BLACK METAL REALLY REALLY REALLY SUCKS

[bigtimecow]

first one uploaded it to the wrong name so
http://justadork.250free.com/eljay/lmaosogrim.gif
:lol

[EverythingWillSuck]

i love that gif soo much.

[ArrowX]

OMG :lol

[Rez]

:lol they always pose like they're in Mortal Kombat or something :/

[Ninjavenom]

BM isn't gay (well, completely), but Immortal certainly are.

[Sacks]

That witch hat guy is totally kicking my ass.

[Helm]

I don't think that's actually immortal. Only the one on the right kinda looks like Abbath. Anyway, yes, dressing up and posing like you're all evil is silly, but then again, it must be taken into the theatrical context of this kind of music. I mean, look at prime period gehenna:

http://lyrics.dax.ru/lyrics/cd/gehenna-the_first_spell.jpg

Doesn't this set a certain mood?

[slavemason]

I don't know shit from shineola about these bands but I thought it was that Dimi Bourg or something like that. They're definitely potential DoucheBags (for you R&R Confidential people).

[Todeswalzer]

Its Immortal.
That little splice is from the Call Of The Wintermoon video
It involves alot of random running through the woods in a witch hat, its the funniest shit ive ever seen.
And give me some credit for it u jew, i sent it to you.

[bigtimecow]

shut up DAN

[Dixie]

that immortal video never fails to make me laugh. but immortal aren't gay! THEY RULE YOUR SOON UNDEAD ASSHOLE. immortal videos are great i miss the one with hellhammer where abbath runs down a moutnain side. he looks like a cricket. black metal in general nowdays is thuper gay it seems. they used to try to be ugly, which was cool. now they're all trying to be pretty, which is gay.

[Helm]

You're talking about Mighty Ravendark and yeah that's an awesome video.

[bigtimecow]

HEY GUYS, BLACK METAL SUCKS, DONT YOU GET IT?

[Todeswalzer]

no ADAM

BM doesnt suck
Immortal is primetime entertainment.
The most entertaining shit ever.

[Pyorrhea]

immortal sucks dick...

Emporer, mayhem, dark funeral, marduk, enthroned, the legion and aggaloch all take a shit on dimmu gayer and immortal...

[EverythingWillSuck]

dark funeral :(

[Pyorrhea]

what does everyone have against dark funeral here? They kick ass.

[Helm]

Image-wise they look rediculous in their 'I am eeevil' make-up. Moreso than usual black-metallers, and that's saying something. Then, what comes out of their mouths at interviews is just so... so retarded. "We're faster than Marduk! If not, we'll be on our next record!". Then, they keep making the same record over and over again. The same thing. I can't stand it. And they've put out a cover album, I think, which is the absolute worst thing a black metal band of all things, should put out.

Their understanding of the black metal aesthetic is lacking, the music repetitive and obviously are morons. They should be shot.

[Pyorrhea]

well, fuck my arse... I like em, i like all the albums i have of them, ...internum and satanas, so whatever... i like marduk more though, because they have fistfucking gods planet.

[Helm]

Marduk is seriously one of the worst black metal bands out there. Dunno what's wrong with you.

[EverythingWillSuck]

no i think that belongs to impaled northern moonforest :lol

[Ninjavenom]

Anaal Nathrakh are what Mayhem should have been. Regardless of how influential they were, their music was fucking boring.

Listen to Anorexia Nervosa, not Dimmu.

Spear of Longinus, not fucking Emperor.

[Karl Hungus]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v352/this_is_not_snuff/ravishing.jpg

GRIM KVLT

happy halloween

[Rongi]

do black metal bands purposly try to look like kiss

[Big Papa Goat]

Isn't Hate Eternal NSBM? >:
Spear of Longinus, not fucking Emperor.

And In the Nightside Eclipse may be the only good album Emperor made, but its still very worth listening to. But the rest is certainly shit.

[Helm]

Hate Eternal are a brutal death metal band in the vein of uh, Morbid Angel, led by MA second guitarist Eric Rutan. Not Black Metal, not National Socialist.

Spear of Longinus sounds like a Monty Python skit. Anorexia Nervosa are french and suck balls. And Emperor were great on Nightside, Anthems and Prometheus. Go listen to Von or something.

[Dixie]

people on message boards are proving more and more to me how many actual metalheads there really are. instant metalhead, just add internet. don't talk about bands you don't know anything about unless you're asking about them. don't assume anything (unless they have corn rows and wear bling bling) about a band, especially based on thier name. and don't pretend to be into metal for 5 minutes just because your stupid video game uses someone's song in it. arghhhhhhhh

[Helm]

I know it sounds all like 'I am metal purist! Worship Omen or die!' but it's true, when the likes of Rongi are listening to 'Cannibal Corpse' (easily one of the more bland death metal bands around currently) that many people on the internet think they're all cool because they downloaded 10 metal albums or something. Supposedly about 'widening their music taste'. You add the beatles on the pop end, and Deicide on the extreme end and you're set.

I'm not urging anyone to get 'zines, read interviews, explore the underground so that they can justify their claim to be metal. I'm not saying that that would be worth it at all. If I were to make that decision right now I wouldn't probably bother at all but if you wanna be metal for whatever reason, do your research. And if you don't wanna be called a 'metalhead', don't listen to the music. You're making a joke out of it, and it's making a joke out of you. There's a certain mindset that you have to be in to understand and enjoy what this music has to offer and most internet people are too superficially looking at it to get it. Mainly because they're not paying anything for it. The semiotic value is usually lost on you, and you come off as idiots that think all metal is spinal tap.

This isn't about Goat though, just saying.

[Mr. Vagiclean]

so much WORK

[Todeswalzer]

aggaloch

Agalloch is the shit.

[bigtimecow]

HEY GUYS, REMEMBER, THIS THREAD IS ABOUT HOW MUCH BLACK METAL REALLY REALLY REALLY SUCKS. so stop defending it.

[Todeswalzer]

http://img72.exs.cx/img72/2792/0c-faggotwithbike.jpg

[Anonymous]

Marduk is seriously one of the worst black metal bands out there. Dunno what's wrong with you.

Panzer Division Marduk wasn't all bad.

[Helm]

if you wasn't you mean was, then yeah, I agree with you.

[bigtimecow]

FLYING ROBOTS ARE AWE

[Pyorrhea]

Man, aggaloch is the shit, cynic is the shit, hate eternal is the shit, Suffocation is the shit. Yeah...

[Helm]

For some good black metal, try defunct US black-metallers, Weakling and their one and only album 'Dead as Dreams'. Some of the best black metal I've heard ever.

[Pyorrhea]

and leviathan.

[TheBoogieman]

I don't know why Black Metal is going Mainstream. but thats gonna stop

[Pyorrhea]

Yes it does.

[Helm]

Nice sig, Boogieman. Nice to know you've found something important to put there.

[Pyorrhea]

Go back to your old avatar helm. or the one of the guy with the suffo shirt.

[Todeswalzer]

and leviathan.

just go to metal archives and search for 'folk'

99% of what u get is great,
the other 1% transcending greatness...i.e. Agalloch

[Pyorrhea]

Im more of a death metaller myself, i like some black metal as i stated, but I really like blasts and double bass.