what to do if you get banned by mradventure

[MrAdventure]

hey folks this is a bit of a surprise i know but with all the trouble brewing up lately i figured everyone needs a place to go and well like they say the only thing worse than bad people is when good folks let bad people do bad things

but as a message board pro that has been there and back i want you guys to look at this list i made of what to do if you get banned just because youre banned doesnt mean you dont have rights so here goes

1 watch a movie about aliens that need to post on a message board so they can fuel their rocket ship to their space home

2 take a bus ride to a message board convention dressed up like your favorite post

3 take a trip and see a college and sign up for a message board class! ( the exclamation mark means this one is my favorite)

4 find a hungry dude and take him to a good lunch at your favorite restaurant and then talk about being banned and hope that agrees with you because you bought him a meal (this is pretty good but i didnt think it deserved an exclamation mark)

5 listen to a racist music your parents dont like with the headphones so they dont find out (this one is a risk you might get caught anyways)

6 start looking for the word ban everywhere say you see a fellow ina turban well you start going "nice tur-ban" and say you see a bandana well you get the idea

7 put a bunch of pennies on the railroad track and hope you find a flat penny!

8 brush your teeth twice a day and try to floss once a day even if you hate it

9 try to gross yourself out with just a mirror and somef ree time

10 get lost in the mall and ask the mall police to help you

okay id say add your own but you know what thats not gonna happen ill just add more when i think about em if you got some to add just send me a pm if you post in here i gotta warn you im pretty tight with some mods

[Command Prompt]

When I need cheering up, I return things to Wal-Mart that I didn't buy there. I always get a kick out of it.

[dieglamourous]

7 put a bunch of pennies on the railroad track and hope you find a flat penny!

If you know what you want, and you're ambitious enough...You'll eventually get it!

[MetalMilitia]

7 put a bunch of pennies on the railroad track and hope you find a flat penny!

I did that once and the cops showed up and i nearly got arrested for 'attempting to re-rail a train'. I even got a ride home in a police car.

[FS]

I did that once and the cops showed up and i nearly got arrested for 'attempting to re-rail a train'. I even got a ride home in a police car.

I'd think you'd get a medal for re-railing a train.

[Terra]

You are a bad boy! :)

[MetalMilitia]

Dunno why they bothered to drive me home, i can see the place from where i am sitting now.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v37/176659.9/P1010008.jpg

[Terra]

Maybe they wanted to have "the talk" with you? I hope they didn't use brass knuckles like in all the B movies. :chatter

[Jixby Phillips]

i hope you both get eatten by monsters

[Terra]

I think Jix woke up this morning with a raging woody that even he couldn't beat down.

Go to the bathroom and try again, baby. Maybe with the blood rushing to your brain from posting, the swelling will go down and you can get a good firm grip this time.

[Jixby Phillips]

can you make one fucking post thats not about genitals in some way

[Terra]

I make a LOT of posts WITHOUT those references. Why do you only point out those? Probably you should stop looking for them and seek your thrills someplace else.

:lol

Oh. And I hate you too. I think that will make you feel better in the long run. :)

[Jixby Phillips]

:lol indeed!

i bet you dream about dicks jumping over fences

[huond]

ANYWAYS!!!!


GREAT THREAD MR ADVENTURE! Im banned at a few myself maybe ill use some of these!

[sadie]

whew! i was worried i was gonna get banned by mradventure.

[Carnivore]

Anybody who gets banned from a message board must be mildly retarded, especially this board. The rules aren't that difficult to follow.

Mr. Adventure is an exception. He was wrongfully convicted.

[Command Prompt]

For me, MrAdventure is right up there with Jackson, Hunter S Thompson and The Juice.

[FartinMowler]

I thought I was banned a few times, but I was just me fucking up my password, so I would PM Mr. Mockery and acuse the him in a delusional paranoid kind of way... of banning me and then he would put fake names liek *Molwerfartin* and I would PM him that someone is posting fake names :/ but I knew it was him :) I think >:

[MrAdventure]

alright dudes i know its real excitin that im here and all but we got a list to get to lets get crackin we havent got all day haha

some of these were submitted by my bud jixby phillips a real pal's pal if you understand and well, im sure glad hes around!

anyway heres another top ten countdown things you can do if you get banned!

1 how about wash your car!!!!! (submitted by jixby phillips thanks jixby)

2 or wash all the cars in the neighborhood and watch from inside at the smiling faces that come out!!! (submitted by jixby phillips thanks jixby)

3 clean up the house so you dont feel bad when people come over to visit

4 call your mom and dad and tell them you think they did a good job being a mom and dad (if you cant get ahold of them tell the first mom and dad you see)

5 take a nap with a pillow fresh out of the laundry dryer! (this is great i could do this even if i wasnt banned!)

6 steal some kids candy and give it back with twice as much as he originally had

7 pop a blister (dont forget to wash your hands first!)

8 make extra sure that if you got a pal that you keep a list so you know whose turn it is to be the first player ina video game

9 do your chores before your parents ask!

10 get pretend stuck in traffic and speed off when a guy knocks on your window to see what's up!

haha these are pretty good as i said yall im makin more of these so stay *tuned*

[MrAdventure]

heres a bonus one from the guy you all know as liquidstatik a real hip dude!

YOU COULD READ A BOOK ABOUT THE HISTORY OF MESSAGEBOARD BANNING, WITH INCLUDED STORIES AND FAN-FICTION! (thanks liquidstatik!)

hers another one from jixby phillips haha a real card's card if you know what i mean thanks jixby!

how about get a brain tumor or is that too topical lol (thanks jixby!)

[Ninjavenom]

Don't forget that you can study!

[MrAdventure]

im in the middle of writin a collerge paper and i wanna die but ehres some more things you can do if you get banned!

todays top ten (theyre all pretty good so expect a lot of enthusiasm folks!)

1 try a new sport out you never know what youre good at until you try!

2 wear someone elses glasses but only for a few seconds so you dont hurt your eyes!

3 try a new food from a different country!

4 set up shop as a palm reader and tell everyone theyve got nice palms!

5 wahsh behind your ears for once in your dang life

6 buy a toy and give it to the first kid that looks sad and dont get mad if they dont like it

7 run away to the mountains and build a log cabin like jeremiah johnson (you can marry an indian if you want to but you dont have to cause she might die)

8 visit an old folks home and sit still and let the old ladies put make up on you and let the old dudes laugh it up!

9 clean up your toenails so they dont smell gross

10 pretend youre a tour guide at a famous spot and just make it up as you go along!

okay folks ill probably have more maybe even later tonight if im not dead haha (dont worry im gonna be fine)

[whoreable]

when i get banned im gonna have a great time

[Helm]

Get a cat! Preferably looking something like this:

http://www.sylpher.com/helm/kitty.gif

[Rongi]

awwwwww

[MrAdventure]

oh man thats a pretty cute kitten haha but as much as i think cats deserve a million bucks we got another list to get to!

another top ten things to do if you get banned

10 have a garage sale with stuff fresh from the store

9 make a poster for a the worlds best joke party and the joke is that theres not really a party!

8 find a loser on drugs and tell him he needs to clean up his act!

7 buildf a raft and go on a river adventure! (you can even take a pal!)

6 pretend you got a real bad cold so you can stay home all day (you might get in trouble idk!)

5 make a newspaper and make some outrageous headlines that are too good to be true!

4 send all your family a get well soon card just in case!

3 get all strikes at a bowlin alley on accident!

2 draw a cartoon with america bein a bully!

1 get a camcorder and tape yourself sayin i love you and buy the latest hot movie and switch labels and when the person you love puts the good movie in theyll find an even *better* movie than what they thought they were gonna watch!!! (sorry this one is so long but its really good!)

[Pub Lover]

Anybody who gets banned from a message board must be mildly retarded, especially this board.
I wouldn't say I was mildly retarded. :/

& I've only been banned twice (not counting characters). :)

[Pub Lover]

Accursed Edit Button! >:


Great thread, MrA. :domo

& I'll likely get to do all the lists next time I'm banned, as you only get three chances if Esuohlim (The Webmaster) really likes you. :eek

[MrAdventure]

i dont wanna be a snob but im held to such high standards that if i screw up *one more time* im done bein a top dog at imockery

haha but enough about that its time for another top ten things you might wanna do if you get banned!

1 turn 21 and drink a *water* to celebrate!

2 pretend a department store is a house and start yellin at folks that you gotta get up early tomorrow!

3 get arrested on charges of bein too darn cute!

4 shake hands with an old man!

5 forget to vote and make everyone mad at you!

6 give someone a pat on the back!

7 pretend youre hitchhikin and when they ask where youre goin say thumbsville!

8 cook a turkey and put a family photo inside it so when everyones done eatin they have a big ol hug

9 listen to a cool sherlock holmes story on the radio and find your own crimes tos olve

10 go swimmin with a buddy and have a fight and pretend to drown tos ee if he still cares ;_; (this is for the mean folks out there)

thats all for tonight everyone lets have a good night

[MrAdventure]

oh man you know its gonna be a good night because its time for another top ten things you can do if you get banned

todays number one comes from jixby phillips a real happenin dude who knows what a good time is and how to have it!

todays theme is rude dudes gotta have fun too, so im warnin you guys ahead of time, scroll down for the list!




1 lose a tooth! (sent into us from jixby phillips, thanks jixby!)

2 spend a paycheck trying every kind of ice ceram ever made

3 hold a f*rt for a mile

4 wear a football helmet and stand by a horse's b*tt

5 save a ladies baby from a disaster and get her arrested for bein a careless mom

6 put on a pretend stuffed animal circus with a pretend decline in attendance and have a pretend end of an era

7 put a strobe light on top of your car and take the party w/ you

8 stuff your shirt so you look fat

9 throw a quarter in a wishing fuontain and wish that you didnt throw your phone call quarter away

10 make an outrageous face when people tell you the price of something and start blaming inflation for ruinin your day!

haha okay folks thats all for now!

[Esuohlim]

How about getting into a game of Sorry with a buddy or two? Or three if you don't want to leave anyone out???

[ziggytrix]

I've never played a game of Sorry where anyone was actually sorry.

[MrAdventure]

its time for the top ten halloween things for banned dudes!

10 wear a whole bunch of masks and go as the guy the scooby doo gang unmasks!

9 spend funny money at the store and say its real money in a really good costume!

8 find a kid dressed like a hobo and let him sleep in your guest room!

7 find a kid wearnig a mask of a president and be his secret service for the day!

6 ask if you can borrow a kids toilet paper because you gotta take a d*mp

5 go on a diet and hide a ghost in the kitchen and youll be too scared to eat!

4 go to a cemetary and clean it up!

3 put a *real* spider on a string and watch the screams roll in!

2 change your regular door bell for a spooky door bell!

1 trick or treat at mcdonalds on the dollar menu!

have a safe but scary halloween from me to you

[pjalne]

Thank you, Mister Adventure, have a great Halloween yourself!

[MrAdventure]

hey thanks pjalne youre a rockin dude!

okay folks you know what time it is what time is it time for another totally rockin rad top ten things you can do if you get banned!

today we got a lot from some guests who know a lot about bein banned so pay extra attention!

10 carry around a clipboard so you look important!

9 (this one is from our bud huond!) go on your honeymoon early and then when you get married years later tell your spouse how much fun it was and that you wish they couldve been there (thanks huond!)

8 (heres another frmo hyuond!) get a job and help the customers out so you dont get fired (like you got banned) (thanks huond!)

7 (heres another from huond from his pal tomacco junkie!) go door to door selling vaccum cleaners but dont have a vaccum cleaner with you (i stole that oen from my friend tomacco junkie) (thanks tomacco junkie and huond!)

6 make a fire escape plan thats a picture of sad people crying because they lost a loved one in their housefire because they had a bad fire escape plan ;-;

5 listen to a cd in your car thats just noises cars make!

4 play hopscotch by hoppin over a scottish dude passed out because hes durunk

3 get in a arm cutting contest with someone you hate and fake all yoru cuts (have a phone nearby to tell everyone about it!)

2 vote for the president with the happiest family!

1 buy a dog and give it food and water every day!

[tomacco-junkie]

I just want to say that this is a fantastic thread and I'll never forget it!!!

[MrAdventure]

hey thanks a cool million tomacco junkie!

sorry about the delay folks its tough bein an adult (i dont expect you guys to understand!)

anyway heres another top ten things you can do if you get banned

1 swear on a bus and watch the fur fly (i dont recommend this one but i gotta keep the rude dudes in mind)

2 get good at drawing mustaches so you can show what missing kids look like today!

3 live out today like its a eral life! ( i mean you wake up and youre a baby and you go to bed and its your funeral and everyone comes haha hoepfully)

4 be so helpful that people get mad!

5 hand out photos instead of giving handshakes!

6 hold up a sign tellin folks to honk if they love honkin!

7 pretend youre a volcano and make a real mess with yoru favorite soda

8 get your truck stolen and ask a stranger to keep an eye out for it!

9 make a list of the body parts you like the best!

10 make a list of the body parts you like the *least!*

okay folks haha good to be here, have a real rockin day i gotta go get ready to pass some college classes tomorrow wish me luck!

[whoreable]

keep up the good work!

[MrAdventure]

heres a top ten things i should do before making a top ten and thats check my mail!

i got a whole bunch (a whole top ten!) thanks to some real generous dudes, here goes! thanks for fillin in for me haha i better watch out i gotta keep this job!

these whole bunch of good ideas are from tomacco junkie everyone give a hand to tomacco junkie!

10 (sent to us by tomacco junkie)play music to your loved ones while wearing an enticing hat!
(thanks tomacco junkie!)

9 (sent to us by tomacco junkie) send a postcard with a fat lady in a bikini to ur best friend! (thanks tomacco junkie!)

8(sent to us by tomacco junkie) try peeing with both your hands (if ur a boy!!!!)!!! (thanks tomacco junkie!)

7(sent to us by tomacco junkie) draw ghosts on your bathroom mirror and then shave really good!!
(thanks tomacco junkie!)

6(sent to us by tomacco junkie) throw marbles down a slide at a playground (this one's really fun)!!!
(thanks tomacco junkie!)

5(sent to us by tomacco junkie) wear a scarf when its cold out!! (thanks tomacco junkie!)

4(sent to us by tomacco junkie) dig in your neighbor's yard for dead chinese ppl !!
(thanks tomacco junkie!)

3(sent to us by tomacco junkie)grow hair on youur mouth and then kiss a girl !!
(thanks tomacco junkie!)

2(sent to us by tomacco junkie)buy candy and share it with an elephant! (thanks tomacco junkie!)

todays last but not least by a long shot is pjalne thanks for your help!

1 (setnt o us by pjalne) You can make one of those cartoons where you flip pages really fast in a book and make it about you giving your mother a mother's day gift (this works best on mother's day) and show it to your mother. But make sure to use a sketch pad and not the Bible or Moby Dick or something! (thanks pjalne!!)

okay dudes if you got any more you know where to send em hahaha

[MrAdventure]

hey thanks whoreable you slipped in there dude!

but folks i appreciate the appreciation but what really gets me movin is when you submit your own things to do if you get banned and *some* of you might be all "uhhh i dont think i can do it!" but you cant think like that what if thomas jefferson felt that way wed all be livin in rocks and not washing our hair regularly yuck!

[MrAdventure]

boy do i ever feel like a dope! its election time its time for the election days top ten things you can do if you get banned!

to start things off right heres a joke!

whats the oval offices favorite drink!

hahah yoohoo

heres one from a guy we all dig its jixby phillips

1 (sent to us from jixby phillips)how about *DONT* get assassinated but thats OBVIOUS (thanks jixby!)

2 eat a presidentail gumball from the presidents gumball machine!

3 guest star on saturday night live saturday night!

4 have a picnic on the american flag!

5 ask a liberal to the prom if youre a repupblican

6 get a presidential pet and make it president for a day!

7 run for president in the middle of the actual presidents term so he never gest a break and shrugs and leaves it up to you!

8 tackle the issues head on by reading sports illustrated!

9 run a *presidential* mile and dont stop for pictures!

10 hide under the oval office desk and wait until the presidential pet finds you before you start the day!

finally in celebration of november bein the eleventh month heres jixby with an eleventh item to the list!

11 (from jixby phillips) show up to the whitehouse while the addams family theme is on haha or is that too obscure ;-) (thanks jixby!)

[MrAdventure]

sorry im such a lazy bug folks haha i gotta say if i could live on top ten lists id do it but they just dont rake in the cash like they used to haha

okay folks heres another great top ten things you can do if you get banned!

10 wake up extra early so you get good grades!

9 go grocery shoppin and take all the samples!

8 make best friends with a cartoon dragon!

7 if youre mad at a teacher put a swear in her last name!

6 find a desk and cross out all the marijuana leaves made on it by the bad kids and get in trouble even though youre doing the right thing ;_;

5 go to the car store and drive away with a bargain!

4 have a pretend heart attack and act confused when people arent happy that you didnt have a real heart attack!

3 learn karate the hard way haha go start a fight with a chinese!

2 drink something good and make a face so people think its medicine and dont ask for any!

1 kick a soccer ball for a million bucks and miss and say its okay it was just cool enough to kick a soccer ball on tv!

[MrAdventure]

hey dudes whats wrong dont tell me you dont have a clue for a top ten things to do if you get banned!!!

dont worry i know its my job anyway

heres the latest top ten things you can do if you get banned!

10 visit ray charles grave and pretend its richard pryors!

9 try to get a moon burn instead of a sun burn!

8 make a birth certificate sayin you were born in babysville!

7 (this one is from our bud executioneer!) spin around until you get dizzy and fall down! (thanks executioneer!)

6 (this one is from our bud executioneer!) punch a dog in the face (thanks executioneer!)

5 slurp your soup so loud you get shot by an annoyed mom!

4 (heres another from our bud executioneer!) go burn the garbage >:O (thanks executioneer!)

3 (heres another from executioneer whata pal!) have some strawberry lemonade at red robin! (thanks executioneer!)

2 (what a pal heres executioneer again!) have some strawberry lemonade at red robin only cheat and make it at home in the blender instead :-[ (thanks a billuion executioneer!)

1 (todays number one is from executioneer!) dont get out of bed ALL DAY because your so sad! (thanks a ton executioneer!)

[huond]

whatta we do if we dont have a red robin!!! ive never even *seen* one before!

[executioneer]

thats where number 2 comes in :x just put like 4 or 5 strawberries in a blender w/ a batch of lemonade and viola

[Jixby Phillips]

I barely get to go to red robin because I dont have a car and I dont like the idea of paying 5 dollars to get to and from it :(

SF SUX

[MrAdventure]

hey dudes dont look so blue, we got a new top ten things late late late late show haha

top things you can do if you get banned ready set go!

today we got a cool dude pjalne givin me a hand lets give *him* a hand!

10 (sent in from pjalne) Walk into a McDonalds and try to order a Whopper and videotape the faces on the people behind the counter (thanks a bundle pjalne!)

9 tie your shoeslaces together and forget and yuck it up!!

8 help a foreign kid with english!

7(sent in from pjalne)Get one of those pajamas that have a hatch around the *ss (like the ones Supergoof wears) and walk into the kitchen to drink some juice in the middle of the night without buttoning it up! (thanks a bundle pjalne!)

6 juggle some food like a pizza chef!

5 make a paper airplane with a paper full of jokes so whoever finds it smiles!

4 (sent in from pjalne) Find a loose thread somewhere on your clothing so you can get that piece of corn out of your teeth. (thanks a bundle pjalne!)

3 find somethin really lightweight and pretend it weighs a billion tons!

2 (sent in from pjalne) Draw devil horns and a moustache on someone who is asleep, and when they wake up you say "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were a picture in a newspaper! Let me get some soap for you." (If you want to be extra naughty, you can give them a nice smooth rock instead and pretend it's soap!) (thanks a bundle pjalne!)

1 go to the grocery store and get a good deal on frozen pizzas!

thanks folks sorry this is so late but im a college dude with a college atttiude

[MrAdventure]

sorry for the delay im not runnin out of ideas promise!!!

heres another top ten thigns you can do if you get banned

specialt hanks to jixby for contributing some killer ideas!

10 dress up like a stop sign and cause some trouble on the street!

9 go into a bible bar and freak out because its actually a *biker* bar!

8 (from jixby phillips!!) heres one number 8 bump the thread (or ask somebody to bump it for you since your banned) (thanks jixby!)

7 tell a trash can to clean up its act!

6 go to the doctor with a case of the frowns

5 grow a garden so you dont have to buy vegetables at the store!

4 (from jixby phillips!) number 4 post on *another* message board! (thanks jixby!)

3 talk like a baby to a cute puppy!

2 talk like a baby to a cute kitten!

1 adopt the ugly dog and cat nobody will ever adopt ;_;

[MrAdventure]

gulp uh sorry folks i got *another* list to make its my way of saying sorry for not making any lists for a few days!

sorry!

todays top ten has help from a rockin dude called pjalne lets give him a hand!

10 get in an elevator and tell everyone to hold on tight!

9 get a custom drivers license plate to honor our fallen war heroes

8 (heres one from pjalne!) Order five pizzas to your own house and then say "Hey, I didn't order any pizzas, you must have been prank called," when the pizzy guy comes around. But then you make his day by saying "But oh boy do I ever like pizzas, let me buy these off you anyway my good man!" (I'm sorry this one was a bit long) (thanks pjalne!)

7 cure the hiccups by getting a case of the burps!

6 (heres another from pjalne!) Walk up to someone who looks unhappy on the street and say "I like your style!" (thanks pjalne!)

5 get a billion dollars and ask all your internet pals to live it up at your place forever

4 (heres another from pjalne!) Win a dance competition to raise money for the orphanage! (I'm sorry if this one has been done before.) (thanks pjalne!)

3 dress up like a grandma and give out free hugs

2 (this one is from pjalne!) Be a crossing guard for a family of ducks! (thanks pjalne!)

1 get a gold medal in the backyard olympics!

[MrAdventure]

can i have your attention please its time for another top ten thigns you can do if you get banned by mradventure

today we have help from two hard workers king hadas and big mclargehuge lets give em a bigmclargehuge hand haha just kiddin dude

10 buy a bunch of party supplies and invite everyone at the store!

9 (sent to us from king hadas!) Send an E-mail to yourself saying your an okay guy (thanks king hadas!)

8 blow on a million dandelions at the same time

7 (sent to use from big mclargehuge!) ask someone a math question and make them feel better by lying and saying they got it right (thanks big mclargehuge!)

6 (sent to us from king hadas!)Make pals with other banned mebers and call yourselfs the ban-dits (thanks king hadas!)

5 (sent to us from big mclargehuge!) teach your grandma about moderation (thanks big mclargehuge!)

4 (sent to us from big mclargehuge!) admit you have a problem! (thanks big mclargehuge!)

3 (sent to us from big mclargehuge!) have an intervention for your neighbors who like yelling at night! (thanks big mclargehuge!)

2 hog a whole table at a restaurant to yourself and order a bunch of food and hope that folks sit with you

1 have a funeral for a lucky rabbits foot ;_;

thanks to all you hard workin dudes keep sending your stuff in im mradventure and thanks to everyone who helps out!

[MrAdventure]

okay dudes now you know me we got big shots from around the globe
but todays top ten things comes with a real special guest
thats right everyones favorite a+ mom glowbelly


10 (sent to us from glowbelly!) i think it's fun to make a list of all your friends and make sure you have their addresses correct in case you want to send them invitations to a party ;-) (thanks glowbelly!)

9 pack a delicious snack in case you gotta be a mom on the run!

8 (sent to us from glowbelly!)keep your boyfriend around at all times in case you need to change your socks!! (thanks glowbelly!)

7 (sent to us from glowbelly!)learn to make up nice swears so as not to upset the children =-O (thanks glowbelly!)

6 make sure the baby knows 911 in case of the worst ;_;

5 put your baby in a baby contest and win the grand prize : bein around lots of babies!

4 play april fools on a baby by telling him to get ready for work!

3 (sent to us from glowbelly!)brush up on your spelling skills so you can talk about christmas presents without spoiling the surprise! (thanks glowbelly!)

2 teach your baby to stop baby bullies w/o violence!

1(sent to us from glowbelly!)practice giving baths to kitties so you are sure you won't drown the baby in the sink(thanks glowbelly!)

[MrAdventure]

hey duds haha i mean dudes and dudettes its time for another top ten things you can do if you get banned

today we got a lot of help from two cool dudes who know how to make a top ten list happen!

10 comb your hair so much you go bald!

9 try and invent dognip for dogs so they feel like puppies!

8 (sent to us from pjalne!) Buy (or make!) & wrap Christmas presents really early this year so you can sit back and enjoy the last few days before Christmas. (thanks pjalne!)

7 put all your valuable stuff and even favorite food in a safe and forget the combination in case of robbers!

6 open the safe in a million years and laugh at how goofy everything was a million years ago!

5 (sent to us from pjalne!) Make a photoshop that makes it look like a duck is braking for a family of humans crossing the street! (thanks pjalne!)

4 (sent to us from pjalne!) Get your friends hooked on Firefly the series so the movie will make money when it comes out. (thanks pjalne!)

3 (sent to us from jixby phillips!) play a song and only sing the lines you know! (thanks jixby!)

2 (sent to us from pjalne!) Try to eat something you thought was disgusting when you were a kid to see if you maybe like it now that you're older! (Like olives or mustard) (thanks pjalne!)

1 retire the top ten things to do if you get banned list!

haha yeah folks sorry you heard number 1 right

but dont get me wrong im not out of ideas and its still loads of fun

thats why coming soon (keep your eyes peeled!) is the top ten jokes from funny folks! thats right ill print the jokes *you* send in (as long as theyre not too rude!) and youll get thanked by me, mradventure, so what are you waitin for!

ps dont feel bummed out dudes and dudettes the top ten things youc an do if you get banned list is retired so who knows it might make a guest appearance!!!

[Anonymous]

you are the wind beneath my wings

[MrAdventure]

okay folks its the newest top ten on the block haha hes just a little kid but hes gonna be a star watch out

thats right

TOP TEN JOKES FRMO FUNNY FOLKS

todays top ten jokes has a few real side splitters so get ready to go to the hospital haha

10 (sent to us from huond) what did the indian say to his tribe buds after he stepped in the quicksand?

wheres everyone going!!(thanks huond!)

9 (sent to us from huond) what did the pro-basketball player say to the midget?

hey its always great to meet a fan!(thanks huond!)

8 (sent to us from huond) Why did the bald guy where a hat?

it was cold out and he doesnt have hair to keep him warm! (thanks huond!)

7 (sent to us from huond)"why did the bald guy REALLY wear a hat?"

because he was self-conscious about being bald!(thanks huond!)

6 whered the cocker spaniel go to get his drivers license!

the DDMV thats the dogs department of motor vehicles vroom woof haha!

5 why did the fingernail clippers puke!

youd puke too if you cut fingernails all day!

4 why did the lawyer lose the case!

because he forgot to lie haha!

3 why did the french guy wear deodorant

because he stunk!

2 why did the mom clip a coupon!

because dad lost his job ;_;

1 why did the kid lie about having a girlfriend!

because nobody likes him ;_;

[Anonymous]

THIS'LL COME IN HANDY FUCKTARD! :lol

[MrAdventure]

okay folks i know we're all a little shaken from what happened lately haha not mad max i mean the top ten things to do if you get banned retiring! but dont worry folks we're all gonna get through it together and that means i need top jokes from funny folks like you

10 what did the comb say to the head!

im gonna throw up!

9 why did the little kid get good grades!

because he wanted to make his mom and dad smile!

8 whats the best time to eat dinner!

six o clock probably!

7 why did the aliens leave earth!

because their space mom called!

6 why did the kid go to the funeral!

because it had free ice cream!

5 whats a cats favorite movie to see with a dog!

milo and otis opf course!

4 why did the math problem need a calculator!

because it was dang hard thats why!

3 why did the mashed potatoes say yum!

youd say yum too if you had gravy on your face!

2 what do you call a carrot when it gets a divorce!

a broken-hearted carrot ;_;

1 why did the pilgrim look like a goof

because he forgot to comb his hair!

thank you folks have a great thanksgiving from me to you

[MrAdventure]

haha guess what folks you didnt think that was it for tonight we gotta celebrate haha better unbuckle your ribs because youre gonna be stuffed with good laughs!

10 whats the difference between thanksgiving and the day before thanksgiving!

a whole lot of food thats what!

9 why did the grandpa eat all the jello!

because he ran out of teeth ;_;

8 why did the football run away from home

because it was being abused ;_;

7 why did the bus driver smile!

because he got told to have a good day!

6 why did the computer look at pornography

because its a sicko :x :x :x

5 who does a boy scout like to try and kiss!

a girl scout!

4 why did the christmas present act like a grump

because it couldnt wait for christmas!

3 why did the mom put on an apron

so she wouldnt get food on her dress!

2 when do you know its time to eat!

when all the fat people show up haha

1 (sent to us frmo huond) what did the turkey say on thanksgiving?

"gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins you JERKS!" (thanks huond!)

oh man haha i hope those were as much fun to laugh it up to as they were to write! thank you folks drive safe

[Stabby]

this thanksgiving im thankful for you, mister adventure :)

[MrAdventure]

hey thanks dude but you know the real way to show your appreciation is to send in those jokes! haha folks thats right im back for another edition of the top ten jokes from funny folks

10 why did the mexican come to the united states

because he was running away from home ;_;

9 why did the cat laugh when he was pet

because he was ticklish!

8 why did the cactus lawyer get fired

have you ever shook hands with a cactus owtch!!

7 (sent to us from jixby phillips) i dont remember maybe i tol you it already but its what do you say to two cars kissing in public !

A: GET A VROOM YOU TWO! (thanks jixby phillips!)

6 how long does it take to make a baby laugh

long enough to make a goofy face!

5 why was the dinosaur late for work

because he forgot to set his dino alarm!

4 why did the nerd stay home from school!

because he stayed up too late watching star trek!

3 WARNING THIS JOKE IS A LITTLE RUDE RATED R
(sent to us from jixby phillips) why did the butt catch a cold!

because he drank from his sick friends glass
! (thanks jixby phillips!)

2 why did the terrorist hate terror camp

because he missed his mom and dad and his dog ;-;

1 whats a cell phones favorite food!

minutes!

haha thanks a bunch folks catch you in a little while for our next time (ps keep an eye open for the top ten things you can do if you get banned ; ) )

[MrAdventure]

whew sorry about takin such a long time folks and i only got a half hour so today is allllll submissions haha thats right folks your jokes are what makes the difference so lets get to it!

1 (sent to us from stabby!)1. What did the smoker say to the mayor?

I have cancer! (thanks stabby!)

2 (sent to us from stabby!) 2. Why was the doctor sad?

Becasue he had to go to a funeral! (thanks stabby!)

3 (sent to us from stabby!) 3. Why was the baby blue for Christmas?

because he was choking! (thanks stabby!)

4 (sent to us from stabby!) 4. What did the ice cream truck say to the fire hydrant?

nothing. ice cream trucks can't talk! (thanks stabby!)

5 (sent to us from stabby!) 5.What's the best way to your mommy's heart?

Doing the laundry! (thanks stabby!)

6 (sent to us from pjalne!) Why did the one chair beat the other chair in the furniture olympics?

Because one of the chairs had wheels! (the one that won the olympics) (thanks pjalne!)

7 (sent to us from pjalne!) What did the vampire say to the dentist?

Thanks for fixing my teeth, I really need them you know! (thanks pjalne!)

8 (sent to us from big mclargehuge!) what do you get when you get a brain tumor?

thosands of dollars in debt (thanks big mclargehuge!)

9 (sent to us from big mclargehuge!) how can you solve your debt problems?

cut yourself!! (thanks big mclargehuge!)

10 (sent to us from big mclargehuge!) why don't mom and dad love us?

cause we are ugly :( (thanks big mclargehuge!)

haha wow okay folks talk about a bunch of up and cominc comedy pros! im really excited at all this new talent whew! i got so much talent here today that you guessed it!

[MrAdventure]

thyat i gotta post *another* top ten jokes from funny folks!!!

haha thats right today is double the laughs so dont be surprised if youre sore tomorrow!

10 (sent to us from big mclargehuge!) what is the best thing about turkey sandwiches?

TURKEY!! (thanks bigmclargehuge!)

9 (sent to us from big mclargehuge!) What are we going to do for christmas?

Try not to cry! (thanks big mclargehuge!)

8 (sent to us from jixby phillips!) q: why did the dude laugh at a parody of citizen kane

a: because he went to film school! (thanks jixby phillips!)

7 (sent to us from jixby phillips!) q. why did the bully get punched in the face

a. because he had it comin! (thanks jixby phillips!)

6 why did the wedding ring run away from the bride!

because she was getting married for the wrong reasons!

5 why did the mongolian monster run away from home!

because he found out he was adopted ;_;

4 how many nerds does it take to make a bully cry

just one if the nerd is bigger than the bully!

3 whats a cows favorite candy!

cowramel!

2 why did the watermelon get arrested!

because the police found his seeds at a spitting fight ;_;

1 how did the fat guy disappear behind the light pole!

he did it by turning into a cartoon!

haha thanks everyone for turning in your favorite jokes youre all incredibly funny folks!!!

[MrAdventure]

whew this joke was so good that i couldnt wait! here ladies and folks is a funny joke from a diamond in the rough a real comedian!

(sent to us from rongi!) Where does the bubble gum's daddy go to work?

A mom and POP store! (thanks rongi!)

whew haha i dont know about you but all this laughin makes me wanna read a dictionary so i dont die from too much laughin!

[pjalne]

8 (sent to us from big mclargehuge!) what do you get when you get a brain tumor?

thosands of dollars in debt (thanks big mclargehuge!)

:lol It's funny because it's true!

[MrAdventure]

todays a special day thats right top ten jokes from funny folks present make your own top ten! thats right *you* pick the number for each jokes and try to assign them based on which ones you think should be numbers one through ten! lets get started!

(sent to us from jixby phillips) why did the dog have to stay outside!

because the cat was giving birth! (thanks jixby phillips!)

whats a volcanos favorite soda pop!

mountain dew!

why did the stop sign turn red!

because nobody was stoppin!

why did the ten pound hamburger get embarrassed!

because its pickles fell off!

why did the obsessive compulsive car have a breakdown!

because the car wash was closed!

why was the mexican on antiques roadshow!

because he had a old sombrero!

how many times did the family read the 9/11 headline

twice because they just couldnt believe it!

why did the cobra get fired from the wilderness

because he was guilty of sexual harrassment!

why did the fireplace collapse

youd collapse too if you did nothin but smoke!

why did the bird lay an egg

because it wanted a baby aww

thanks folks thats all for today top ten jokes from funny folks and remember you make my day when you send jokes my way!

[Big McLargehuge]

4 (sent to us from jixby phillips) why did the dog have to stay outside!

because the cat was giving birth! (thanks jixby phillips!)

9 whats a volcanos favorite soda pop!

mountain dew!

10 why did the stop sign turn red!

because nobody was stoppin!

7 why did the ten pound hamburger get embarrassed!

because its pickles fell off!

8 why did the obsessive compulsive car have a breakdown!

because the car wash was closed!

2 why was the mexican on antiques roadshow!

because he had a old sombrero!

1 how many times did the family read the 9/11 headline

twice because they just couldnt believe it!

3 why did the cobra get fired from the wilderness

because he was guilty of sexual harrassment!

6 why did the fireplace collapse

youd collapse too if you did nothin but smoke!

5 why did the bird lay an egg

because it wanted a baby aww

[MrAdventure]

whew! sorry im bein such a real knucklehead about getting these done on time folks, its a real tough time around casa del mradventure hahaha so im gonna try and keep it real with another of the best funny jokes from funny folks

10 why did the italian flip off the helicopter!

because they go wop wop wop!

9 (sent to us from jixby phillips) q. what did the head say when it called dr laura

a. hello dr laura i am my body's head! (thanks jixby phillips!)

8 why did the guy not get any sex!

because the vagina closed up shop for the day sorry!

7 (sent to us from jixby phillips) q. how can you tell if an apple has worms

a. if its scooting on the rug or not! (thanks jixby phillips!)

6 why did the little kid get underwear for christmas!

because santa couldnt read his handwriting!

5 (sent to us from jixby phillips) q. why did the egghead cry on the beach

a. cuz summer school was over and he fell in love with his teacher ;_; (thanks jixby phillips!)

4 why did the baby eat a tomato

because he thought tomatoes were delicious!

3 (sent to us from jixby phillips) q. why didnt rosie odonnel air the episode she interviewed christopher walken in?

a. beacuse it was too scary! (thanks jixby phillips!)

2 why did the kids try to buy a beer

because they wanted to fit in!

1 (sent to us from jixby phillips) q. why did the smart alleck switch brains with a bug!

a. because he felt like being gross!

haha ogh im gonna puke from all these chuckles hahaha

hey folks you dont gotta be rich you dont gotta be famous all you gotta do is entertain us! thats right just send in your funny jokes and if youre a funny folk ill print em right up here with your name in *lights*

[MrAdventure]

whew folks well its that time of year again haha bells are ringaling smells are stinkinaling and the funny folks are out in spades

todays top ten jokes from funny folks is more like a top ten jokes frmo funny *folk* thats right huonds up an done a whole monster mash of jokes for us! thanks huond!

1 (sent to us from huond) what did the rock say to the hill?

lets play some jazz! (thanks huond)

2 (sent to us from huond)why did the rock star quit making music?

because he overdosed on drugs (thanks huond!)

3 (sent to us from huond) what did the alien come to earth for?

to pick up some milk and eggs (thanks huond!)

4 (sent to us from huond)what did the robot say when it got fired from its job?

*BEEP* (thanks huond!)

5 (sent to us from huond) what did the train say to the jews going to the concentration camps?

"im just doing my job " ;_; :( (thanks huond!)

6 (sent to us from huond)why did the gardener get fuming mad?

the neighbor kids kept putting a kink in the hose! (thanks huond!)

7 (sent to us from huond) why did the guy fail community college?

he didnt take it seriously! (thanks huond!)

8 (sent to us from huond)who ruined all the christmas treats?

the dog because he could smell through the packaging ;_; (thanks huond!)

9 (sent to us from huond)why did the kid stay up all night?

because he thought it was christmas but he was about 3 weeks off ;_; (thanks huond!)

10 (sent to us from huond) why did you say "awwwww"?

because you looked at this picture!! (thanks huond!)

you folks better head to the store for a break stay tuned we got more right coming at you!

[MrAdventure]

welcome back to the top ten jokes from funny folks now huonds going to top the night off with some real gut busters!

ps i know some of you are all "what picture!" after that last joke well that was my fault you gotta click *THIS (http://www.orphankittenrescue.com/vokraxmascard4.jpg) picture!!! sorry about that folks haha i bet you thought the joke was that theres no picture!

10 (sent to us from huond) what did they chanunkah turkey say to the christmas ham?

nothing they were both dead ;_; (thanks huond!)

9 what did the baby say to the grocery store

wheres the candy at!

8 (sent to us frmo huond) why did the easter bunny NOT hide the eggs?

because hes getting old and running outta new spots to put them! (thanks huond!)

7 whats black and white and red and yellow all over

the fanmous sit-in protests :(

6 how many alarm clocks does it take to wake a bear

just one!

5 why did the stone age jungle tribe die out

because they were discovered by national geographic :(

4 whats a russians favorite video game

probably grand theft auto i guess!

3 (sent to us from jixby phillips)why did the boy tape the diary of anne frank from amc!

because it was his favorite movie! (thanks jixby phillips!)

2 why did the grandkid get mad

because grandma got lipstick on his face!

1 whats did the ghost bring to the party!

he brought a ghost roast!

haha thanks folks happy holidays from mradventure and all the contributors at top ten

[Cosmo Electrolux]

and you were allowed to return because.....

[Jixby Phillips]

you are kind of a dope, you know that cosmo?

[MrAdventure]

hey cosmo why dont you tell us a joke oh wait thats right i cant print them because theyre all about d*cks

whew sorry to get everyone all riled up, its time for a birthday top ten jokes from funny folks!

10 why did the candle say no to the birthday cake

because it was on a diet!

9 why did the balloon go to the school counselor

it was caught listening to inappropriate music!

8 why did the space traveler sneak on a china space ship

because chinese space food is delicious!

7 why did the clown cry

because he was doing an act for sick kids :(

6 why did the meteorologist go on a date

because he was tired of being alone :(

5 why did the alphabet get censored!

because its been really rude lately!

4 (sent to us from jixby phillips) how did the president end his speech?

a. LIVE FROM NEW YORK ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!!! (thanks jixby!)

3 why did the pizza get arrested

because it had illegal toppings!

2 whats a grave robbers favorite thing to find!

anything but bones haha!

1 where does a walnut go to shop!

wal*nut*mart!

haha thanks everyone i hope to bring you some more jokes, and i just want to let you know that if you got a joke send it in!

[MrAdventure]

tonights a real top ten haha for adults only (sorry kids!) thats right, its the top ten jokes from *rude* folks, so lets f*rt haha i mean start the list

10 why did the dad puke up a beer can

because he partied a little too hard!

9 why did the terrorist fly the plane into the building

because hes pretty mad at what our government does!

8 why was the babys f*rt cute!

because it was from a baby awwww

7 how many dirty diapers does it take to stink up a house

just one if you dont throw it out!

6 why did the radio dj look at a b*ob

because he wanted some ratings

5 how many dinosaurs did it take to make a hit show

just the baby dinosaurs gotta love it haha

4 (sent to us from huond) where did the mom go for a vacation?

a bubble bath! (thanks huond!)

3 (sent to us frmo jixby phillips) q. who was the ugliest cast member of Saturday Night Live?

a. Terry Sweeney! (thanks jixby!)

2 (sent to us from huond)why did the kid sneek into the rated R movie?

to hear cusses and see boobs!(thanks huond!)

1 why was the guy lookin for jokes all mad!

because nobody shared any or had any!

haha just kidding folks im not mad, im just kinda *sad* i guess! but i dont want you to send *un*funny jokes or anything, so i understand, but sometimes its kinda hard doin this without your support! please contribute the top ten is nothing without the funny folks ;_;

[MrAdventure]

whew folks the rude jokes are in style tonight we have a second belching ha a i mean helpnig of rude jokes from rude folks, get your barf buckets ready yuck lol

10 why did the kid get sent home from school

because he never took a shower ;_;

9 why did the doctor have a heart attack

because he saw his bill!

8 (sent to us from huond) Why did the grandma run away from home?

she wasted her life ona crummy bunch of folks! (thanks huond!)

7 why did the guy stick a candle up his b*tt

to see if he could brighten his smile!

6 (sent to us from huond) What did satan get for christmas?

nothing because santa is a JERK (thanks huond!)

5 whats brown and wet all over

a lump of fresh sh*t

4 how many times did the sl*t have s*x

more than once thats for srue!

3 (sent to us from huond) What did the butt say to the toilet?

pardon me :x (thanks huond!)

2 why didnt the penis ride the helicopter

because he was afraid of circumcision!

1 why did the toad kill himself

because nobody wants to suck a d*ck with warts on it!

haha thank you youve been great

[GADZOOKS]

This is the best thread ever, Thanks Mr. Adventure.

[MrAdventure]

you would not *believe* just how hectic the holidays get around here at the top ten department! i was lookin through the latest funny folk contributions when i mustve black out from laughin too hard and next thing you know its a week later and it feels like ive been knocked silly by a queue of punchlines haha and lets face it getting abck from the hospital wasw a real drag you cant even get a knock knock joke through the security at the airport what a bunch of stiffs! haha okay folks anyway, on with the jokes!

10 why did the family watch home alone!

to make sure their youngest kid knew they loved him ;_;

9 what did the nail clippers say to the fingernail

do you have any last words!

8 ( sent to us from huond) what did the truck driver say when when a car crashed into him killing all the passengers?

why am i the only one on the planet that knows how to drive? (thanks huond!)

7 how many hamburgers did the hamburger monster eat

only two because thats all he could steal without getting caught ;_;

6 (sent to us from huond) What did the train conductor say after he wrecked the train?

why didnt i study harder? ;_; (thanks huond!)

5 why did the arabian kid go to the hospital

because he wrapped a gun in his turban and forgot to put the safety on ;_;

4 (sent to us from huond)What happens when you fail out of college?

you save a *ton* of money! (thanks huond!)

3 why did the penny roll down a sewer grate

becuase nobody wanted it ;-;

2 (sent to us from tomacco junkie via huond!) how did the blind japanese turkey get to the other side?

on a rickshaw! (thanks tomacco junkie!)

1 why did the kid fast forward through the movie

because it gave him nightmares!

haha hold onto your high horses and hats folks tonights just getting started, dont worry you know what they say if the cure for a funny joke is an even funnier joke!

[MrAdventure]

talk about a super size whew! what did the ghost of atkins say to the top ten jokes from funny folks: i approve this message haha

its a special top ten jokes from funny folks, thats right its a top ten from two funny folks: luchatein and pjalne! awesome you two talk about a boatload of laughs!

10 (sent to us from luchatein)What kind of STD does a hobo get?
Hermit crabs! :O (thanks luchatein!)

9 (sent to us from luchatein) What time did the jungle feline go to sleep?
LION O' clock at night! (thanks luchatein!)

8 (sent to us from luchatein)What time did the mountain feline go to sleep?
MOUNTAIN LION O' clock at night, mountain standard time! (thanks luchatein!)

7 ( sent to us from luchatein)What's the pie charts favorite mineral?
Gneiss! (thanks luchatein!)

6 (sent to us from pjalne) What do you call a salt shaker with a staff and fancy hat?

A salt daddy (thanks pjalne!)

5 (sent to us from luchatein) What's the man's favorite ice cream flavor!
Sherbert, ew! (thanks luchatein!)

4 (sent to us from luchatein) What's Doug's favorite part of the paper?
The FUNNIES! :D (thanks luchatein!)

3 (sent to us from luchatein) Who's the bathroom's favorite current popular rock artist?
Avril LATRINE! (thanks luchatein!)

2 (sent to us from pjalne) what did the Arab do when he got a towel for Christmas?

He had a shower and he also asked "What's Christmas, WFT I'm a muslim."(thanks pjalne!)

1( sent to us from luchatein) What did the angry lawyer say to the judge?
"In defense of my client, she had nothing to do with the events of that day. As you see in exibit A, there are several reciepts dated at the same time as the crime was occurring. These allegations against my client are a waste of the court's time and the tax payers money!" >: (thanks luchatein!)

whew everyone give it up for these fuinny folks! when the jokes get sent in everyone comes out on top haha and speaking of tops i got another top ten funny joke from funny folks comin at you right after this!

[executioneer]

oh sh*t =-o

[MrAdventure]

okay everybody haha whats that sound i hear why its a bellyache parade haha thats what you get for tryin to take all the jokes in one sitting! straight from the charts folks heres another top ten jokes from funny folks!

10 (sent to us from jixby phillips) q. how did the film school kid make a splash?
a. by taking a picture of himself peeking behind a movie camera and putting it up on his website (thanks jixby!)

9 why did the film school student get a f
becuase one thum was shorter than the other ;_;

8 (sent to us from jixby phillips) why did the girl suck the guys w**ner
because she was unfaithful to her husband! (thanks jixby!)

7 why did the chef lose a leg ;_;
because he got drafted to vietnam ;_;

6 why did the littlest redneck drop out of elementary school
because his dad needed someone to get him a beer ;_;

5 (sent to us from jixby phillips) why did president bush swear at the reporter!!
becuase he's gonig crazy :-( (thanks jixby!)

4 why did the american flag get set on fire
because it was addicted to cigarettes and hairspray!

3 (sent to us from jixby phillips) why did jixby hurt his ears!
because he clapped and then he accidentallyt urned the volume up all the way on his headphones!! >_< (thanks jixby!)

2 whats a monsters favorite video game!
the universal studios pinball game!

1 (sent to us from jixby phillips) why did the overbite get jealous!

becaue he didn't fit under society's perception of beauty! (thanks jixby!)

whew! dang if any of you are still alive out there im sorry to say thats all for tonight! i hope i can catch you folks again around christmas for a special surprise!

until then im mradventure and this has been top ten jokes from funny folks, frm myself and frmo the funny folks, good night and godg bless

[MrAdventure]

oh man wasnt it such a christmas surprise when nothing happened :( sorry about that fokls life's been kinda ho ho ho-hum not even the best jokes have been pickin me up lately but thanks to huond's efforts he's convicned me to give it another shot

haha so are you ready to chuckle like a chicken i hope you brought your kleenex haha get it because tonights show is a pretty somber one

10 why did the dad have to go to the hospital

because he cared more about eating than living long ;_;


9 (sent to us from huond) why did the dad yell at his kid?

he wanted to have S*X with a lady and his kid was "getting in the way" ;_; (thanks huond ;_;)


8 why did the son move out of the house

because his family was falling apart ;_;


7 (sent to us from huond) what did the ungrateful dad say to his son?

ANYTHING BUT "thank you"!! (thanks huond ;_;)


6 why did the dad mess up carving the turkey

because he got drunk way too early in the day like he ususally does ;_;


5 why did the dad do a push up

because the remote rolled under the couch ;_;


4 how many times did the dad cuss in a minute

too many to count ;-;


3 (sent to us from huond) why did the dad cry?

his wife of 24 years left him because hes a DRUNK ;_; (thanks huond ;_;)


2 why did the dad marry a stepc*nt

because he'll just *die* w/o a vagina


tonights number one with a bullet (i mean hopefully not ;_;)

1 (sent to us from huond) why did the dad get drunk

because he hated his kids ;_; (thanks huond ;_;)

[MrAdventure]

well folks before i get tonight started i gotta say somethin tahts kinda important

you know how when you grow up and well sometimes your life just isnt goin so well well nows that time and i gotta spread my wings and fly like my dad says

anyway so that means i cant be around to take care of yall and help you get through the day but thankfully ive made some awesome buds over the while and theyre going to be here and there helping keep it up

i know things can never be the same but life is a lot like a big old joke that awy you know

anyway the punchline here is that my pal huond is going to take over the desk its not really a punchlnie i guess since hes a d*mn good joke maker but thats okay

10 why did the father cry at the table

beacuse he got grapefruit juice in his eye owtch!

9 how many milks did the fat kid have

probably all of them!

8 why did the booger pack his bags

because he heard a sneeze coming!

7 (sent to us from huond) why did the ant leave the picnic crying?

he was told he wasnt invited! (thanks huond!)

6 whats big loud and kinda sad!

big jon of course!

5 why did the korean war veteran throw a fit at the store

because a vietnam war veteran cut in front of him!

4 (sent to us frmo huond) why did the family cut their vacation short?

the kids didnt believe dad would *really* turn the car around!! (thanks huond!)

3 why did the teenager move to the woods

she was pregnent ;_;

2 (sent to us from huond)why did the famous writer kill himself?

he got writers block and also his wife died (thanks huond!)

1 (sent to us from huond) why did the skeleton try to play his ribs like a xylophone?

he watned to join the band! (thanks huond)

aww yeah thats the stuff now you cant help but smile please everyone stay in touch

[huond]

i just wanna say thanks to my bud mr adventure for thinking of me to take over the job. i hope i can win you all over like mr adventure has already done! heres a little taste of what i can bring to the laughs table:

1 what was the name of the mail company shut down for fraud?

the PHONEY express!

[Jixby Phillips]

Goodluck mr adventure if you ever get the chance drop me a line you know the email and incase you dont its jixby@novirginsallowed.com

the internet just wont be the same without you but we'll try to keep it respectable while you're gone!!!

see you around mr adventure hope everything goegs well we l*ve you !!!

[GADZOOKS]

Well I think i speak for the rest of the Keepin' Up With Grandpa view that we will miss having you around in the writing room and your antics will not be forgotten.

[Mr. Vagiclean]

bye mradventure

[pjalne]

:(

[Luchatein]

I'll miss you, good luck with life :tear

[opel]

:(


http://fartinmowler.proboards42.com/index.cgi

[Helm]

whoa his board has really taken off

[huond]

hey folks its great you guys wanna wish mr adventure a goodbye and goodluck, but i think he would agree we gotta keep this thread about the laughs. he's gonna be back someday so he doesnt want everyone to get all bummed out so lets those tears into cheers (of laughter).

so here goes folks, my first top ten jokes from funny folks !



10 why was the peanut butter self conscious?

he was chunky ;_;

9 what did the space aliens do for martin luther king day?

they went to work because they dont know about people!

8 why did the dog go for a walk by himself?

his master broke her leg ;_;

7 why did the guy eat the anchovie pizza?

his senses had been dulled by years of alcohol abuse ;_;

6 why did the cat want to go outside?

no one had cleaned her litterbox (gross :x)

5 what would ray charles nickname be if he was asian?

rasian

4 what did the teacher say to the student who didnt do his homework?

i'm sorry your grandma passed away ;_;

3 why did the folks go out for a picnic?

it was a beautiful day!

2 where did the fly go on vacation?

the grand canyon!

1 why was the baby kicked out of college?

its test scores were too low! ;_;



there you have it folks my first top ten jokes from funny folks! thanks again to mr adventure!

i hope it brought as many smiles to your face as it did to mine (a lot!). if you got a funny joke send it on over and i'll get them up the best that i can!

[whoreable]

well huond looks like you are doing a stupendous job pal!

please come back mr adventure! i didnt even get the chance to say goodbye

[huond]

hey folks its great to be around here on i-mockery while its a desert let me tell ya! the folks around here might be a little lonely so lets get the laughs going!

10 (sent to us from luchatein) What did the man say when he saw the most famous structure in France?

"That sure is an EYE-FULL!" (thanks luchatein!)

9 why couldnt the robot find a job?

every one said he was over qualified ;_;

8 who do you call when your dentist commits suicide?

a new dentist!

7 what happened when the movie director threw up?

the actors threw up too and the scene was ruined!

6 who was responsible for getting gum under the student's desk?

no one admitted it but the janitor wasnt very happy!

5 (sent to us from luchatein) Why did the cripple girl lose at Double Dare?

She was physically challenged! (thanks luchatein!)

4 sent to us from luchatein) What did the hip burn victim say to the doctor?

"GIVE ME SOME SKIN!" (thanks luchatein!)

3 why did the boy make sure he did all his homework?

he wanted to get a good job when he grew up!

2 why did the baby go to school?

his big brother got in trouble and mom couldnt find a sitter!

1 (sent to us from jixby phillips) why was the millionaire still rich after he lost his money!

because he had family and friends that loved him :) (thanks jixby!)



*phew* that was a bit of a barnburner if you ask me folks! remember if you got some funny jokes dont be shy! send them in!!

[MrAdventure]

alright buds and budettes you know who you are

remember these greatest hits well i sure do

jokes like

why did the bellbottoms cause a riot!

because they were being worn by an upset black guy!

not to mention

how many music records does it take to get aparty started!

any one as long as its journey!

well they can all be yours all you gotta do is get ready thats right comin soon top ten retro jokes and a limited time offer untiul the rest of this post get a free top ten retro jokes thats right but this offer is for a limited time only

1 why did the high school guy get his lights knocked out!

because his letterjacket got caught on another girl owtch!

2 why did the dad call a family meeting

because he just finished up the family bomb shelter!

3 why did the mom get angry as heck

because she caught her son looking at a covered breast boys will be boys

4 why did the kids build a fort in their backyard

because they didnt have a million video games of course!

5 why did the aids virus call its family

because it was heading for the big time!

6 why did the doctors circumcise the baby by default

so he would fit into america of course!

7 how many bumper stickers does it take to get your point across

you can never get your point across too many times!

8 why did the kid really want to go to vietnam

he wanted to go because he hoped it would make his dad respect him

9 why did the dad hit his kids

because they dont fight back like mom does ;_;

10 how many step parents does it take to ruin a family

just one!

whoa those really take me back and i hope you folks out there realize that you might have to go to several different places to find all these jokes, thanks to our hard work theyre right here all in one complete collection order now

[glowbelly]

i would like to order one of these please :D

[bigtimecow]

make a book prz