So what's the deal with elves and shit?

[McMock]

Dwarfs, I understand. But I don't get what people like about Elves. When I ventured onto the internet the first time, I was surprised at how many people seem to genuinely think elves are cool. Everybody in role playing games wants to be an elf, those suckers now even got an underground version called drow that are taking over the role of Dwarfs. WTF!

Dwarfs are cool. They work in dark mountains, the chop stones, they get pissed drunk, have long beards and they're not pussies. A dwarf gets his head bitten off, he'll say (don't question the logic of this, it's fantasy) "it'll grow back". Stuff like that. Dwarves, as far as figment of somebodies imagination go, are pretty cool.

But elves? They're wusses! They sit in trees, and sing songs. What the hell? I don't like them. I do not understand the attraction. I'm not trying to elicit some kind of response here, or exagerating or anything. I quite literally do not understand what the attraction is.

Who here likes elves, and why? I told you what I like about dwarves. Now you show me yours.

[kellychaos]

Shadow People. :eek

[Anonymous]

They don't like elves either they just like to fuck their women. Much like white slave masters would partake in the occasional fuckfest their black slaves or like when Nazis sometimes fucked Jewish women.

[Helm]

Internet people like elves because the elves are basically metrosexual, only with pointy ears. A geek doesn't want to be masculine to get the girls. He detests the masculine archetype from years of highschool abuse by prime examples. So he wants to be have long etherial hair and sit on trees and sing and shit. Write poems or draw the occasional web-comic where he explains his whole woe-is-me mentality in an ellegory involving some crudely drawn american people in tokyo and a robot-girl-sex-doll. And bad humour. They want to be the mysterious long haired asshole like Sepiroth or whomever.

These people occasionally form rock bands and write songs about the temple of solomon, or whatever stupid americans think it the current 'occult trend', just waiting for people to ask them to analyze the lyrics.

[FartinMowler]

MadMax wrote

[/quote]"I like elves because they make me horny"

[Helm]

You're stupid.

[McMock]

Well said, Helm. I agree with you. That's why they do it, but that's not gonna be why they themselves think they do it.

Just like people who take drugs do it to escape their loser existance, but when you'd ask them why they do it, they'd say it's because it made them feel alive and it made them see the sun in it's true colours or whatever paths the acid in their brains would lead their electrical shocks through.

In the same way, I'd like to hear from an elf-lover why they love elves, to see what their reasons are. Not the reason. Their reason.

So, elf lovers... I know you're out there. Come out, and speak, friend. (Or should that be: speak 'friend'.)

[Helm]

...and enter! wahahfrdlfolol! what am I ruining a joke here?

[Dixie]

i like elves b/c i am female and they appeal to my hippie, tree hugger, nature dork senses.

[McMock]

Meh. Not ruining it. It wasn't a good joke at all so it was a ruin to behin with, but it just popped into my mind, and I don't want to discriminate any thoughts. (Read: I think even my shit smells like flowers)

So, carnivore, what do you really like about elves? Okay, they appeal to you, whatever... which things in specific do you like about them? Can you elaborate a bit, because I don't really know much about them. Why do they sing all the time? What do they do all day? What's up with them? Do elf guys have a vagina, like dwarf women have beards?

[Helm]

mcmock made me lol

[Dixie]

it's not like a sexual thing at all. there's a very fine line in between wiccans who think they're elves and rpg players. i like elves in the rpg aspect BUT i've never played an rpg as an elf. it's more of the fantasy element, some people just really like fantasy stuff. i have a collection of little unicorns, faeries, and soon i hope to get some medusas/gorgons. kinda like how someone collects comics or baseball cards, or even metal records. but i'm still a loser so i guess it doesn't matter. i don't know why they "sing all day", i guess that depends on what story you read or whatever. as for what they do all day? are you supposing if they're real or what? i'm not sure i follow you.

[Brandon]

Internet people like elves because the elves are basically metrosexual, only with pointy ears. A geek doesn't want to be masculine to get the girls. He detests the masculine archetype from years of highschool abuse by prime examples. So he wants to be have long etherial hair and sit on trees and sing and shit. Write poems or draw the occasional web-comic where he explains his whole woe-is-me mentality in an ellegory involving some crudely drawn american people in tokyo and a robot-girl-sex-doll. And bad humour. They want to be the mysterious long haired asshole like Sepiroth or whomever.

These people occasionally form rock bands and write songs about the temple of solomon, or whatever stupid americans think it the current 'occult trend', just waiting for people to ask them to analyze the lyrics.
Good Lord that was fucking brilliant. :)

[McMock]

Hey, of course I don't think they're real. But with dwarves, they work all day in the mines, mining gold and making tunnels and shit like that. So they have a profession, so why shouldn't the elves have one too? I'm just asking because I want to learn more about them. I don't know anything about elves because I always forget their backgrounds. I want to know what you love about elves.

[FS]

this discussion reminds me of the Conan bit where a guy dressed like a Vulcan held up a sign that said "Star Wars sucks" at a Star Wars premiere.

[Dixie]

i think elves are supposed to be kinda like humans and do what they want. i think of them as super tall hippies.

[sadie]

dwarves don't like to bathe, and they can't remember which bed is theirs. leprechauns are a type of elf. i like leprechauns 'cause they like marshmallows like i do.

[Immortal Goat]

I, myself, like both elves and dwarves, and just about anything else fatasy oriented. But as for why I like elves, it is because they do not give a shit. Unless killed by outside forces, they are immortal. They have seen it all before, so why care about anything. Until you actually insult one. They are good hand to hand fighters, and they are good with ranged weapons. In essence, the perfectly rounded fighter. Hell, they even have magical abilities.

As for what they do all day, I really don't think they do anything in particular. Remember, they have been alive for hundreds of years. It isn't that all they care about doing is sitting in trees and writing poetry or songs, but that it seems that that is all that is new to them. They have done practically every profession, and once you do that many jobs, song writing seems to be the most consistantly original thing to do.

[Dixie]

yeah what he said. like totally.

[kahljorn]

I thought people liked them cause they make kickass spell casters. In alot of fantasyesque scenarios ONLY elves can use magic.

[ArrowX]

http://img115.exs.cx/img115/917/jerry-seinfeld-005.jpg
"So what's the deal with elves and shit?"

[Jeanette X]

http://doors.stanford.edu/~sr/legolas/legolas.jpg
:love

[HickMan]

What Santa's elfs? :( Those are the only elfs that are good for something.

[ArrowX]

making toys to pawn off for Halo 2 money.

[HickMan]

Video gamz

[DamnthatDavid]

Elves, my knowledge in Elvish lore is slight. I know what I know from LOTR, Discworld, and WarCraft. Same with Dwarves.

Both species are Minorities. They just don't get it on as much as humans do. Maybe seeing how both species live long lives, and they just get bored with sex. Or maybe, that most Elves look like women, and all dwarves look like men, that they have to much trouble trying to figure out what sex is which, and just forget about the entire reproduction thing.

I wonder... If you happened upon a Elf Guy raping a Dwarf Women, would you think it's rape? I mean, come on. From a distance it would look like a guy being raped by a girl, and is that so bad?

Naga Rule

[Guitar Woman]

:eek

[Burger Lord]

I think it is the whole magical god like powers most elves seem to have. Since most dorks are tiny and wimpy they most likely imagine casting a few fireballs at bulleys and such all the time.

[ArrowX]

MAGIC MISSILE! *KAPWOW KSSSHOOWOOM* YOur dead Fatrinmowler.

[AChimp]

The only cool elves are the drow. >:

[Jixby Phillips]

GNOMES

[McMock]

Drow are allright, I suppose. They're probably posers because they don't look tough at all. I think their badass image is good PR mostly.

I still haven't heard any good reason why I should like the elves. Yeah, they're good with magic... big deal. They only use it for doing crap, like healing trees or showing the future.

[Supafly345]

What about Gelflings, whats up with that?

[davinxtk]

Superior balance, eyesight, fashion.
Wisdom, etherial magic, shiny items.
Beautiful language, beautiful locales, beautiful women.
Cool names.
The ears.


That's what I find appealing about elves. I'm not much into fantasy, though, I prefer the interstellar brand of Sci-Fi.

[FS]

This thread is GROSS

[dreaddi]

I like their language. And their songs.

I like hobbits best though. When I was little I wanted to marry Frodo :)

[Emu]

this is the only place in the world where about one out of every 20 threads turns into a serious discussion and a thread about elves would be that one

also, a treant could kill like 30 elves

[liquidstatik]

Buncha nerds.

[DamnthatDavid]

heh, remember that time Gandalf said "Thou shall not pass" to the Balrog and then he fell? lol, that was some good times.

[ziggytrix]

An elf ranger is like a ninja, and ninjas are cool.

All other elves can fuck off, unless they are hottie elf wenches.






Something like that? Or should I have run it thru the aimspeek translator first?