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Paul138
Mar 12th, 2003, 04:16 PM
I just read George Carlin's Brain Droppings and I thought it'd be a good way to kill time if we post our own Short Takes. Post anything remotely funny, even if it's only two words. Try not to go above a paragraph, or else it's a monolouge, isn't it?... Well, a short one anyways. Feel free to quote, if you wish, and be original.

"White People Fucked Up the Blues"
~George Carlin
Paul138
Mar 12th, 2003, 04:17 PM
The KGB killed Raspution.
Paul138
Mar 12th, 2003, 04:19 PM
When I saw Bugs Bunny in drag, I wondered why. Well, now it's time to reveal that to a psychricast, huh?
Paul138
Mar 12th, 2003, 04:24 PM
Satan is my business partner. He gives me the people, I let him start the wars.
The Unseen
Mar 12th, 2003, 04:29 PM
Vanereal Material
Paul138
Mar 12th, 2003, 08:38 PM
Your Pareie Dog is Out to Get You.
Paul138
Mar 12th, 2003, 08:40 PM
What Household Item Gives You VD? Hint Hint; It's Not Inanimate.
Paul138
Mar 12th, 2003, 08:41 PM
I Have Summed Up the Two Sexes: Men, the Producers of Seed, and Women, the Swallowers of Seed.
The Retro Kat
Mar 13th, 2003, 07:41 PM
You realize that you are spamming, and that isn't cool, and there is a rule against it here, i think.
Paul138
Mar 13th, 2003, 10:25 PM
You realize that you are spamming, and that isn't cool, and there is a rule against it here, i think.

This isn't spam, it's random humor.
Paul138
Mar 13th, 2003, 10:26 PM
You can never predict when you'll get Swamp Ass.
Paul138
Mar 13th, 2003, 10:27 PM
Whenever I see a horror film, I always wonder how many people jacked off to it.
Skulhedface
Mar 14th, 2003, 01:09 AM
I have the books, that's good enough for me.
Paul138
Mar 14th, 2003, 04:12 PM
If you have sex in Denver, does that count as joining the Mile-High Club?
sadie
Mar 14th, 2003, 06:19 PM
no. no. no. no. no.
Max - guess who?
Mar 14th, 2003, 08:18 PM
Newark is an anagram of wanker - or is it the other way round?
Professor Cool
Mar 14th, 2003, 10:39 PM
Max Guess Who Sucks
Is that short enough
Jixby Phillips
Mar 15th, 2003, 12:41 AM
Paul, do you even understand what this forum is for?
Max - guess who?
Mar 15th, 2003, 02:04 AM
Max Guess Who Sucks
Is that short enough

Prof Guess Who doesn't give a fuck?
Is that blunt enough?
Esuohlim
Mar 15th, 2003, 02:09 AM
"Napalm and Silly Putty" :(
Professor Cool
Mar 18th, 2003, 02:55 AM
Mooseboy Guess Who ?

http://www.celebrity-doubles.com/images/h/hawkeyesmall.jpg

It's T.V.'s Hawkeye from M*A*S*H* and he has come all the way from korea to give an very Important message to you!


http://www.transparencynow.com/images/hawk2.jpg

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU TWO HEADED COCKSUCKER. NOBODY GIVES A FUCK WHO YOU ARE!"
Paul138
Mar 19th, 2003, 08:33 PM
Who decided to put the word "fun" in funeral?
Professor Cool
Mar 19th, 2003, 10:27 PM
Oh i get it

short takes
Sam
Mar 20th, 2003, 02:33 AM
Yes short...

As in Max's penile length.
Paul138
Mar 20th, 2003, 06:34 PM
My penis is recongnized by the NRA as a highly favorable weapon.
Paul138
Mar 20th, 2003, 06:37 PM
Why do you need a cash register at a "One Dollar" store?
Rongi
Mar 20th, 2003, 07:27 PM
Shut the fuck up already >:
Professor Cool
Mar 20th, 2003, 08:18 PM
that was a good short take, rongi :)
jin
Mar 20th, 2003, 08:21 PM
PAUL138 IS A BEAUTIFUL MAN AND I WISH TO BEAR HIS OFFSPRING.
whoreable
Mar 20th, 2003, 08:24 PM
I miss jin posts.
Paul138
Mar 22nd, 2003, 08:02 PM
It wasn't enough my dog had to step in his own piss-nooooooo way-he had to sit in it too.
Paul138
Mar 24th, 2003, 04:38 PM
It's funny to think that those automatic flushers are either detecting your dick or your ass. We've invented technology to recongize and react to our gentials and assholes.
Jixby Phillips
Mar 24th, 2003, 04:47 PM
Sweet fucking fuck, shut up
Esuohlim
Mar 24th, 2003, 05:16 PM
Paul apparantly doesn't listen to anything but short takes.
Paul138
Apr 1st, 2003, 07:37 PM
::yawn:: Been a while.

Lets all admit that Billy Madison deserved more than 1 star.
Rongi
Apr 1st, 2003, 07:40 PM
YOU DO REALIZE YOU ARE SPITEFULLY UNFUNNY, RIGHT PAUL :/?
Paul138
Apr 1st, 2003, 08:05 PM
Fun with Puns: Hey, I like black culture. It's colorful.
Rongi
Apr 1st, 2003, 08:16 PM
I SEE THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT YOU SUCK :/.
Esuohlim
Apr 1st, 2003, 08:23 PM
PAUL, DID YOU ACCIDENTALLY LOSE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR THROUGH YOUR PENAS DURING FURIOUS MASTURBATION IN YOUR PARENT'S GARAGE? I ASSUME THIS THEORY IS TRUE BECAUSE WHAT LITTLE CAME OUT IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO THE SIZE OF YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.

EVEN IF NOTHIN CAME OUT MY THEORY IS CORRECT. >:
The Unseen
Apr 6th, 2003, 09:34 PM
Fuck
Paul138
Apr 9th, 2003, 08:34 PM
Can Odor Eaters throw up?
Paul138
Apr 9th, 2003, 08:36 PM
I just found out that Daylight Savings Time has a corporate sponsor: Applebees.
Paul138
Apr 9th, 2003, 08:37 PM
Every time I hear a Pink Floyd song I wonder how bored the drummer is. I wonder if the drummer is a machine for that matter. Who'd tell the difference?
sadie
Apr 10th, 2003, 06:14 AM
funny how i feel the same way about you.
Paul138
Apr 20th, 2003, 03:48 PM
I've thought of a great way to dump someone. Take your girlfriend to a root beer factory and tell them "Y'know, you remind me of this root beer because when you leave it out too long it goes stale and flat."
Paul138
Apr 27th, 2003, 10:15 PM
The pill is evil. Every pill that has been made to reduce a certain ailment is perscribed more because magically reports of that ailment go up. Suddenly everyone is depressed, hyperactive, or can't get it up.
Les Waste
Apr 27th, 2003, 10:29 PM
You aren't very funny. And, apparently, you are very dumb.

Jin needs to post more.