesn't ride my bus anymore. I talk to her in school.

[kellychaos]

Relaxed penis! :lol

[The One and Only...]

Please, PLEASE tell us the rest of the story.

I know you're being sarcastic, but okay.

Basically, I told her that I like her, and she said she has a boyfriend. Well, at this point I got really confused, so I started to confront her more often. I told her that if she wanted me to leave her alone, I would if she would just tell me; likewise, I said if she didn't like me, to just tell me so. She never had a response to either one of those. So eventually I figured out that she was either taking pity on me, was playing hard to get, or felt seriously obligated to her boyfriend.
With that in mind, I managed to communicate that all I was really looking for was some sort of closure, and that I respected the fact that she was seeing someone. The day after that (yesterday), I asked her if she had anything to say; she said no, but eventually she opened up into another conversation and said something about burning me a CD of love songs. Then one of her friends came by, so I kind of stumbled off to class wondering what the hell that meant, but I saw her through the classroom's doorway. She waved, so I waved back. Then she blew me a kiss and it looked like she went off. Another of her friends in the same class as mine then informed me that the girl whom I won't name says Hi, and she wants to fuck me.

I didn't see her today because she wasn't in school. Neither was her main friend, which is someone other than the one who informed me of TGWIWN's desire. Don't know if it has anything to do with me, but I guess I'll find out.

[The One and Only...]

I made a One And Only create-a-wrestler today. He strikes fencing poses and bows after submission holds.

What the hell is create a wrestler?

[kellychaos]

Her boyfriend's gonna kick your fat ass! :lol

[The One and Only...]

I think I implied that I don't actually believe she has a boyfriend...

At least, I hope not anymore. That could cause... problems.

[Big McLargehuge]

If that shit falls through i will 'fence' with you ;(

[FS]

Was the girl that told you this other girl wanted to fuck you trying really, REALLY hard not to laugh?

[The One and Only...]

Was the girl that told you this other girl wanted to fuck you trying really, REALLY hard not to laugh?

No.

[jin]

That sounds entirely plausible- Way To Go O.A.O.! ;D

[Helm]

Well, at this point I got really confused,

:lol

I managed to communicate

:lol

so I kind of stumbled off to class wondering what the hell that meant

:lol

Don't know if it has anything to do with me

:lol

And she doesn't ride my bus anymore.

:tear

[Crying Baby Jesus]

Rape the bitch Rape solves everything!
ArrowX-Keeping the spirit of peeweeherman alive

[Emu]

more like arrow-x: faggot

:served

[Matt Harty]

Please, PLEASE tell us the rest of the story.

I know you're being sarcastic, but okay.

Basically, I told her that I like her, and she said she has a boyfriend. Well, at this point I got really confused, so I started to confront her more often. I told her that if she wanted me to leave her alone, I would if she would just tell me; likewise, I said if she didn't like me, to just tell me so. She never had a response to either one of those. So eventually I figured out that she was either taking pity on me, was playing hard to get, or felt seriously obligated to her boyfriend.
With that in mind, I managed to communicate that all I was really looking for was some sort of closure, and that I respected the fact that she was seeing someone. The day after that (yesterday), I asked her if she had anything to say; she said no, but eventually she opened up into another conversation and said something about burning me a CD of love songs. Then one of her friends came by, so I kind of stumbled off to class wondering what the hell that meant, but I saw her through the classroom's doorway. She waved, so I waved back. Then she blew me a kiss and it looked like she went off. Another of her friends in the same class as mine then informed me that the girl whom I won't name says Hi, and she wants to fuck me.

I didn't see her today because she wasn't in school. Neither was her main friend, which is someone other than the one who informed me of TGWIWN's desire. Don't know if it has anything to do with me, but I guess I'll find out.

Oh my fucking god everyone does that stuff on a regular basis. And when the girl says no you always get the stalkers like you. Since you usually have no social contact whatsoever with females, this seems like some big love issue with you. It's not, shut up, move on before she files a restraining order.

[Terra]

Is there some driving need to quote the whole fucking OAO story here?

:)

[Anonymous]

Please, PLEASE tell us the rest of the story.

I know you're being sarcastic, but okay.

Basically, I told her that I like her, and she said she has a boyfriend. Well, at this point I got really confused, so I started to confront her more often. I told her that if she wanted me to leave her alone, I would if she would just tell me; likewise, I said if she didn't like me, to just tell me so. She never had a response to either one of those. So eventually I figured out that she was either taking pity on me, was playing hard to get, or felt seriously obligated to her boyfriend.
With that in mind, I managed to communicate that all I was really looking for was some sort of closure, and that I respected the fact that she was seeing someone. The day after that (yesterday), I asked her if she had anything to say; she said no, but eventually she opened up into another conversation and said something about burning me a CD of love songs. Then one of her friends came by, so I kind of stumbled off to class wondering what the hell that meant, but I saw her through the classroom's doorway. She waved, so I waved back. Then she blew me a kiss and it looked like she went off. Another of her friends in the same class as mine then informed me that the girl whom I won't name says Hi, and she wants to fuck me.

I didn't see her today because she wasn't in school. Neither was her main friend, which is someone other than the one who informed me of TGWIWN's desire. Don't know if it has anything to do with me, but I guess I'll find out.
Weird!

[adeptninja]

joke: As helm has said " rape her...rape solves everything"

real: they are messing with you...most chicks want to go out on dates and shit not just straight to what we want....they are doing this for kicks and giggles. In short no one will ever love you so "rape or kill yourslef" is my advice to you.

[BlueOatmeal]

I wish someone would use me for kicks and giggles. Then maybe I could see some boobs.

[kellychaos]

I think I implied that I don't actually believe she has a boyfriend...

At least, I hope not anymore. That could cause... problems.

The "boyfriend" defense is probably a safety out in case you're a dork ... which you undoubtedly are ... so there may as well be a real boyfriend ... and erm ... good luck ... whatever. :rolleyes

[Anonymous]

I'm glad adeptninja seperated and labelled the joke from his real answer! It helped me understand his unbelivably complex post that much better.

[kellychaos]

I feel so violated ... by myself. :(

[The One and Only...]

Wow. She actually made a CD. And I'm listening to it right now. And it's rap.

Weird.

She wrote a letter with it. It's got a whole lot of crap on it, a lot of which has been taken from from the songs on the CD. Most of it refers to how badly she wants me. So instead of detailing all of that, I'll just put a track list up. Don't ask me whose songs these are, though.

Rumors
Fantasy
Short Dick Man - (I can only assume that's there to tell me off if I'm small in the crotch?)
One Call Away
Baby It's You
Dirty
Boys
Toxic
In My White Tee
Put It In My Mouth
No Panties
Get Low
Sex
Indian
Just Lose It
I Love You More
Ordinary Day
White Houses

She wants me to download a song called Splash Waterfalls because it explains her feelings for me, so I would appreciate if someone could at least find me the lyrics.

Other than that, more of the same. A little flirting, although she kinda avoided me out of embarrassment for the letter later in the day.

[The One and Only...]

Edit: Indian should be Indian Flute.

[MetalMilitia]

If someone gave me that cd i would tell them to piss off. All the songs suck.
Make her one with a selection of william shatners greatest hits, if that doesnt work i dont know what will.

[The One and Only...]

No one said we have to share muscial tastes. I'm not listening to this thing for my pleasure, I'm listening to it for the message.

[MetalMilitia]

ok lets see...

I heard Rumors that my Fantasy, Short Dick Man is only One Call Away, and Baby It's You. Dirty Boys are Toxic In My White Tee which I Put It In My Mouth while wearing No Panties. I would like to Get Low and have Sex with an Indian flute. Just Lose It, I Love You More than an Ordinary Day In the White House.

She sounds retarded.

[The One and Only...]

You're only looking at the titles.

Although I honestly can't make sense out of In My White Tee.

And I found the lyrics to Splash Waterfalls, so I don't need any help there.

[MetalMilitia]

Lyrics:

Luda
Oh, oh, oh, say it
Girl
Make love to me
Luda
Oh, oh, oh, wut?
Girl
Fuck me
Luda
Oh, oh, oh, say it
Girl
Make love to me
Luda
Oh, oh, oh, wut?
Girl
Fuck me

(HOOK)

Luda
Im bout to throw some game, they both wantin tha same
Cupidz tha one to blame, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Im bout to shed some light, cuz each and every night
You've got to do it right, wut? (Girl) Fuck me
(Repeat)

Luda
They want it nice and slow, kiss them from head to toe
Relax and let it go, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
They want it now and fast, grabbin and smackin ass
You gotta make it lazt, wut? (Girl) Fuck me
Together holdin handz, you out there spendin grandz
And makin family planz, say it (Girl) Make love to me
Don't have to straighten factz, don't want no stringz attached
Juzt scratchez on yo' back, wut? (Girl) Fuck me
Ex'z aint actin right, and you so glad to fight
Dinnerz by candlelight, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
She got a nigga whipped, down to your fingertipz
Tryin that freaky shit, wut? (Girl) Fuck me
Turn on some Baby Face, juzt for your lady'z sake
You call her baby cakez, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Know how to mack a broad, she'z on your sack and ballz
You call her jabber jawz, wut? (Girl) Fuck me

Luda
Im bout to throw some game, they both wantin tha same
Cupidz tha one to blame, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Im bout to shed some light, cuz each and every night
You've got to do it right, wut? (Girl) Fuck me
(Repeat)

Luda
You bout to buy a ring, she needz tha finer thangz
Gucci designer framez, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Purchaze a nazty flick, wrap up and tie her quick
Know how to drive a stick, wut? (Girl) fuck me
You both unite az one, you tha moon and she'z your sun
Your heart'z a beatin drum, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
You better not have came, she wanna feel tha pain
Then hear her scream ya name, wut? (Girl) fuck me
Follow thiz dictionary, you both some vizionariez
And do it missionary, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
I hear him call tha wild, and do it all tha while
Doggy and froggy style, wut? (Girl) fuck me
You in-between tha sheetz, lickin and eatin sweetz
And what u find you keep, say it (Girl) Make love to me
You do it standin up, orgasimz hand 'em up
Y'all juzt don't give a fuck, wut? (Girl) fuck me

Luda
Im bout to throw some game, they both wantin tha same
Cupidz tha one to blame, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Im bout to shed some light, cuz each and every night
You've got to do it right, wut? (Girl) fuck me
(Repeat)

Luda
You wanna tell tha world, cuz she'z your favorite girl
Your diamond and your pearl, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Nobody haz to know, juzt keep it on tha low
And meet 'em right at fo', wut? (Girl) fuck me
Nothin but fightz and fussin, pluz there'z a lot of cussin
Juzt grab a hold of somethin, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Y'all do that bad stuff, she like it rammed up
Ropez and handcuffz, wut? (Girl) fuck me

Luda
Im bout to throw some game, they both wantin tha same
Cupidz tha one to blame, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Im bout to shed some light, cuz each and every night
You've got to do it right, wut? (Girl) fuck me
(Repeat)

LOL this girl has got to be taking the piss.

[sadie]

don't-want-no-short-short-man.

[Helm]

Dunno, she sounds like an expert mocker to me. Maybe you could tell her to start posting on these boards for us?

[Anonymous]

ok lets see...

I heard Rumors that my Fantasy, Short Dick Man is only One Call Away, and Baby It's You. Dirty Boys are Toxic In My White Tee which I Put It In My Mouth while wearing No Panties. I would like to Get Low and have Sex with an Indian flute. Just Lose It, I Love You More than an Ordinary Day In the White House.

She sounds retarded.
That was actually pretty funny :<

[CaptainBubba]

This is actually the meanest thing I have personally heard of a girl doing to someone. Actually its second to this girl I know who gave a guy she hooked up with AIDs, but I digress. This will end hilariously.

[FS]

:lol at MetalMilitia

Most of it refers to how badly she wants me.

OK, this is starting to get sad.

[sadie]

This is actually the meanest thing I have personally heard of a girl doing to someone.
yah. sportin' with the handicapped. :(

[FS]

we should get her to post here.

[Anonymous]

Yes, go tell your girlfriend to come post her comments on your blog at i-mockery.net.

[kellychaos]

Female chubby-chasers are rare. I see this as more of a socio-scientific experiment ... however ... we need a control.

[Matt Harty]

The girl has a nice taste in music, i'll take her off your hands and save you the broken heart OAO.

[Anonymous]

I thought you were already going out with the hottest girl ever!!! :( Matt com on stay tru

[Matt Harty]

Actually I only mentioned one girl, and i'm only dating her.

[Anonymous]

oh ok then put your three incher in anything that moves it's the american way

[Anonymous]

matt can i borrow 5 of your girlfriends

i need extras for a movie

[The One and Only...]

LOL... I'm sure this will end with hilarity, but at this point, I just don't care. As I said, the biggest thing I want is for it to have a resolution.

We only talked a little today. She wanted my S/N on AOL messanger, which I don't have, so I gave her my email. Which, BTW, she apparently isn't allowed to use. Now, there are so many things fucked up with that statement that I can't even begin, but she claims she isn't supposed to use AOL either. Which only raises more conflicts, but meh.

As soon as I feel like this thing is going to go down the shitter, I'm going to try and get the last laugh. If she wants to play retarded head games, well, I have a feeling I have an advantage. And I'm not afraid to fuck people up.

[Anonymous]

All right, OAO! Give her a punch in the eye for me!

[The One and Only...]

Dunno, she sounds like an expert mocker to me. Maybe you could tell her to start posting on these boards for us?

Hell no. With all the BS I have on the boards? The last thing you want to do to a prospective female friend is reveal that your internet title is "Penis Obsession".

[MetalMilitia]

oh dear....... look what you guys have done to OAO.

:lol

[WhiteRat]

One and Only, u bee gettin played sucka. you lose!

[Helm]

Matt listen, is there a chance you could pass along this information to your extra girlfriends, kinda like, a uh, personal dating service, only with more friends! :

Name: Telemachus Efstathiou Stavropoulos Tsagarakis
Nationality: Hairy
Height 1.85 cm give or take a few it's been a while since I took off the high hee.. not funny
Weight 75 kilos. Straight answer. No humour. No Homo.
Penis Length : OAO's teaching me how to stretch so I'll get back to you on that
Penis Girth: when I make the OK sign, about as big as the hole my pointy and thumb make ok?
Special Qualities: Smooth talker. Eats dinner late. Endearing meat cleaver.

so get back on me if any of these extras are interested come on man, pass them around don't be a hogging asshole

[soundtest]

don't be scrooge with the friends either! share the wealth that's what i always say thx matt keep up the rock 'n roll lifestyle we're all envious

[Perndog]

Height 1.85 cm

Are you sure about that one?

And where did the fourth name come from? There are two in your e-mail from: and you listed three when you posted your postal address. Did you marry a guy and take his name or something?

[Big Papa Goat]

YA FAG

[Helm]

Hey, where's the love for the little people y'all and I list my mother's surname when I want to make an impression with four equally long names equally long to my dick, I mean zing come on harty pass a few over ok come on you jerk

[Matt Harty]

don't be scrooge with the friends either! share the wealth that's what i always say thx matt keep up the rock 'n roll lifestyle we're all envious

you guys keep bringing it up not me so dun be jealous :rolleyes

[The One and Only...]

Hey, does anybody here know anything about AIM?

For example, does it have a search feature if you don't know your Buddy's S/N?

I'm thinking about downloading it, as some of my friends have asked me if I have AIM before, and now with this whole girl situation, it would be great to have. Either a) we'll get together faster or b) this whole thing will be made even more hilarious as I will be able to post our conversations on here. In any case, it's bound to make the whole damn experience reach the point that it needs to hit that much faster, so it's a win-win situation.

Also, does it increase the number of pop-ups you'll run into? There's got to be some sort of a catch to using it for free. The other thing is that AOL is notorious for creating their programs so that once it is removed, parts of Windows is taken with it. I'd like to know that isn't the case with AIM.

[Matt Harty]

How about you just ask for her screename?

[The One and Only...]

That's really easy to do when it's the WEEKEND. >:

[The One and Only...]

As an afterthought, I'd kinda like to suprise her, too. Pretend like I'm one of her friends and talk about her actions as if they were a trick, then figure out the truth based on her responses.

The only problem with that is she'd probably figure out it was me, and if I ever did have a chance I would have blown it.

[GADZOOKS]

Casanova!

[AChimp]

:lol @ MetalMilitia

I can't believe I haven't visited this thread in so long. You are being used, OAO. Used like we use you for a punching bag.

[Anonymous]

Aim doesn't give you popups. There are some buddy search features, but they only work for people that have themselves listed.

[theapportioner]

Don't go down the stalker route - I and most other people would be seriously perturbed if some random chick or guy got a hold of my phone number or s/n like that. It's one thing to do that if you're clearly just friends but another thing entirely if you're interested in someone.

But yeah, stop obsessing about it, find some other girls, and put these regrettable events behind you.

[DeadKennedys]

Rape the bitch Rape solves everything!
ArrowX-Keeping the spirit of peeweeherman alive

More like ArrowX- Keeping the spirit of shamelessly imitating Helm alive.

cocksucker

[DeadKennedys]

We only talked a little today. She wanted my S/N on AOL messanger, which I don't have, so I gave her my email. Which, BTW, she apparently isn't allowed to use. Now, there are so many things fucked up with that statement that I can't even begin, but she claims she isn't supposed to use AOL either. Which only raises more conflicts, but meh.

As soon as I feel like this thing is going to go down the shitter, I'm going to try and get the last laugh.

Along with her mysterious obsession with fucking a fat fuck, the signs that you just listed say that it's already going down the shitter.

[Helm]

I seriously did not start the rape the bitch rape solves everything shit.

[The One and Only...]

Along with her mysterious obsession with fucking a fat fuck, the signs that you just listed say that it's already going down the shitter.

How many times do I have to tell you assholes that I'M NOT A FAT PERSON!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!1 1one111oneone1!!!!

[The One and Only...]

Okay, I'm done.

[MetalMilitia]

Along with her mysterious obsession with fucking a fat fuck, the signs that you just listed say that it's already going down the shitter.

How many times do I have to tell you assholes that I'M NOT A FAT PERSON!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!1 1one111oneone1!!!!

Calm down tubby, you might give yourself a heart attack.

[Terra]

Oh no.

OAO is going off the deep end.

[DeadKennedys]

Oh no.

OAO is going off the deep end.

Let's hope he doesn't do a cannonball :lol

WERE GONNA GET SOAKED OMG!!

[MetalMilitia]

Oh no.

OAO is going off the deep end.

Let's hope he doesn't do a cannonball :lol

WERE GONNA GET SOAKED OMG!!

omg :lol :lol :lol

[executioneer]

i was gonna make that joke but i decided it was against my religion

[GADZOOKS]

What are you, catholic?

[glowbelly]

if you post her email address, i'm sure i can find her screen name for you. I'M GOOD LIKE THAT.

if you don't want to post it, pm it to me. i'll keep it from these wackos, promise.

i'm on YOUR side!

[Zhukov]

I'm on you side, too.

I say you just go and ask her straight up if she would like to be wiht you. Make sure her friends are around so you can see the expressions on their faces, in case they laugh or look at each other in a knowing way.

[FS]

you can trust me when I say you should find out her address and then in the middle of the night give her a banjo serenade under her bedroom window. And be sure you have a rose clamped between your teeth. Girls MELT for that shit.

[theapportioner]

OAO you need to get a wingwoman:
http://www.wingwomen.com/

[The One and Only...]

I don't need your help, Glow. I found out her AIM s/n today when I asked her for it.

I actually wasn't going to talk to her today, but she and her friend starting getting loud today, so I knew that was my cue. I just told her that I didn't really know what to say.

And she knows how I feel.

[The One and Only...]

I'm on you side, too.

I say you just go and ask her straight up if she would like to be wiht you. Make sure her friends are around so you can see the expressions on their faces, in case they laugh or look at each other in a knowing way.

Oh yeah, forgot to address that.

Their friends do that all the time, at least whenever I'm around. Especially if I say something complementary to her and/or I make some sort of admission. I generally take it as a good sign, as they don't seem malicious in nature.

[The One and Only...]

And the second "today" in my first post should be "when I passed by and was at the threshold of my classroom."

[CaptainBubba]

Are you retarded?

[The One and Only...]

No, I'm just accustomed to using the edit feature. :(

[executioneer]

What are you, catholic?

i believe god punishes those who are not funny in the afterlife

[kellychaos]

I propose something akin to a witch test. Let's throw OAO into the water. If he floats, as I suspect, then he's fat. If not ... well, then, we're all better off then, aren't we?

[WTF]

OAO, I am on your side too buddy. Let her go. She is OBVIOUSLY busy to play around with you to get a good laugh out of her friends. You can hear them giggeling right across the room if you listen with your bloated ears and not with your heart. No buddy, she is pulling a live I-Mock on you and I personnaly can not allow it that you get hurt. Let her go, buddy, just let it go..... :tear

[Seven Force]

WTF?!

[WTF]

SevenForceIncUSA?!

[Emu]

Faggots?!

[Helm]

Goddamn, someone went through the trouble to set up a character accound for that?

[ArrowX]

thats surreal.

OaO Hit her in the face with a roticcery chicken! :lol

[Emu]

How many times are you going to butcher the English language before you finally die after getting hit with a shovel?

I KNOW ROTISSERIE ISN'T ENGLISH SHUT UP

[kellychaos]

And it's pronounced "ROTISSERIE", not "ROTISSERIE".

[sadie]

your comma and period look so look lost and lonely outside your quotation marks. :(

[liquidstatik]

your comma and period look so look lost and lonely outside your quotation marks. :(
:lol

I don't know how to make a one
:lol

[pjalne]

I think this thread is ripe for backup.

[Anonymous]

Moved 7force and wtf's ALL-TOO-HILARIOUS discussion to an appropriately-named thread in mock wars.

[kellychaos]

To really experience this thread, I had to re-read the whole thing so that I could empathize with OAO and FEEL how pathetic his life really is. It's what makes this whole thread work ... it is nothing without it ... and now he's gone ... you bastards!