Anyone ever hear a girl fart?

[Supercooldude]

I never. I'm convinced they don't do it.

Most of my classes are about 70% guys and 30% girls and I smell fart all the time but now I'm taking a course called "Women and Politics" where there's 100+ girls in the room and only about 10 guys, and I never smell fart in that class.

[nothing4buddha]

i fart all the time :)

[FS]

really? Don't you ever stop, even for a moment?

[nothing4buddha]

occasionally

[FartinMowler]

my mom alway's said that she only farted once every five years :)

[kellychaos]

So did you carry on this same amazing y-chromosome too?

[FartinMowler]

Ya like "Y" is KellyChaos a crappy character :/

[Esuohlim]

Girls don't have Y-Chromosomes, loser.

[sadie]

maybe "she's" got a beard?

[Terra]

girls cunt fart all the time if your standing anywhere near the lake or the ocean you will hardly be able to tell am i right ladies?

[Bass]

Step mom number four would fart all the time... I'm suprised my dad didn't leave her much earlier... no one wants to hear/smell that while they're eating dinner.

[nothing4buddha]

cunt fart?

[DeadKennedys]

Silly, girls don't fart!

[HickMan]

It's called a kweef :rolleyes

[DeadKennedys]

Queef you doofus

[HickMan]

http://img11.paintedover.com/uploads/11/angry2.gif

[DeadKennedys]

YOU WANT A FIGHT YOU GOT ONE :(

[the_dudefather]

girls fart internaly, less awkward but one day their bowels prolapse. they blame that on the dog or witches

[glowbelly]

i fart in front of brian all the time and we laugh like 8 year olds every time it happens.

[LNSICPantitude]

you have 3 possible farting options when you are a chick.

a) you can say you never do it and hope to hell that when you sneeze, laugh or cough in the company of others that some gaseous disaster doesn't occur.

b) you can totally fart whenever and wherever and just blame your foot bumping something, the couch squeaking, etc.

or my personal preference...

c) you can announce it prior to it happening (this works best when you are one on one with someone, not large groups) and say something like "i have to toot"; thus making you, the farter, seem charming and your bodily functions rare and endearing.

[Bass]

A woman's fart, no matter what, is not charming... it doesn't matter if she announces it or not.

[executioneer]

why the crap is this in loveline, anyway :/

[Bass]

Some people may find farts yo be erotic or something...

[ziggytrix]

why the crap is this in loveline, anyway :/

because it is a shining example of how nobody in their right mind should look for advice on relations with the opposite sex on this site.

unless, of course, hilarity ensues, like everytime OaO starts a new stalking thread.

[glowbelly]

daphne farts all the time too!

NO EXCUSES LADIES JUST LET IT LOOSE!

[WhiteRat]

Girls don't fart. Girls also don't "tinkle" or "go poo". When a girl goes into the bathroom, they only go in thier for one of three reasons:

1. To gather thier stuff

2. To tallk with friends.

3. To put on makeup.

Now you know...the rest of the story. Take that Paul Harvey!

[kellychaos]

I meant "X". I'm dislexic ... or something. :/

[nothing4buddha]

:fart

[executioneer]

h8 this thread

[WhiteRat]

A pair of choppers?

[glowbelly]

i just took a big ole poo

[Supercooldude]

I think farts are gross but I still want to hear a girl do it because I never have before. Preferably a pretty one. Anyone have any suggestions on things to do, or locations to hang out at to hear this?

[executioneer]

ask a girl to fart in your mouth

[DeadKennedys]

I think farts are gross but I still want to hear a girl do it because I never have before. Preferably a pretty one. Anyone have any suggestions on things to do, or locations to hang out at to hear this?

You might want to check out one of those new age Fart Parlors.

Or take her to an indian restaurant.

Or quit being such a goddamn pervert >:

[Daphne]

daphne farts all the time too!

NO EXCUSES LADIES JUST LET IT LOOSE!

Hell yeah I do, and I did before I was married and everything!

[glowbelly]

i'll take video of myself farting for $50 and post it here.

but if you want a pretty girl farting, you should probably ask daphne :(

[FS]

This is the most unsexual thread in human history

[Terra]

I think farts are gross but I still want to hear a girl do it because I never have before. Preferably a pretty one. Anyone have any suggestions on things to do, or locations to hang out at to hear this?

Try the student book exchange at any college. This is where you never get the all money back for the $800.00 or so dollars you spent on books. Girls HATE this because they can't get any makeup or go pubbing on the weekend. Plus they are stuck eating nothing but Ramen noodles until the first of the month when they finally get a paycheck. Ramen noodles have a secret ingredient that produces flatulence in females.

This creates more laundry too. You can hear college girls farting all the time in laundromats. Go there.

[Supafly345]

I actually thought girls never used the toilet other than changing their tampons... does this mean that girls know I use the toilet for more than masturbation?

[Crying Baby Jesus]

some disgusting stupid hick let out a big greasy squeaker once in the middle of a final exam in grade 5 it was gross! The teacher make her leave the class because it smelled like she shit herself.

Now shes even stupider. She thought Newfoundland was part of africa, and Vancouver was on Cancouver Island, and thought brian mulrouney was one of the judges of canadian idol >:

[Terra]

Brain Rot.

This is what happens when a female tries to keep her farts in. It's a fact. Then they blame it on the school system but it's all biologic in nature.

[Supercooldude]

Oh wow! Oh wow! I have just discovered the internet's biggest collection of fart-related information. Here you can find such useful information as "How much gas does a normal person pass per day?", "If you were in space without a suit, would a fart have the energy to propel you forward?", and "Why is it that when you scratch your ass through two layers of clothing (your underwear and your jeans) your fingers still stink?"

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

[Terra]

I'm very interested in the "Fartlighter." I think I'll send away for that.

The reading material shows promise too...

[Daphne]

i'll take video of myself farting for $50 and post it here.

but if you want a pretty girl farting, you should probably ask daphne :(

1. you're very pretty you >:

2. no, don't ask me.

[Jeanette X]

I fart a lot. I fart even more when I've got my period. :(

[Burger Lord]

well, from what i understand, girls are infinitely better at holding farts back until they reach a bathroom, almost a 5:1 ratio compared to guys,

[Terra]

We also hold the record for "stealth farting."

[Jixby Phillips]

oh yeah well we guys

[Jixby Phillips]

seriously you are such a shitty human being terra i hate you

[Terra]

Then stop posting to me and move on.

[Jixby Phillips]

stop living b*tch

[Terra]

plz die asshole!

[DeadKennedys]

http://www.nismat.org/ptcor/neck/neck_forw.jpg

http://www.nismat.org/ptcor/neck/neck_back.jpg

Like this

[jarrrrd]

Haha..what kinda fart are we talking poon fart or methane fart...beer fart...dude theres plenty to go around.

[FS]

Ellipses are idiocy's picket fence.

[kellychaos]

Girl farts are soooo much different than boy farts and they're really, really funny. Hahahahahah!! :highfive

[sadie]

Ellipses are idiocy's picket fence.:love

[Mr. Vagiclean]

library is where all the girls fart ;[

[racialslur]

Has Vagiclean ever EVER made a post that made sense?

[Guitar Woman]

My mom farted all the time when I was a kid. It was funny. :(

[Terra]

Did she make those little squeaky farts like the other mommies did? The type that they don't want to let out but they get out anyway and sound like escaping air from a balloon's pinched top?

[ThisIsWitty]

How does a girl make one of these 'cunt farts'?

[HickMan]

Just like how guys make penis farts. Try it.

[dkathrens77]

I've been reading some of the posts and replies for this topic and I've come to the conclusion that most of us here (me excluded) aren't old enough to have the life experiences that would have answered this question definitively.

So, youngsters, let me tell you about one morning when I was lying in bed on my back with my head hanging over the edge. I was watching my first wife getting ready for work and as she walked by I grabbed her ass with both hands and pulled her to me, saying "come over here and let me get a whiff of your lovely pussy" or something like that.

Well, she was a bit shy about such things and started giggling, which only encouraged me to continue. I positioned her sweetness about an inch from my nose and took a big noisy WHIFF.

As luck would have it though, she was giggling so hard that she FARTED in mid-whiff and I sucked a fresh and very acrid FART halfway into my lungs before I could stop! And no, it WASN'T a cunt fart either...

Botton line: Girls DO FART.
Corollary: Everyone's farts smell bad, except your own.


And while we are on the subject, let me tell you about an inspiration of mine:

Imagine, dear readers, that you are at a friend's house for a social function, and you suddenly have "the feeling" that you are about to pass gas.

You start edging slowly & carefully for some unoccupied airspace (so as not to hasten the onset) but the room is crowded; so many folks to smile and say "hello" to, or at the very least "excuse me" (Instead of say, "Clear the deck! I'm going to FART!!!) as you pass.

Suddenly you notice near you what looks like a closet door! You quickly duck in and close it behind you. Looking around, you notice the room is heavily soundproofed, has an industrial grade exhaust system, and a built-in wet vac.

Your heart swells in admiration for your thoughful host, who has provided his/her guests with a FART CLOSET.

"But what's the wet vac for?" you ask? The wet lumpy ones, of course!

[Esuohlim]

THANK YOU FOR CLEARING THIS UP BECAUSE I WAS UNDER THE ACTUAL IMPRESSION THAT GIRLS DON'T FART AND MY WHOLE WORLD JUST TURNED UPSIDE DOWN BECAUSE OF YOUR URGENT POST

[Emu]

DKARTHENS77 ARE YOU IN COLLEGE??

[dkathrens77]

Harumpff!! Let me reciprocate your knee-jerk off-the-cuff attempt at Mockery in my own somewhat more refined way:

While I consider it my duty to shatter people's frames-of-reference (that's one definition of a "joke") ;

I don't understand why you felt the need to SHOUT.

Or why you got the impression my post was in any way urgent.

Is everyone here as rude as you seem to be?
Or are you some sort of volunteer ambasador of rudeness?<grin>

Seriously though, didn't you enjoy my post in any way? I spent hours slaving over a hot keyboard so I could pour my heart out to the members of this forum. And this is the first reply I get?

Take it a little easy on a newbie, OK?

Once we get to know each other better, it'll be gloves off, no more Mr. Nice Guy, unrestrained comments about Yo' Mama, etc.

[dkathrens77]

No, I went to one year of college and decided I was having too much fun. I enrolled in a tech school and learned to do something useful.

[soundtest]

Harumpff!!

Mr. Weatherbee??

[dkathrens77]

I don't know who Mr. Weatherbee is. Surely others have used this interjection? Am I allowed to use it?

I remember when I used to ride my unicycle on public playgrounds, and the young hoodlums playing basketball would ask me

"Are you in the circus?"

To which I'd reply :

"NO--Are you in the NBA?"


Just wanted to say I like your irreverent juxtaposition of animated animal clips.

[soundtest]

http://www.saigan.com/kidscorner/comics/wbee.jpg

This is Mr. Weatherbee and he always says "Harumph!". I just never noticed anybody else ever say it. Sorry!

[Helm]

<grin>
Uh, what?

[Emu]

HE'S GRINNING, DAMNIT>