Hahaha official Alone in the Dark movie site

[pjalne]

http://www.alone-in-the-dark.com/

Needs more tridpod popups.

[pjalne]

A while ago uweboll posted the following hilarious "open letter" on the site of a film it's currently murdering (http://www.alone-in-the-dark.com/news/news6.htm). Sadly, shortly afterwards, it removed that message from the URL above - but since the world without said "letter" would be a sadder place, here it is in its entirety, reposted and unedited. Yes, unedited - the horrendous syntax, nauseating spelling, handicapped punctuation, etc., have all been preserved, exactly as they appeared in the original. Now, if you're drinking anything, swallow it to avoid spraying the monitor, and "enjoy"...


"A MESSAGE FROM UWE BOLL, DIRECTOR AND PRODUCER OF HOUSE OF THE DEAD

HOUSE Of THE DEAD was in a lot of territories a very big success. In Middle East, Russia, Spain, Thailand and South America was the movie similar to the USA and KANADA two weeks in the TOP TEN and a long time in the Video/DVD-Charts. In a lot of countries the release is coming up in summer. But in the internet are a lot of negative voices talking about the film and I wanna tell all this people that they are right and wrong.

If you think that HOD is *beep* you are right in a way because it is cheesy but you are wrong in a lot of ways. First of all if you really see the move on screen or DVD you will recognize that the CINEMASCOPE look of the movie and the sound are absolutly A LIST and not one percent less quality as RESIDENT EVIL or UNDERWORLD. Second: What is the game HOUSE OF THE DEAD about ? It is a cheesy action shooter. And dont forget I made a movie out of that game. I did not made a ZOMBIE movie alone - I made a game based movie. So the game is an action shooter game where you kill zombies - and if you really compare my movie to movies like RESIDENT EVIL or UNDERWORLD then I dont know what you was waiting for? In HOD we have a lot of GORE and a lot of action. Much more as in Resident Evil. The big battle in front of the house with the MATRIX and TURN TABLE effects, over 100 blood effects and 11000 cuts in 13 minutes will be film history in a few years because in NO OTHER FILM EVER was a similar scene. Also Rodrigez or Tarantino ever made a scene like this escalating action scene in HOD. I really tried to make out of a teenage horror script a special new form of a videogame based movie. I'm not 100% satisfied with the result but it was the maximum what I could do with the budget and script. And what is really pissing me of is that a lot of real horrorfans (especially on Creature Corner, IMDB, Yahoo) are not able to see a difference and judge unfair. Third: also if the story/dialog is cheesy the story has no big logical problems or mistakes.

Can you show me in HOD logical mistakes like in the remake of DAWN OF THE DEAD? How the *beep* in DAWN OF THE DEAD is coming the fat woman and the other people from the inside of the truck in the mall? How they are coming later back in the tunnel from the house of the sniper?

I write this because I read all that *beep* and I give my commentaries also. I startet filming as a boy and I had NO CONNECTIONS in the film industry, no nice uncle or rich parents taking care of me. I worked myself in the film industry, made movies like GERMAN FRIED MOVIE or RUN AMOK with NO MONEY and released the movies on my own, travelled to the theatres, talking to the exhibits and to the audience. That I make movies is not a result of VITAMIN B is is the result of my work and my dicipline and my talent.

Before you all write more *beep* about my movies you should look THE HEART OF AMERICA for example, the movie I did before I made HOUSE OF THE DEAD and you should see ALONE IN THE DARK. After you saw this movies you should have the balls to say "Sorry about my comments!". The weak part of HOD was the story - not the directing. In August ALONE IN THE DARK is finished and this movie is way above movies like UNDERWORLD or RESIDENT EVIL. And for BLOODRAYNE what we do this summer - we have a great script from Guin Turner (she co-wrote AMERICAN PSYCHO) and we will deliver a movie way better as VAN HELSING was (much darker and more brutal).

Uwe Boll"

[Ihach]

the best part is that this movie aspired to be resident evil and underworld.
that part in front of the house, complex or not, was just the most absolutely horrible part of the whole movie. but hey, im sure it'll turn around with alone in the dark

[James]

UWE BOLL IS GREAT DIRECTOR WILL NOT BE DENIED!

Is the trailer on that site the saem one from his website? If so, we're back in LOL CITY, baby.

[pjalne]

I can't watch streaming video at school, so I don't know. I hear the last 45 seconds of the trailer are funny as hell. :(

[James]

It's not the same trailer. :( It's a much shorter version.

Here's the full version: http://www.boll-kg.de/mov/AitD_Promo_4_352x158.mov

This movie is going to be so awful, EVERYONE will watch it.

[James]

I can't watch streaming video at school, so I don't know. I hear the last 45 seconds of the trailer are funny as hell. :(

The best part is the overly long scene of everyone shooting what appears to be guns from GI Joe at a pile of crates while shitty heavy metal plays for some reason.

[pjalne]

What the fuck? I can't even download videos?! What kind of nazi school is this?

[the_dudefather]

the BAD kinf

[the_dudefather]

kind (wish i could edit)

the music during the shooting for no aparant reason scene was a bad sign...

there are already too many 'bad-ass' style movies with 'attitude' (see swat)

[HickMan]

I didn't think swat was so bad >:. The knife scene at the end is the best :o

[Zomboid]

Seriously, who keeps giving the go ahead to direct these movies to people like uwe boll and paul anderson? They've made nothing but shit so they're given movies that COULD be really good adaptions of video games and comics and they just turn em to shit. Makes no sense.

[the_dudefather]

i diddnt say swat was bad, (even tho it wasnt great), but it was the amount of bad-assness forced.

every character had to have some kind of bad-ass attitude to join swat, which got rather tiresome

[sports]

the trailer i saw was alright...here:

http://www.alone-in-the-dark.com

no pop-ups...

[FS]

Seriously, who keeps giving the go ahead to direct these movies to people like uwe boll and paul anderson? They've made nothing but shit so they're given movies that COULD be really good adaptions of video games and comics and they just turn em to shit. Makes no sense.

I'm guessing a guy like Boll may have no talent for moviemaking whatsoever, but knows exactly how to handle studio bosses and producers who think they know exactly how a movie is supposed to be made, and what the public wants.

I like how he knocks one popular movie after another like they challenged him or something. He could be Kevin Smith's evil twin.

[Anonymous]

the trailer i saw was alright...here:

http://www.alone-in-the-dark.com

no pop-ups...
I need another frame so I can put this post on my wall.

[executioneer]

hey sports, reading is fun-damental