213 things skippy is no longer allowed to do in the u.s.army

[Johnyy Darko]

http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html

[Anonymous]

214. Not allowed to switch Creamy with Chunky.

[ArrowX]

97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.

[EisigerBiskuit]

215. Not allowed to call ArrowX, "skinny."

[ziggytrix]

I swear to God this sounds just like an old friend of mine who dropped out of college to join the army. His last name was Swartz, too.


58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

[ArrowX]

YOu must be the most un origional person on the planet

[ziggytrix]

I think you're exaggerating just a bit there, Arrow.

[EisigerBiskuit]

three cheers for close posts!

[McClain]

Shit that site is pretty amusing... Sounds like a few people I've met along the way.

[Jeanette X]

There is a list similair to that for the game "Werewolf: The Apocalypse". You won't get most of the jokes if you aren't familiar with the game though.

35. The local 7/11 is not my hunting ground.
36. Neither are Wal-Mart or Kroger.

58. Mustn’t shave anyone while they sleep.
59. If I wake them in the process of shaving them, it still counts.

162. Don't piss on the possessed trees.

166. 'Howl at the Moon' is a bar and I shouldn't sit in front of it and howl.

238. "Stop humping my leg" is NOT an invitation to start humping a different piece of anatomy.

354. I will not chase after girls dressed as Little Red Riding Hood on Halloween.

[Jeanette X]

And like an idiot, I forgot to put in the link: http://www.geocities.com/caliciac/runslikehell.html

[Maverick Zero Unit]

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."
:lol2

[Johnyy Darko]

179. On Army documents, my race is not “Other”.
145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke
124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
96. “Redneck Zombies” is not a military training aid.
65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.
60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command.
56. An order to “Make my Boots black and shiny” does not involve electrical tape.
53. Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range.

[hix1122]

181. Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.

184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something “I saw in a cartoon”.

185. My name is not a killing word.

188. May not challenge officers to “Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn”.

[ArrowX]

My previous post was directed at EisigerBiskuit

[sadie]

thank god you cleared that up. i was all confuzzled.