Amber's Love advice..

[Lenor]

Come all come here and tell me your problems..

[adept_ninja]

Your still living is my biggest problem

[Lenor]

do I know you? or did you just happen to fall face first into my thread and decide to spit shit out of your ass???

[Helm]

for all your computer needs

[Schizophrenia]

Sure, I have a problem...

I ate my mouse. Not the animal kind, either. >:

[Lenor]

HELM HELM HELM HELM HELM HELM HELM HELM HELM HELM HELM HELM HELM HELM HEML EMLH MLEH HELM MELH HEML LEHM LHEM LMEH EMLH ELHM ELMH


:keep my dogs on a short leash:

[Lenor]

well at least if its a led mouse you can expect to light up everytime you move!

[WhiteRat]

Apparantly my machinery is falling apart.

[Lenor]

well maybe if you didnt play with it so much it wouldnt break down!

[Jeanette X]

Hey Amber, what can I do to get my legs to stop cramping at the moment I approach orgasm? It's really a pain to have to stretch before I have sex.

[James]

Lenor is telling me to come. But she has to do it in a really sexy way if she really wants me to. >:

[ziggytrix]

I got an itch and it's makin me scratch

[Lenor]

ziggy, stop scratching, your only gonna get herpes in your eye ;)

and uhh.. guys like flexibility so maybe you might wanna stretch befor sex, then the guy can get you up the ass while you eat out his!!!!

bet you never thought of that did ya????

[WTF]

Explain to me how is it possible that a woman can ejaculate. :eek

[McMock]

Advice from a woman, eh?

Bring me a beer.

[EisigerBiskuit]

Explain to me how is it possible that a woman can ejaculate. :eek
FAIL

[WTF]

Explain to me how is it possible that a woman can ejaculate. :eek
FAIL

Then explain why woman normally ejaculate during G-spot orgasms? Some squirt and some just stream. Is it urine? Is it from the glands? Please help, because if I have to buy one more big towel to put under my girlfriends ass just before she decides to do that, I will sue her for something. It is my money man!!

[Terra]

It is entirely possible that a woman ejaculates during orgasm. This comes from the same glands that lubricate her during foreplay. Sometimes the pressure and piston like movements of the penis ("cocks" for you gutter idiots) will create enough pressure to simulate the "squirting" flow that is common but not exclusive to men.

But for manual stimulation, some women just are a little more juicy than others, hence the need for towels. Sometimes men like to think that THEY are the ones who "sexed" their partner up good, but in fact she is just a dribbler and has been for a while.

And no it is not urine.

[WTF]

With Lenor's permission.

Yes, Terra you are 100% correct. The fluid is generated via the glands and is not urine. It taste faintly sweet. Some women holds this back for the fear that it is urine, because they actually get the feeling that they want to "pee". But if they relax and remember that it is not urine and furthermore that it is a journey, they can have a mindblowing orgasm.

The biggest mistake men makes during the stimulation of the g-spot is the same mistake we make when we stimulate any other sensitive spot on a women's body, namely: When we find a particular stroke or carress that is really driving a women wild, rather than keep doing it, and keep doing it, and keep doing it, we change something about it, i.e. go faster, slower, softer, harder, or switch direction. This we should not do. we should keep doing exactly the same thing until the woman let us know she wants a change either through words or body movement.

For the stupid gutter idiots in here, remember that safe sex is paramount and that there is much much more to a relationship than getting her pants and fuck like rugrats, comprehende? :)

[FS]

and furthermore that it is a journey

oh GOD

[WTF]

Nope, the litany expressed during a g-spot orgasm is much more verocious. Something like: "O GOD,god, god god, jesus fucking chreeeeeeeeest!!!!! Does this help you out of your dilemma? Thank you very much.

[FS]

Are you one of those people who calls the vagina a beautiful flower?

[WTF]

O Master, is it then not a beautiful flower with petals and hidden within a nubbin of such secret potential that it made dynasties crumble? :/

Cunt >:

[FS]

Fag

[WTF]

Ha, ha, ha.... another fucking vet thinking he is about to tear this noob down, ha, ha, ha..... This time I started talking some sense in the loveline forum, because on a previous occassion I was rapped over the knuckles by Chojin, because i hijacked a loveline thread. Then was transfered to Mock wars and although I said i was to noob to start a mock war, MetalMiltia still tried and he is fucking history. Now i am back at the Loveline forum and here another vet trying his shit.

HA, HA, HA.. Your move..... :lol

[FS]

Fag

[FS]

Fag

[FS]

My attempts to reply got eaten by the board, but you can see them when you click reply and look at the topic review. But in case you miss that:

Fag

[FS]

Wait, they popped back when I replied, and now it makes me look psychotic. That's not what I was going for.

P.S:

Fag

[mischief]

wtf?

[Jixby Phillips]

yeah, WTF

[MetalMilitia]

Ha, ha, ha.... another fucking vet thinking he is about to tear this noob down, ha, ha, ha..... This time I started talking some sense in the loveline forum, because on a previous occassion I was rapped over the knuckles by Chojin, because i hijacked a loveline thread. Then was transfered to Mock wars and although I said i was to noob to start a mock war, MetalMiltia still tried and he is fucking history. Now i am back at the Loveline forum and here another vet trying his shit.

HA, HA, HA.. Your move..... :lol

You suck so badly WTF. I mean seriously.. you actually think you are good at mocking people? Your posts are even less coherent than kellychaos's and just as funny.

[ScruU2wice]

WTFWJD

[Perndog]

there is much much more to a relationship than getting her pants and fuck like rugrats, comprehende? :)

RUGRATS ARE BABIES. THEY DON'T FUCK, YOU PERVERTED ASSHOLE.

[Helm]

More about

[Terra]

Perndog typed in caps. I don't think I've ever seen that.

I am now lost.

[Anonymous]

What are Tommy and Angelica DOING, Chucky? :eek

[Jeanette X]

and uhh.. guys like flexibility so maybe you might wanna stretch befor sex, then the guy can get you up the ass while you eat out his!!!!

bet you never thought of that did ya????

If you actually bothered to READ MY FUCKING POST, you would know that I do indeed stretch beforehand, however, I find it annoying to so as it detracts from the spontaneity. However, even when I do stretch, it doesn't always prevent cramps, so I wanted to know what else I can do about it.

Fat lot of help you are. >:

[sadie]

i don't know how to burn the sky, but it sounds interesting.

[Anonymous]

Female ejaculation

Female ejaculation refers to the expulsion of noticeable amounts of fluid from the urethra by female humans during orgasm. The largest component of this fluid is said to be generated by Skene's glands. The fluid is said by many simply to be urine (due to stress incontinence), but others report a clear or milky fluid which emerges (sometimes with force) and has a composition similar to the fluid generated in males by the prostate gland.

Female ejaculation in post-operative transsexual women has also been reported. The source of this fluid would most likely be the remnants of the prostate gland, which is not removed during vaginoplasty.

Some studies on the subject, such as that of Gary Schubach, have been criticized for their researchers' lack of medical credentials. The subject has been studied clinically since at least the 1950s and in 1981 female ejaculation was determined to be present in at least one female by Addiego et al.

In 2002, Emmanuele Jannini of L'Aquila University in Italy showed one explanation for this phenomenon as well as for the frequent denials of its existence. Skene's gland openings are usually the size of pinholes, and vary in size from one woman to another, to the point where they appear to be missing entirely in some women. If Skene's glands are the cause of female ejaculation, this may explain the observed absence of this phenomenon in many women.

Ejaculation in women seems to be aided or caused by stimulation of the area of the vagina known as the Grafenberg spot (G-spot).

Female ejaculation and the British film censors

In the United Kingdom, the British Board of Film Classification denies the existence of the phenomenon of female ejaculation, regarding it instead as urination, thus banning its depiction under its rules that ban the depiction of urolagnia.

Female ejaculation in pornography

In some adult films, women are shown ejaculating a clear or milky fluid. Allegedly, some of this is done through trick editing. The woman's vagina is filled with fluids from external sources. With the camera on, the woman can then expel the fluid. In other cases, the fluid is clearly seen as coming from her urethra.

[WTF]

Fag

Fag

Fag

My attempts to reply got eaten by the board, but you can see them when you click reply and look at the topic review. But in case you miss that:

Fag

Wait, they popped back when I replied, and now it makes me look psychotic.

P.S:

Fag



Gullible, Psychotic, and by replying on a noobs post with 5 replies (one after the other), also no Self-Confidence. But that’s ok. We are in the General Blabber Forum and we all help each other out here. You are just suffering from a nervous disorder affecting the young and inexperienced. You call it zeal. If you let go of the pm button for a minute it will assist in your recovery. :)

Anyway, where were we? O yes, the g-spot. With Lerna's permission. It seems that for some women a g-spot orgasm is much more intense than what can be labelled as a clitoris orgasm. However, it will, I assume, differ from woman to woman. For most women it is difficult to experience an ejaculation whilst laying on their stomachs. Mostly they experience it whilst lying on their backs. I wonder why?

[WTF]

Ha, ha, ha.... another fucking vet thinking he is about to tear this noob down, ha, ha, ha..... This time I started talking some sense in the loveline forum, because on a previous occassion I was rapped over the knuckles by Chojin, because i hijacked a loveline thread. Then was transfered to Mock wars and although I said i was to noob to start a mock war, MetalMiltia still tried and he is fucking history. Now i am back at the Loveline forum and here another vet trying his shit.

HA, HA, HA.. Your move..... :lol

You suck so badly WTF. I mean seriously.. you actually think you are good at mocking people? Your posts are even less coherent than kellychaos's and just as funny.

Hi Metal! Nice to see you in the General Blabber for a change. In here, you are my best friend and I will not touch a whisker on your face. >:

Seems like your pm button is also working overtime? :lol

[Terra]

Mostly they experience it whilst lying on their backs. I wonder why?

The position of the G-Spot is toward the front of the female anatomy, albeit inside. Manual stimulation by a partner is difficult at best, to achieve the same caliber intensity that is experienced when the recipient lays on her back. However, raising her hips up on a pillow might help.

It's "Lenor" and this is Loveline, not General Blabber. :)

[WTF]

Terra, you are a wise and kind woman and I thank you. :bow

[Terra]

Well WTF, anybody who pms me automatically gets on my sweet side and is automatically spared my acerbic "dick shtick" shit. :)

The rest you muthas are treading on thin ice. >:

[FS]

If you let go of the pm button for a minute it will assist in your recovery. :)

I... don't recall ever pm-ing you.

[WTF]

If you let go of the pm button for a minute it will assist in your recovery. :)

I... don't recall ever pm-ing you.

Well, FS, then I don't know. There is an 16 year boy claiming to be a transvestite sending me messages under your name "FS" stating that he is just secretly posting to the Love Line forum and being unfunny to release some pent-up sexual energy for pre-school boys. Now, given the fact that I was busy strategically pulling him into a screaming rage with my replies, I was just as surprised to see the pm’s under your name. >:

However, this boy/girl claims he/she is “FS” and apparently, he thought that by posting 5 replies in immediate succession will thus release some of the sexual energy. When obviously it did not, he/she started pm’ing me like crazy. I got so fucking irritated that I said that I am going to tell the whole forum about this shit and will blow his (“FS”) cover for sure. You won’t believe what the little fucker pm’ed me then. He said he was going to post in the Love Line forum that he is not pm’ing me at all and words to the following effects: I... don't recall ever pm-ing you. Shit, these damn fraudies you know!! :/

[mischief]

WTF!?

[WTF]

mischief?! :rolleyes

[FS]

you're pretty ridiculous, you know?

[WTF]

:lol

[mischief]

Come on, really, I mean, WTF.

[WTF]

O, lookee here. Hi, I AM WTF, the son of Kish, looking for my fathers assess; and I have just found one of them. Back to pasture mischief. >:

[WTF]

You are pretty insulting, you know. :/

[WTF]

I know, I know.... But WTF :)

[FS]

It's so great how you're rolling with the punches, but I think you're getting a little excited over nothing.

[WTF]

Yes, I think you are correct. Let me chill. :/

[MLE]

and shut up while you're at it.

[Black Flag]

what's with girls?!

i mean really

[WTF]

and shut up while you're at it.

Teh

[Helm]

No really, shut up.

[THE PPPOOOPPPEEE]

I had a cat once.....

I didn't like that cat, NOT ONE BIT!

So, I fed him to a pack of angry mongrels.

I hope my advice helped :)

[Terra]

Christ.

People around here say I crap up a thread. Here comes a whole new world order, assholes. Hope everybody enjoys the fact that it CAN get worse. >:

[Anonymous]

They're all friends with each other, and they'll get bored after a while and go away in tandem to be gay elsewhere.

Or I'll just ban them if it keeps up.

[ziggytrix]

I wish I could email them cancer.

[Carnivore]

Here's my question! Why would I ask for advice on love from somebody who's immature and probably mildly retarded when I clearly don't need it having been in a relationship for the past four years, about to buy a townhouse together making us one step short of married?

[Helm]

Do you rent your girlfriend too?

[ziggytrix]

He's BUYING the townhouse, not renting.

[the[Hitman]]

Well WTF, anybody who pms me automatically gets on my sweet side and is automatically spared my acerbic "dick shtick" shit. :)

The rest you muthas are treading on thin ice. >:

Slut.

[Terra]

]
Slut.

Aw. Typing with one hand again?

:lol

[Jixby Phillips]

:lol you were right to add a laughing emoticon, terra!! :lol

[Anonymous]

:lol

[sadie]

Here's my question! Why would I ask for advice on love from somebody who's immature and probably mildly retarded when I clearly don't need it having been in a relationship for the past four years, about to buy a townhouse together making us one step short of married?

though i can't argue the first point, a four-year relationship and being on the verge of investing in property actually say very little about how much advice you may or may not need.

[Carnivore]

The first part was the important part. The rest was just filler.

[Anonymous]

like a crabcake :tear

[kellychaos]

Before I proceed, I just have to ask how much more stupid this thread may get. I do have time restraints, you know.

[dkathrens77]

About the cramping: Cramps in the extremities are often due to not being properly hydrated (drink more water, eh?) or an eletrolyte deficiency.

So take a walk on the wild side and drink some Gatorade before sex. For added enjoyment, encourage your partner to give you a Gatade enema as part of foreplay. For those women who don't ejaculate at orgasm, this is the next best thing.

[dkathrens77]

I realize I am positioning myself for mockery, but I wanted to add my two cents worth on the "female ejaculation" issue.

My latest wife (#3, hopefully the final one) is one of those rare (the first in my experience anyway) women who ejaculate at orgasm. She also has amazing muscular control, but that's another subject...

I've always felt it was my duty as a man to provide my woman with an orgasm (Ladies first) during sex. After years of wondering "Do women fake orgasm?" this is like the clouds parting to let the sunshine through! Of course there are other, more subtle indicators of a geinuine orgasm (like that joyful expression they get on their faces afterward, and then fall asleep still wearing). But there's NEVER any question with this woman!

If she doesn't achieve orgasm from from any variation of penis-in-vagina sex, she will let me get my jollies and then ride my leg like a stair bannister until she comes. I love that!

And after feeling slightly selfish all these years for wanting a woman to swallow MY cum, I decided to reciprocate. When I perform oral sex on her, and she comes in MY mouth, I do my husbandly duty and drink it down!

Who said here that it tasted slightly sweet? I find that it tastes VERY salty. It is NOT urine because it comes from inside the vagina and has no smell, even when it remains on the bedclothes for a day or two.

All right people, let the mockery begin. But some serious discussion would be more welcome.

[Dole]

You drink yer bird's piss, you do

[nothing4buddha]

he thinks he's lucky that his woman is losing control of her vag and pissing all over him. :lol

[Emu]

Jesus Christ, how old are you dkathrens?

[Helm]

seventy-seven years of age yes

[Helm]

Look here's a quick way to know if your woman is pissing on you. Before sex, make her go to the bathroom and pee all she has to pee. When she's done, tell her to clean up and come to bed. Put on some Barry White. Then take a gun and shoot her in the face. Proceed to brutally maim your genitals with a sharp bone fragment taken from her crushed cranium. Write dirty jokes on the walls with your blood, and then swallow a towel, or something.

[Mr. Vagiclean]

:lol

[Anonymous]

Helm should have his own talk radio show